47.

8th August 2008.

12.35pm

Scully sat nursing a coffee whilst waiting for Monica to arrive, who, was stuck in traffic. It wasn't long before Monica burst through the doors of the restaurant and was seated opposite her friend. The waiter was at her side. Monica ordered the chicken and Scully did too. Scully was distracted, Monica could see this, she wanted to ask why but Scully averted the conversation to the wedding plans and the baby.

"I can't quite believe it. I mean always hoped that one day we might get married but now it seems unreal."

"You'll believe it when you get the dress. I'm so happy for you." Monica eyed Scully suspiciously "Why do I sense you are hiding something from me?"

"Because I am. I… um… I nearly had an abortion yesterday." Scully's eyes rested on her silverware, which she began cleaning with her napkin despite their spotless appearance.

"Its not that, Dana, its something else." Monica was looking at Scully and could see a panicking, a nervousness that wasn't connected with the baby but something else. It was embedded deep within her soul, something that had been unearthed from its resting place. "Dana, what is it?"


Scully looked up at her friend. She hadn't even told Mulder this news it was the worst thing to arrive in the mail that day. Scully pulled the brown envelope, that had made her blood run cold, from her bag and placed it on the table. Scully's eyes remained downcast.

"I can't open it. I know exactly what is inside this envelope and I can't open it, Monica. I just can't."

Monica looked at the red watermark stamp she could just about make out where the letter had been posted. 'Child and Family Services' Shaking her head slowly she touched Scully's hand as a way of comfort.

She remembered how she had found Dana after she had given up William. She had been huddled beside his crib his blanket clutched in her hand. Monica had never seen anyone so distraught. Dana hadn't lost her dream child she had given him away. That was the worst thing in the world she could do. Monica had helped Scully through the four weeks that had followed. Every night they would talk into the early hours, Monica having stayed with Scully because the memories kept her awake.

"It may be something entirely different, Dana."

"Monica… It is going to be the final adoption paper of William's. It never got signed because Mulder and I ran away."

"I know. Would it hurt to open it and find out?"

"Yes. I can't sign him away." She looked at Monica who was holding the envelope in her hand. "You open it."

Monica tore at the envelope slowly and pulled the single white sheet from inside. Opening it out she began to read the content of the letter.

"Dear Miss Scully. We are writing to you to ask for you to make an appointment to see one of our advisors. There are some sensitive details we need to discuss with you concerning the adoption of your son, William. Please could you get in contact as soon as possible."

Scully looked wide-eyed at Monica. She wasn't prepared for a letter like that. They were still calling William HER son, not the people who had adopted him. William was still hers and she couldn't help feeling a bubble of excitement in her belly. Taking out her cell phone she dialled the office number.

"Hello, this is Dana Scully I received a letter from you this morning…" she broke off the conversation as the receptionist passed her call through to someone else.

"Miss Scully?" A new, female voice spoke softly to her.

"Yes."

"Thank you for getting in contact so quickly. We have been trying to contact you for several weeks now. The family who were given William would like to meet with you to discuss William's future. They are a little concerned with the fact you have not signed his adoption finalisation papers and wish to discuss with you what you want. If you cannot they understand but would like you to at least sign the papers or take William."

"I'll meet with them."

"When?"

"Next week? Tuesday at ten?"

"I'll arrange it. Please could I have your telephone number in case we need to rearrange the time?" Scully spoke her number feeling numb at the frankness of the call. She had to make a decision in a week. She loved William but did she feel she could take him in? How would the change of homes affect him now? And what with a baby on the way… could she cope with her son? Did she want him back?

She looked at Monica; the confusion of feelings began to swamp her. Was it really possible for her to have her son back? Legally, was she entitled to ask for him back when she had been absent from his life for so long?


"The parents want to meet with me to discuss whether I want William back or not."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't really know. I want him but with the baby on the way I don't know if I could cope. Is that awful? I love my son, I just don't feel I could deal with the trauma of moving him in right now."

"I think it is perfectly understandable. You should discuss this with Mulder."

"He'll want William back… I know how much he regretted not being around when I gave William up. What did I do Mon? Why did I do it?"

"You did it for William. You said it yourself that you couldn't protect him like they could. I'm sure his adoptive family are perfectly wonderful."

"Exactly! I'm not… Look at me I gave up my son and nearly two years later I have his sister… how unfair does that look to a child? I mean had I kept him would I have had Samantha. I can't even answer my own dumb questions."

"Calm down Dana, It will be fine." Scully's eyes met with Monica's "I know it will."

The food arrived, as did a change in conversation. They talked about the wedding and what kind of dress Scully wanted to wear. It was now she asked her friend the one question she had set out to that day.

"Will you be my matron of Honour?"

"Of course I will!!! Oh my GOD! Dana! I'm so honoured!" heads turned at Monica's outburst as the two friends hugged across the table. "Just one thing… I refuse to wear Mint green!!!" Scully smiled nodding her approval of the condition.

***That evening***

Mulder was watching a documentary about the spirit world's effects upon Indian Tribes. He was distracted. Scully was furiously writing her lecture notes for the forthcoming September but he knew she was keeping herself busy because something was bothering her. He had seen it in her eyes that morning and when she had returned from lunch with Monica. He wanted to ask her what was wrong but she had a habit of shutting him out and she would always do that until she was ready to talk to him. He heard her sigh heavily from the dining room table. It wasn't the kind of sigh she gave when bored with her work it was more like she was thinking about something else.

He walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She dropped her pen and leant her head back against his stomach. Leaning over her he placed a kiss to her forehead. Mulder began massaging Scully's shoulders easing the tension, from the day, away.

"Feeling better?"

"Much. Thanks. I wish it could be like this forever. Just us." She looked up at Mulder he stopped massaging her shoulders and drew a chair up beside her.

"What is it? I know something is wrong. If you don't want to tell me then that is fine but consider telling me. We are getting married and I hoped we had no secrets between us."

Mulder held her hands as she turned fully to look at him her eyes etching the pain within. She looked down at their joined hands, how his were huge and manly compared to hers and how they fitted into each other perfectly. Sometimes she had to shake hr head at how mismatched they appeared on the surface but how they complimented each other. It was otherworldly. They were yin and yang personified.

"I got a letter today, about William's adoption."

"No wonder you have been distressed. What did it say?"

"The family want me to sign the final paper and meet with them. I am meeting them next Tuesday at ten. I want you there too. He is your son."

"I will be. What will happen?"

"I don't know. Talk about William and whether I want him back I guess."

"Do you?"

"Yes… No… Well both. I do because he is our child and I still bear the pain of giving him away and not seeing him grow up. On the flip side of the coin, he has a family now and I couldn't tear him away from them because of a purely selfish desire to be the Mother to our son. He doesn't know me and we don't know him. Imagine the multitude of emotional scarring we could put him through! Not to mention the baby! I don't think I can cope with that. What do you think?"

"I think that perhaps you are right. I would like to see him though. The other night was strange. How did you know it was William helping Samantha?"

"I know where they live and the park the take him to on Wednesday afternoons. Its almost religious."

"Dare I ask how you came by that information?"

"Skinner. He found out for me on the promise I wouldn't try and steal William. I just wanted to see him."

"Was it wise to do that?"

"Not really but I had to see him. He is so beautiful."

"I understand. We'll see what they want ok and make the decision then. It's going to be hard you know?" she nodded wondering if the papers had arrived, before her moonlight flit with Mulder, would she have signed them straight away.

He kissed her then making the pain melt away and turn into desire. Pulling her onto his lap, so she straddled him, she felt his instant arousal. It always made her smile how he could become aroused at the drop of a hat.

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me!" she spoke huskily in his ear.

"Why don't you give the trigger a squeeze and see if it goes off!" Scully couldn't help laughing. Mulder hugged her to him as she laughed. Slowly she calmed down tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. "It isn't that funny, Dana, You do realise that!"

"I know… I… Oh my!" Scully's face paled suddenly making Mulder look at her concerned. Scully's hands rested upon her belly.

"What is it?" she began breathing deeply as a mild pain crossed her belly. "Dana?" Scully held onto his shoulders as the pain increased her nails digging into his back.

"I think I need to go to the hospital." She said as the pain eased slightly. Mulder placed a hand on her stomach feeling how tight it was. "This isn't normal." Her face creased with fear and worry not thirty-six hours ago she was thinking about an abortion and now she was having pains… labour pains.