AM MODERATELY FREAKED OUT

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TUESDAY, 7th SEPTEMBER, 1999

9:27 PM

Ahhh, the Trinity Woman is here. Ordering me to get in the car.

9:28 PM

Ah, no! Have a chick with bleach blonde hair pointing a gun at me. Now she is hot. Trinity Woman is going on about how it's for their protection, from me. What could I do to them, ever? I couldn't hurt a fly even if I tried. Which I often do. Still, they always seem to avoid the rolled up newspaper.

Now I'm being asked to take off my shirt. What is the fascination with my chest?"

9:29 PM

Oh, dear. Trinity Woman is now pointing what looks like a giant corkscrew into me. Am wishing Blonde Chick would do it. Do not trust Trinity Woman.

9:30 PM

The bug thing evidently wasn't a dream. I can see it, the corkscrew thing is making it wriggle everywhere. I think none of this is actually happening. Soon I'll wake up in my apartment perfectly on time for work with a nice hot cup of coffee waiting to be drunk.

9:31 PM

The bug thing came out and got blended. Am going to have bellyache for weeks after that. Am moderately freaked out, but after I've dangled off a mile high ledge, had my mouth seal up for no reason at all, and have a psychic computer that takes drugs and reads Lewis Carrol, surgery in the back of a car is just a medium level of strangeness.

9:40 PM

Arrived at a dingy looking place. Rain pouring down. Is spoiling hair.

9:43 PM

Am standing outside door with Trinity Woman. She is talking about me being honest or else. Have noticed she actually is pretty hot. Though not nearly as much as Blonde Chick.

9:44 PM

Have walked into room and Morpheus Guy turns round just as lightning cracks. Morpheus Guy smiles this I-am-mental-I-eat-your-kids smile at me. Suddenly get feeling that I have no idea why I am in this situation. I got dragged to a club, got Trinity going on about a question, got suits chasing after me at work, got Mental Morpheus Guy dragging me off to the bridge, then Trinity dragging me off to see Mental Morpheus Guy who is smiling at me like a crocodile.

9:45 PM

Am sitting opposite Mental Morpheus Guy. Mental Morpheus Guy is talking about the Matrix, whatever it may be. I don't really give one what it is, but am nodding my head like I understand anything.

9:47 PM

Mental Morpheus Guy has stopped talking about the Matrix and is offering me a choice of two pill things. Apparently the blue one will make me wake up in my bed yet again, and the red one will make me go into a deep rabbit hole. They both sound pretty dodgy. I don't want drugs messing up my brain. I depend on my brain for a lot of things.

Still, Mental Morpheus Guy looks like he'd literally rip my throat out if I don't take one, so I suppose I might as well go with the red one. This is all probably a complicated dream anyway, so I might as well take the more interesting one. I mean, I've woken up about three times now...

9:50 PM

Mental Morpheus Guy drags me off to a room full of wires. I'm sick of being dragged everywhere. Have I lost all control of my life?

Evidently.

9:51 PM

Am sitting in a chair all wired up. Have just realised mirror on my left... I mean right. Mirror is cracked.

Oh. Mirror is now not cracked. Mirror went all liquidy and became good as new.

Wonder what it feels like?

9:52 PM

Uh oh. Just touched mirror and have cold liquid mirror going up my arm. Ooooh. C-c-c-c-c-cold.....

Oh, shit.... is going up my face. Bit more and it'll go in my mouth...

9:53 PM

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

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AN: OK, I know I'm going to get battered for giving Neo the hots for Switch. But I couldn't resist it! *Spawned from some fic where Neo says "Switch?" to the Oracle saying "I can see why she likes you."*