It wasn't right to be in the same hotel room with her when Luka was sick and Abby was waiting in Chicago for him. Luka's changes were slim. They both knew it before they left the hospital. The doctor had practically forced them out the door, with orders not to come back until they showered and slept. He didn't sleep. He couldn't. It had been a long time since he remembered sleeping without having a nightmare and waking up in a cold sweat. He had a feeling that Abby didn't know. She usually slept through the night, occasionally waking up, but never found anything wrong. Everyone at work was aware of his sleeping habits or lack there of. Now it was only getting worse. However, he felt he worked better under pressure when his judgment wasn't clouded by sleep. He wasn't deprived of sleep, because most of the time he felt fully rested. He somehow managed to gain the energy most do while sleeping, while still awake and functioning.

"What are you doing?" Gillian asked when she walked into his room and found him staring out the window. He reached up and removed his headphones and turned toward her.

"Watching the stars. Why aren't you asleep?" he asked.

"I'm worried about Luka. Just don't tell him I admitted it."

"You need sleep."

"So do you," she retorted.

"I don't sleep." She stood beside him as he looked out the window.

"What do you see when you look out?" she asked.

"Emptiness."

"Why?" she asked.

He only shrugged. "What do you see?"

"Hope." He looked over at her. "I don't get it."

"What?" His mind refused to believe what his body was telling him. He was committed to Abby. He loved her. And Gillian loved Luka. It all made sense until now. Until she traced his features with her finger, his tired and weary eyes transfixed on her movements and her mouth as she whispered words he never learned in French. He opened his mouth to object to her words, to her actions, but he couldn't. She reached behind his head and slowly pulled it down so their lips met. It was familiar, like it was a regular occurrence. He could feel the heat of her breath on his neck as she fingers swiftly unbuttoned his shirt, and then on his stomach as she sat down on the bed and pulled him closer so she could unfasten his jeans. His fingers found her long hair and tangled among the tresses. He couldn't remember how he went from standing to lying down but when he finally recovered for the euphoria that wrapped itself around his body, he found Gillian curled up next to him, their bodies tangled together amongst sheets and discarded clothes. It was then that he realized how starved for physical attention they both were and he couldn't have felt any worse than the moment he realized they weren't as safe as he had hoped.

He'd betrayed Luka. He'd betrayed Abby. At least he wasn't coming out of it knowing that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Gillian. Neither of them was gentle. It was raw, animal instinct and he was ashamed to admit how good it felt. Well, it always felt good, but with Abby, he always took the time to make sure she felt good before he gave in himself. Gillian could have cared less. Together they did things he hadn't done since he was in high school, or med school. There was a limited type of women who could achieve such a state. There were few on his list. Certain men could handle it while others couldn't. He assumed Luka was one of those men, only due to the fact that he had shared that kind of intimacy with Gillian. It made him wonder if Abby had that type of side or if she was too precious and fragile to take advantage in such a way.

When she rolled out of his bed, he was gone. She wasn't surprised at all. She showered and got dressed and found him an hour later, tying his shoes in the living room.

"We should get to the hospital," he told her, standing up.

"I'm ready. Did something happen?" she asked.

"Let's go," he insisted, leading her out without an explanation.

With Carter's determination and driving mixed, it didn't take long to get to the hospital. It made her worry more at how silent he was.

"Hi. You must be Dr. Carter and Gillian," the man in blue scrubs said as he walked out of the recovery room. "Thanks for coming so quickly. I wanted to give you as much time to sleep as possible. I'm sorry I was unavailable when you arrived but I'm sure you understand that getting Luka into surgery was critical."

"I do. I appreciate you being able to do this on short notice," Carter said.

"What's wrong?" Gillian asked.

"His condition is worsening. His CT shows slow deteriorating signs of activity. Unless this improves, there are measures we are required to take."

"Has he triggered the vent?" Carter asked.

"No. In a condition this bad, we're used to not seeing many signs of improvement within the first twenty-four hours. It's hard to tell how long he's been sick before the actual injury occurred. My main concern at this time, is that his brain was deprived of a lot of oxygen," the doctor told them. "It's not our decision to unplug."

"He doesn't have any living relatives. His parents are dead and his wife and children died in the war," Carter told the doctor.

"Then, it is our discretion to decide what is best for the patient," the doctor added.

"Do what you feel is necessary," Carter said.

"Don't do this John," Gillian pleaded.

"You know what's going to happen. He's practically brain dead. If we get him back, he won't be the same. He'll need twenty-four hour care. Nothing will function properly. Right now, he has a chance of donating organs. But not if we don't make a decision." Gillian didn't respond.

"I'll get the papers," the doctor said walking off.