Chapter 18: For want of Tex-Mex

A/N~ Hehe. Funny chappie, Christy. But, why couldn't I just have both Aragorn and his clone? He looks better on me anyway! I just got back from a math contest...and I won $75! Whoo-hoo! Go me! *Grabs Aragorn and forces him to do the squirrel dance with me* Anyway, on with the fic.

A/N2~ Thank you, although I didn't really think it all that funny towards the end. Also, you are not worthy to have both Aragorn and Acorn! Oh, and even though it won't be 4th of July when you read this, happy Independence Day to our fellow Americans (And anyone else who wants to celebrate it)!

Disclaimer:

Me: J.R.R. Tolkien left me all of his characters in his will, therefore I own EVERYTHING! *cackles* Mwahahahahaha!

Aragorn: I thought you said he died before you were born.

Me: I did, and he did, but he was psychic and knew I was coming and put it in his will. *Looks around to see if either believes that*

Boromir: I don't think he was psychic, but I do think you're psycho.

Me: *grins* That's definitely true.

As soon as Stef and her clone were on their way, I wiped that fake smile off my face. "Who does she think she is?!" I screamed.

"As if I would let her take my man! Yeah, right! But I showed her. (No, you didn't...) She won't be messing with Vanessa T. Anymore."

"So I'm your man now?" Aragorn asked me, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Yes, yes you are," I retorted. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No."

I did a fangirl squeal and jumped into his arms. It was nice having a man who was bigger; I couldn't ever do this with Pippin!

"Are we ever going to finish our tour of the area?" Christy asked impatiently. Both her and Courtney were holding their hobbit's hands and, surprisingly enough, Kitty wasn't making out with Legolas. Instead, she was just standing there next to him. (I think she's broken...)

"Whatever," I replied, still in Aragorn's arms.

"See!" yelled Boromir excitedly. "I told you I heard that expression from them! I'm not crazy!"

"Umm...no, but you sound like a pansy when you say it though," Christy replied. "That's a saying used by mostly girls."

Boromir had a look of confusion. "'Pansy'? I don't follow."

"We'll tell you when you're older," I said.

"But I'm older than you!" he whined.

"Whatever," Courtney scoffed.

"There you go with that word again," Boromir said softly. (I think Boromir is so fun to make fun of. Sean Bean has a nice body, and all, but I think I'll choose Viggo over him.)

.~*~.

"I'm hungry," Pippin complained. "Courtney, can you tell them I'm hungry?"

"Guys," Courtney said, sounding exasperated. "Pippin's hungry. Come to think of it, so am I. Where are we eating tonight?"

"I vote for Mexican food," I put in. "I haven't had a decent Tex-Mex in ages! Is that alright with you guys?"

"OK with me," Christy answered. "Are you guys up for trying something new?"

They nodded. I whispered to Christy, "I think we should pick up some Bean-o for Gandalf, first. You know how old people are about spicy food."

Legolas obviously heard this, and looked at us sternly. "Are you implying that he has a gas problem?"

Christy looked at me. "We'll soon find out, won't we?"

Once we were at the restaurant, Kitty did a quick head count to make sure everyone was there. "11...12...Oh, I think we're missing someone. I only counted 12 people."

"Kitty, did you count yourself?" the Elf asked.

"I don't know. 11...12...13. Ha! It works. OK, we're all here."

Just then the waiter walked up. "How many people in your party, señorita?" he asked Kitty.

"It's señora," she retorted and showed her ring to him. "And there's 13 of us."

Estebon (the Mexican pimp! Inside 6th period Spanish joke), our waiter, looked a little put out by Kitty's engagement ring, but saw Courtney and smiled.

I leaned closer to Courtney. "I do believe our waiter has a crush on you!" I whispered.

She looked at him and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Eww! That's gross! He's about 50 years too old!"

"Just hold Pippin's hand and he'll get the clue," I said.

Estebon did, in fact, see this and rolled his eyes. "Do you want a table or a booth?"

"Booth," I answered. I know, I know my intentions were not selfless. I just wanted to be forced to sit closer to Strider. So sue me for wanting to be next to him. Honestly, can you blame me?!

Señor Estebon led us to an extremely large booth, which the hobbits got in. Frodo and Sam first on each side, followed by Merry and Pippin. Christy sat next to Merry and Courtney next to Pip. Boromir was next to Gimli, who was next to Gandalf, who was next to Court. I sat next to Aragorn, who was next to Legolas, who was next to Kitty, who was next to Christy.

Our waiter took our drink orders and gave us menus to look at.

"What are 'fag-eat-as'?" Sam asked. (We know, it's spelled 'fajitas')

"It's strips of meat, sizzled, then you wrap them in a tortilla. You can put avocados, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, just about anything wit them," I answered.

"Oh. But that still doesn't answer my question."

"How doesn't it answer it?" Christy asked him.

"What is it?"

"Meat."

"But-" he started, but was cut off by Christy.

"Look! Either you want them, or you don't! Now what's it gonna be?! Come on, I don't have all day!"

"I'll just have a taco," he said quietly, placing his menu at the head of the table, slowly, in defeat.

"You tell him, Christy," Maha said from the table next to us.

"What the frick are you doing here?!" I screamed. "And where is John? I never thought I'd see you without him."

"I think he's cheating on me," he answered, a tear forming in his eye, which he brushed away. "I found a pair of boxers in the room, which I know aren't mine or his."

"Ahh! Stop!" I yelled, covering my ears and closing my eyes tightly. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"Calm down, Nessie," Christy said to me. (NO! NO! NO! DO NOT CALM DOWN! KEEP YELLING! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!)

"How can I?! He's over there talking about- I can't even say it! Ack! Evilness! Anyway, you're one to talk about calming down. At least I don't yell at little hobbits about fajitas."

"Hey! Well, you have to admit, it was annoying."

Just then, Estebon came and took our order. It was one thing when he smiled and flashed his teeth at Kits and Court, but when it was my turn, it was GROSS! (I notice he doesn't even seem to look at me! Thank God I'm the ugly one!!! ^.^) (You had Haldir, in one of our fics, kiss you. I want a yucky man to hit on me! Except Haldir isn't old (Well, he actually is old, but he's an Elf, so he looks good old!) and yucky. Why can't I get an Elf to love?! Oh, because I have my Estel. He was brought up by Elves, close enough!)

"What can I get you miss?" he asked and flashed his pearly whites at me. (Please tell me none of you took that as anything other than his teeth.)

I kinda looked at him funny (That comes from having a funny-looking face...), but ordered my cheese enchiladas anyway. Estebon winked at me and left. When he left, the laughter, which I had bottled up inside of me, broke out. A 60 something yr. Old winking at a teen? That's not something you see very often. At least I hope not. Yrch. (Nessa, I corrected your age thing.)

Apparently I was laughing quite hard, because I began to snort, something I rarely do.

The food came, which was quite good for not being from Texas, the only true place to get Tex-Mex. Then, came the dreaded bill.

"Holy crap!" I stated, taking a look at the bill.

"Language..." Gimli grumbled. (Oh, go screw a cow! LOL! I'm hyper!)

"The frickin' bill is over $100!!" I whispered to everyone. "There's no way we can afford to pay this."

"We could sneak out," Kitty said.

"Uh...Kitty, have you ever seen 13 people sneak out of a restaurant unnoticed before? Even if you had, which I doubt, were they dressed funny and owed $123?!" Courtney asked.

"Well...no. But that's beside the point."

"Do you think we should just tell him that we can't pay?" Merry asked.

"No. I think we should try and sneak out," I said. "Besides, if they catch us, the only thing we might have to do is wash dishes."

So, one at a time, we quietly snuck out the side door. But Gimli, being the stupid dwarf that he is, said, "Do you think we should leave a tip?" One of the busboys then shouted, "They didn't pay!" and pointed at us.

"Crap! Run to the car!!" I shouted. A few of the waiters chased after us though.

Kitty was running the slowest as she was with child, so Legolas gracefully picked her up and made a sprint to the SUV, which we had waiting for them.

"Go. GO. GO!!" We yelled to Christy, who drove because she claims she drives the fastest.

As soon as we made it to the hotel we all let out a sigh of relief. We just had a free dinner!

"I'm still hungry," Pippin said from the backseat.

"Shut the--" I began. (She read my mind!)

"Language," Boromir interrupted. Stupid Gondorian Man always ruins my fun.

A/N~ Fluff. Pure fluff. But I don't care. Well, have fun with the next chappie, Christy!

A/N2~ Hey, sorry about the spacing if it's weird. My computer is nuts! Well, only 6 more chapters, then I'll get #5 up. Just remember to review and feed Vanessa's pet dragon, Aiden.