The small boy was biting his fingernails down to the very skin beneath it. Blood tore from the side of his nail painfully, and he latched his mouth over it to stop the bleeding. His eyes stung as the coppery taste filled his mouth in the familiar way it unpretentiously did, even when it didn't happen by his own hands. The boy knew that He would be home soon, and that he should stop the bleeding, as He got very annoyed when the boy gnawed on his fingernails.

Too late, He was home, grabbing the small boy by the wrist and yanking him up. The poor boy wasn't tall enough, so he was pulled up higher than he was able to stand. A hit landed the boy's delicate babyish face. The boy began crying as a woman yelled at Him to stop. He let the boy go and went after the woman.

"No! Leave her alone! Leave her alone! Stop! Mama! Leave her alone -"

"MAMA!" Severus shouted as he sat up panting. He moaned mournfully and cupped his face in his hands.

Someone stirred in their bed, grunting.

"Shove it and let us sleep," the sluggish figure griped.

Severus bit his quivering lip painfully until a well of blood seeped into his mouth. His breath shook and his trembling breaths came out as a soft mewling. He heard the once awoken figure snore.

"Just let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go..." Severus chanted to himself in a whispered tone, knowing very well it was unattainable.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Severus finished the History of Magic homework before six that morning. He got up at nearly three-thirty and, not able to get back to sleep, he did the homework. He tried to disguise his handwriting as best he could for Lucius' homework, doing a decent job for doing it at five in the morning.

He was ready for breakfast before many of the Slytherin's were even awake, dressed and ready to go. He wrote in his journal about the two days before, as he had missed his writing period the morning before, and read more about the Great Wizard Rebellion from his textbook. He then found a book he had gotten from the library a few days before and began reading that.

At breakfast, Severus continued reading his library book, "Darkness and its Defenses", as he picked at his food. A few times James and his friends began chucking bits of food at him as was their normal routine. Some days Severus would get angry and fight back but today he was too engrossed in his book. After awhile they stopped, bored of Severus' lack of rejoinder.

Severus spied Lucius not too far down the table from him so he picked up the parchment with Lucius' homework on it and brought it too him. Lucius glanced at him.

"Yes?"

"I have your, um..." Severus held it to him. Lucius stared for a moment and took it. He opened it and glanced at it. He sniffed, the corner of his mouth curling as he did so, and put it away.

"Yep, alright."

Severus debated on whether he should wait for Lucius to thank him or walk away now. He fiddled with his wand nervously as he stood there.

Lucius' friends looked at Severus uneasily and Lucius opened his mouth to speak. Severus swallowed hard.

"Um, err, thank you, S-Severus."

Severus smiled weakly and walked away, nearly tripping over someone as he did.

He sat at his table in silence, reading his book in quiet ferocity, not understanding why he had to be hated so.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Severus had no classes that afternoon, so he went up to his dorm to finish his book. Just as he was reading about the threat of magical creatures siding with the Dark Arts, he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder. He sat up quickly and turned. Lucius Malfoy stood staring at him.

"L-Lucius! Hello! I was just finishing my book - "

"I know. Good?"

"I...suppose."

"Good."

Severus closed his book. Lucius scowled uneasily and sat beside Severus.

"Don't tell anyone."

"What is it?"

Lucius seemed to blush.

"What?"

Lucius pushed Severus so he lay on his back. Severus tried to stand but Lucius pinned him.

Lucius began to unbutton Severus' robe, and he slipped it off him. Severus began to protest, but was silenced by a sudden kiss. Severus let Lucius slip off the rest of his clothes he was wearing below his waist, hesitant and protesting but not really wanting him to stop. He felt himself grow fervent, eager. He felt Lucius' mouth close around him.

Severus had never done anything like that before in his life. His heart grew for the fair-haired boy, and he didn't want it to end.

"But inevitably, this too shall pass," Severus thought.

And it did.

And Lucius left him with these words:

"Don't tell anyone."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Lucius avoided him for the rest of the day. Severus didn't understand why; if Lucius was embarrassed, why did he do it.

Finally at dinnertime Severus saw Lucius sitting by a few of his friends. He approached him quietly, and stopped near him.

"Yes?" Lucius said. Severus glanced downward.

"What?"

"Can I sit here?"

Lucius' stare turned into a scowl.

"No."

A few of Lucius' friends giggled.

It was like a slap in a face.

"Um - "

"Go sit down there where you usually sit. Like, alone."

Severus stared at Lucius, his eyes burning.

How could he?

He turned and walked over to his normal seat.