THE GAME OF A STARCRAFT NEWBIE

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Also, I'm not writing this to ridicule newbies... it's just something that popped into my mind.

P.S. Yeah, I'm Durtz on b.net. No, I don't play like that.

One day, Durtz started his Starcraft game up again, like usual. Then, suddenly, he saw something he had never seen before- a button named "Multiplayer."

"Multiplayer? All right!" He said under his breath and immediately connected to Battle.net, signing in. He played a couple of games and then decided to join a game called "4vs4 Fastest Possible Map", anticipating his first win ever. He chose to be Protoss.

Soon, the game started. Durtz sent his four Probes to mine minerals and created one to build. First, he built a Pylon. "Oh, dang. 0 minerals. I'm going to have to wait to build the Gateway."

8 minerals. 16. 22. 28.

All right!

Durtz waited impatiently for his Gateway to be completed. "Ah, I need
to go to The bathroom." He stood up and ran downstairs. When he was back, he noticed that Purple was playing badly- only a Nexus, Pylon, and a Gateway.

"Purple," he typed.

No answer.

"PURPLE!"

Suddenly, a message from "NebulaRoamiePerson" popped into his screen. "You're purp!!!!"

"Oh," Durtz typed and started creating some zealots to cover up his embarrassment.

"You must construct additional Pylons."

"All right." Durtz sent his Probe to build another Pylon in a random place. Soon, a few zealots were completed. Durtz decided to build a Forge. And just as his Probe was going there...

"The warriors have engaged the enemy." Aldaris growled.

"What? This early? No way!" Durtz exclaimed. Twenty-four orange marines had intruded his base and were shooting at the Pylon. In a panic, he hurled his zealots at them and frantically typed, "POWER OVERWHELMING".

Nothing happened.

"POWER OVERWHELMING", he typed again.

"What are you doing, purp?" LosSencAMIel typed.

"Someone's attacking me," Durtz typed. "Why isn't it working?" He tried typing, "Operation CWAL" next. Still, nothing.

By now, the marines had demolished his Gateway and half-constructed Forge and were starting on his Nexus.

"Help me!" Durtz typed. And that was the end of poor Durtz.

NEXT CHAPTER- What the Protoss think of Durtz