Ryou, Bakura, and Marik wandered aimlessly through the woods, more lost than they were before thanks to Bakura's map skills. He lead them deeper and deeper into the woods, took a sharp turn, smacked right into a tree, tumbled down a hill and wound up in a place that seemed very familiar….

" This place looks familiar." Commented Bakura, peering over the map.

" That's 'cause we started out from here! Are you sure you're not reading the map upside down…or sideways or any other way morons usually prefer?" Marik groaned and plopped down on the grass.

" Of course not! What made you think that I'm so stupid I can't even read a map?"

" Maybe because you are…"

" Uh…Bakura" Ryou said pointing to his yami's arm. " Incase you haven't noticed, but there's a snake biting your arm."

Bakura lifted his arm up to reveal a snake latched tightly on, hissing angrily. He simply stared at it fascinated, then shrugged.

" Meh. They usually give up in an hour or so." He shook his head in pity at the snake. " Snake…nature's biggest quitters…"

Sure enough, the snake dropped to the ground and slipped away, turning around to give Bakura one last his before it disappeared into the bushes.

" See, told ya."

Marik buried his face in his hands and shook his head sighing loudly.

" Sometimes, I wander if you're a blond." He muttered.

" What?" Bakura snapped his head around

" He said he sometimes wander if you're a blond!" Ryou practically shouted in Bakura's ears.

A cold wind suddenly blew past them as the white hair thief absorbed the information, his mouth slightly hanging open, a little drool hanging at the corner of his mouth and eyes staring off into space.

" Oh…" He finally managed to say when it was already dark out. Ryou and Marik had already built a campfire and the food they were already cooking was almost done. They sat around the fire, carefully studying the map.

" Well, I don't really remember. It was over five thousand years ago. I could have been…"

His companions suddenly looked up and stared at him as if he had just gone crazy.

" Uh…Bakura. What are you talking about?" Asked Marik his mouth full of burnt food. There was a long pause again from the old thief as he thought of an answer.

" I was answering the question."

" What question?"

" The blond question…I think"

Marik and Ryou gaped at him. Somewhere, a cricket chirped loudly.

" That was five hours ago and you just thought up something to say?!"

Another pause, but not as long. The same cricket still chirped.

" Yep. Pretty much."

Ryou and Marik both gave a long sigh, both shaking their heads, exasperated at their supposedly blond friend.

" Ryou," Marik said filling his voice with as much pity he could. " I pity you from the bottom of my heart…if I had one."

Unaware of everything that was going on, Bakura sat down beside the fire and rubbed his hands gleefully together.

" So…what's for dinner?"

********************

After the trio had eaten, they set off again into the woods. Ryou and Marik kept a good distance away from Bakura and squirted him with water guns each time he managed to stray ten feet of them. They had finally let Bakura go near them after a tiny spider landed on his shoulder, freaking him out. They had to take pity on the infamous tomb robber who wasn't afraid of being bitten by poisonous snakes coward in front of a tiny little spider. Who wouldn't?

" Marik are you sure this is the right road?" asked Ryou following his friend who was now the holder of the map. He yanked the chain that was wrapped around his yami's neck making him move again.

" Of course. I may be a blond, but my IQ is WAY higher that that guy's." Marik answered jerking his thumb at Bakura who was trying desperately to tear off the chain around his neck and gasping for air.

" OK. Because I was afraid we might suddenly fall off a AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The trio screamed, with the exception of Bakura who was to busy gasping for enough air for a scream, as the ground vanished beneath their feet and plunged into the dark chasm below.

Instead of hitting the ground and being squashed into flat pancakes, they suddenly splashed into a pool of icy water. Bakura, however, plopped into an oversized flower. The petals closed in on him as soon as he fell in, eating him alive.

Gasping for breath, Ryou broke through the surface of the water and followed Marik back to shore. Pulling himself out, he suddenly remembered about his yami.

" Where's Bakura?"

As if on cue, Bakura's head suddenly popped out of the flower on the opposite shore, his mouth opened wide as he munched through the petals like Homer Simpson with a doughnut. The others stared, bug eyed, as he polished off the rest of the flower in no time. When he was done, he moved on to the other vegetation along the shore and started eating them as well. When he was done, the whole other side was a barren wasteland.

With a stomach about the size of Texas, Bakura started to dog paddle across the water, but sank to the bottom like stone.

" For some strange reason," Marik said rubbing his chin. If he had a beard, he would have stroked it. " But he reminds me of the dumb dog, uh, what's his name…uh…no wait…um…what's his name again? Ah forget it! I can't remember his name."

Bakura suddenly resurfaced, thrashing in the water.

" HELP!! I can't swim! I can't swimafhoingdukg-" With a loud gurgling sound, he sank back into the water.

" Dammit Bakura! How dumb can you be?" Ryou screamed. " Just stand up!"

Bakura's head popped through the water once more, stood up, the water hardly reaching his chin, and waded over to his companions.

" For a evil genius," Marik commented as the thief climbed ashore. " You're a complete dumb ass."

Ryou nodded solemnly.

" I think it has to do with the fact that he's half breed."

" What do you mean?"

" Well, his mother was Egyptian and his father…a brick."

**********************

The three of them, again, stumbled through the woods in search of a way out. This time, none of them had the accursed map. It fell into the flower with Bakura and he accidentally ate it. Suddenly, a dark shadow loomed ahead of them. They looked up to see a large house covered with cobwebs in front of a large full moon. The windows were all boarded up, and far away, and there was a sound in the distance that sounded very much like that of howling wolf. A loud blood-curdling scream suddenly drifted out of the house.

" Maybe we can stay there tonight." Said Marik pointing up at the house that was VERY likely haunted.

" What if its haunted with an ax murderer?"

" You still believe in that crap?"

" Well it sure looks like it's haunted."

" It'll be harmless! C'mon!"

Ryou watched as his friend skipped up the hill towards the house and sighed.

" Now looks who's the dumb blond…" he said when he was out of earshot.

" I thought he was already blond." added Bakura. Ryou groaned and waved his hand dismissively at him as he passed him going up the hill.

" Forget you!"

" Huh?" Questioned Bakura, puzzled. " How can you forget me when I'm standing right here?"

" GAH!" Ryou threw his arms up in frustration. " Forget it! Just...Forget It! I swear your just 'bout the dumbest dumb ass there is!"

With that, he disappeared into the house, still muttering about how dumb a person can be.

Bakura was now left alone at the bottom of the hill still pondering what Ryou meant. He stood there, not noticing as a dark figure with a pointy hat and riding on a broom flew by him, jabbing a knife into his back. He also didn't notice when an ax was suddenly thrown in his direction, landing barely inches away from his head and cutting off a lock of his hair. He just stood there, like and idiot, mouth hanging open and staring off into space. It was only then when a large tarantula fell from the trees beside him, did he scream like a little girl and scamper up the hill and into the house.