Chapter 23: Marriage and Chocolate Syrup

A/N~ Uh...to copy the media, "Subject content may not be acceptable for children." Now that that's outta the way the fun part.

Disclaimer:

Aragorn: *Runs past still holding Andúril* Priss!

Legolas *Runs after Aragorn still holding White Knives* At least I'm immortal! Petty human!

Me: See what I mean about this being pure entertainment?

The Rest of the Fellowship and Courtney: *Pull up more chairs and popcorn* Yeah! This is great!

Boromir: Where are Vanessa and Kitty?

Courtney: Having the same fight.

Boromir: But...I thought Kitty was a tomboy and, of course, Vanessa is a mortal. It makes no sense.

Me: They never make sense. Why should they start now?

Pippin: That's true!

Me: Oh, anyone wanna do the disclaimer?

Gandalf: I'll do it for my dear Vanessa!

Me: *looks scared* OK...

Gandalf: They do not own LotR, Moulin Rouge or chocolate syrup. They basically got the chocolate syrup idea from the Breegirls (Yes, that was a plug for them! ^.^). Enjoy!

Me: Thank you, Gandalf. That was quite nice.

"Uhhhhh," Kitty groaned. "What a night. And what a mess!" She eyed our room.

"You made it," Vanessa reminded her. Vanessa had come back about an hour earlier, after the men had woken her up, of course.

"I did?" Kitty asked, puzzled, if not confuzzled (I guess it's a mixture of 'confused' and 'puzzled'. Kitty thought it up.).

"Yes!" Courtney told her, holding up a broken CD case.

"Why?"

"Because you missed Stargate!" I replied. "And since you made the mess, you get to clean it up!"

"Won't anyone help me?" she inquired, using the puppy dog eyes.

"Maybe Legolas will..." Courtney started to tell her and Vanessa and I joined, "...because we won't!"

"Fine," she pouted and unhappily began cleaning.

.~*~.

Several hours later, Kitty came out of our room.

"It's clean. Are you happy?"

"Yes," Court replied and went back into it and came right back out. "It's noon and I'm hungry!"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Kitty agreed. "Let's eat!"

"Where?" Sam asked.

"I dunno. I guess we could eat at CiCi's again," I suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Vanessa agreed.

.~*~.

"Why is that restaurant closed with people in it?" Gandalf asked, confused.

"They saw us coming and remembered the last time we were here," Courtney said bluntly. "Come on, let's go find another one."

"Food..." Kitty and the hobbits moaned.

.~*~.

"Okay, now what do y'all want to do?" Court asked after we had all eaten.

There was a chorus of "I dunno's" given. I looked at Merry (always a good thing!) and an idea formed. (*Lightbulb clicks on*)

"I wanna go shopping!" I cried.

"No! No shopping!" Merry yelled.

"Not that kind of shopping- grocery shopping!" I clarified, looking at Vanessa, to see if she caught my drift.

She didn't.

"Ugh! I can't believe she didn't get it!" "Come on, let's go! I want some chocolate syrup!"

Vanessa's eyes lit up as she finally understood. "Whose turn is it to drive? Is it my turn?"

"Nessa, the store's not that far. Let's just walk," Kitty said, patting her stomach, thinking of all that food waiting for her.

.~*~.

We hadn't been walking for very long before we came upon a 'business girl'. (This Vanessa's idea is; kill me not! Hehe! Like Yoda I sound. ^.^) The chick was dressed very skimpily. At the sight of her, we all moved closer to our men. Then came the dreaded moment when she spoke.

"Hey, big boy. Would you like a private poetry reading? Or maybe some Dickens?" she asked, emphasizing the first syllable of the name.

Vanessa, Courtney, Kitty, and I were confused. Who was she talking to? We all had our hobbit/Elf/man next to us. We turned around and looked.

The woman had her arms around Gimli!

"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick!" Kitty groaned. That said it all; if Kitty couldn't take it, you know it was bad.

"Hey, Vanessa. Who does she look like to you?" I asked, wondering if she saw the resemblance too.

"Holy sh**! She looks like Arwench! Ugh! She's lucky she's not going after my HNSRWANB (Hott-'N'-Sexy-Ranger-With-A-Nice-Butt)! I'd have to kick her @$$!"

.~*~.

We finally managed to get Gimli away from the prostitute after 5 minutes of tug-of-war (We didn't want him back, but the boys said they still needed him for the Quest).

"Wow! She must have been desperate!" Court giggled.

"What did she mean by a 'private poetry reading' and 'some Dickens'?" Gimli asked, pronouncing it as she had.

"Umm..." I stammered, trying not to crack up and keep a straight face. "We'll tell you when you're older."

"But we're all older than you!" the Fellowship cried.

"Well, you'll have to wait longer then!" Vanessa said and ended the conversation. "Look! An Elvis impersonator! (I don't know if they have those in New Zealand, but for the sake of the story, there is one. Also, I'm sorry for this part. I really like the idea Vanessa and I had, but I do have my scruples, maybe not very many, but I do have them. Therefore is part may seem corny/stupid, but deal with it!)"

"Oh! Let's go get married!" Merry exclaimed and drew some weird looks.

"Isn't this a bit sudden?" Courtney asked.

"No. He asked me a while ago. And y'all thought all we did was make out! Let's go. Oh, wait. We, at least, need some rings, a best man, and a maid of honor. Does anyone have some rings we could borrow?"

"Here, use this," Aragorn nobly lent us his and Court gave us one of hers.

"Who's the best man and maid of honor?" Kitty asked as we headed to Elvis's church.

"Well, my best friend is Vanessa," I said.

"OK, we have the best man then," Kitty joked and ran behind Legolas as Aragorn held Vanessa back. "Just joking! Hehe!" She grinned.

"And the best man is Pippin, because he's Merry's best friend. The rest of you are bridesmaids and groomsmen."

"Awesome!" Gandalf cheered. "But I don't have a thing to wear!"

"Pansy!" Vanessa muttered.

.~*~.

"...I now pronounce you husband and wife," Bob, the Elvis impersonator, announced. "You may kiss the bride."

Merry and I took the man at his word.

"Hey! Break it up! I want my chocolate syrup!" Vanessa demanded, reminding me of the whole purpose of the walk.

"Let's go get it then! And some cherries and some whipped cream!" I was really getting into it, considering that it was now my 'honeymoon'. Kitty was just foaming at the mouth at the thought of all the food the grocery store had to offer.

"Let's get moving!" she demanded.

.~*~.

"And what exactly is this chocolate syrup for?" Aragorn asked Vanessa when we made it back to the hotel. The return trip was uneventful (translation: no prostitute) and that was fine with us!

"You'll find out later," she whispered back. "Take that Arwench!"

"OK, um... could we re-arrange the sleeping quarters tonight?" I asked once the food was all put away.

"Why?" Frodo asked, clueless.

I rolled my eyes. "Would someone please explain the finer (and more fun) points of the honeymoon/wedding night to him?"

Boromir saw his chance to explain something to someone and whispered what it meant to Frodo, whose face when beet red. "Ohhhhhhhh!!! No! I like my bed! I don't want anything to happen to my precious!!"

"OoooooKkkkk! Freak! I'm not gonna say it! I'm not gonna say it!"

"Say it," Gimli prompted.

"No. I have no desire to share what I am thinking."

"Why won't you say it?" Kitty asked.

"Because it's not 'G' and you'd slap me."

"OK, good reason!" Legolas re-affirmed my belief in his wife's violent nature.

(I really did have something I was gonna write, but I forgot what it was the next time I got a chance to write, so I put that. All I remembered was that it wasn't 'G'.)

"Anyhoo, since Frodo doesn't want anything to happen to his 'precious', and I still have some money (Yeah, right! I'm so poor, I don't think I could afford any of the stuff we do in this fic! But it's fiction, so it's allowed.), Merry and I will get our own room for the night!" At their shocked faces, I added. "Besides, I want a Jacuzzi! (^.^)"

"Oh, OK," Court said, and motioned for us to leave, which we did taking our food and luggage with us.

I dunno about Vanessa, but that night I think I visited heaven! (hehehe!)

A/N~ OK, bad. I know. You don't have to tell me that. It didn't turn out the way I planned it, but that's OK. The end sucked cuz Nessa was all "Give me the spiral!!!! Grrr! (She went into attack hobbit mode! ^.^)", but that's OK. Now to take a line, and twist it, here goes. You know that yellow fish in the tank (I've personally never seen the movie, but we have Disney, so...) that freaks out when the little treasure chest is opened and he swims over yelling 'Bubbles!' then he closes the chest and hugs it and says 'My bubbles'? Yeah, that's what I'm ripping off. *Opens inbox* Reviews!!!! *Looks to see if Vanessa is there, she is and is coming after the reviews* MY reviews!!!! Hehehe! Just review, before I add more quotes! And sadly enough there is only one more chapter after this one! *Cries*