Act Three, Scene One
A/N: ^o^ Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, little brown jug how I love thee... ! XD I'll
probably die for this chapter, really. If anyone out there can remember the play,
they'll know why. And all the Nagi/Tot fans will, well... let's just say I'm glad I
still have that bombshelter o_O
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even the little brown jug that I love... v_v
The cast for this chapter is as follows:
Michiru playing Quince
Reiji Takatori as Snug
Ran Fujimiya playing Bottom
Aya-chan Fujimiya playing Flute
Ken Hidaka as Snout
Schoen playing Starveling
Botan playing Puck
Neu playing Titania
Schuldig as Peaseblossom
Brad Crawford playing Cobweb
Farfarello as Mustardseed
Birman playing Moth
O_o So many people.... x_x
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[Scene: The wood, with Neu sleeping nearby.]
[Enter Michiru, Reiji, Ran, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]
Ran: .... Is everyone here?
Michiru: I hope to God that everyone is... HEY! ANYBODY MISSING?!
*crickets chirp*
Michiru: --;; Damn crickets...
Ran: Hey, Michiru---
Michiru: *head suddenly becomes fifty times its normal size, and she gets fangs...
basically, the classic anime-big-headed-fanged-thing* WHAAAAT?!
All sans Ran: o.o *hide behind Ran*
Ran: *coughs*
Michiru: ... ? *blinks* Eh, heh, heh, heh... *head pops back to normal*
*sweatdrops* Yes'ums?
Reiji: *_*
Ran: --;; Shi-ne...
Michiru: *twitches* Aske ye olde questionne!
Ran; What's say we write a proglogue that says that I'm not really incestuous?
Better yet, let's put it down that I was FORCED to play the part of Pyramus, and
that sweet little Aya-chan was FORCED to play Thisby!
Michiru: -.- Nobody forced you guys to do this, yanno.
Ran: Says you...
Ken: o_O
Schoen: ... okaaaaaay.... ?
Michiru: ....
Ran: ...
Michiru: *stares*
Ran: *stares back*
Ken: *munches on popcorn and watches the staring contest*
Michiru: *eye starts watering*
Ran: .... *starestarestare*
Michiru: *staretwitchwaterstarestarewatertwitch*
Ran: *continues staring*
Schoen: *steals Ken's popcorn*
Ken: Heeeeeeee~ey! That's mine!
Schoen: *eats* Mine now... *eateateat*
Ken: ;_;
Schoen: ]
Michiru: o_ *falls over* GAH! All right, you win! We'll write you a freaking
prologue!
Ran: ^-^
Aya-chan: What if the ladies in the audience are afraid of the Tacky Tory lion?
Ran: *unsheathes sword* Then I'll KILL the lion...
Reiji: O.O *hides behind Schoen*
Ran: *evil grin*
Reiji: ;_;
Ken: ;_;
Schoen: ... weirdos... *goes back to eating Ken's popcorn*
Michiru: _ All right, we'll add another prologue that says he's just stupid old
Reiji, okay?!
Aya-chan: Couldn't he just introduce himself or something? Like say, "Be not
afraid, for I am Reiji"?
Michiru: Fine, fine, whatever... ~_~ I don't get paid enough for this...
Schoen: You don't get paid period.
Michiru: Oh yeah, rub it in ;_;
Ken: *thinks* Hey, um... if the two Ayas meet in the moonlight... How are we
supposed to get moonlight into the theatre?
Michiru: We'll use a freaking open window and pray to Kami that the moon's out.
Reiji: *whips out the Farmer's Almanac* Yep! It's gonna be a full moon that
night! Oh no!
Aya-chan: What's wrong? Rain?
Ran: Flood?
Michiru: Rabid beavers?
All: o.O;;;
Michiru: Er... nevermind... .;;;
Reiji: It says here that locusts will eat my cheesey bread ;_;
All: *anime fall/sweatdrop*
Schoen: I think my IQ just dropped twenty points for having heard that...
Ken: Mine, too.
Reiji: Um... how are we going to bring in that wall? Cuz, yanno, the Ayas are
supposed to talk through a hole in a wall.
Michiru: Props department.
Reiji: ....oh.
Michiru: And if that fails, we'll just have somebody play the wall. So is
everything settled?
All: *nod*
Michiru: All right then, let's start practicing! Aya-kun, I think you start.
Ran: ...fine...
[Enter Botan behind]
Botan: Oh Gawd, THIS is gonna be hilarious... Those idiots couldn't act out a play
if they were freaking Steven Spielberg! Now THIS I must see... and maybe help
'em with. Like... be an extra or something o.O
Michiru: Sometime today, Ran!
Ran: ~_~ *monotone* Oh Thisby dear, the flowers smell so odiously sweet---
Ken: Odorously.
Ran: *raises eyebrow* That's not a real word.
Schoen: Point?
Ran: ....Shi-ne. *coughs* *monotone again* ---odorously sweet: Speak to me,
my Thisby-chan dear. Harken---methinks I hear someone approaching. I shalt
return. [Exeunt]
Botan: *sweatdrops* If he's the guy they have playing Pyramus, then this play is
screwed... [Exeunt]
Aya-chan: *blinks* Where did oniichan go?
Michiru: God only knows... Anyway, you oughta do your lines now. Since, ya
know, you'll have to say them during the play.
Aya-chan: A-All right... *coughs* *overdramatically* Oh Pyramus, darling! Thou
art both snow white and rose red... o_O
Michiru: *shrugs*
Ken: Hee, hee, hee... rose red... *giggles*
Schoen: *smacks him with her whip* Down, boy.
Ken: *quiets down*
Aya-chan: Roight... *clears throat* As true as the truest soul, I shalt meet thee at
the ninny's tomb this night!
Reiji: No, it's NINNY'S tomb.
Aya-chan: Right---the ninny's tomb.
Reiji: No, no, no---Ninny's.
Aya-chan: Yep---The ninny's, I got it.
Reiji: *gives up*
Michiru: You're both wrong, it's "Ninus's tomb."
Aya-chan: .... Oh.
Michiru: *calls out* YO, RAN! YOU COME IN WHEN SHE SAYS "TRUEST
SOUL," GOT IT?!?!
*silence*
Michiru: I'm taking that as a 'yes'... Please continue, Aya-chan.
Aya-chan: Oh, okay---As true as the truest soul! I shalt meet thee at NINUS'S
tomb this night!
[Re-enter Botan, and Ran with a donkey's head]
Ran: I wish I were thine, dear, dear Thisby...
Schoen: *screams* *throws popcorn bucket at Ran* AAAAAAAARRRRRGH! I
WAS HOPING THAT FORTUNE COOKIE WOULDN'T COME TRUE!!!
''Beware the talking donkey" it said... Who knew it would be RIGHT?!?! *runs off
screaming*
Others: ... *scream and run off*
[Exeunt Michiru, Reiji, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]
Botan: *falls over laughing* I enjoyed that waaaaaaaay too much... *wipes tears
from eyes* *beeper goes off* Whoops... I was supposed to go meet the great
king over in our secret meeting spot... Better get going... [Exit]
Ran: ....SHI-NE! Stupid... why'd they all run away?
[Re-enter Ken]
Ken: Forgot my hat... (A/N: Shamelessly stolen from The Simpsons! XD...)
Ran: KEN!
Ken: o_O What the---Ran?! *stares* Wow, Ran, you've really let yourself go...
Ran: -_- Shi-ne.
Ken: ...or maybe you're still the same. Hee hee, you're a real ass now!
Ran: _ SHI-NE! YOU'RE the ass, not ME!
Ken: .... ;_;
[Exeunt Ken]
Ran: .... fool. *grabs Ken's hat and puts it on* XD
[Re-enter Michiru]
Michiru: *bows in front of Ran* I'm praying for your mortal soul, really I am...
[Exit]
Ran: ....wha-? Meh! *shrugs* Who needs 'em? Oh well... Now that they're gone, I
can SING! SING! SIIIIIIIIIIIING! *laughs*
*crickets chirp*
Ran: -_- Shi-ne, crickets. *sings* The ousel cock so black of hue; With orange-
tawny bill; The throstle with his note so true; The wren with little quill!
Neu: *waking up* WHO THE *&@# IS SINGING OVER THERE?!?!?!
Ran: ...Screw it, that song sucks. *sings* Doko nanoka wakaranai; Dare hitori
mienai... !
Neu: *grumbles* I'm surrounded, really... First King Cocky-pants, and now Mr.
Singasong. Great. Juuuuuuust GREAT.
Ran: *sings* Nani wo shite kita no ka; Kioku sae usurete... !
Neu: *jumps up* YO! WHO'S SINGIN' IN MAH WOODS?!
Ran: o.O That would be me, uh, ma'am.
Neu: *sees him* *eyes turn into hearts* (A/N: ... AHH! CREEPY! *jumps off a
bridge*) Now THAT'S a bishie!
Ran: o.o;;;
Neu: ^o^ You're as smart as you are handsome...
Ran: Thanks... I think .
Neu: For you, I have some presents! Or slaves, whatever you find least
offensive... YO! SLAVES! GET IN HERE!!!
[Enter Schuldig, Brad, Farfie, and Birman]
Schuldig: Yo.
Brad: Hn.
Farfie: ]
Birman: vv;;;
All: *monotone* What do you want, O great fairy Queen Neu, who art even more
beautiful than ex-model Schoen and the fair Athenian maids?
Neu: ... Damn straight I am. Anyway, see this guy right here? *wraps arm around
Ran*
Ran: O.O!!!
Neu: I want you to cater to his every freaking whim, got it?
Brad: ... *to Schu* Is it just me, or is that guy a *literal example* of a jackass?
Neu: *giant head w/ fangs + hellfire mode* WHAT DID YOU SAAAAY?!?!
Brad: I *SAID*, 'Gee, what a lovely... um... grass skirt you have, Schuldig'.
Schuldig: ^___^ I made it myself! *spins 'round and 'round*
Farfie: Spinning 'round and 'round hurts Go---*cut off*
Birman: *has hand over Farf's mouth* Say anything more, and I SWEAR, I will...
KIIIIIIIIIILL YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! (A/N: Tenchi Muyo-ish... )
Brad: .... *nods to Ran* Hn.
Schuldig: Heil!
Brad: o.o;;;
Schuldig: What? We're supposed to hail him, right?
Brad: Whatever you say, German ~_~
Schuldig: HEIL!
Brad: *half-arsed* Hail.
Birman: Hail.
Farfie: *bites Birman's hand*
Birman: OW! *pulls her bleeding hand away*
Farfie: *evil grin* Hail... *licks knife*
Ran: o.o;;; Okay, officially afraid now... *pokes at Brad* You, what's your name.
Brad: Brad Crawford.
Ran: Nice name.
Brad: I know.
Ran: x_x'
Brad: XD
Ran: ... roight... what about the Neo-Nazi over there?
Schuldig: _ I'M NOT A NEO-NAZI!!! And my name's Schuldig.
Ran: Okay then. What about the chick?
Birman: *slaps Ran across the face* THAT'S "MISS CHICK" TO YOU!!!
All: o.O;;;
Birman: Er... ^^;; My name's Birman...
Ran: *big red hand print on his donkey-head* Uh... and the last guy?
Farfie: Jei Farfarello. Call me 'Jei' and DIE ]
Ran: Noted!
Neu: HURT HIM AND DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *glomps onto Ran* ^______^
Come now, my foolish fairy slaves! We must go forth and RUIN KING
YOJIRON'S LIFE! *evil cackle*
Servants: Joy...
Ran: ;_; Help meeeeeeeeeeee.... !
[Exeunt]
~Fin~
A/N: XD Man oh MAN am I glad to have saved this puppy on a disk! XD So
happy... ^^; I have to upload on my cousin's computer, the oh-so-appropriately
named "Speedy", though... Oh well. At least I'm updating... XD ONWARDS TO
THE REVOO'ING!!!
Gangsta Videl
A/N: ^o^ Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, little brown jug how I love thee... ! XD I'll
probably die for this chapter, really. If anyone out there can remember the play,
they'll know why. And all the Nagi/Tot fans will, well... let's just say I'm glad I
still have that bombshelter o_O
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even the little brown jug that I love... v_v
The cast for this chapter is as follows:
Michiru playing Quince
Reiji Takatori as Snug
Ran Fujimiya playing Bottom
Aya-chan Fujimiya playing Flute
Ken Hidaka as Snout
Schoen playing Starveling
Botan playing Puck
Neu playing Titania
Schuldig as Peaseblossom
Brad Crawford playing Cobweb
Farfarello as Mustardseed
Birman playing Moth
O_o So many people.... x_x
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[Scene: The wood, with Neu sleeping nearby.]
[Enter Michiru, Reiji, Ran, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]
Ran: .... Is everyone here?
Michiru: I hope to God that everyone is... HEY! ANYBODY MISSING?!
*crickets chirp*
Michiru: --;; Damn crickets...
Ran: Hey, Michiru---
Michiru: *head suddenly becomes fifty times its normal size, and she gets fangs...
basically, the classic anime-big-headed-fanged-thing* WHAAAAT?!
All sans Ran: o.o *hide behind Ran*
Ran: *coughs*
Michiru: ... ? *blinks* Eh, heh, heh, heh... *head pops back to normal*
*sweatdrops* Yes'ums?
Reiji: *_*
Ran: --;; Shi-ne...
Michiru: *twitches* Aske ye olde questionne!
Ran; What's say we write a proglogue that says that I'm not really incestuous?
Better yet, let's put it down that I was FORCED to play the part of Pyramus, and
that sweet little Aya-chan was FORCED to play Thisby!
Michiru: -.- Nobody forced you guys to do this, yanno.
Ran: Says you...
Ken: o_O
Schoen: ... okaaaaaay.... ?
Michiru: ....
Ran: ...
Michiru: *stares*
Ran: *stares back*
Ken: *munches on popcorn and watches the staring contest*
Michiru: *eye starts watering*
Ran: .... *starestarestare*
Michiru: *staretwitchwaterstarestarewatertwitch*
Ran: *continues staring*
Schoen: *steals Ken's popcorn*
Ken: Heeeeeeee~ey! That's mine!
Schoen: *eats* Mine now... *eateateat*
Ken: ;_;
Schoen: ]
Michiru: o_ *falls over* GAH! All right, you win! We'll write you a freaking
prologue!
Ran: ^-^
Aya-chan: What if the ladies in the audience are afraid of the Tacky Tory lion?
Ran: *unsheathes sword* Then I'll KILL the lion...
Reiji: O.O *hides behind Schoen*
Ran: *evil grin*
Reiji: ;_;
Ken: ;_;
Schoen: ... weirdos... *goes back to eating Ken's popcorn*
Michiru: _ All right, we'll add another prologue that says he's just stupid old
Reiji, okay?!
Aya-chan: Couldn't he just introduce himself or something? Like say, "Be not
afraid, for I am Reiji"?
Michiru: Fine, fine, whatever... ~_~ I don't get paid enough for this...
Schoen: You don't get paid period.
Michiru: Oh yeah, rub it in ;_;
Ken: *thinks* Hey, um... if the two Ayas meet in the moonlight... How are we
supposed to get moonlight into the theatre?
Michiru: We'll use a freaking open window and pray to Kami that the moon's out.
Reiji: *whips out the Farmer's Almanac* Yep! It's gonna be a full moon that
night! Oh no!
Aya-chan: What's wrong? Rain?
Ran: Flood?
Michiru: Rabid beavers?
All: o.O;;;
Michiru: Er... nevermind... .;;;
Reiji: It says here that locusts will eat my cheesey bread ;_;
All: *anime fall/sweatdrop*
Schoen: I think my IQ just dropped twenty points for having heard that...
Ken: Mine, too.
Reiji: Um... how are we going to bring in that wall? Cuz, yanno, the Ayas are
supposed to talk through a hole in a wall.
Michiru: Props department.
Reiji: ....oh.
Michiru: And if that fails, we'll just have somebody play the wall. So is
everything settled?
All: *nod*
Michiru: All right then, let's start practicing! Aya-kun, I think you start.
Ran: ...fine...
[Enter Botan behind]
Botan: Oh Gawd, THIS is gonna be hilarious... Those idiots couldn't act out a play
if they were freaking Steven Spielberg! Now THIS I must see... and maybe help
'em with. Like... be an extra or something o.O
Michiru: Sometime today, Ran!
Ran: ~_~ *monotone* Oh Thisby dear, the flowers smell so odiously sweet---
Ken: Odorously.
Ran: *raises eyebrow* That's not a real word.
Schoen: Point?
Ran: ....Shi-ne. *coughs* *monotone again* ---odorously sweet: Speak to me,
my Thisby-chan dear. Harken---methinks I hear someone approaching. I shalt
return. [Exeunt]
Botan: *sweatdrops* If he's the guy they have playing Pyramus, then this play is
screwed... [Exeunt]
Aya-chan: *blinks* Where did oniichan go?
Michiru: God only knows... Anyway, you oughta do your lines now. Since, ya
know, you'll have to say them during the play.
Aya-chan: A-All right... *coughs* *overdramatically* Oh Pyramus, darling! Thou
art both snow white and rose red... o_O
Michiru: *shrugs*
Ken: Hee, hee, hee... rose red... *giggles*
Schoen: *smacks him with her whip* Down, boy.
Ken: *quiets down*
Aya-chan: Roight... *clears throat* As true as the truest soul, I shalt meet thee at
the ninny's tomb this night!
Reiji: No, it's NINNY'S tomb.
Aya-chan: Right---the ninny's tomb.
Reiji: No, no, no---Ninny's.
Aya-chan: Yep---The ninny's, I got it.
Reiji: *gives up*
Michiru: You're both wrong, it's "Ninus's tomb."
Aya-chan: .... Oh.
Michiru: *calls out* YO, RAN! YOU COME IN WHEN SHE SAYS "TRUEST
SOUL," GOT IT?!?!
*silence*
Michiru: I'm taking that as a 'yes'... Please continue, Aya-chan.
Aya-chan: Oh, okay---As true as the truest soul! I shalt meet thee at NINUS'S
tomb this night!
[Re-enter Botan, and Ran with a donkey's head]
Ran: I wish I were thine, dear, dear Thisby...
Schoen: *screams* *throws popcorn bucket at Ran* AAAAAAAARRRRRGH! I
WAS HOPING THAT FORTUNE COOKIE WOULDN'T COME TRUE!!!
''Beware the talking donkey" it said... Who knew it would be RIGHT?!?! *runs off
screaming*
Others: ... *scream and run off*
[Exeunt Michiru, Reiji, Aya-chan, Ken, and Schoen]
Botan: *falls over laughing* I enjoyed that waaaaaaaay too much... *wipes tears
from eyes* *beeper goes off* Whoops... I was supposed to go meet the great
king over in our secret meeting spot... Better get going... [Exit]
Ran: ....SHI-NE! Stupid... why'd they all run away?
[Re-enter Ken]
Ken: Forgot my hat... (A/N: Shamelessly stolen from The Simpsons! XD...)
Ran: KEN!
Ken: o_O What the---Ran?! *stares* Wow, Ran, you've really let yourself go...
Ran: -_- Shi-ne.
Ken: ...or maybe you're still the same. Hee hee, you're a real ass now!
Ran: _ SHI-NE! YOU'RE the ass, not ME!
Ken: .... ;_;
[Exeunt Ken]
Ran: .... fool. *grabs Ken's hat and puts it on* XD
[Re-enter Michiru]
Michiru: *bows in front of Ran* I'm praying for your mortal soul, really I am...
[Exit]
Ran: ....wha-? Meh! *shrugs* Who needs 'em? Oh well... Now that they're gone, I
can SING! SING! SIIIIIIIIIIIING! *laughs*
*crickets chirp*
Ran: -_- Shi-ne, crickets. *sings* The ousel cock so black of hue; With orange-
tawny bill; The throstle with his note so true; The wren with little quill!
Neu: *waking up* WHO THE *&@# IS SINGING OVER THERE?!?!?!
Ran: ...Screw it, that song sucks. *sings* Doko nanoka wakaranai; Dare hitori
mienai... !
Neu: *grumbles* I'm surrounded, really... First King Cocky-pants, and now Mr.
Singasong. Great. Juuuuuuust GREAT.
Ran: *sings* Nani wo shite kita no ka; Kioku sae usurete... !
Neu: *jumps up* YO! WHO'S SINGIN' IN MAH WOODS?!
Ran: o.O That would be me, uh, ma'am.
Neu: *sees him* *eyes turn into hearts* (A/N: ... AHH! CREEPY! *jumps off a
bridge*) Now THAT'S a bishie!
Ran: o.o;;;
Neu: ^o^ You're as smart as you are handsome...
Ran: Thanks... I think .
Neu: For you, I have some presents! Or slaves, whatever you find least
offensive... YO! SLAVES! GET IN HERE!!!
[Enter Schuldig, Brad, Farfie, and Birman]
Schuldig: Yo.
Brad: Hn.
Farfie: ]
Birman: vv;;;
All: *monotone* What do you want, O great fairy Queen Neu, who art even more
beautiful than ex-model Schoen and the fair Athenian maids?
Neu: ... Damn straight I am. Anyway, see this guy right here? *wraps arm around
Ran*
Ran: O.O!!!
Neu: I want you to cater to his every freaking whim, got it?
Brad: ... *to Schu* Is it just me, or is that guy a *literal example* of a jackass?
Neu: *giant head w/ fangs + hellfire mode* WHAT DID YOU SAAAAY?!?!
Brad: I *SAID*, 'Gee, what a lovely... um... grass skirt you have, Schuldig'.
Schuldig: ^___^ I made it myself! *spins 'round and 'round*
Farfie: Spinning 'round and 'round hurts Go---*cut off*
Birman: *has hand over Farf's mouth* Say anything more, and I SWEAR, I will...
KIIIIIIIIIILL YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! (A/N: Tenchi Muyo-ish... )
Brad: .... *nods to Ran* Hn.
Schuldig: Heil!
Brad: o.o;;;
Schuldig: What? We're supposed to hail him, right?
Brad: Whatever you say, German ~_~
Schuldig: HEIL!
Brad: *half-arsed* Hail.
Birman: Hail.
Farfie: *bites Birman's hand*
Birman: OW! *pulls her bleeding hand away*
Farfie: *evil grin* Hail... *licks knife*
Ran: o.o;;; Okay, officially afraid now... *pokes at Brad* You, what's your name.
Brad: Brad Crawford.
Ran: Nice name.
Brad: I know.
Ran: x_x'
Brad: XD
Ran: ... roight... what about the Neo-Nazi over there?
Schuldig: _ I'M NOT A NEO-NAZI!!! And my name's Schuldig.
Ran: Okay then. What about the chick?
Birman: *slaps Ran across the face* THAT'S "MISS CHICK" TO YOU!!!
All: o.O;;;
Birman: Er... ^^;; My name's Birman...
Ran: *big red hand print on his donkey-head* Uh... and the last guy?
Farfie: Jei Farfarello. Call me 'Jei' and DIE ]
Ran: Noted!
Neu: HURT HIM AND DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *glomps onto Ran* ^______^
Come now, my foolish fairy slaves! We must go forth and RUIN KING
YOJIRON'S LIFE! *evil cackle*
Servants: Joy...
Ran: ;_; Help meeeeeeeeeeee.... !
[Exeunt]
~Fin~
A/N: XD Man oh MAN am I glad to have saved this puppy on a disk! XD So
happy... ^^; I have to upload on my cousin's computer, the oh-so-appropriately
named "Speedy", though... Oh well. At least I'm updating... XD ONWARDS TO
THE REVOO'ING!!!
Gangsta Videl
