34.

Australia

10am

Scully walked down the corridor to #1's office with a spring in her step. Her lover had been released from his charges and nothing could spoil that for her, nothing. All she needed now was to go home but she doubted that it would be allowed. The clones would be ready for implantation within an hour. Perhaps after the birth of one she could broach the subject of leaving. Maybe she would mention it today. After all it had been two months and ten days. She couldn't really stand being away from her loved ones anymore. They should be celebrating together and not having separate times of joy.

She had done exactly what they had asked from her; she had created clones. They might be failing. She had solved that problem despite creating another. One more batch that was it. She needed to be in America. Her time as Dr Scully was coming to a close.

Softly she tapped on #1's door with her knuckles.

"Yes." Scully nervously stuck her head around the door.

"Hi" she swallowed hard before entering the room fully "You wanted to see me?"

"Two hours ago!"

"Sorry, it was the trial sentencing."

"Ok, how are the clones coming along?"

"I'm hoping the latest batch will prove successful. I mean their blood intake shall be altered. I'm now using everything that is Zigoran. I'm hoping this will be it, the perfect batch… There is something I wish to discuss with you, if I may?" Scully bit her lip nervously.

"You want to go home." #1 said reading Scully's thoughts almost as if she had spoken the words to him.

"Yes. Much as I've enjoyed this research project I realised this morning, whilst watching the trial, how much I am needed at home. Is there any possibility of my going home soon?"

#1 seemed to take an eternity to consider her request. No one had ever mentioned a timeframe for Scully's activities and now the decision had to be made. She couldn't enforce it only he could. Didn't she deserve to be re-united with her family?

"Three pregnancies and you can go. I want healthy, perfect clones to be born." Scully nodded as the realisation she could go home in two weeks, if she timed it right, washed over her. She smiled happily and left the office closing the door behind her.

Running to her room, after making sure her door was shut she sat down on the bed. She knew for a fact the Zigoran couldn't read thoughts through doors or walls. Although 3791 had told her that, Scully chose to believe it. Ever since the day at the beach they had become 'friends.'  She told 3791 about Cassandra in return for knowledge about the Zigoran. The Zigoran had to be in the same room to read someone's mind. Apparently walls shut out their telepathy. A beneficial titbit Scully was pleased to know about. Now to keep her mind clear of any thoughts but those of Mulder and Samantha, it wouldn't be that hard, surely?

How could she make the clones healthy when she had made every future egg except one allergic to oxygen! Darn. She'd have to blame the Zigoran tissues or something. Perhaps that would make them go back to their home planet or keep her with them for longer.

Taking a deep breath she thought about Mulder and headed back to the lab imagining his face when she finally went home to him and Samantha. To kiss those lips for the first time in months would be the best thing in the world, right then, and she was looking forward to it.

2865 was first in line for the new cloned foetus. She was as ready as the previous Mother's. Scully watched as 2865's face paled while she completed the procedure. It looked and probably was the most excruciating thing for them to go through. All for the good of the colony and the new breed, the better clones. Hopefully these clones would work. Scully thought, they had to.

Running the ultrasound scanner across 2865's belly Scully detected the heartbeat from the newly implanted clone. The clone kicked wildly and appeared to wave at them from the monitor. 2865 waved back with her fingertips. She grinned at Scully who feigned a happy smile. She just wanted to go home and be with her family.

"Soon." 2865 said softly "you'll be with your family soon." Scully half-smiled she didn't want to think about it just then. It was bad enough being away from them during the trial but now it was over she just wanted for them to be able to try to be a family. The family they had never quite managed to ever be and maybe, just maybe, they could get William back. He may be seven years old and spent relatively all of his life with the new family but it still didn't stop her wanting him back. No matter how long William was away from her Scully knew she would always want him with her no matter what.

The adoption had never been finalised. She hadn't signed the final documents because Mulder had taken her on the run and after that she had been in court. William would have been in limbo. She knew they loved him, having seen them all together. It didn't stop her heart aching right to the very core. She wanted to hold her son, her little boy.

She couldn't help thinking about what she had to do when she got home. Mentally Scully formed a list in her mind. Firstly, get the chip removed and tested. Secondly get the ulcer checked by a reputable Doctor. Then get back on track with Mulder. The essential would be to spend time with Samantha and perhaps think about trying to get William back. Scully didn't think she had a snowball in hell's chance but perhaps she could find out. Scratch that. They could find out, as a family, if there was any chance at all. Eight years ago she had been pregnant with him. She had to beg Skinner to trace him just for some inkling of how he had been doing. Every day she carried the guilt of giving him away. Closing her eyes, Scully, wished time would turn back to that moment she had finally given him up. For all of her heart she would change that decision.  Scully was so immersed in her thoughts she didn't notice the stray tear run down her face. She could see the office of the adoption agency so clearly…

*Flashback*

October 15th 2001.

William was settled in his car seat. He was unaware of anything being wrong with the day. He'd had the grizzles the night before but this morning he was 'perfect' it caused a pang in Scully's heart. Was she doing the right thing? How could anyone give away their baby like this? How could she? William was the child she had longed for her whole adult life. She had turned down both Daniel and Jack's offers to make her a Mom. They knew her desires, as did Mulder when it came to be his turn in the potential Father role. He'd been different.

She'd approached him. How awful it had been. It wasn't as if you could slip the 'will you be a sperm donor for me?' into a conversation. In the end it hadn't worked out with the in vitro-fertilisation. Natural concept, on the other hand, did. All that money they had spent on trying and one night had done the trick.

What was she doing sat in the office of someone who was going to take William from her. She didn't want to meet his new parents. The pain of giving him up was enough as it was. She was in tatters. No Mulder, no support and soon enough there would be no baby for her to cradle in her arms. She was an emotional train-wreck. If she could just ignore the fear that Spender had put into her head it would all be okay. The office was quiet except for her and William. The woman, Sarah Maitland, was in another room with another client. Scully looked at William and traced his soft face with her fingertips. He stirred before gripping her fingers for what would be the last time.

Standing up with the car seat awkwardly balanced against her chest because of William's grasp Scully headed for the door. As she did the secondary entrance to the room opened.

"Miss Scully? I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." Scully turned on her heel the emotional turmoil decorating her face with tear tracks and frown lines.

She was offered a seat, away from the formality of the main desk, with a low table that she placed William upon.

"I… Uh…. I..." Scully found she couldn't speak it was too hard to form the words she desperately wanted to say.


"I know it is hard to let go. Are you sure about this? It is not too late if you wanted to change your mind."

"I can't. I have no other option but to give William to people who can offer him the best in everything. This is for him, not for me. I have made this choice with a heavy heart. I so want to keep him but it will be for the best. He will be cared for properly, won't he?"

"Of course. I know this is the hardest thing but there are some papers for you to sign today." Scully nodded and patiently waited for Sarah to bring them over to her.

Sarah was about forty-five with shoulder length mousy brown hair. She had a medium build and a definite five feet six in height. Her clothes were smart-casual. She wore a caramel polo neck sweater with black trousers. Her jewellery was minimal and professional. Scully wondered what she thought about the Mother's who gave away their children, or fathers for that matter. She would never ask. She couldn't for it reflected upon her.

She had already had her mother's views on this. They weren't the nicest thing to hear and had cut right to the bone. Of course, she had been right, she regretted the decision but knew she had to follow it through to the bitter end.

Scully signed all of the relevant papers with the heavy flicking of a pen. She really didn't want to do it. She had no real choice. She, alone, couldn't protect William. Even if Mulder were there she doubted that they would be able to protect their son. It was best for him to be someone that was almost nobody. An insignificant that the Aliens wouldn't be chasing after.

"I have this for him… when he is older. It's just a letter. Would it be possible for his new parents to give it to him when he is old enough to understand?" Scully almost choked on the words. Sarah took the letter nodding.

Tenderly Scully bent over William's car seat and kissed his cheeks, forehead and finally one kiss to his lips. He began to stir awkwardly and she knew it meant tears. Taking his tiny hand in hers she soothed him by stroking the back of his hand with her thumb. She didn't want to go but it was now or never. She looked up at Sarah who was watching the scene. Both women knew this was not easy but now it was inevitable. William returned to his sleep and Scully straightened up.

"There is a fresh bottle, diapers and clothes in his change bag." She said fighting her tears. She had to leave now. Sarah was guiding her towards the door Scully looked over her shoulder the whole time. Another woman went into the office as Sarah guided Scully away from the office. The door had closed and she could no longer see her son sleeping peacefully in his car seat. Scully couldn't take it. She could hear herself saying that she shouldn't have done it. She really did want him but she couldn't keep him. It wasn't making sense. She wasn't making sense through her anguish.

Twenty minutes later.

Scully had reached her apartment building and somehow found her way home. She didn't remember the drive home or getting into the elevator. She only knew she was crying. As she closed the front door she fell down to the floor the emotions poured from her in a long, painful cry. She lay there frozen to the spot unable to move. Every tear scorched her face. A tidal wave of grief broke free from its restraint within her. In that moment she grieved for Mulder, for William and for herself. Never again would her life be the same. Never again would she give her heart to anyone.

She didn't know how she managed it but she crawled to the phone. Blindly she punched in a number, any number, as long as someone answered. With phone in hand she listened to the age-old message of Mulder's cell phone answer service. The phone was buried in a box in her closet somewhere. She hung up, fresh tears streamed down her pale cheeks.

Hearing a baby cry she headed for William's room singing Jeremiah was a bullfrog through her hiccups. Opening the door the scent of William drifted to her reminding Scully exactly what she had half signed away. It was then that her heart finally cracked and broke in two. She managed to stagger to his crib and fall down beside it pulling his blanket against her cheek she rocked herself to and fro. With one hand she held his blanket to her and with the other she dialled the phone again.

"Monica Reyes." All Monica could hear were the sharp gasps for breath and the tumbling of anguished tears from Scully followed through with chilling cries. "I'm on my way, Dana."