Glum and dumb.

That's what they say I am. And you know what? They're close to being right. But not as close as you might think.

It's a crazy, messed up world that we all have to live in. We're barely reaching what should be the best years of our lives and we're already dead inside.

We all try masking it in our different ways. Mostly we laugh. But only when other people are watching. When no one's around the guard falls and then we all feel the pain. Then there are those who try to find something good in everything. They say every cloud has a silver lining. I don't see how they do it.

I mean, if you expect the worst you're never disappointed. Sometimes even pleasantly surprised. But that doesn't happen very often.

I've cracked and I admit it. So now I'm hiding. Call me a coward if you want to, but now it's the only way I know how to live. It's the only way I can live. I have to pretend. 'Cause if I don't, then I can't fool myself.

That's really what everything is all about. Not letting yourself realize how you really feel. Because if you do, it hurts even worse.

Everybody hurts. There isn't one of us here who doesn't. And yet we keep pretending that everything is going to turn out alright. It won't though. It never does.

The person who said life keeps you on your toes was a big liar. Life likes to knock you over and then walk all over you. Then, when you gather the strength to finally get up, it beats you down again.

I've seen it happen to me and to kids around me. I see young faces with empty eyes, the same beaten look that I see when I look in a mirror. I've heard about the deaths, the beatings, the stories no one else wants to hear because then they'll have to admit it's real.

But there are still those who insist all things happen for a reason. And that in the end things will all work out.

Apparently things are looking up, or so they say.

But me, I know better.

'Cause every silver lining has a cloud.

AN: Yes, yes. . . I know. I meant to write more on IS, but this kinda came to mind instead. Mainly because I kept ruining the mood when I was writing on IS.