"You know why I love you Potter?" called a voice through the chilled
air.
"No, why is that exactly?" James called back.
"You make my job so much easier," shot back Arabella, blocking yet another attempt James made at scoring a goal during Quidditch practice. "See," she continued, patrolling the hoops, "I've hardly had to work at all this entire practice. In fact, you guys are doing so badly I'm starting to worry. Why don't we call it a day?" she suggested.
James, usually one for longer practice, gave up without a fight. "Sure Belle, sounds good to me. I have some homework to do anyways." In truth, he just wasn't feeling up to flying, or concentrating on the game. It had been almost a week since he and Lily had met in the library. Putting off working on their project wouldn't work for long - they needed to accomplish their goal, and would have to talk to each other eventually. James suspected that's why Lily approached him after Transfiguration today and asked him if meeting on Friday would be acceptable. James said that night would be better for him, as he had his last practice of the week that afternoon. Lily had nodded in agreement, and suggested they meet in the tower attic instead.
James face flushed in embarrassment at this memory - though Lily obviously did not feel safe meeting him in the library, and did not want to dredge up recent memories, they still needed books for research.
"I did some extra research on my own, and I think we should try and apply some of the spells and potions to the book. Besides, there are several extra copies of reference manuals already located in the storage space," she had concluded, formally and matter-of-factly. James remembered casting his eyes downward and nodding mutely in agreement. He could not bear to look at her.
Now as he addressed his team high above the Quidditch pitch, he could not help but notice concern in the eyes of Belle and a few other players. First his insomnia came as the result of the death of his last remaining family member, now it came because dreams of the book and Evans haunted his sleep. Even so, he reasoned, a few black under eye circles and pale skin shouldn't affect his role as captain of the team, or the confidence his players needed to feel in him. He forced a smile as he talked, hoping it conveyed reassurance. Several people like Laura and Horace smiled back - but there was no fooling Belle. She squinted and surveyed him mercilessly.
After landing and cleaning up in the lockeroom, James started back towards the castle donned in fresh jeans and a black tee shirt. His messy wet hair threatened to freeze in the chilling wind. He took no notice.
Upon entering the castle, he found a familiar figure leaning against a stone column, perhaps awaiting his return. His face remaining stoic, he greeted him.
"Hello Lucius," James muttered.
A large smile grew on the face of Malfoy, much like that of the Cheshire cat. His ice blue eyes lit up with a sick twisted glee. "Well hello Potter," he replied. "I've been waiting for you," he added.
"I can't imagine why," James replied. "Don't you have some eleven year old to torture mercilessly or some death quota to fill for the day? Or perhaps you need to go work on you dueling skills?" he suggested, rubbing salt in Malfoy's wounded pride.
Lucius winced a bit at the dueling reference, but otherwise the sick smile stayed plastered on his face. James, observing his face and looking into his eyes came to a resolute but disturbing conclusion that there was madness lurking there. Power, brilliance, yes - but madness as well.
"Let's cut with the small talk Potter, and let me get right to the point. I have little time to spare this evening. It has come to my attention that you and I have a mutual dislike for a certain someone-"
James opened his mouth to interrupt but Lucius held up his hand to stop him from speaking until he was finished.
"Please let me just finish first. Now I am aware that you Gryfinndors have a habit of developing his nobility complex and frolicking off to do whatever you think will make a world a happy shiny place - and I have to be honest it is horribly annoying. Also I am aware that you and your friends have been responsible for causing me grief in the past, and possibly in my current situation, although I must admit I know not to what degree," he added, studying James' face for signs of guilt, then continuing -
"But despite all that, there is this thorn in my side that just keeps on distracting me from what is currently my more important business. This dueling club incident has been quite an ordeal, and I intend on delivering retribution. Plus she has the nerve to speak to me as if she were my equal! It is unbearable. My father insisted I keep an eye on the filthy creature, why he would suggest such a thing I am puzzled and disgusted. She poses no danger, she is a worthless and talentless Mudblood. But I have noticed that she and you have taken a severe disliking to each other. Seeing as you are quite closer proximity to her, may I suggest that it may be beneficial to us both if she had to leave Hogwarts, and that I possess means to that end? Despite your faults, you do come from a respectable pureblood family - "
James, suddenly in his fatigue understood that Lucius seriously wanted his help in destroying Lily, and began laughing. Having been interrupted in midsentence, Lucius looked at him in surprise. James also realized that Lucius needed his help, needed someone close to Lily in order to pull off his plan. Was that all he had? He obviously had not been informed of Lily's family history, or her significance. He started laughing even harder.
The absurdity of Lucuis Malfoy assuming he would help him out, the fact that Lucuis was at this very moment obviously clueless it was the "filthy Mudblood" who had outsmarted him and taken his book, (although it was only a matter of time before he put two and two and eight together) and the suggestion he would ally himself with such scum caused him to laugh even harder.
In fact, he was laughing so hard, he couldn't get out any words. Lucuis looked at him, dumbstruck. Recovering a moment later, Lucuis added in an offended manner: "I realize that the Potter family is very wealthy, and that since your parents death you possess that fortune, however I am also prepared to compensate you for your assistance-" but stopped in this sentence when it caused James to laugh even harder. In fact tears were gathering at the corner of his eyes. He bent over and used a pole to steady himself.
To say his family had been rich was a huge understatement. To think that he would need Malfoy's financial assistance!
James looked at Malfoy. Here was the person whose family and dark circle may have been responsible for the death of people he knew and loved. He smiled for a moment, reveling in the thought he would be part of bringing forth his demise. He would help to destroy the Malfoy family. And Lily, the very person Lucius cast so easily aside, was going to help him do it. He chuckled once more at the irony, and started to walk away, giving Lucius a pat on the shoulder as he walked by, as if in thanks for the good laugh.
Malfoy looked furious. "How dare you! How dare you laugh at -" but his voice faded away as James walked onward, never favoring him with a glance back. He wondered if he himself was the mad one, he certainly felt quite lightheaded. The voice caught up with him in one loud statement.
"Watch your back Potter." The threat had come from the obvious source, now stalking away in a swish of robes.
James, dragging his equipment with him, began his climb up the stairs and to the common room.
*
Lily watched the fire. She had been watching it for well over twenty minutes white purposefully neglecting her homework. Eva was too busy with their own to notice her distraction, and for that she was grateful. Soon Belle would be back from practice, and so would he.
Lily felt the rejection of James deeply, and she couldn't explain why. Of course there was him becoming horrified after their encounter, looking disgusted and verbalizing such sentiments. Then there was his continued dismissal of her, even silence during Divination. He didn't bother even to insult her.
There was extreme frustration for Lily in these events. She had not wanted to become deeply involved with James, or have a relationship with him. She wasn't even sure that she liked him as a human being yet, or that she could stand his presence.
What she thought she felt - and found out that she was greatly mistaken in - was that somehow, someway, he needed her. That he wanted to be close to her, that he desired nothing more than her touch and attention. Obviously she had been wrong, and embarrassingly so. But in that moment in the library, she thought she felt him calling to her silently. Lily could see that he was in pain, and that he had been for a long time. And she wanted to make it stop, to hold him and tell him that she would fix everything.
But no, she had been horribly wrong. She disgusted him. She horrified him and the times in which they were close were nothing but a trial for his patience. Potter would need her for the book and its contents that that was all.
Lily resigned herself to this fact as the portrait door swung open, and in he stepped.
*
James saw that the place near the fire was occupied by Lily and Eva, so he chose some oversized chairs on the opposite side of the room, facing away from the two girls. He pulled out his book for Defense Against the Dark Arts and began to read. He had covered most of the chapter discussing the different levels and effects of various stunning spells when his mind began to drift.
He saw Sirius at a desk in the corner, drawing out what looked to be some kind of blue print or plan. He assumed it had something to do with the dance and his plot to pull a huge practical joke. He was completely enthralled with whatever it is he planning, and had one arm wrapped around the parchment as to shield it from the view of passer-bys.
Remus was nowhere to be found. It was getting later, and he would be spending the night in the Shrieking Shack. However, this time James, Sirius and Peter would not be joining him. Peter had fallen ill, and Sirius had a detention with Flich. James shuddered. Sirius had been told to bring his toothbrush, he did not even want to consider what he would be forced to scrub. With just one of them there, James could not guarantee his or others safety. So Remus was on his own, and James also had the night all to himself.
He saw a flash of red from across the room. Lily was readjusting herself in the chair, settling down in order to just gaze into the fire. A useless book sat in her lap. She looked deep in thought, her hand was figeting with the sleeve of her shirt.
The dark haired boy looked away and closed his eyes. He remembered the library, and how he had leaned against the bookcase, eyes shut, holding himself under control, pushing down his emotions. How he had assumed once she had the book he misplaced she would leave him alone, with his thoughts.
His eyes were shut. He could feel his supporting arm trembling, he hand reaching up to check for fever or sickness. Her voice, asking him if he was all right. The hand being so soft and smooth, a texture he didn't think applied to human skin, like a satin ribbon.
Her breath on his face, sweet and warm in the chilled library.
His name. She had whispered his name. James.
The simple act of her lip brushing his and the wave of desire that crushed him and glued him to the spot, enabling him to move as she wrapped her lips softly around his bottom one.
For so long he had wanted to touch her hair. He was receiving visual memory images of her cheeks and eyelashes, the feel of her fingers gripping his back.
He slammed the book shut. It would not do to concentrate here, or anywhere else she was. He would have to rid himself of Lily Evans, purge his system and soul of her memory, of her image, of her taste.
Unsure of where to go, James aimlessly left the common room, unsure of where to go, of what to, of how to ultimately escape Lily.
"No, why is that exactly?" James called back.
"You make my job so much easier," shot back Arabella, blocking yet another attempt James made at scoring a goal during Quidditch practice. "See," she continued, patrolling the hoops, "I've hardly had to work at all this entire practice. In fact, you guys are doing so badly I'm starting to worry. Why don't we call it a day?" she suggested.
James, usually one for longer practice, gave up without a fight. "Sure Belle, sounds good to me. I have some homework to do anyways." In truth, he just wasn't feeling up to flying, or concentrating on the game. It had been almost a week since he and Lily had met in the library. Putting off working on their project wouldn't work for long - they needed to accomplish their goal, and would have to talk to each other eventually. James suspected that's why Lily approached him after Transfiguration today and asked him if meeting on Friday would be acceptable. James said that night would be better for him, as he had his last practice of the week that afternoon. Lily had nodded in agreement, and suggested they meet in the tower attic instead.
James face flushed in embarrassment at this memory - though Lily obviously did not feel safe meeting him in the library, and did not want to dredge up recent memories, they still needed books for research.
"I did some extra research on my own, and I think we should try and apply some of the spells and potions to the book. Besides, there are several extra copies of reference manuals already located in the storage space," she had concluded, formally and matter-of-factly. James remembered casting his eyes downward and nodding mutely in agreement. He could not bear to look at her.
Now as he addressed his team high above the Quidditch pitch, he could not help but notice concern in the eyes of Belle and a few other players. First his insomnia came as the result of the death of his last remaining family member, now it came because dreams of the book and Evans haunted his sleep. Even so, he reasoned, a few black under eye circles and pale skin shouldn't affect his role as captain of the team, or the confidence his players needed to feel in him. He forced a smile as he talked, hoping it conveyed reassurance. Several people like Laura and Horace smiled back - but there was no fooling Belle. She squinted and surveyed him mercilessly.
After landing and cleaning up in the lockeroom, James started back towards the castle donned in fresh jeans and a black tee shirt. His messy wet hair threatened to freeze in the chilling wind. He took no notice.
Upon entering the castle, he found a familiar figure leaning against a stone column, perhaps awaiting his return. His face remaining stoic, he greeted him.
"Hello Lucius," James muttered.
A large smile grew on the face of Malfoy, much like that of the Cheshire cat. His ice blue eyes lit up with a sick twisted glee. "Well hello Potter," he replied. "I've been waiting for you," he added.
"I can't imagine why," James replied. "Don't you have some eleven year old to torture mercilessly or some death quota to fill for the day? Or perhaps you need to go work on you dueling skills?" he suggested, rubbing salt in Malfoy's wounded pride.
Lucius winced a bit at the dueling reference, but otherwise the sick smile stayed plastered on his face. James, observing his face and looking into his eyes came to a resolute but disturbing conclusion that there was madness lurking there. Power, brilliance, yes - but madness as well.
"Let's cut with the small talk Potter, and let me get right to the point. I have little time to spare this evening. It has come to my attention that you and I have a mutual dislike for a certain someone-"
James opened his mouth to interrupt but Lucius held up his hand to stop him from speaking until he was finished.
"Please let me just finish first. Now I am aware that you Gryfinndors have a habit of developing his nobility complex and frolicking off to do whatever you think will make a world a happy shiny place - and I have to be honest it is horribly annoying. Also I am aware that you and your friends have been responsible for causing me grief in the past, and possibly in my current situation, although I must admit I know not to what degree," he added, studying James' face for signs of guilt, then continuing -
"But despite all that, there is this thorn in my side that just keeps on distracting me from what is currently my more important business. This dueling club incident has been quite an ordeal, and I intend on delivering retribution. Plus she has the nerve to speak to me as if she were my equal! It is unbearable. My father insisted I keep an eye on the filthy creature, why he would suggest such a thing I am puzzled and disgusted. She poses no danger, she is a worthless and talentless Mudblood. But I have noticed that she and you have taken a severe disliking to each other. Seeing as you are quite closer proximity to her, may I suggest that it may be beneficial to us both if she had to leave Hogwarts, and that I possess means to that end? Despite your faults, you do come from a respectable pureblood family - "
James, suddenly in his fatigue understood that Lucius seriously wanted his help in destroying Lily, and began laughing. Having been interrupted in midsentence, Lucius looked at him in surprise. James also realized that Lucius needed his help, needed someone close to Lily in order to pull off his plan. Was that all he had? He obviously had not been informed of Lily's family history, or her significance. He started laughing even harder.
The absurdity of Lucuis Malfoy assuming he would help him out, the fact that Lucuis was at this very moment obviously clueless it was the "filthy Mudblood" who had outsmarted him and taken his book, (although it was only a matter of time before he put two and two and eight together) and the suggestion he would ally himself with such scum caused him to laugh even harder.
In fact, he was laughing so hard, he couldn't get out any words. Lucuis looked at him, dumbstruck. Recovering a moment later, Lucuis added in an offended manner: "I realize that the Potter family is very wealthy, and that since your parents death you possess that fortune, however I am also prepared to compensate you for your assistance-" but stopped in this sentence when it caused James to laugh even harder. In fact tears were gathering at the corner of his eyes. He bent over and used a pole to steady himself.
To say his family had been rich was a huge understatement. To think that he would need Malfoy's financial assistance!
James looked at Malfoy. Here was the person whose family and dark circle may have been responsible for the death of people he knew and loved. He smiled for a moment, reveling in the thought he would be part of bringing forth his demise. He would help to destroy the Malfoy family. And Lily, the very person Lucius cast so easily aside, was going to help him do it. He chuckled once more at the irony, and started to walk away, giving Lucius a pat on the shoulder as he walked by, as if in thanks for the good laugh.
Malfoy looked furious. "How dare you! How dare you laugh at -" but his voice faded away as James walked onward, never favoring him with a glance back. He wondered if he himself was the mad one, he certainly felt quite lightheaded. The voice caught up with him in one loud statement.
"Watch your back Potter." The threat had come from the obvious source, now stalking away in a swish of robes.
James, dragging his equipment with him, began his climb up the stairs and to the common room.
*
Lily watched the fire. She had been watching it for well over twenty minutes white purposefully neglecting her homework. Eva was too busy with their own to notice her distraction, and for that she was grateful. Soon Belle would be back from practice, and so would he.
Lily felt the rejection of James deeply, and she couldn't explain why. Of course there was him becoming horrified after their encounter, looking disgusted and verbalizing such sentiments. Then there was his continued dismissal of her, even silence during Divination. He didn't bother even to insult her.
There was extreme frustration for Lily in these events. She had not wanted to become deeply involved with James, or have a relationship with him. She wasn't even sure that she liked him as a human being yet, or that she could stand his presence.
What she thought she felt - and found out that she was greatly mistaken in - was that somehow, someway, he needed her. That he wanted to be close to her, that he desired nothing more than her touch and attention. Obviously she had been wrong, and embarrassingly so. But in that moment in the library, she thought she felt him calling to her silently. Lily could see that he was in pain, and that he had been for a long time. And she wanted to make it stop, to hold him and tell him that she would fix everything.
But no, she had been horribly wrong. She disgusted him. She horrified him and the times in which they were close were nothing but a trial for his patience. Potter would need her for the book and its contents that that was all.
Lily resigned herself to this fact as the portrait door swung open, and in he stepped.
*
James saw that the place near the fire was occupied by Lily and Eva, so he chose some oversized chairs on the opposite side of the room, facing away from the two girls. He pulled out his book for Defense Against the Dark Arts and began to read. He had covered most of the chapter discussing the different levels and effects of various stunning spells when his mind began to drift.
He saw Sirius at a desk in the corner, drawing out what looked to be some kind of blue print or plan. He assumed it had something to do with the dance and his plot to pull a huge practical joke. He was completely enthralled with whatever it is he planning, and had one arm wrapped around the parchment as to shield it from the view of passer-bys.
Remus was nowhere to be found. It was getting later, and he would be spending the night in the Shrieking Shack. However, this time James, Sirius and Peter would not be joining him. Peter had fallen ill, and Sirius had a detention with Flich. James shuddered. Sirius had been told to bring his toothbrush, he did not even want to consider what he would be forced to scrub. With just one of them there, James could not guarantee his or others safety. So Remus was on his own, and James also had the night all to himself.
He saw a flash of red from across the room. Lily was readjusting herself in the chair, settling down in order to just gaze into the fire. A useless book sat in her lap. She looked deep in thought, her hand was figeting with the sleeve of her shirt.
The dark haired boy looked away and closed his eyes. He remembered the library, and how he had leaned against the bookcase, eyes shut, holding himself under control, pushing down his emotions. How he had assumed once she had the book he misplaced she would leave him alone, with his thoughts.
His eyes were shut. He could feel his supporting arm trembling, he hand reaching up to check for fever or sickness. Her voice, asking him if he was all right. The hand being so soft and smooth, a texture he didn't think applied to human skin, like a satin ribbon.
Her breath on his face, sweet and warm in the chilled library.
His name. She had whispered his name. James.
The simple act of her lip brushing his and the wave of desire that crushed him and glued him to the spot, enabling him to move as she wrapped her lips softly around his bottom one.
For so long he had wanted to touch her hair. He was receiving visual memory images of her cheeks and eyelashes, the feel of her fingers gripping his back.
He slammed the book shut. It would not do to concentrate here, or anywhere else she was. He would have to rid himself of Lily Evans, purge his system and soul of her memory, of her image, of her taste.
Unsure of where to go, James aimlessly left the common room, unsure of where to go, of what to, of how to ultimately escape Lily.
