ORACLE MUST BE BAD COOK
____________________
SOME TIME AROUND 2199
11:57 AM
Am sitting in dentist chair thing having thing put in head. Why? I mean, it doesn't hurt, but feels weird.
11:58 AM
Everyone standing in Matrix around phone. We all look uber cool. Am beginning to actually like this...
11:59 AM
Am in back of car with Trinity. Morpheus driving, but if he doesn't keep his eyes on the road we'll crash, which would definitely NOT be uber cool.
12:00 PM
Hey! Just spotted familiar place. Some noodle place. I really will miss noodles.
Will confer with Trinity.
12:01 PM
Argh. Trinity confusing me. The Matrix cannot tell me who I am because I recognise some noodle place? Huh?
12:02 PM
Well, we're here. Leaving Trinity in the car in case of robbers.
12:04 PM
Standing in elevator with Morpheus. Am a little worried about Oracle person. She knows everything? In that case, why doesn't she just tell us how to destroy this Matrix thing?
Ohhhh dear. Morpheus just said he would find the One. I suppose that's me...
Damn.
12:05 PM
Standing outside Oracle's apartment. Apparently only I can walk through the door. Why? Do they have some sort of DNA scanner?
12:06 PM
Greeted by Oracle opening the door as I opened it. Whoa. She IS talented.
But not really what I was expecting.
12:07 PM
Am in room with lots of little bewitched children, levitating building blocks and bending spoons.
Think will talk to spoon boy.
12:08 PM
Spoon Boy v strange. Spoon Boy saying that I can't bend the spoon. I jolly well can bend the spoon. You take one end in one hand and the other end in the other hand and push your hands together...
Now he says there is no spoon at all. Is he a blind Spoon Boy?
Think will have go myself.
12:09 PM
Ooooooh. Am bending spoon with my miiiind. Coool.
12:10 PM
Spoon bending was interrupted by Oracle, saying that the Oracle would see me.... Hey! That means the Oracle isn't the Oracle!
Follow fake Oracle into kitchen.
12:11 PM
In kitchen. Am being talked to by woman facing away from me. Am wondering as to why she is facing away from me. Perhaps she was in a fire and all her skin melted, so she doesn't show her face to people.
12:12 PM
No, Oracle is now facing me, talking about something smelling nice. Cookies perhaps. They don't smell nice at all. They smell horribly burnt. Oracle must be bad cook.
So I wouldn't sit down, huh? I'd gladly sit down, actually. My legs are aching after all that... standing... in the elevator.
12:13 PM
Ooooops. Smashed Oracle's vase. Damn. She will not be too happy.
Still, if she hadn't said not to worry about it I wouldn't have turned round and - hey! That's strange.
12:14 PM
She said one of her kids would fix it. Either they are seriously adoring grandchildren or she's using child labour.
12:15 PM
So I'm cute? And who likes me? Switch? Who else could it be? Apart from Trinity.
Trinity? That's a serious possibility actually. Never thought about it before, but Trinity always does look at me weird. And that incident with the white drippy goo...
God.
12:16 PM
So I'm supposed to know I'm the One? But I don't. I know I'm not.
12:17 PM
So Oracle is a fortune teller... She asked me to say ahhhhhhh, and then read my palm. Hmmmm.
12:18 PM
I'm not the One.
I knew it! Haha! Morpheus'll finally leave me alone with his damn speeches! Well, I hope so.
12:19 PM
Ohhhh shit. This Oracle woman is evil. She says Morpheus is going to sacrifice himself, for me. Because he thinks I'm the One, even though I'm not.
Ah, but she also says I can save him. Ah goodie. Pity if I take that option, MY life goes down the drain.
12:20 PM
Oracle offering self cookie. Would decline because they are quite burnt, but I simply can't say no to cookies. Am addicted. Really.
12:32 PM
Back at place. Cookie starting to give self stomach ache. Damn.
Well, back to the Neb...
____________________
SOME TIME AROUND 2199
11:57 AM
Am sitting in dentist chair thing having thing put in head. Why? I mean, it doesn't hurt, but feels weird.
11:58 AM
Everyone standing in Matrix around phone. We all look uber cool. Am beginning to actually like this...
11:59 AM
Am in back of car with Trinity. Morpheus driving, but if he doesn't keep his eyes on the road we'll crash, which would definitely NOT be uber cool.
12:00 PM
Hey! Just spotted familiar place. Some noodle place. I really will miss noodles.
Will confer with Trinity.
12:01 PM
Argh. Trinity confusing me. The Matrix cannot tell me who I am because I recognise some noodle place? Huh?
12:02 PM
Well, we're here. Leaving Trinity in the car in case of robbers.
12:04 PM
Standing in elevator with Morpheus. Am a little worried about Oracle person. She knows everything? In that case, why doesn't she just tell us how to destroy this Matrix thing?
Ohhhh dear. Morpheus just said he would find the One. I suppose that's me...
Damn.
12:05 PM
Standing outside Oracle's apartment. Apparently only I can walk through the door. Why? Do they have some sort of DNA scanner?
12:06 PM
Greeted by Oracle opening the door as I opened it. Whoa. She IS talented.
But not really what I was expecting.
12:07 PM
Am in room with lots of little bewitched children, levitating building blocks and bending spoons.
Think will talk to spoon boy.
12:08 PM
Spoon Boy v strange. Spoon Boy saying that I can't bend the spoon. I jolly well can bend the spoon. You take one end in one hand and the other end in the other hand and push your hands together...
Now he says there is no spoon at all. Is he a blind Spoon Boy?
Think will have go myself.
12:09 PM
Ooooooh. Am bending spoon with my miiiind. Coool.
12:10 PM
Spoon bending was interrupted by Oracle, saying that the Oracle would see me.... Hey! That means the Oracle isn't the Oracle!
Follow fake Oracle into kitchen.
12:11 PM
In kitchen. Am being talked to by woman facing away from me. Am wondering as to why she is facing away from me. Perhaps she was in a fire and all her skin melted, so she doesn't show her face to people.
12:12 PM
No, Oracle is now facing me, talking about something smelling nice. Cookies perhaps. They don't smell nice at all. They smell horribly burnt. Oracle must be bad cook.
So I wouldn't sit down, huh? I'd gladly sit down, actually. My legs are aching after all that... standing... in the elevator.
12:13 PM
Ooooops. Smashed Oracle's vase. Damn. She will not be too happy.
Still, if she hadn't said not to worry about it I wouldn't have turned round and - hey! That's strange.
12:14 PM
She said one of her kids would fix it. Either they are seriously adoring grandchildren or she's using child labour.
12:15 PM
So I'm cute? And who likes me? Switch? Who else could it be? Apart from Trinity.
Trinity? That's a serious possibility actually. Never thought about it before, but Trinity always does look at me weird. And that incident with the white drippy goo...
God.
12:16 PM
So I'm supposed to know I'm the One? But I don't. I know I'm not.
12:17 PM
So Oracle is a fortune teller... She asked me to say ahhhhhhh, and then read my palm. Hmmmm.
12:18 PM
I'm not the One.
I knew it! Haha! Morpheus'll finally leave me alone with his damn speeches! Well, I hope so.
12:19 PM
Ohhhh shit. This Oracle woman is evil. She says Morpheus is going to sacrifice himself, for me. Because he thinks I'm the One, even though I'm not.
Ah, but she also says I can save him. Ah goodie. Pity if I take that option, MY life goes down the drain.
12:20 PM
Oracle offering self cookie. Would decline because they are quite burnt, but I simply can't say no to cookies. Am addicted. Really.
12:32 PM
Back at place. Cookie starting to give self stomach ache. Damn.
Well, back to the Neb...
