Summary: Set after "Self Possessed". Rogue deals with the recent events, and not very well, mind you. To survive, she will have to fight her greatest enemy - herself. But she needs not fight that battle alone, as she will find out for herself... only, will she find out too late?
Song from the story is "Slide" written and performed by Dido, and can be found on her album "No Angel".

Title: Abyss Of My Soul

Chapter 1 - One Look Beyond

She struggled to open her eyes. Darkness weighed heavily upon her, and she tried to fight it, but to no avail. Rogue felt weak, too weak even to exist. Her head was throbbing with pain, and the silence, deep and profound, silence which was once all she longed for, was slowly becoming unbearable. She was drowning in the dark; cold feeling of fear sweeping over her, making her stomach hurl down, engulfing her body in painful shivers.

Then slowly, almost too slowly for her tortured mind to notice, darkness and silence gave way, and soft shimmers of light and someone's steady breathing penetrated her senses and tingled her consciousness. Rogue dared to breathe a sigh, fearing anything more might bring more pain into the world, for her and for others. She had already hurt too much, hurt too many.

Into her mind came images of last night, unseen by her eyes, but by eyes of those she absorbed, of those whose life energy she took, who were now yielding their powers through her being. Every time she touched someone, she took their consciousness, their emotions and memories, and with mutants, their powers. Yet, soon enough, she lost them, they left her... leaving only their anger, sorrow and pain behind, leaving Rogue to deal with unfulfilled dreams, lost loves and broken lives. The burden of many lay on her shoulders, and from the moment she kissed for the first time, she carried that burden, although it was not hers to carry... and was never meant to be.

Silent tears run down her face, as she faced the truth of her life. Abandonment, betrayal, disregard... hurt. So much pain. She watched people she loved disappearing from her life, buried under the rubble of past sins, walking away with someone else and never looking back, or changing into the face of Mystique as her adopted mother took away something so precious to Rogue - trust in others... and this time, taking it forever.

* * * * *

"She will need you, Logan," Professor Xavier said quietly, not looking at the man standing in the shadows, but through the window, at the pale moon gleaming between heavy clouds. Soon, wind started to blow, and clouds broke across the night sky, dimming the moonlight and leaving the room in the dark.

"What can I do, Professor?" the man grunted, "I am no good when it comes to this kind of thing... give me something to fight and I'm all for it, but talking it through... You should ask someone else to help her, maybe Storm or Kurt," he said with the satisfied air of the one who knows he's right.

"No, Logan," Professor interrupted softly, moving away from the window and staring into the dark from where Wolverine's voice was coming from, "They can't understand her pain. Kurt is too young, and Storm... well, she could try, but it would not work. Rogue is powerful, and there is great potential in her future... if she can survive the present."

"You can look beyond the brave face she is putting on," Xavier continued, preventing any attempts of complaint from Logan, "Just one look beyond."