---

so um Dib said haltingly, staring straight ahead between his mule's ears. He thought somehow if perhaps he didn't look at his mentor, that weird green glow in his eyes would go. why are you just letting everyone join our group who shows up? Dib glared at the mule's left ear. I mean come on! The prophecy was talking about me after all, how many other people do we need?

Or how many are needed, Aubri replied. This is something I was led to perhaps it has bearing on me, perhaps not.

Dib shifted his glare to the mule's right ear. Even his mentor's voice sounded weird. Deeper, somewhat, a little more resonant. Dib gave him a quick glance, just enough to ascertain that the green was still there.

Why are your eyes glowing? he asked, gazing back at the mule's ears as if they held the secret to the meaning of life.

chimed in JC, pulling up next to them. It's like in that weird movie Ghoulies!

No, it's not, Aubri said with a sigh.

Dib said, confused.

Kat called from the ground. Who is this Dark Lord, anyway?

do his eyes glow like that? asked JC curiously.

They say he was once a god, Aubri said thoughtfully. He created worlds but there are beings that rival his power, and they warp his worlds. For we fools who have made what is His imperfect, he quoted absently, there will be nothing but doom rained down upon our pathetic, doomed, heads

cackled the minstrel from behind them. There shall be DOOM!

For you, too, snapped Dib.

I THINK NOT, DIB-BEAST!

Ivy, still riding behind KidK, shivered. We'r not bad.. just cuz we changed KidK put an arm around her and gave her a comforting squeeze.

Change!? What!? ZIM has been his amazing self since the dawn of TIME! the minstrel huffed.

Time is only an illusion, Aubri said.

I still think that this Dark Lord is working for the spam, mumbled Kat.

He could be, JC said. I didn't know there was spam here

said Kat matter-of-factly, is everywhere.

JC said uncertainly.

---

the cry came from out in the overly ornate halls somewhere, sounding decidedly panicked. Tabby remained where she was on the pile of over-stuffed pillows, her fingers clutching possessively at the leather straps that covered her arms.

The king beside her sat up with a groan. You go answer him! he grumbled, propping a couple more pillows up behind himself and adjusting his crown. I'm comfortable. Obediantly, and with some relief, Tabby slid off the pillows and got to her feet, hurrying to the door. It was that she minded her job okay, she did mind it. It was creepy as hell. But it was either that or be kicked out of the guild and being out of the guild meant that she wasn't allowed to thieve. Besides, she thought, glancing back at the king who had an arm leisurely draped over a pillow pile, he wasn't all that bad it was almost cute the way he—

Red snapped, cocking a crimson eye at her. Aren't you going to answer him?

He's your co-ruler, Tabby mumbled softly, but she opened the door and stepped into the hall, folding her wings close to her sides. she called uncertainly.

came the yell again. the distraught, overly thin Irken rushed into view, only to see who it was. Oh, Tabby, he said nervously, shifting the stack of scrolls under his arm.

she said.

Do you know what is up with Red these days!? He's not helping me look for our own heir! She's lost! She could be DEAD! She could have a TUMOR! She could be almost dead!!

Er, well, I'm sure she's fine.. Tabby began, staring.

And he doesn't even care!!! I can't believe him sometimes!! Do you know what's happened to him!?

Maybe he's sacrificing her for a path to a higher consciousness? Tabby felt distinctly unhelpful.

Purple stared at her, blinking. What? Red? No no I don't think so. He shifted nervously, then blinked at her again. you have wings! Maybe you could fly out and look for her? his voice held a tinge of hope.

I wish I could, she said. But I have duties here, you see Tabby grimaced.

Oh. Oh yeah that's right I wish he would stop.. oh well I guess.. um.. thanks anyway, for your help. Shaking his head and mumbling worriedly to himself, Purple went off down the hall again.

Tabby sighed, her wings dropping. It hardly befitted a Phoenix Avitor to be in this position was it her fault that she didn't have any legal skills or trade? She had to stay in the guild to survive, unfortunately, or she definitely wouldn't be here.

Red hollered from the other room. Are you done yet!? I need you to bring me food!! I'm HUNGRY!!

Gods, his mood changed fast with a sigh, Tabby pushed the door open and stepped back into the room.

---

How far away is this town? Dib said to Tif, trying to gaze past her with his telescope. He could almost see the ocean from here, or he would be able to, if there weren't so many hills and trees in the way and of course, if the minstrel's little dog weren't leaning as far as it could to get within his viewglass.

How far away do you think it could possibly be? Tif said. Look, the road's wider, we've even seen a traveler or two.

I guess so—would you quit that, you stupid little dog!! Dib said, frustrated, as the little dog leaned into his telescope and opened its disgusting jaws really, really, wide.

Awwww, I get a squirrel to hug your head!! it shrieked.

Don't worry about his gigantic head, GIR, Tif said in a halfway condescending tone. She plucked GIR off of her head, gave Dib a wide smile, and reined her horse back to continue near the back of the group. Dib tensed slightly, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He really didn't trust her although she seemed to like the minstrel's dog, he was sure she didn't mean any good to the quest maybe she was just here for a thrill he hoped so. He wished Aubri had managed to leave her behind.

So, why DO your eyes glow like that? Kat said from ahead, looking up at Aubri on his horse.

Do they glow? Aubri said, sounding mildly puzzled.

Well, not now Kat said, seeming confused. But, they were—SWEET HALF-COUSIN OF A SCRAMBLED SILICON BEATER!! IT'S HIM!!!! Letting out a piercing shriek, Kat took off at an angle from the road, crashing through the bushes, her feet pounding against the ground.

Everyone halted, turning to look. Standing there in the road, with an eyebrow raised almost to his forehead, was a small, extremely ugly child, with mis-sized eyes, small horns, an upturned nose, and a mohawk. He glanced back and forth between the group that stared at him, then lifted his chin and folded his arms.

I don't know what she's talking about, he said. I certainly am not the son of Satan.

Aubri said, looking disgusted.

Does Satan live here too? asked JC. Ohhh, can I get his picture?

Who's Satan? Dib whispered to Aubri.

Of course he doesn't live here, the ugly child said. I mean, really, as if the prince of darkness wasn't allowed to go on vacations?

Dib said, sitting up straight on the mule's pack. Are you in league with the Dark Lord!?

No. But neither are we imperfect, snickered the demon-child, and without another word he marched on down the road.

said the minstrel. Foreign filth!! Like that filthy stink slave of ZIM's, JC!! They must be SUBJUGATED!! He yanked on his pony's reins, turning the animal, and picked up his fiddle.

Aubri said. Leave him alone.

DO NOT ORDER ZIM AROUND!!!

Aubri glanced at him, then dug his heels into his mount's flanks, sending it into a gallop down the street. Startled, Dib kicked his mule until it followed, the one by the one, the rest of the party did the same, without comment.

HEY!! HEY! DO NOT LEAVE ZIM BEHIND!! the minstrel ranted, forcing his own horse at speed in pursuit. If you are to leave someone behind, leave behind the DIB!!!

Somewhere up ahead, the weaponsmaster laughed merrily, accompanied by the high-pitched giggles of the minstrel's green dog.

---

Kat paused running only when she tripped over some upraised roots and sprawled fast first into a mess of wet leaves. She lay there for a moment, contemplating the smell of said wet leaves, before pushing herself up with her hands and examing herself for damage.

Whew, that was a close one she said. Almost comparable to the galactic space battle that little bird told me about. Kat got to her feet. Her prized orc battle-axe was gone but her sword was still at her belt. That was good, at least. Maybe sometime, she would find that nice insane robed guy again, and get her axe back but not until the spam-wielding demon children were gone. Not until then. It just wasn't safe.

Hey! Hey miss! Are you okay!? a voice called out, and the crashing of underbrush heralded the approach of—ANOTHER EVIL MINION!? Kat yanked her sword from her belt, prepared to die in glorious, heroic battle for the sake of overdue milk, and tap-dancing cheese doodles. Therefore, she was very surprised to see a dash of sparkles scattered before her and a small, grey, furry creature with big soft ears trot out of the bushes preceding the crashing.

Kat cooed delightedly, the sword falling from her grip as she scooped the little animal up into her arms. Whose a cutesy WIDDLE fuzzy squooshy koalaaaaaa!! At times like this, she seemed to always feel her brain melting out her ears but, it was so CUTE!

A moment later, the source of the crashing came well, crashing out of the bushes himself. It was a young man, with mussed blond hair, and dressed in the oddest costume of fancy blouse, teal tailcoat, very short blue pants, tall yellow boots and and that HAT!! It had a FEATHER!!

Miss? Are you—oh dear, the apparition stated, his gaze falling on the fuzzy koala in Kat's arms. Now, Blinky, you know better than to cuddle strangers like that!!

COOTSY WOOSTY GOOOO!! squealed Kat, her eyes very large, very round, and very glazed. The koala smiled and threw a fountain of sparkles.

Um.. er.. oh! I can fix this, the young man said, and carefully pried the koala from Kat's grasp. He promptly hid it behind his back.

As the fuzzy thing faded from her perception, Kat's eyes gradually returned to normal, and she blinked, looking around. she said. An invisible spot of air! Her gaze landed on Mike. Oh, hello.

he said. Are you alright? Has the evil done terrible things to you? Can I avenge you!? He held that pleading look in his eyes that spoke of wanting to be a hero, wanting to vanquish evil, wanting to SAVE THE WORLD—

Well, no, not really, Kat said, blinking.

But if you want, you can come with me and we shall search out many purple-furred corn fiends.

He gasped. What are those?? Are they some kind of evil monster? They work for the Dark Lord, don't they?

Kat said mysteriously, and very seriously. They work for the spam.

He returned her gaze with equal seriousness, and a dusting of sprinkles scattered the ground behind him as the koala moved in his hands. I see. I do. Let us be off then!!

---