Weiss's Midsummer Night's Dream

Act One, Scene One

A/N: O___________o Heeeey, I'm ACTUALLY working on this! *dances and waves banners around* Ooh, wow, yaoi fans will KILL me for this, but.... MEH. *continues dancing*

Disclaimer: I own not the Shakespeare or the Weiss Kreuz characters. I only own the twisted, horribly MAIMED version of A Midsummer Night's Dream that will be... this... fic x_o The original Midsummer Night's Dream is © William Shakespeare. He's dead. He lived a few hundred years ago. Therefore, I doubt he will sue me for using his storyline.

People in this scene:

Persia playing Theseus

Manx playing Hippolyta

Momoe playing Philostrate

Yuriko and Kase as random attendants

Masafumi Takatori playing Egeus

Tot playing Hermia

Nagi playing Lysander

Omi playing Demetrius

Ouka playing Helena

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

[Scene: Athens. Persia's palace]

[Enter: Persia, Manx, Momoe, Yuriko, Kase]

Persia: Heeeeeeeeey, guess what, Manx? In four days we're gonna be married! *dances*

Manx: x_x Only four days? Dear God...

Persia: ^_^ Go and tell everybody about this, okay, Momoe? I want the whole kingdom to know!

Momoe: =^-^=

[Exit Momoe]

Persia: Manx, admit it; you love me 'cause I'm sooooo hot! *poses like the Great Saiyaman*

Manx: .... -__________________________-'

Persia: However, even though I'm SO TOTALLY HOT, I will marry you for love! And because if you don't marry me, you'll be fired.

Manx: .... x_x

[Enter: Masafumi, Tot, Nagi, and Omi]

Masafumi: Look, we'll go talk to the Duke, and---oh sweet Lord! They let HIM be in charge of ATHENS... ? *stares at Persia*

Persia: *high on the fact that he's getting married* Well well, if it isn't my favorite nephew! WAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?!?!?!?

Masafumi: No, no, that's all wrong! It goes like this... *takes a deep breath* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP?!?!?!?!

Persia: WAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP?!?!?!?!?!

Masafumi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?!

Nagi: What're you ON, man.... ?

Manx: Don't ask.

Nagi: I won't.

Masafumi: I have a problem...

Omi: THAT was an understatement.

Persia: _ Be quiet, knave, and let the good man speak!

Masafumi: *sticks his tongue out at Omi* NYEEEH! Anyway, uh, I want my 'daughter' *points at Tot* to marry him *points at Omi*. But she *points at Tot* loves HIM *points at Nagi* and HE *points at Omi* doesn't like him *points at Nagi*. And she *points at Tot* gave him *points at Nagi* a bracelet, but I *points at himself* don't want him *points at Nagi* anywhere NEAR my daughter *points at Tot*. I want her *still pointing at Tot* to marry him *points at Omi*, but she *points at Tot* refuses. Ya got that?

Persia: *scratches chin* I think so.... basically, she's just commiting INSUBORDINATION! *points accusing finger at Tot* Didn't your Papa tell you who you were gonna marry? If he says your marryin' the blonde guy, you're marryin' the blonde guy!

Tot: Tot hates Bombay! Her love Nagi!

Persia: Eh? Well.... um... you still hafta listen to your Papa! Got it?

Tot: NO! *sticks tongue out*

Persia: WHAAAAAAT?!?! YOU DARE TO DEFY MY AUTHORITAY?!?! *magically grows to be thirty feet tall and bright red with little devil horns and all sorts of hell fire behind him* I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!!! YOU SHALL MARRY THE BLONDIE OR DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!

Tot: But Tot loves Nagi!

Persia: AND I LOVE SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR! BUT I DON'T GET TO MARRY HER, SO DEAL WITH IT! *bows before his Sarah Michelle Gellar shrine, made out of bottlecaps and dandelions*

All: --;;

Persia: *coughs and shrinks back to normal* Er, well... you still have to marry Omi. Sorry, kid. Marry him or die.

Nagi: *twitches* KISAMAAAAAAAA!!! TOUCH MY TOTO-CHAN AND DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Persia: O.O! *hides behind Manx* Save meeeeeeeee.... you're an amazon, save me already!

Manx: *pushes Persia away* Hm, lemme think about it......no.

Persia: v_v

Manx: _

Persia: *whimpers*

Tot: Tot loves only Nagi! She will never marry ugly old Bombay!

Omi: Heeeeeeey....

Persia: SHUDDUP! *growls* Listen, Tot.... may I call you Tot? Anyways, Tot, you have to marry Omi or you will die. And then Nagi will be all alone. Forever. Until he marries someone else.

Tot: N-n-n-o! You lieeeeee! Waaaaaaaaah! *starts to cry*

Omi: But Tot! I love you, too! *smile genkily*

Nagi: ___! *uses his powers to throw Omi through a brick wall* MINE! *grabs Tot and hugs her* ^o^

Tot: ^o^

Omi: x_o

Masafumi: Seeeeee?!?! She won't marry him! I'm gonna be ruined! *starts crying profusely* Waaaaaaaah, my plaaaaaaaaaaaans!

Nagi: Why can't *I* marry Toto-chan? I love her an' all...

Masafumi: .......no. I don't like you.

Nagi: Why not?!

Masafumi: *shrugs* I dunno. I just... don't. So NO! You canNOT marry my daughter! Ever! *jumps up and down angrily* NEVER EVER EVER!!!

Persia: *coughs*

Masafumi: *stops jumping* *begins whistling Dixie*

Persia: ..... Say goodbye to each other while we all conveniently leave at the same time and give you enough time to think up plans for eloping.

Nagi: *a little light bulb appears over his head, probably beause he's using telekinesis to float it there, and since I feel like it, the light bulb lights up* Okaaaaaaaay... ^o^

Masafumi: *still crying* Waaaaaaaaaaaah...

Manx: *slaps him* Grow up, you retarded FREAK.

Masafumi; *whimpers in fear* *salutes* Yes ma'am.

[Exit all except Nagi and Tot]

Nagi: *looks at Tot* Hi.

Tot: *looks at Nagi* Hi.

Nagi: ...

Tot: ...

Nagi: .......wanna elope?

Tot: Okay!

Nagi: ^_______________________________^

Tot: ^_____________________________^

Nagi: I love you.

Tot: Tot loves Nagi too! *pauses* *blinks owlishly* Does this mean Nagi and Tot will live together?

Nagi: Uh..... suuuuuuuuure... but only if we sneak out of Athens and elope against your 'Papa''s wishes.

Tot: Okay! ^_^

Nagi: -______________________- That doesn't bother you?

Tot: *blinks* Tot loves her Papa, but she loves Nagi more!

Nagi: *eyes turn into hearts* Really?

Tot: ^_^! *nods happily*

Both: *start dancing together merrily*

Nagi: Uh-oh.... here comes the bitch... uh, I mean... here comes Ouka... the bitch.

[Enter Ouka]

Tot: HIIIII! *waves*

Ouka: *shakes her fist angrily* Spill it! WHERE'S MY OMI-SAN?!?!?!?!?!

Tot: *shrugs* Him left.

Ouka: *stops yelling* Really?

Tot + Nagi: *nod*

Ouka: Oh... okay. So... what're you guys doin'?

Tot: Tot and Nagi are going to elope!

Ouka: *raises eyebrow* Really...

Tot: Uh-huh! =D

Ouka: What about Omi? Won't he be sad about that?

Nagi: Probably. But I really don't care.

Ouka: *magically grows to be thirty feet tall with the devil horns, and the redness, and the hell fires and all that stuff* WHAAAAAAAAAAADDID YOU SAY?!?! EVERYONE SHOULD CARE ABOUT *MY* OOOOOMMIIIIIII!!!!

Nagi + Tot: *cower in fear*

Ouka: *shrinks back to normal* *coughs* Sorry 'bout that.

Nagi: *shrugs* Meh. S'ok. I gotta leave anyway.

Tot: Tot has to leave too! Buh-bye! *blows Nagi a kiss and waves to Ouka*

[Exit Tot]

Nagi: *eyes turn into hearts... again* All miiiiiiiine.... all for meeeeeeeeeeee.... *floats himself off after Tot*

[Exit Nagi]

Ouka: *runs into center stage* MWAHAHA!!! OMI SHALL BE MIIIIIIIINE! Once I tell him that those two're eloping, he'll have NO CHOICE but to fall in love with MEEEEEEEE! *cackles madly* *runs around in circles* MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[Exit Ouka]

~Fin~

A/N: *coughs* Well, THAT was full of randomness! What will happen in scene two? Will it be as funny as this scene? Was THIS scene funny? Will I ever get to slash Crawford and Schu or is that not meant to be in this fic? WILL I EVER STOP ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS?!?!?!

The answers to those questions are all follows: Stuff, hopefully, I think so, probably, and no.

Special thanks to Yoko-chan for caring and actually reviewing ^^ Because she was so nice to me, she gets to appear later. Ever'body go ooh and aww. NOW! I COMMAND IT! *glares* *runs off*

---Gangsta Videl