A/N: I UPDATED! SEE? I AM NOT DEAD! MUAHAH!

To my reviewers-where are you? Well, where-ever you are, if I die, or go mad, please remember I liked you very much!

Anyway, onto Chapter 3, in which Snitch acts like Snitch, and Itey annoys the hell out of him. Enjoy.

SNITCH-

Ummm..Sheesh, I don't know how to start these things.OO, that's a good idea! Thanks Itey!

Hi. This is Snitch.

Now what?...OO, good!

And this is my will I'm writing.

Well, sorta, because it's my will and all, but I'm not writing it. Itey is. He's writing down every word I say. Because I can't. Write, that is. Yeah. So in a sense, this is Snitch AND Itey, but mainly Snitch. 'Cause its not his will, its mine, Right? Right.

Anyway. This is Snitch and this is my will. Lalala.

Hmm? No, gimme another minuet and I'll tell you what to write.If I can think of anything..Lalalala.-No, I will not stop singing! It makes me happy, and thinking of dying makes me sad! I don't like being sad, and I don't want to die! It'll hurt! And I'll cry! I'm probably going to start sobbing right now! And.and.I just.I.

.Thanks Ites. I needed that. Yes, yes, back to subject-what? I said Thanks for the hug, and I needed.Wait.

You're not writing EVERY SINGLE WORD I say down, are you? Are you?!

Alright. As long as you promise you're not. That would be bad.Yes, yes, I'll get on with it.

Okay. If I die-WHICH I WON'T!!!!!- I want to be buried in that cemetery that's on my route(sorry, sorry, OUR route). You know-it's about 8 blocks south of Meddahs. And I know which plot I want too-see, way far at the back of the cemetery, there's this long patch with no graves, and then this hill with this one tiny little cross sticking out of the ground. It's where they buried this girl, Rosie I think, she died when she was maybe 6 from something really nasty. I want to be buried next to her. Because, you know.She's all alone up there, and she's just a little thing.Might be nice for her to have a friend, you know? And I always felt sorry for her, all alone up there, with-OO! Pretty birdie! Itey, look at the-hey! Why'd you hit the window and frighten him off? That wasn't nice! Fine, fine, to my funeral.No, I mean in the writing will thing, I don't want to GO to my funeral! You are so IMPOSSIBLE some times.Meh.

I my funeral to be at that nice church next door to the cemetery, and I want my boxy thing-what? Coffin, yeah, that thing, I want it by the big pretty colored window. Because.Well, they're pretty. And I want the lid of the whatsit-coffin, yes, I want it to be open, because I want people to see me and be able to touch me before they put the whole thing in the ground.It's not a dead body! Its ME! And I like to touch people.Contact is nice. And since I can't touch them, they can touch me.Give me a hug or something before they put me in the ground.No! I don't want Meddah to kiss me! Icky! Shut up and write!

I want it to be a normal funeral, with a priest and people telling stories and singing and all that. I want to be dressed in something clean and nice and my hat and maybe my blanket and some of my stuff. Oh, and there have to be yellow roses on the walls because.Well, I like yellow roses. They smell good.

One other thing.I want someone to plant a plant over my grave. Maybe a watermelon-like in the song!-or a tree.yeah, a tree. And every year, around the time I died, you have to come and water the tree, make sure its doing okay, and talk to me and such. Yeah. I would like that.

Umm.I can't think of anything I really want done after my death. I want someone to soak a Delancy for me.And I want someone to catch that old geezer of 45th who short-changes you no matter what.And I want someone to teach Boots how to pick pockets. So he can be the next me, but not me, just like me, you know? You know. I know you know. Yeah.

Yeah. That's it. Whew, thank god that's over, I don't have to think about my death any-what? All my stuff! No! I don't want to have to.Meh. Fine.

I just 'remembered' about final goodbyes and giving people my stuff. So here goes.I don't want to do this Itey, do I have to do this? Please don't make me.Please.C'mon, Itey, I'm gonna start bawling, don't.Really? You will? Okay, but only if you promise you really will get me the chocolate.Okay, here goes, from my heart:

All my stuff.Umm.divvy it up amongst yourselves. I don't really care. Just be nice to it, 'cause.Well, it's my stuff. Even if I'm dead, I'd prefer it to go to a good home.

Now for the goodbyes.Eeck.Itey, don't make me do this please? Please? I'm remembering the chocolate, but come on.Okay, okay, fine compromise. Group- one sentence goodbyes, good? Good.

Okay.Itey, I hate you.Ehem.Okay. I love you all dearly-YES IN A PLUTONIC WAY, YOU BASTARD! PLATONIC, PLUTONIC, WHATEVER!-, you're my family and I'm going to miss you all something awful. I'm going to miss Snipeshooter waking me up every morning with his bickering with Race over cigars and marbles(win more, okay Snipey?). I'm going to miss Boots and Les trying to finagle me into a game of stickball or marbles or a piece of candy(whenever they ask, do so, okay everyone-who-isn't-one-of-my-little-friends?). I'm going to miss Race trying to teach me to play BS with a Pea knuckle deck, Swifty trying to teach me to run like he can, Dutchy trying to teach me how to be more confidant, Skittery trying to teach me how to drink shots, and Kid trying to teach me how to pick up girls. I'm going to miss Mush telling me stories about his family and Specs reading me stories about other peoples. I'm going to miss Jakes jokes and Soddy's sneezes and Bumlets' games and Pie-Eaters pies. I'm going to miss Jacks dreams and David's words and Spots charismatic.

That's everyone, so-what? OO! You! Right! Aw.Well, you're not that important.Hee! Of course I'm joking, you bum! Stop tickling! I might cry, stop it! Ee! Okay, okay, I'll tell you, I'll tell you.

And I'm going to miss sleeping with Itey when it gets really cold out, because when I'm snuggled up against him, all warm and safe, I know nothing can hurt me because he's there. Because you're all there. I'm going to miss all of you. Everything that makes you you. Everything that makes us us. And I'm kind of sad, because I'm not going to be a part of 'us' any more. But, I know you won't ever forget about me. Because you love me. I hope. And even if you don't, you'll remember me, because I love you with all my heart, and I am never, not matter what, going to forget you, any of you.

Whew, glad that's over with. Wasn't so bad, actually.Oy, what's wrong with- why are you crying, you big baby?...Aw come on, I didn't mean it.Look, I'm sorry-Hey! Hey, you take that back or I'll-Muah! Take that, you-Ow! ITEY! GET BACK HERE!

-END

A/N: Well, that went.well.

Dutchy!muse: Are you kidding? He's the whinny addition of the dumb-blonde collection.

Well.you have a point. I'll write a lot of a fluffy Snitchy romance crap to make up for it.

Dutchy!muse: Better write a lot of it to make up for THIS.

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Snitch!muse: .Is it bad I liked this chapter.?