Disclaimer: I don't own them, if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfics. *evil grin*
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' Thoughts '
" Spoken "
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Isa: Thanks to Omi-chan who kept pushing me to finish, Chibi who beta-read this chapter since my bet-reader is in Japan and to kami-chan. Even though you weren't here (seeing you are having all that fun in Japan) I knew you would have wanted me to work on my stories, and you are still the BEST beta reader! *bounces*
Schu: And to me! For being a great muse.
Isa: *sweat drops* That's debatable…
Schu: *sighs* No respect.
*
Encounters
He didn't know where he was going; all he knew was that his instinct told him to run. Run as far away as he could from that house and the people within it. To run from the group that controlled him, from the people that commanded him. All he could think of was that, well that and running from her. That damned woman, the one who he had believed in and trusted in. She had found him and it was she who had brought him into this world of assassination. At the time, it was perfect, even easy. He would work for them and they, in return, would help him get the revenge that he had been seeking. But now, none of it made sense, everything that he had once thought of as perfect no longer added up. He couldn't remember anything of the past few years, and he desperately wanted to. As he ran only one thought dominated over all others, he had to get as far away from all of them as he could.
Ran was vaguely aware of the curses that were shouted at him as he pushed past the multitude of people going home from work for the day. It was too much for him, all of this… normality. None of them could sympathize with him; no one in this mass of humans could feel what he felt. How could they know what it was like to live as he did, live to kill at your master's command like some well-trained circus animal? Then it hit him, he wasn't one of them anymore, and he wasn't human. Ran was someone's property; he was owned and controlled by his master. All Persia was, all Kritiker ever would be was some fucked up ring, bent on controlling their property. Ran wasn't free. He was just made to believe that so he would feel content, so he wouldn't fight the chains that bound him to these people.
That thought made him sick, the heat of the bodies around him making him even more so. The redhead couldn't help it as he closed his eyes, blindly pushing through the crowd. It was too much too fast and too soon, it was all he could see and all he could smell. People were everywhere and he felt suffocated, much like a wolf trapped in the hunter's snare. He continued to fight, blindly, against the press of flesh against his own skin. All he needed was to break from it, that one moment that he didn't feel trapped, and then he could run. Suddenly it came, and he took the opening without a second thought, bolting down the alley. So intent was he in getting away from the throng behind him, he never saw the alley door propped open. Slamming into the obstacle, the redhead fell back, his shoulder connecting roughly with the uneven ground below him.
He didn't know how long he had lain there, watching as the blood slowly dripped to the ground from the gash in his forehead. Sure, it was his own damned fault that he was injured now. I mean really, what kind of assassin was so out of it that he ran head first into an open metal door? 'Obviously me,' was the first thought that came to him as he pushed himself up, wincing as he did so. 'Wonderful, I think I fucked up my shoulder too…' Sighing, Ran stood, cradling his left arm tenderly. 'Magnificent, now I'm going to go back home and they are going to ask what happened.' However, one word in that thought had surprised him. When had he begun to think of that place as home?
Making his way out of the alley and back towards the flower shop, he ignored the looks from the people around him. It didn't matter what any of them thought. All they saw was a damaged boy; they didn't see the murderer below the surface. If they could, he knew they wouldn't give him those pity filled looks. No, if they only knew what he had done they would see Ran for what he really was, a monster. Something to be feared; never to be loved. He had become the demon they dreaded and the terror that haunted them at night. Ran was their death, and you never played with death.
"Ran?" The crimson haired assassin kept walking, his mind so wrapped up in thought he had never heard the man call out to him. "Ran, wait up!"
A hand on his shoulder made him hiss in pain, pulling his injured self away from the unwanted touch. Ran turned, ready to snap at the individual who dared to touch him but paused. 'How did he… What is he doing here?'
A slight frown marred tanned features as the dark haired assassin shook his head. He might not know what was going with Ran, but he could tell the younger man was not himself. Ran wasn't the awkward type, but he wasn't helpless either. 'There is only two ways Ran could have gotten hurt. Either someone recognized him, got a group of people together and attacked him.' He thought. 'Or Ran has done this to himself.' The man decided, watching as violet eyes went from confusion to recollection, finally settling on a calming gaze. "What happened to you?" Flushing slightly, the crimson haired assassin mumbled a few words, looking down at the ground. "Huh?"
"I ran into a door." The man laughed then, doubling over. People that walked near the two men standing there either smiled or gave the man an odd look. "You can stop laughing now." Ran grumbled, shifting his shoulder slightly while his friend continued to snicker at what he had said. "Kikyou!"
Looking up, he wiped his cheek with a sleeve and smiled. "I'm sorry." He then said, still smirking. "It's just… the great Fujimiya ran into a door." Those words set the man off into a fit of laughter once again; the annoyed redhead simply started walking off. "Whoa, hold on a minute!" He yelled, reaching for the hot-tempered assassins good arm and pulling him to a stop. "I'm sorry, are you ok?"
"My shoulder," he answered. "I think I injured it."
Kikyou nodded, slipping his hand into Ran's own. "The place I am staying at is only a few blocks from here." He said, tugging him gently in said direction. "Come home with me Ran, I'll take care of you." Thinking over the offer for a moment, he nodded, allowing the older man to lead him away. Anyway, this was Kikyou, his old team member. What harm would come from accepting his help?
*
Walking out of the bathroom, Ran made his way over to the bed in his ex-teammates bedroom and picked up the sweats. Pulling them on, he then grabbed the shirt and tugged it on as well. As he had thought, it was a bit big for him, but it was only for now until his clothes were done washing. After Kikyou had checked his shoulder and cleaned the cut on his forehead, he had made the redhead take a shower. 'He was right; the hot water did help my shoulder. I'm just glad it wasn't seriously damaged. I've already fucked up once, doing it again wouldn't be a wise idea at the moment.' Running the towel though his hair once again, he opened the door and walked out of the bedroom.
Suddenly the smell of cooking food drifting though the small apartment reminded the assassin of how hungry he really was. Now that Ran thought about it, he hadn't eaten since early this morning and it was now almost evening. Making his way into the kitchen, the redhead smiled at the man within standing by the stove. "What is that look for?" Kikyou asked, putting the lid back on the pot.
"No reason." He answered. "I just remember you like this, always taking care of everyone else." Kikyou frowned, causing his ex-teammate to walk over to him. "Did I say something wrong?"
Blinking, he smiled then shook his head. "No," Kikyou answered, seeming to think the question over a moment longer. "It's just that there is no one for me to take care of anymore." He saw the redhead nod, taking the seat across from him. "I had you, Shion and the others. Everyone is gone Ran, it's only you and I now." He laughed softly, resting his head against his palm. "I don't even have you anymore, this new group that you are with takes care of you now."
Ran leaned back in the seat, his head resting against the wall behind him. "I don't know if you would call it -taking care-, it's more along the lines of -putting up with-." The gentle touch on Ran's hand startled him as the man across from him threaded their fingers together. Ran sat there, silent and confused for a moment until one thought overrode them all. Glancing back to Kikyou, Ran couldn't help the frown that crossed his features. "Manx still believes that you are the one who killed our team. Either that, or it is Persia who thought up that crazy idea."
"It's not crazy, it's logical."
Violet eyes met the dark of Kikyou's, confused at the comment. "Are you says she's right?" He snapped, not ready to believe for a moment that was what he meant. The older man shook his head, standing to go back over to the food that was cooking. "Then what was that comment for?" He asked.
"We both know Kritiker isn't the best at solving problems, we are their problem solvers. I believe that Manx is running by logic, and the circumstances that surrounded our fall." Glancing back at Ran, he smiled. "I really am the main suspect, my team is killed, and I disappear? It looks suspicious to them, and that is why I'm getting all the finger pointing."
That did make sense, but Ran still didn't like the fact that a man he trusted was being accused of such an act. "I defended you Kikyou, I told her there was no way I could believe you did this. She wouldn't listen to me; I don't think she wanted to listen. Manx thinks that I am not seeing things clearly because I can't remember."
"Manx is one stubborn woman."
Ran nodded, rubbing his shoulder unconsciously to ease the slight pain that was still present. "Go talk to them, if they know you are working on the case and not part of it…"
Shaking his head, Kikyou reached up to turn off the stove. "They would tell me to stop my personal mission, to let someone else handle it. There are things that I need to do, that I need to have again." One crimson brow arched at that comment, rich purple eyes falling on his friend's troubled features. "Do you really remember nothing Ran?" He whispered, his eyes examining the pot a bit to closely. "Have you forgotten everything?"
Those words startled the younger man as he nodded. "I'm sorry." After a moment he rose, walking over to his old friend. Ran could tell the man was upset over something, he was just hoping he wasn't the cause of it. "I wish I could help you with all this, but I just can't remember anything."
"It isn't that." He whispered then, dark eyes meeting the redhead's gaze. "I just… missed you so much."
"Kikyou, please just tell me what's wrong!"
Nodding slightly, the dark haired man turned to face Ran. "One of the reasons I came back was for you. When I heard you were, in fact alive, I had to come looking for you. I missed you Ran, I thought I had lost you forever and I needed you again." Ran took a step back from his friend; something flitting across his memory for a moment, but then was gone. "Ran, I loved you! I still love you, but you don't remember this, do you?" Violet eyes widened at those words. Somehow, what he said felt so right, but awfully wrong at the same time. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything." He then whispered, pulling the pot from the stove to sit it on the table. "It isn't fair to you, I was wrong to…"
"Kikyou?" He looked up, the confusion still apparent on the younger man's face. "Are you saying that we were involved… romantically?" Ran watched as the older assassin walk up to him, tenderly caressing his cheek. "We were…"
"Lovers?" He nodded. "Does it sound so odd to you now?" When the redhead said nothing, he leaned down to kiss him gently. That brought Ran out of his shock, opening his mouth instinctively to allow Kikyou to deepen the kiss. When he finally did pull away from the kiss, Kikyou smiled down at him.
Raising one pale hand to his lips, his cheeks reddened from what they had just done. 'Idiot, it was only a fucking kiss! Why would he lie, it must be true and I just don't remember. Poor Kikyou, thinking I was dead…' He paused, looking down at the floor. 'But Ken? What am I going to tell him? I didn't know.'
"Ran, what's wrong?" He asked, pulling the smaller man to him. "Did I do something wrong? Am I taking everything to fast?"
"No, it's not you… it's me Kikyou. I was just thinking about how I was going to explain all this to Ken." The growl made Ran look up, seeing the angry expression that now covered his friend face. "Kikyou?"
"Is he your lover?"
Ran could have smacked himself, how could he slip up like that. "No, it's not like that at all! He is my teammate, but he's been taking care of me. I just thought…"
"So you fell in love with another person, but you can't remember us?"
Once again, he shook his head, trying to calm the dark haired man down. "It's not that either!" Ran winced as Kikyou grabbed his wrist roughly, pulling his smaller body against his. "Stop! Kikyou, please!"
Growling, he leaned down to nuzzle the redhead's neck. His tongue darting out to taste the pale skin, purring deeply. "You are mine, always will be. I don't know what you and this man have done, but I won't let him have you!"
"You're hurting me!" He snapped, finally pulling from his ex-teammates hold. "Damn it, fucking asshole! What the hell is wrong with you?" With that, the anger died from his friend deep gaze, turning into concern as he took a step forward. "Stay away!"
Trembling, he held out a hand for Ran's. "I'm sorry, I overreacted. It's just… I thought you were dead and now you are here with me. I guess I got jealous, thinking someone had taken my place."
Ran just looked at him, seeing the genuine concern in his eyes. Sighing, he reached out and took his hand. "It's ok, you just hurt me." He then said, smiling a moment later. "Why don't we eat? I haven't had anything since early this morning and my temper is short." His friend agreed, pulling out the dishes as Ran once again sat at the table.
'I won't let you go this time Ran. No one, not Kritiker, not Weiss, not this man… no one is going to take you from me.' Breathing out, he took a seat beside his friend and began to serve him.
*
"What do you mean he hasn't come home?"
"Exactly that." Omi answered, looking up at the woman before him. "He said he was going for a walk, that was six hours ago. I tried calling his cell phone and got no answer."
Manx shook her head, running her fingers back though her hair. She could tell that he was concerned over their missing teammate, especially with the knowledge that someone might be after him. "Did you inform him of the letter that Ken found taped to the door?"
The two lovers looked at one another, Yohji breathing out as he pulled the cigarette from his mouth. "Like Omi said, he hasn't been home since he left earlier today."
"We really haven't had a chance to tell him anything." Omi then responded. "I haven't even been able to tell him about you needing his katana."
Nodding, she tapped her fingers on the desk, thinking over what she had just been told. "Well there is no stopping it, I need his katana and I'll bring it back in the morning. If he has a problem with it then you can tell him I said not to wander off for so long." Glancing over at the brunette, she saw that Ken really hadn't been paying attention to what they had been talking about. "Wouldn't you say so Ken?"
"Yeah."
Her frown deepened as she slammed her hand down on the desk. "Ken!"
"Huh?" Looking up, he saw the three looking over at him. "What? Did Ran come home?"
Jade eyes narrowed as she sighed. "No, that is what we were just discussing." She answered. "Let me give you a helpful piece of advice, Ken. Don't fall in love with Abyssinian." Tanned skin flushed at those words as he hung his head, dark bangs covering his eyes. "Ran is a great assassin, but he had problems and these problems…" Stopping, Manx looked away. "Just don't fall in love with him, investing so much worry and love into someone who doesn't care? You will just end up alone again."
"That was kinda cold, Manx." Yohji muttered, seeing that those words had indeed hurt his friend. "Ran and Ken are both big boys, I am sure they can take care of themselves."
Emerald and jade clashed as the redhead glared at the eldest Weiss. "Ken, could you go get Ran's katana for me?" The brunette stood, doing at the informant had asked. He was actually glad she had sent him; he really didn't want to be in there. Not with what she had just said. Once the brunette was gone, Manx spoke. "I know Ran, and never in all that time have I known him to express any form of love." She said, sounding a bit remorseful. "I am trying to save Siberian from having a broken heart, not hurt him."
"Yeah well you did." He drawled, popping the cigarette back into his mouth. "The kid likes Ran, and Ran seems to like him. Maybe loosing his memory was the best thing that could have happened to him!"
"How so?"
Yohji glanced up, smirking. "For one, he has all that damned training nonsense that you put him though gone." There was a pause on his behalf. "Ever think that in your quest to make obedient assassins, you were killing off what little feelings we had remaining?" Rolling her eyes, the redhead crossed her arms. "Yeah we fucked with him and sure he wanted to leave, but things have calmed down. I think he's starting to see that he can fit in here, and… well I'm getting used to him."
"Me too." Omi said with a smile. "He's not so cold and he hasn't really snapped at any of us in the past few days."
That made Manx laugh. "You aren't going to know what Ran is thinking unless he wants you to know. After his family… he shut himself down. It wasn't Kritiker or me, and it wasn't the training. He closed himself off because he doesn't want to be hurt anymore."
Sitting up, Yohji put out his cigarette. "So you are saying that his whole team getting killed was actually a good thing for him?" The sarcasm in his voice was obvious.
"Yohji, that isn't kind." Omi chided. "What happened that night wasn't her fault, it was something very bad and unpredictable."
"You don't know that sweetie." He answered, glancing at his lover. "For all we know, Kritiker knew that team was about to fall under. So instead of trying to fix the problem they just sat back and watched it happen."
"NO!" She snapped, her hands held beside her in tight fists, nails digging into her palms. "I would never allow one of my teams to self destruct like that! I went there so many times, but Ran didn't seem to be getting better, just more depressed. I couldn't get though; his walls had been building up to the point… I thought no one could. Then when he was with Shion, he seemed almost human. I even saw him smile a few times." She said, ending in a whisper as her back hit the wall. "I don't know what to do anymore. All I want, all I have ever wanted was to help him."
Yohji and Omi glanced at one another, seeing now that this was affecting Manx as much as it was they. She honestly wanted the best for their newest teammate; Manx truly cared about their highly stubborn member. Rising from the couch, the blond made his way over to her, taking her hand. "Don't worry, we will take care of him."
"Thank you." She whispered, a slight smile crossing her lips. It was then that they heard the door open, for one brief moment wondering if maybe Ran had finally come home. But it was Ken, not their lost redhead, who made his way down the stairs. Coming down into the room, he walked over to Manx with Ran's katana in his hand. "Tell him I will return it first thing in the morning." She then said, removing the katana from the tanned man's hold. "You three have a good night."
Omi nodded as Yohji waved. "Drive carefully!" With that she was gone, the three left alone once again to wait for their missing members return. "Hey Omi, maybe we should go out and look for him?"
"But if he comes home injured…" They glanced over at Ken seeing him smile slightly. "No, he wouldn't come home injured." He whispered to himself. "Ran is too stubborn to let someone get the best of him." Once again, the lovers looked at one another, a knowing glance passed between them. Manx could warn Ken all she wanted, but the brunette had fallen in love and there was nothing anyone could do.
*
It was as simple as a touch, a damned touch that made him tremble inside. The way his hands ran across his pale skin set every nerve on edge to the point where all he wanted to do was run away. But he couldn't, he wouldn't dare, if he did… this man would hurt him. He would hurt him even more than these touches hurt his soul, this man would leave wounds that weren't so easily seen on the surface. Ran hated giving into him, but to fight him… no he could never fight him. The shame of facing what had been done to him was far worse than the shame of allowing him to continue.
Ran couldn't help but cry out as dull teeth bit into his shoulder. "You're not paying attention to me." The man whispered, pulling the redhead so his back was against his chest, running a hand from his shoulder to his stomach.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, violet eyes falling closed, trying to deny that once again this was happening. She had told him he would be safe, that Ran could trust these people, but this? "…Forgive me?"
The elder man let out a slight laugh, his arms wrapping around his waist as a hand slipped into his robe. "Forgiven. Why are you ashamed of what we do, Rannie?" He whispered, placing feather light kisses against his neck. "It is natural for two people to engage in these acts, its good for you to let out your frustrations."
He couldn't help the gasp that escaped his lips as a singular tear trailed down his cheek. "Please, stop…" But he wouldn't listen; then again, the redhead knew he wouldn't. He never would until he possessed every bit of his soul, until Ran gave himself over, completely, and freely. "Please…" He didn't want to loose himself, not as they wanted him too. He didn't want to become this, there was still a part of him that held to the singular truth. But even that truth had turned out to be a lie; he was like them. Even the person that he cared about had deserted him to this, all because he was weak. Ran had given in and this had become his punishment. "Shion please…"
The redhead awoke suddenly, his sweat-covered body glowing in the faint light that filtered in though the window. All his training kicked in as Ran realized he wasn't quite sure where he was, but it wasn't his home. Laying there, unmoving, he trying to get his thoughts to catch up to the current situation he found himself in. A gentle breeze across his cheek made him look up and all thought fled him as Ran smiled. Kikyou lad beside him, sleeping deeply, his arms wrapped protectively around the redheads pale form. He knew what had happened, he knew where he was now, and his mind had eased with that knowledge. 'That's right, Kikyou had told me we were lovers.' Violet eyes slid closed as a slight blush stained his cheeks. His friend had brought him in here, had been kind to Ran by taking things slow. 'I let him have me; we made love. Kikyou seemed so happy to have me back again, he couldn't be lying.'
But for all that he felt a moment of peace, something just wasn't right. Opening his eyes again, he slipped from the older man's hold and looked toward the clock. Ran knew he would be in trouble when he finally made his way home, it was past midnight and it would take him a good thirty minutes to walk there from Kikyou's place. Growling to himself for allowing this to happen, he slipped out of bed and pulled on his clothes. Looking down once more at the sleeping figure, Ran frowned then silently made his way out of the apartment, walking out of the building and down the road. It was then and only then that he started thinking over exactly what had occurred that evening.
For a brief moment in the dark, he had felt secure. After that moment had passed a feeling of dread had caught him and made him realize, something wasn't right. As he continued to analyze the situation Ran finally came to his conclusion, it had felt right because Kikyou wanted him to believe it was. If Kikyou were telling the truth, if they had been lovers, wouldn't some part of him have responded to his touch? But his touch had been wrong, Ran had just wanted it to be right; he had wanted to believe in his teammate. 'So what exactly did happen tonight? Is he telling the truth, or is something deeper happening here?' Growling out in confusion, the assassin turned down an ally and made his way to the back door, pulling out his keys. There was no use in thinking this over now, he was tired and needed rest. Walking up the stairs, Ran opened the door and made his way into the living room. It was then the lights came on and he was faced with three very pissed team members.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Omi snapped, shocking both Ken and Yohji. The blond very rarely snapped and cussed even less, the two combined meant he had honestly been concerned. "Do you know how worried we have been? You said you were going for a walk and picking up a few things, that was almost twelve hours ago, Ran!"
"I'm sorry." Sighing, he brushed back his bangs in frustration. Ran was tired, confused, and sore, the last thing he needed was Mini-Manx bugging him. Really, that boy should have been an informant with as much as he loved knowing everything.
All the anger Omi had felt suddenly lifted, being replaced by concern. "You have been hurt!" He cried out, hoping over to the redhead. "What happened? Are you ok? Were you attacked?" Pulling the redhead over to a chair, he pushed Ran down and started examining the cut on his forehead. "It's clean? Did you go to the hospital?"
Shaking his head, he waved off the blond boys concern. He needed aspirin, he needed his bed but most of all he needed to be alone. "No, Kikyou fixed it for me." Those words made the three men freeze. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
As if those words had flipped a switch, suddenly it was Ken's turn to become worried. "What did he do to you?" He demanded, walking over to the redhead. "Did he do this? Is that why you are hurt?" Ken had been able to tell as soon as he had seen Ran that he had been confused over something. Obviously, whatever it was that was bothering the pale man was still there. Ken had to admit that the man looked really cute when confused. "Ran, what happened?"
"Nothing, I hurt myself by accident." He answered, slightly surprised by the brunettes concern. Sure, Ken had acted this way before but he figured it was due to a passing fancy. "He saw me and helped me, we talked…"
It was Omi's turn to be surprised. "He didn't try to kill you?"
"No."
Ken frowned, meeting Ran's violet eyes with his own. "But we received a letter today?" He whispered. "It said that we couldn't have you? Whoever wrote it said they would kill us if we tried to keep you, that you were theirs."
Ran thought this new information over, opening his mouth to speak when Yohji cut him off. "Hey? Look, everyone is really tired right now. Ran is home and he is safe, lets just be thankful for that at the moment. I suggest that we all go to bed, get a good night's sleep and finish talking about all of this in the morning. I think this is something we are all going to want to have a clear head for."
Omi couldn't help but look up at his lover in shock, a slight smile on his lips. "I like when you say things that actually make sense." With that said, Ran pushed his way past Ken and made his way out of the room. The three only watched as the crimson haired killer ran up the stairs, the slamming of his door echoing down though the halls. Ken could only watch him as he went, more confused now that he had seen Ran's eyes. Seen the silent plea of help, help from his confusion. It only made him want to know what happened even more, but like Yohji said, it would have to wait until morning.
Green eyes met blue as Yohji arches a brow at his younger lover. Seeing him nod, the eldest assassin took a step towards Ken. "You really are an idiot, follow him."
"But…" He began, only to be cut off by the man again.
"Yes we said that we would discuss this in the morning, but it looks like Ran could really use a friend. Seeing that he likes you, I'm guessing that you are it." The brunette blinked, still unsure if he should go. "You will regret it later if you don't go to him." Yohji said, knowing what Ken was thinking. "Go." He didn't need the man to tell him again, turning he made his way up to the redheads room.
*
Isa: Well that is it for this chapter, thank you for reading! *bows*
Schu: Why isn't kami-chan doing this ending?
Isa: O_o Because she is in Japan, Schuschu.
Schu: … Oh, ok! Well please review, kami-chan would like that!
Isa: Heehee. Hai, she would! *bounces* =^___^=
*
' Thoughts '
" Spoken "
*
Isa: Thanks to Omi-chan who kept pushing me to finish, Chibi who beta-read this chapter since my bet-reader is in Japan and to kami-chan. Even though you weren't here (seeing you are having all that fun in Japan) I knew you would have wanted me to work on my stories, and you are still the BEST beta reader! *bounces*
Schu: And to me! For being a great muse.
Isa: *sweat drops* That's debatable…
Schu: *sighs* No respect.
*
Encounters
He didn't know where he was going; all he knew was that his instinct told him to run. Run as far away as he could from that house and the people within it. To run from the group that controlled him, from the people that commanded him. All he could think of was that, well that and running from her. That damned woman, the one who he had believed in and trusted in. She had found him and it was she who had brought him into this world of assassination. At the time, it was perfect, even easy. He would work for them and they, in return, would help him get the revenge that he had been seeking. But now, none of it made sense, everything that he had once thought of as perfect no longer added up. He couldn't remember anything of the past few years, and he desperately wanted to. As he ran only one thought dominated over all others, he had to get as far away from all of them as he could.
Ran was vaguely aware of the curses that were shouted at him as he pushed past the multitude of people going home from work for the day. It was too much for him, all of this… normality. None of them could sympathize with him; no one in this mass of humans could feel what he felt. How could they know what it was like to live as he did, live to kill at your master's command like some well-trained circus animal? Then it hit him, he wasn't one of them anymore, and he wasn't human. Ran was someone's property; he was owned and controlled by his master. All Persia was, all Kritiker ever would be was some fucked up ring, bent on controlling their property. Ran wasn't free. He was just made to believe that so he would feel content, so he wouldn't fight the chains that bound him to these people.
That thought made him sick, the heat of the bodies around him making him even more so. The redhead couldn't help it as he closed his eyes, blindly pushing through the crowd. It was too much too fast and too soon, it was all he could see and all he could smell. People were everywhere and he felt suffocated, much like a wolf trapped in the hunter's snare. He continued to fight, blindly, against the press of flesh against his own skin. All he needed was to break from it, that one moment that he didn't feel trapped, and then he could run. Suddenly it came, and he took the opening without a second thought, bolting down the alley. So intent was he in getting away from the throng behind him, he never saw the alley door propped open. Slamming into the obstacle, the redhead fell back, his shoulder connecting roughly with the uneven ground below him.
He didn't know how long he had lain there, watching as the blood slowly dripped to the ground from the gash in his forehead. Sure, it was his own damned fault that he was injured now. I mean really, what kind of assassin was so out of it that he ran head first into an open metal door? 'Obviously me,' was the first thought that came to him as he pushed himself up, wincing as he did so. 'Wonderful, I think I fucked up my shoulder too…' Sighing, Ran stood, cradling his left arm tenderly. 'Magnificent, now I'm going to go back home and they are going to ask what happened.' However, one word in that thought had surprised him. When had he begun to think of that place as home?
Making his way out of the alley and back towards the flower shop, he ignored the looks from the people around him. It didn't matter what any of them thought. All they saw was a damaged boy; they didn't see the murderer below the surface. If they could, he knew they wouldn't give him those pity filled looks. No, if they only knew what he had done they would see Ran for what he really was, a monster. Something to be feared; never to be loved. He had become the demon they dreaded and the terror that haunted them at night. Ran was their death, and you never played with death.
"Ran?" The crimson haired assassin kept walking, his mind so wrapped up in thought he had never heard the man call out to him. "Ran, wait up!"
A hand on his shoulder made him hiss in pain, pulling his injured self away from the unwanted touch. Ran turned, ready to snap at the individual who dared to touch him but paused. 'How did he… What is he doing here?'
A slight frown marred tanned features as the dark haired assassin shook his head. He might not know what was going with Ran, but he could tell the younger man was not himself. Ran wasn't the awkward type, but he wasn't helpless either. 'There is only two ways Ran could have gotten hurt. Either someone recognized him, got a group of people together and attacked him.' He thought. 'Or Ran has done this to himself.' The man decided, watching as violet eyes went from confusion to recollection, finally settling on a calming gaze. "What happened to you?" Flushing slightly, the crimson haired assassin mumbled a few words, looking down at the ground. "Huh?"
"I ran into a door." The man laughed then, doubling over. People that walked near the two men standing there either smiled or gave the man an odd look. "You can stop laughing now." Ran grumbled, shifting his shoulder slightly while his friend continued to snicker at what he had said. "Kikyou!"
Looking up, he wiped his cheek with a sleeve and smiled. "I'm sorry." He then said, still smirking. "It's just… the great Fujimiya ran into a door." Those words set the man off into a fit of laughter once again; the annoyed redhead simply started walking off. "Whoa, hold on a minute!" He yelled, reaching for the hot-tempered assassins good arm and pulling him to a stop. "I'm sorry, are you ok?"
"My shoulder," he answered. "I think I injured it."
Kikyou nodded, slipping his hand into Ran's own. "The place I am staying at is only a few blocks from here." He said, tugging him gently in said direction. "Come home with me Ran, I'll take care of you." Thinking over the offer for a moment, he nodded, allowing the older man to lead him away. Anyway, this was Kikyou, his old team member. What harm would come from accepting his help?
*
Walking out of the bathroom, Ran made his way over to the bed in his ex-teammates bedroom and picked up the sweats. Pulling them on, he then grabbed the shirt and tugged it on as well. As he had thought, it was a bit big for him, but it was only for now until his clothes were done washing. After Kikyou had checked his shoulder and cleaned the cut on his forehead, he had made the redhead take a shower. 'He was right; the hot water did help my shoulder. I'm just glad it wasn't seriously damaged. I've already fucked up once, doing it again wouldn't be a wise idea at the moment.' Running the towel though his hair once again, he opened the door and walked out of the bedroom.
Suddenly the smell of cooking food drifting though the small apartment reminded the assassin of how hungry he really was. Now that Ran thought about it, he hadn't eaten since early this morning and it was now almost evening. Making his way into the kitchen, the redhead smiled at the man within standing by the stove. "What is that look for?" Kikyou asked, putting the lid back on the pot.
"No reason." He answered. "I just remember you like this, always taking care of everyone else." Kikyou frowned, causing his ex-teammate to walk over to him. "Did I say something wrong?"
Blinking, he smiled then shook his head. "No," Kikyou answered, seeming to think the question over a moment longer. "It's just that there is no one for me to take care of anymore." He saw the redhead nod, taking the seat across from him. "I had you, Shion and the others. Everyone is gone Ran, it's only you and I now." He laughed softly, resting his head against his palm. "I don't even have you anymore, this new group that you are with takes care of you now."
Ran leaned back in the seat, his head resting against the wall behind him. "I don't know if you would call it -taking care-, it's more along the lines of -putting up with-." The gentle touch on Ran's hand startled him as the man across from him threaded their fingers together. Ran sat there, silent and confused for a moment until one thought overrode them all. Glancing back to Kikyou, Ran couldn't help the frown that crossed his features. "Manx still believes that you are the one who killed our team. Either that, or it is Persia who thought up that crazy idea."
"It's not crazy, it's logical."
Violet eyes met the dark of Kikyou's, confused at the comment. "Are you says she's right?" He snapped, not ready to believe for a moment that was what he meant. The older man shook his head, standing to go back over to the food that was cooking. "Then what was that comment for?" He asked.
"We both know Kritiker isn't the best at solving problems, we are their problem solvers. I believe that Manx is running by logic, and the circumstances that surrounded our fall." Glancing back at Ran, he smiled. "I really am the main suspect, my team is killed, and I disappear? It looks suspicious to them, and that is why I'm getting all the finger pointing."
That did make sense, but Ran still didn't like the fact that a man he trusted was being accused of such an act. "I defended you Kikyou, I told her there was no way I could believe you did this. She wouldn't listen to me; I don't think she wanted to listen. Manx thinks that I am not seeing things clearly because I can't remember."
"Manx is one stubborn woman."
Ran nodded, rubbing his shoulder unconsciously to ease the slight pain that was still present. "Go talk to them, if they know you are working on the case and not part of it…"
Shaking his head, Kikyou reached up to turn off the stove. "They would tell me to stop my personal mission, to let someone else handle it. There are things that I need to do, that I need to have again." One crimson brow arched at that comment, rich purple eyes falling on his friend's troubled features. "Do you really remember nothing Ran?" He whispered, his eyes examining the pot a bit to closely. "Have you forgotten everything?"
Those words startled the younger man as he nodded. "I'm sorry." After a moment he rose, walking over to his old friend. Ran could tell the man was upset over something, he was just hoping he wasn't the cause of it. "I wish I could help you with all this, but I just can't remember anything."
"It isn't that." He whispered then, dark eyes meeting the redhead's gaze. "I just… missed you so much."
"Kikyou, please just tell me what's wrong!"
Nodding slightly, the dark haired man turned to face Ran. "One of the reasons I came back was for you. When I heard you were, in fact alive, I had to come looking for you. I missed you Ran, I thought I had lost you forever and I needed you again." Ran took a step back from his friend; something flitting across his memory for a moment, but then was gone. "Ran, I loved you! I still love you, but you don't remember this, do you?" Violet eyes widened at those words. Somehow, what he said felt so right, but awfully wrong at the same time. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything." He then whispered, pulling the pot from the stove to sit it on the table. "It isn't fair to you, I was wrong to…"
"Kikyou?" He looked up, the confusion still apparent on the younger man's face. "Are you saying that we were involved… romantically?" Ran watched as the older assassin walk up to him, tenderly caressing his cheek. "We were…"
"Lovers?" He nodded. "Does it sound so odd to you now?" When the redhead said nothing, he leaned down to kiss him gently. That brought Ran out of his shock, opening his mouth instinctively to allow Kikyou to deepen the kiss. When he finally did pull away from the kiss, Kikyou smiled down at him.
Raising one pale hand to his lips, his cheeks reddened from what they had just done. 'Idiot, it was only a fucking kiss! Why would he lie, it must be true and I just don't remember. Poor Kikyou, thinking I was dead…' He paused, looking down at the floor. 'But Ken? What am I going to tell him? I didn't know.'
"Ran, what's wrong?" He asked, pulling the smaller man to him. "Did I do something wrong? Am I taking everything to fast?"
"No, it's not you… it's me Kikyou. I was just thinking about how I was going to explain all this to Ken." The growl made Ran look up, seeing the angry expression that now covered his friend face. "Kikyou?"
"Is he your lover?"
Ran could have smacked himself, how could he slip up like that. "No, it's not like that at all! He is my teammate, but he's been taking care of me. I just thought…"
"So you fell in love with another person, but you can't remember us?"
Once again, he shook his head, trying to calm the dark haired man down. "It's not that either!" Ran winced as Kikyou grabbed his wrist roughly, pulling his smaller body against his. "Stop! Kikyou, please!"
Growling, he leaned down to nuzzle the redhead's neck. His tongue darting out to taste the pale skin, purring deeply. "You are mine, always will be. I don't know what you and this man have done, but I won't let him have you!"
"You're hurting me!" He snapped, finally pulling from his ex-teammates hold. "Damn it, fucking asshole! What the hell is wrong with you?" With that, the anger died from his friend deep gaze, turning into concern as he took a step forward. "Stay away!"
Trembling, he held out a hand for Ran's. "I'm sorry, I overreacted. It's just… I thought you were dead and now you are here with me. I guess I got jealous, thinking someone had taken my place."
Ran just looked at him, seeing the genuine concern in his eyes. Sighing, he reached out and took his hand. "It's ok, you just hurt me." He then said, smiling a moment later. "Why don't we eat? I haven't had anything since early this morning and my temper is short." His friend agreed, pulling out the dishes as Ran once again sat at the table.
'I won't let you go this time Ran. No one, not Kritiker, not Weiss, not this man… no one is going to take you from me.' Breathing out, he took a seat beside his friend and began to serve him.
*
"What do you mean he hasn't come home?"
"Exactly that." Omi answered, looking up at the woman before him. "He said he was going for a walk, that was six hours ago. I tried calling his cell phone and got no answer."
Manx shook her head, running her fingers back though her hair. She could tell that he was concerned over their missing teammate, especially with the knowledge that someone might be after him. "Did you inform him of the letter that Ken found taped to the door?"
The two lovers looked at one another, Yohji breathing out as he pulled the cigarette from his mouth. "Like Omi said, he hasn't been home since he left earlier today."
"We really haven't had a chance to tell him anything." Omi then responded. "I haven't even been able to tell him about you needing his katana."
Nodding, she tapped her fingers on the desk, thinking over what she had just been told. "Well there is no stopping it, I need his katana and I'll bring it back in the morning. If he has a problem with it then you can tell him I said not to wander off for so long." Glancing over at the brunette, she saw that Ken really hadn't been paying attention to what they had been talking about. "Wouldn't you say so Ken?"
"Yeah."
Her frown deepened as she slammed her hand down on the desk. "Ken!"
"Huh?" Looking up, he saw the three looking over at him. "What? Did Ran come home?"
Jade eyes narrowed as she sighed. "No, that is what we were just discussing." She answered. "Let me give you a helpful piece of advice, Ken. Don't fall in love with Abyssinian." Tanned skin flushed at those words as he hung his head, dark bangs covering his eyes. "Ran is a great assassin, but he had problems and these problems…" Stopping, Manx looked away. "Just don't fall in love with him, investing so much worry and love into someone who doesn't care? You will just end up alone again."
"That was kinda cold, Manx." Yohji muttered, seeing that those words had indeed hurt his friend. "Ran and Ken are both big boys, I am sure they can take care of themselves."
Emerald and jade clashed as the redhead glared at the eldest Weiss. "Ken, could you go get Ran's katana for me?" The brunette stood, doing at the informant had asked. He was actually glad she had sent him; he really didn't want to be in there. Not with what she had just said. Once the brunette was gone, Manx spoke. "I know Ran, and never in all that time have I known him to express any form of love." She said, sounding a bit remorseful. "I am trying to save Siberian from having a broken heart, not hurt him."
"Yeah well you did." He drawled, popping the cigarette back into his mouth. "The kid likes Ran, and Ran seems to like him. Maybe loosing his memory was the best thing that could have happened to him!"
"How so?"
Yohji glanced up, smirking. "For one, he has all that damned training nonsense that you put him though gone." There was a pause on his behalf. "Ever think that in your quest to make obedient assassins, you were killing off what little feelings we had remaining?" Rolling her eyes, the redhead crossed her arms. "Yeah we fucked with him and sure he wanted to leave, but things have calmed down. I think he's starting to see that he can fit in here, and… well I'm getting used to him."
"Me too." Omi said with a smile. "He's not so cold and he hasn't really snapped at any of us in the past few days."
That made Manx laugh. "You aren't going to know what Ran is thinking unless he wants you to know. After his family… he shut himself down. It wasn't Kritiker or me, and it wasn't the training. He closed himself off because he doesn't want to be hurt anymore."
Sitting up, Yohji put out his cigarette. "So you are saying that his whole team getting killed was actually a good thing for him?" The sarcasm in his voice was obvious.
"Yohji, that isn't kind." Omi chided. "What happened that night wasn't her fault, it was something very bad and unpredictable."
"You don't know that sweetie." He answered, glancing at his lover. "For all we know, Kritiker knew that team was about to fall under. So instead of trying to fix the problem they just sat back and watched it happen."
"NO!" She snapped, her hands held beside her in tight fists, nails digging into her palms. "I would never allow one of my teams to self destruct like that! I went there so many times, but Ran didn't seem to be getting better, just more depressed. I couldn't get though; his walls had been building up to the point… I thought no one could. Then when he was with Shion, he seemed almost human. I even saw him smile a few times." She said, ending in a whisper as her back hit the wall. "I don't know what to do anymore. All I want, all I have ever wanted was to help him."
Yohji and Omi glanced at one another, seeing now that this was affecting Manx as much as it was they. She honestly wanted the best for their newest teammate; Manx truly cared about their highly stubborn member. Rising from the couch, the blond made his way over to her, taking her hand. "Don't worry, we will take care of him."
"Thank you." She whispered, a slight smile crossing her lips. It was then that they heard the door open, for one brief moment wondering if maybe Ran had finally come home. But it was Ken, not their lost redhead, who made his way down the stairs. Coming down into the room, he walked over to Manx with Ran's katana in his hand. "Tell him I will return it first thing in the morning." She then said, removing the katana from the tanned man's hold. "You three have a good night."
Omi nodded as Yohji waved. "Drive carefully!" With that she was gone, the three left alone once again to wait for their missing members return. "Hey Omi, maybe we should go out and look for him?"
"But if he comes home injured…" They glanced over at Ken seeing him smile slightly. "No, he wouldn't come home injured." He whispered to himself. "Ran is too stubborn to let someone get the best of him." Once again, the lovers looked at one another, a knowing glance passed between them. Manx could warn Ken all she wanted, but the brunette had fallen in love and there was nothing anyone could do.
*
It was as simple as a touch, a damned touch that made him tremble inside. The way his hands ran across his pale skin set every nerve on edge to the point where all he wanted to do was run away. But he couldn't, he wouldn't dare, if he did… this man would hurt him. He would hurt him even more than these touches hurt his soul, this man would leave wounds that weren't so easily seen on the surface. Ran hated giving into him, but to fight him… no he could never fight him. The shame of facing what had been done to him was far worse than the shame of allowing him to continue.
Ran couldn't help but cry out as dull teeth bit into his shoulder. "You're not paying attention to me." The man whispered, pulling the redhead so his back was against his chest, running a hand from his shoulder to his stomach.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, violet eyes falling closed, trying to deny that once again this was happening. She had told him he would be safe, that Ran could trust these people, but this? "…Forgive me?"
The elder man let out a slight laugh, his arms wrapping around his waist as a hand slipped into his robe. "Forgiven. Why are you ashamed of what we do, Rannie?" He whispered, placing feather light kisses against his neck. "It is natural for two people to engage in these acts, its good for you to let out your frustrations."
He couldn't help the gasp that escaped his lips as a singular tear trailed down his cheek. "Please, stop…" But he wouldn't listen; then again, the redhead knew he wouldn't. He never would until he possessed every bit of his soul, until Ran gave himself over, completely, and freely. "Please…" He didn't want to loose himself, not as they wanted him too. He didn't want to become this, there was still a part of him that held to the singular truth. But even that truth had turned out to be a lie; he was like them. Even the person that he cared about had deserted him to this, all because he was weak. Ran had given in and this had become his punishment. "Shion please…"
The redhead awoke suddenly, his sweat-covered body glowing in the faint light that filtered in though the window. All his training kicked in as Ran realized he wasn't quite sure where he was, but it wasn't his home. Laying there, unmoving, he trying to get his thoughts to catch up to the current situation he found himself in. A gentle breeze across his cheek made him look up and all thought fled him as Ran smiled. Kikyou lad beside him, sleeping deeply, his arms wrapped protectively around the redheads pale form. He knew what had happened, he knew where he was now, and his mind had eased with that knowledge. 'That's right, Kikyou had told me we were lovers.' Violet eyes slid closed as a slight blush stained his cheeks. His friend had brought him in here, had been kind to Ran by taking things slow. 'I let him have me; we made love. Kikyou seemed so happy to have me back again, he couldn't be lying.'
But for all that he felt a moment of peace, something just wasn't right. Opening his eyes again, he slipped from the older man's hold and looked toward the clock. Ran knew he would be in trouble when he finally made his way home, it was past midnight and it would take him a good thirty minutes to walk there from Kikyou's place. Growling to himself for allowing this to happen, he slipped out of bed and pulled on his clothes. Looking down once more at the sleeping figure, Ran frowned then silently made his way out of the apartment, walking out of the building and down the road. It was then and only then that he started thinking over exactly what had occurred that evening.
For a brief moment in the dark, he had felt secure. After that moment had passed a feeling of dread had caught him and made him realize, something wasn't right. As he continued to analyze the situation Ran finally came to his conclusion, it had felt right because Kikyou wanted him to believe it was. If Kikyou were telling the truth, if they had been lovers, wouldn't some part of him have responded to his touch? But his touch had been wrong, Ran had just wanted it to be right; he had wanted to believe in his teammate. 'So what exactly did happen tonight? Is he telling the truth, or is something deeper happening here?' Growling out in confusion, the assassin turned down an ally and made his way to the back door, pulling out his keys. There was no use in thinking this over now, he was tired and needed rest. Walking up the stairs, Ran opened the door and made his way into the living room. It was then the lights came on and he was faced with three very pissed team members.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Omi snapped, shocking both Ken and Yohji. The blond very rarely snapped and cussed even less, the two combined meant he had honestly been concerned. "Do you know how worried we have been? You said you were going for a walk and picking up a few things, that was almost twelve hours ago, Ran!"
"I'm sorry." Sighing, he brushed back his bangs in frustration. Ran was tired, confused, and sore, the last thing he needed was Mini-Manx bugging him. Really, that boy should have been an informant with as much as he loved knowing everything.
All the anger Omi had felt suddenly lifted, being replaced by concern. "You have been hurt!" He cried out, hoping over to the redhead. "What happened? Are you ok? Were you attacked?" Pulling the redhead over to a chair, he pushed Ran down and started examining the cut on his forehead. "It's clean? Did you go to the hospital?"
Shaking his head, he waved off the blond boys concern. He needed aspirin, he needed his bed but most of all he needed to be alone. "No, Kikyou fixed it for me." Those words made the three men freeze. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
As if those words had flipped a switch, suddenly it was Ken's turn to become worried. "What did he do to you?" He demanded, walking over to the redhead. "Did he do this? Is that why you are hurt?" Ken had been able to tell as soon as he had seen Ran that he had been confused over something. Obviously, whatever it was that was bothering the pale man was still there. Ken had to admit that the man looked really cute when confused. "Ran, what happened?"
"Nothing, I hurt myself by accident." He answered, slightly surprised by the brunettes concern. Sure, Ken had acted this way before but he figured it was due to a passing fancy. "He saw me and helped me, we talked…"
It was Omi's turn to be surprised. "He didn't try to kill you?"
"No."
Ken frowned, meeting Ran's violet eyes with his own. "But we received a letter today?" He whispered. "It said that we couldn't have you? Whoever wrote it said they would kill us if we tried to keep you, that you were theirs."
Ran thought this new information over, opening his mouth to speak when Yohji cut him off. "Hey? Look, everyone is really tired right now. Ran is home and he is safe, lets just be thankful for that at the moment. I suggest that we all go to bed, get a good night's sleep and finish talking about all of this in the morning. I think this is something we are all going to want to have a clear head for."
Omi couldn't help but look up at his lover in shock, a slight smile on his lips. "I like when you say things that actually make sense." With that said, Ran pushed his way past Ken and made his way out of the room. The three only watched as the crimson haired killer ran up the stairs, the slamming of his door echoing down though the halls. Ken could only watch him as he went, more confused now that he had seen Ran's eyes. Seen the silent plea of help, help from his confusion. It only made him want to know what happened even more, but like Yohji said, it would have to wait until morning.
Green eyes met blue as Yohji arches a brow at his younger lover. Seeing him nod, the eldest assassin took a step towards Ken. "You really are an idiot, follow him."
"But…" He began, only to be cut off by the man again.
"Yes we said that we would discuss this in the morning, but it looks like Ran could really use a friend. Seeing that he likes you, I'm guessing that you are it." The brunette blinked, still unsure if he should go. "You will regret it later if you don't go to him." Yohji said, knowing what Ken was thinking. "Go." He didn't need the man to tell him again, turning he made his way up to the redheads room.
*
Isa: Well that is it for this chapter, thank you for reading! *bows*
Schu: Why isn't kami-chan doing this ending?
Isa: O_o Because she is in Japan, Schuschu.
Schu: … Oh, ok! Well please review, kami-chan would like that!
Isa: Heehee. Hai, she would! *bounces* =^___^=
