Act Three, Scene One

A/N: ^o^ Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, little brown jug how I love thee... ! XD I'll

probably die for this chapter, really. If anyone out there can remember the play,

they'll know why. And all the Nagi/Tot fans will, well... let's just say I'm glad I

still have that bombshelter o_O

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even the little brown jug that I love... v_v

The cast for this chapter is as follows:

Michiru playing Quince

Reiji Takatori as Snug

Ran Fujimiya playing Bottom

Aya-chan Fujimiya playing Flute

Ken Hidaka as Snout

Schoen playing Starveling

Botan playing Puck

Neu playing Titania

Schuldig as Peaseblossom

Brad Crawford playing Cobweb

Farfarello as Mustardseed

Birman playing Moth

O_o So many people.... x_x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Scene: The wood, with Neu sleeping nearby.]

[Enter Michiru, Reiji, Ran, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]

Ran: .... Is everyone here?

Michiru: I hope to God that everyone is... HEY! ANYBODY MISSING?!

*crickets chirp*

Michiru: --;; Damn crickets...

Ran: Hey, Michiru---

Michiru: *head suddenly becomes fifty times its normal size, and she gets fangs...

basically, the classic anime-big-headed-fanged-thing* WHAAAAT?!

All sans Ran: o.o *hide behind Ran*

Ran: *coughs*

Michiru: ... ? *blinks* Eh, heh, heh, heh... *head pops back to normal*

*sweatdrops* Yes'ums?

Reiji: *_*

Ran: --;; Shi-ne...

Michiru: *twitches* Aske ye olde questionne!

Ran; What's say we write a proglogue that says that I'm not really incestuous?

Better yet, let's put it down that I was FORCED to play the part of Pyramus, and

that sweet little Aya-chan was FORCED to play Thisby!

Michiru: -.- Nobody forced you guys to do this, yanno.

Ran: Says you...

Ken: o_O

Schoen: ... okaaaaaay.... ?

Michiru: ....

Ran: ...

Michiru: *stares*

Ran: *stares back*

Ken: *munches on popcorn and watches the staring contest*

Michiru: *eye starts watering*

Ran: .... *starestarestare*

Michiru: *staretwitchwaterstarestarewatertwitch*

Ran: *continues staring*

Schoen: *steals Ken's popcorn*

Ken: Heeeeeeee~ey! That's mine!

Schoen: *eats* Mine now... *eateateat*

Ken: ;_;

Schoen: ]

Michiru: o_ *falls over* GAH! All right, you win! We'll write you a freaking

prologue!

Ran: ^-^

Aya-chan: What if the ladies in the audience are afraid of the Tacky Tory lion?

Ran: *unsheathes sword* Then I'll KILL the lion...

Reiji: O.O *hides behind Schoen*

Ran: *evil grin*

Reiji: ;_;

Ken: ;_;

Schoen: ... weirdos... *goes back to eating Ken's popcorn*

Michiru: _ All right, we'll add another prologue that says he's just stupid old

Reiji, okay?!

Aya-chan: Couldn't he just introduce himself or something? Like say, "Be not

afraid, for I am Reiji"?

Michiru: Fine, fine, whatever... ~_~ I don't get paid enough for this...

Schoen: You don't get paid period.

Michiru: Oh yeah, rub it in ;_;

Ken: *thinks* Hey, um... if the two Ayas meet in the moonlight... How are we

supposed to get moonlight into the theatre?

Michiru: We'll use a freaking open window and pray to Kami that the moon's out.

Reiji: *whips out the Farmer's Almanac* Yep! It's gonna be a full moon that

night! Oh no!

Aya-chan: What's wrong? Rain?

Ran: Flood?

Michiru: Rabid beavers?

All: o.O;;;

Michiru: Er... nevermind... .;;;

Reiji: It says here that locusts will eat my cheesey bread ;_;

All: *anime fall/sweatdrop*

Schoen: I think my IQ just dropped twenty points for having heard that...

Ken: Mine, too.

Reiji: Um... how are we going to bring in that wall? Cuz, yanno, the Ayas are

supposed to talk through a hole in a wall.

Michiru: Props department.

Reiji: ....oh.

Michiru: And if that fails, we'll just have somebody play the wall. So is

everything settled?

All: *nod*

Michiru: All right then, let's start practicing! Aya-kun, I think you start.

Ran: ...fine...

[Enter Botan behind]

Botan: Oh Gawd, THIS is gonna be hilarious... Those idiots couldn't act out a play

if they were freaking Steven Spielberg! Now THIS I must see... and maybe help

'em with. Like... be an extra or something o.O

Michiru: Sometime today, Ran!

Ran: ~_~ *monotone* Oh Thisby dear, the flowers smell so odiously sweet---

Ken: Odorously.

Ran: *raises eyebrow* That's not a real word.

Schoen: Point?

Ran: ....Shi-ne. *coughs* *monotone again* ---odorously sweet: Speak to me,

my Thisby-chan dear. Harken---methinks I hear someone approaching. I shalt

return. [Exeunt]

Botan: *sweatdrops* If he's the guy they have playing Pyramus, then this play is

screwed... [Exeunt]

Aya-chan: *blinks* Where did oniichan go?

Michiru: God only knows... Anyway, you oughta do your lines now. Since, ya

know, you'll have to say them during the play.

Aya-chan: A-All right... *coughs* *overdramatically* Oh Pyramus, darling! Thou

art both snow white and rose red... o_O

Michiru: *shrugs*

Ken: Hee, hee, hee... rose red... *giggles*

Schoen: *smacks him with her whip* Down, boy.

Ken: *quiets down*

Aya-chan: Roight... *clears throat* As true as the truest soul, I shalt meet thee at

the ninny's tomb this night!

Reiji: No, it's NINNY'S tomb.

Aya-chan: Right---the ninny's tomb.

Reiji: No, no, no---Ninny's.

Aya-chan: Yep---The ninny's, I got it.

Reiji: *gives up*

Michiru: You're both wrong, it's "Ninus's tomb."

Aya-chan: .... Oh.

Michiru: *calls out* YO, RAN! YOU COME IN WHEN SHE SAYS "TRUEST

SOUL," GOT IT?!?!

*silence*

Michiru: I'm taking that as a 'yes'... Please continue, Aya-chan.

Aya-chan: Oh, okay---As true as the truest soul! I shalt meet thee at NINUS'S

tomb this night!

[Re-enter Botan, and Ran with a donkey's head]

Ran: I wish I were thine, dear, dear Thisby...

Schoen: *screams* *throws popcorn bucket at Ran* AAAAAAAARRRRRGH! I

WAS HOPING THAT FORTUNE COOKIE WOULDN'T COME TRUE!!!

''Beware the talking donkey" it said... Who knew it would be RIGHT?!?! *runs off

screaming*

Others: ... *scream and run off*

[Exeunt Michiru, Reiji, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]

Botan: *falls over laughing* I enjoyed that waaaaaaaay too much... *wipes tears

from eyes* *beeper goes off* Whoops... I was supposed to go meet the great

king over in our secret meeting spot... Better get going... [Exit]

Ran: ....SHI-NE! Stupid... why'd they all run away?

[Re-enter Ken]

Ken: Forgot my hat... (A/N: Shamelessly stolen from The Simpsons! XD...)

Ran: KEN!

Ken: o_O What the---Ran?! *stares* Wow, Ran, you've really let yourself go...

Ran: -_- Shi-ne.

Ken: ...or maybe you're still the same. Hee hee, you're a real ass now!

Ran: _ SHI-NE! YOU'RE the ass, not ME!

Ken: .... ;_;

[Exeunt Ken]

Ran: .... fool. *grabs Ken's hat and puts it on* XD

[Re-enter Michiru]

Michiru: *bows in front of Ran* I'm praying for your mortal soul, really I am...

[Exit]

Ran: ....wha-? Meh! *shrugs* Who needs 'em? Oh well... Now that they're gone, I

can SING! SING! SIIIIIIIIIIIING! *laughs*

*crickets chirp*

Ran: -_- Shi-ne, crickets. *sings* The ousel cock so black of hue; With orange-

tawny bill; The throstle with his note so true; The wren with little quill!

Neu: *waking up* WHO THE *&@# IS SINGING OVER THERE?!?!?!

Ran: ...Screw it, that song sucks. *sings* Doko nanoka wakaranai; Dare hitori

mienai... !

Neu: *grumbles* I'm surrounded, really... First King Cocky-pants, and now Mr.

Singasong. Great. Juuuuuuust GREAT.

Ran: *sings* Nani wo shite kita no ka; Kioku sae usurete... !

Neu: *jumps up* YO! WHO'S SINGIN' IN MAH WOODS?!

Ran: o.O That would be me, uh, ma'am.

Neu: *sees him* *eyes turn into hearts* (A/N: ... AHH! CREEPY! *jumps off a

bridge*) Now THAT'S a bishie!

Ran: o.o;;;

Neu: ^o^ You're as smart as you are handsome...

Ran: Thanks... I think .

Neu: For you, I have some presents! Or slaves, whatever you find least

offensive... YO! SLAVES! GET IN HERE!!!

[Enter Schuldig, Brad, Farfie, and Birman]

Schuldig: Yo.

Brad: Hn.

Farfie: ]

Birman: vv;;;

All: *monotone* What do you want, O great fairy Queen Neu, who art even more

beautiful than ex-model Schoen and the fair Athenian maids?

Neu: ... Damn straight I am. Anyway, see this guy right here? *wraps arm around

Ran*

Ran: O.O!!!

Neu: I want you to cater to his every freaking whim, got it?

Brad: ... *to Schu* Is it just me, or is that guy a *literal example* of a jackass?

Neu: *giant head w/ fangs + hellfire mode* WHAT DID YOU SAAAAY?!?!

Brad: I *SAID*, 'Gee, what a lovely... um... grass skirt you have, Schuldig'.

Schuldig: ^___^ I made it myself! *spins 'round and 'round*

Farfie: Spinning 'round and 'round hurts Go---*cut off*

Birman: *has hand over Farf's mouth* Say anything more, and I SWEAR, I will...

KIIIIIIIIIILL YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! (A/N: Tenchi Muyo-ish... )

Brad: .... *nods to Ran* Hn.

Schuldig: Heil!

Brad: o.o;;;

Schuldig: What? We're supposed to hail him, right?

Brad: Whatever you say, German ~_~

Schuldig: HEIL!

Brad: *half-arsed* Hail.

Birman: Hail.

Farfie: *bites Birman's hand*

Birman: OW! *pulls her bleeding hand away*

Farfie: *evil grin* Hail... *licks knife*

Ran: o.o;;; Okay, officially afraid now... *pokes at Brad* You, what's your name.

Brad: Brad Crawford.

Ran: Nice name.

Brad: I know.

Ran: x_x'

Brad: XD

Ran: ... roight... what about the Neo-Nazi over there?

Schuldig: _ I'M NOT A NEO-NAZI!!! And my name's Schuldig.

Ran: Okay then. What about the chick?

Birman: *slaps Ran across the face* THAT'S "MISS CHICK" TO YOU!!!

All: o.O;;;

Birman: Er... ^^;; My name's Birman...

Ran: *big red hand print on his donkey-head* Uh... and the last guy?

Farfie: Jei Farfarello. Call me 'Jei' and DIE ]

Ran: Noted!

Neu: HURT HIM AND DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *glomps onto Ran* ^______^

Come now, my foolish fairy slaves! We must go forth and RUIN KING

YOJIRON'S LIFE! *evil cackle*

Servants: Joy...

Ran: ;_; Help meeeeeeeeeeee.... !

[Exeunt]

~Fin~

A/N: XD Man oh MAN am I glad to have saved this puppy on a disk! XD So

happy... ^^; I have to upload on my cousin's computer, the oh-so-appropriately

named "Speedy", though... Oh well. At least I'm updating... XD ONWARDS TO

THE REVOO'ING!!!

Gangsta Videl