Act Two, Scene One

A/N: I was having sooooo much fun writing this, like you have NO idea.

Schu: No, literally, they have NO IDEA.

Brad: ... in English, that means he read their minds.

Gangsta Videl: Hmmm... it seems as though my Weiß Kreuz minions finally found out I had a story up...

Brad: And we wouldn't've, if you hadn't thought about it.

Gangsta Videl: Why is that so confuzzling?

Schu: I know THAT ONE... ^_~

Gangsta Videl: It all makes sense now... you, knowledge, the fact that you can read minds.... YOU LOVE BRAD, DON'T YOU?! *points*

Schu: O.O

Brad: O.O

Random reviewers: YAAAAAAAAAY!!! YAOI! YAOI! YAOI! *cheer and throw random yaoi parties*

Gangsta Videl: *shakes her head sadly*

Schu: How... how did you find out... ?

Brad: O_o Wait, you mean she wasn't just guessing wildly? Then that means....*suddenly puts two and two together* *gets four* O_O! *faints*

Schu: NOOOOOOOOO!! BRADDIE!!!!! *dives and catches him as the theme from The Bodyguard starts playing in the background*

Gangsta Videl: *starts singing* And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I will a-a-always lo- o-o-ove you-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u!

Schu: ~_~ You're not helping.

Gangsta Videl: Maybe if you put on a tight little dress again, he'll wake up.

Schu: You think so?

Gansgta Videl: That or die of massive blood-loss through the nose.

Schu: ....

Gangsta Videl: WHAT?!?! It's the truth, dammit. Now... *walks over and pokes Brad* WAKEY WAKEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Brad: !! *jumps up* I'M AWAKE!! I'M AWAKE!

Gansgta Videl: Good. And now that you're awake, GO CHANGE INTO YOUR MINION- ESQUE UNIFORMS AND MEET ME IN THE ENDING AUTHOR'S NOTES!

Brad + Schu: *gulp in fear* *salute* Ma'am, yes, ma'am! *run off to change*

Gangsta Videl: *happy sigh* Ah, it's SO fun to be ME at times....

Disclaimer: I own nothing, dammit. Except for Brad and Schu's minion costumes, but all my minions have to wear them except for Chibi Goku and Ranma, because, well, Goku's too young and Ranma has that cold water thing. That had nothing to do with this story but OH WELL! A Midsummer Night's Dream is © William Shakespeare, the DEAD. If he tries to sue me for using it, damn, I want to know how he came back to life first! So THERE!

The cast for this chapter is as follows:

Botan playing Puck

Sakura playing Fairy

Yoji as Oberon

Neu as Titania

Omi playing Demetrius

Ouka playing Helena

Kase and Maki as members of Oberon's train

Yoko-chan and Yuriko as members of Titania's train

Mr. Rabbi as the boy (He has no lines... he's only mentioned, and I was running out of cast members ^^;;)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Scene: A wood near Athens.]

[Enter, from opposite sides, Sakura and Botan]

Botan: Hello there! *wave*

Sakura: ....I serve the fairy king and queen. The queen is coming soon, so, uh, I gotta go.

Botan: But you just got here! Besides, the king's coming later... plus, the queen's mad that the king stole the kid she stole from that Indian guy.

Sakura: I knew she was a thief...

Botan: What was that?

Sakura: O_o NOTHING! *whistles innocently*

Botan: Oh, okay. *starts humming and folding paper airplanes* *stops and looks around* Heeeeeeeeeey, lookie there! It's King Yojiron!

Sakura: King Yojiron... ?

Botan: *nods* Yeah. Yojiron. But people call him 'Yoji'. But he's still coming over here.

Sakura: Ooooh, okayyy.... hey, look! Queen Neu-ia's coming too!

Botan: .... Neu-ia?

Sakura: The authoress was too lazy to think up something more creative. And Queen Asuka didn't work well. But we all call her 'Neu'.

Botan: *nods* I see...

[Enter Yoji and his train from one side, and Neu and her train from the other]

Yoji: *walking around very dignified-like* *stops* *stares at Neu* Asukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Neu: Ick! *hides* I told you before! You stole the kid I stole from that Indian guy, so now I'm not even going to PRETEND I'm your old dead girlfriend!

Yoji: *starts to cry* But I'm the kiiiiiiiiiiiiing! You HAFTA be nice to the KING! *points to his shiny crown to prove that he is the king*

Neu: NO! *sticks her tongue out* And anyway, I'M the QUEEN! *points at her own shiny crown to prove that she is the queen*

Yoji: *frowns* Hmph! How'd you like it if I told Manx that you were in love with Persia?

Neu: I'd have to kill you.

Yoji: Well then, you have to stay with me or I'll tell Manx that you're trying to stop her from becoming the Duchess of Athens. And then she'll kick your ass. [Aside] Maybe I can even get them to mud wrestle over it... *laughs pervertedly*

Neu: .......why should I?!?! The Indian guy's wife told me to raise her kid, but the dad didn't like me, so I took him and was tryin' to raise him! That's all, I *SWEAR*!

Yoji: Of course. So... how long you gonna be in these woods, baby? *winks suggestively*

Neu: *snorts* Chauvinist pig. I will stay until after Persia and Manx get hitched, then... who the hell knows what after that.

Yoji: Oh, okay... hey! What's that thing you're hiding behind you?!

Neu: O_o Nothing! *shoves Mr. Rabbi into her bag* *whistles Dixie*

Yoji: IT'S THAT... THAT KID-TYPE-THING YOU STOLE FROM THE INDIAN GUY, ISN'T IT?!?!?!

Neu: Maaaaaaaaaaaybe...

Yoji: Give me the kid and you can go. *glowers threateningly* *suddenly remembers who he thinks Neu is* Asukaaaaaaaaaaa.... *drools*

Neu: *takes the opportunity to run off with Mr. Rabbi*

[Exit Neu, Mr. Rabbi, and Neu's train]

Yoji: Damn! I lost her agaaaaaaaaaaaaaain! ASUKAAAAAAAAAA! *starts bawling*

Botan: Oh, for the love of paper... *throws a paper airplane at Yoji*

Yoji: *gets hit in the head by said paper airplane* OW, DAMMIT! *takes the plane out of his hair* *reads it* *looks around* Botan! Where are you, Botan?

Botan: Over here.

Yoji: Oh. So you are... *coughs* Well, uh, do you remember when we were out listening to that thar siren sing?

Botan: No.

Yoji: *glares*

Botan: Er, I mean... YES.

Yoji: Good. Now, I want you to go back there, and---

Botan: Why?

Yoji: SHUDDUP, I'm gettin' to that. Anyway, you need to go and get the special purple flower of loooooove for me. *cackles evilly*

Botan: O_o All righty. I'll be back in ten.

[Exit Botan]

Yoji: *laughs maniacly* Once I have said flower of loooooove, I can use its juice to make a potion. And I can use that potion to make my dear sweet Asuuuuuuuka slash Neu-ia fall in love with whatever comes near her. Like... a deer, or a pig, or maybe even a monkey... MWAHAHA!! Oh, damn, someone's coming! *hides*

[Enter Omi, with Ouka following him]

Omi: For the last time, NO! I do NOT love you! I'm supposed to marry Tot, not YOU! You have a huge forehead, and nobody likes it! GO AWAAAAAAAAY!

Ouka: DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!!! *tackleglompmaimharmscratchclawkiss*

Omi: O______O

Ouka: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *cries*

Omi: WHY in the name of cheese do you LOVE me so much?!

Ouka: *shrugs* Why do you do things in the name of cheese?

Omi: -_-

Ouka: I don't know why, I just do, okay?! Why don't YOU love ME?!

Omi: OTHER than the fact that you have a giant forehead, whiny voice, and tend to stalk me twenty-four/seven?

Ouka: _

Omi: What, I was tellin' the truth. Plus, aren't you my sister?

Ouka: ....

Omi: That's what I thought.

Ouka: But Omi-saaaaaaaaaan! I feel all sad and sickly when you're not around! Isn't that a sign of loooooooooove?

Omi: Prob'ly. I wouldn't know. See, I DON'T LIKE YOU. And therefore, I do not care wether or not you die, or fall over, or if you turn into an elephant, or anything! The only way I'd ever love you is if by some strange coincidence the king of the fairies is hiding and watching us and uses the juice of a flower to MAKE me fall in love with you, so HA!

Ouka: _ Oooh, you get me so upset at times! Know what? I hope there really is a mischiveous little fairy-type person coming with that flower to give to the king to make you fall in love with me so you can understand how much you're hurting me right now!

Omi: Pbbt. Talk to the hand! *waves his hand in her face and walks off*

[Exit Omi]

Ouka: *gives him the finger as he leaves* Waaaaaaaah, my true love! *cries sadly*

[Exit Ouka]

Yoji: *comes out of hiding and laughs evilly, doing the Mr. Burns finger thing* Excellent... mwahahahaha....

[Re-enter Botan]

Yoji: Took you long enough! *glares* Didja find the flower? Didja? Didjadidjadidja?!

Botan: Yup! *puts the flower in a paper airplane and flies it over to Yoji* =D

Yoji: WOOHOO! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! *jumps up and catches the plane in midair, then hugs the flower to himself* When Asuka/Neu-ia goes to sleep tonight, I'll use this flower's juice to put her under a spell! Then, the next thing she sees when she wakes up--a.k.a., MOI---she will IMMEDIATELY fall in love with him! *swoons* I hope all you people appreciate my brilliance...

Botan: *reassures* I'm sure they do.

Yoji: ^^ OOH! Wait, I almost forgot!

Botan: Yeah, what is it?

Yoji: See, there's this cute little Athenian chick out here in the woods, and...

Botan: NO, I will NOT ask her out for you.

Yoji: *pouts* I AM married, ya know...

Botan: ... really?

Yoji: No. Not really. I can't back that one up. Sorry.

Botan: Oh.

Yoji: Anyway, she's in love with this blonde kid, about yay tall? Yeah, I need you to go put some juice on his eyes so he can love her as much as she loves him. *cackles evilly*

Botan: ~_~ You're a weird one, King Yojiron, but I shall do as ye please.

[Exeunt]

~Fin~

A/N: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Wasn't that fun? Hey, that reminds me.... MINIOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!

Brad + Schu: [from another room] *grunting noises*

Yaoi fans: *eyes turn into hearts*

Gangsta Videl: .... memo to self; keep scantily-clad minions away from each other....

Schu: [from within] Brad, there's no way it's gonna fit in the hole!

Brad: [from within] I'll make it fit, dammit! I will get in here if it's the last thing I do!

All yaoi fans: *eyes turn into hearts*

Gangsta Videl: .... Somebody get a fire hose, will ya?

Schu: [from within] No, Brad! It's too big! It won't fit! You can't do it! *moans* The hole is waaaaaay too small for you to do *that*!

Brad: [also from within] Dammit, Schu, don't tell me that it's too big! I got it in there before, didn't I? I can do it again! *more grunts and moaning*

Schu: [within] *whimpers* Braaaaaaaaad! You'll never get it in, and---*cut off as he starts moaning and grunting again*

Brad: [within] Almost... got it... all the way... inside... HA! *yells triumphantly* YESSS!! I KNEW I COULD DO IT!!

All Yaoi fans: *start vibrating* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI....

Gangsta Videl: ~_~ *grabs Ye Olde Fire Hose* Ever'body stand back!

Arisusa: *runs in* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!! BRADXSCHU! BRADXSCHU! *dances*

Gangsta Videl: And that, ladies and germs, was my sister. And this is me. Breaking down the door. With a spoon. *grabs a spoon and miraculously uses it to smash through the door*

All: O.O WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII!!!!

Schu: Ooof! *grunts* Braaaaaaad! I thought you said it was in all the way!

Brad: I guess your hole's smaller than I originally thought...

Gangsta Videl: O_o Oh for the love of.... SOMEBODY GET ME A CAMERA!

Brad + Schu: *inside the room in their minion uniforms {aka, tight black leather}, trying to piece together Gundam Wing action figures. Brad is currently trying to smush his Heavy Arms figurine's arm into the arm socket of Schuldig's Sandrock figurine*

Schu: Braaaaaaad! It's too big, dammit! The hole's WAY too small!

Brad: I CAN DO THIS! *smashsmushcrushfit* SUCCESS!! IT FITS! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yaoi fan girls: ....that was disappointing.

Arisusa: VERY.

Gangsta Videl: ....*coughs* Well... think of it this way. Schu loves Brad, and now both of them are wearing leather.

BradxSchu fans: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIII!! *victory dance*

Brad + Schu: *suddenly notice that there are hordes of fangirls watching them* O.O YEEK! *hide*

Gangsta Videl: *cackles* As always, leave your name, phone number, and review as you leave. Thank you!

Mechanic voice: The authoress is not responsible for any loss of sanity, brain cells, or blood due to the reading of this fic. Thank you. And review on your way out, dammit.

---Gangsta Videl + Co.