Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Labyrinth stuff, but if only I did, then.....oh hee hee hee, the things to be done, the sights to be seen! Oh, sorry, yeah, and some of that other stuff is mine, but if you've seen the movie, you'll know which is which.
Chapter 3
Jareth sat at the foot of his bed, twiddling a crystal ball between his fingers. Across from him, the sun's rays streamed in smugly from an open window. It made him squint. Jareth didn't like the sunlight. He didn't even like moonlight, but at he could at least stare accusingly at the moon and it would stare back rather than searing his eyes shut. Jareth glanced into the looking-glass by his bed. He had, apparently, evil eyes. They aren't evil, he muttered to himself. They just disagree.
He had learned to calculate his life using the huge timepiece in the center of the room. There were twenty-four hours in the day, twelve of which were supposedly dedicated to his studies. Jareth sighed every time this fact popped into his head. He has twelve different tutors (one for each hour of study) and he was drilled daily in astrology, astronomy, calligraphy, arithmetic, botany, pyromancy, dendromancy, cleromancy, Goblin grammar, Faery Speak, History of Goblin Folk, and, for unknown reasons, English.
Isn't that a human language? Jareth had asked when the squat English professor had been shown through the door.
The professor had said nothing; he merely glowered at Jareth and commanded that he open his textbook to page two and start reading.
Jareth didn't like any of his professors at all. They were the smallest, the fattest, and the hairiest goblin men he had ever laid his eyes on, and each one wore a sour expression that he could not wipe from his face, even with a dishcloth dipped in faery dust. They spoke either in short, sharp barks or in a series of long, drawn-out groans, and never allowed themselves to admit they didn't know an answer Jareth soon discovered that it was easiest to waste an hour's lesson time by asking a professor of the drawling category a question in another subject. One of his favorite pasttimes was to play this game with his agéd History tutor, Professor Märcust.
Professor, what is the average digging speed of a native tree root pixie if it is carrying a load of tréugler nuts on its back?
Professor Märcust would lean back in his chair and hem and haw a bit. Ummmm, well you see Highness, it, umm, let's see, ummmm, uhhhhhoooohhhoohuhhhohohohhomomommohmmhmhmmh......
The goblin prince learned to tolerate the moans and groans and found that he could actually get up and wander about his chambers, playing with crystals, while the tutor sat oblivious. Sometimes, Jareth would come back and sit down when the hour was nearly over, and gaze intently at the wrinkly little goblin, until the bell rang and the professor was ushered out by a nurse in order to make way for the next lesson.
There were twelve hours for recreation time, as his nurses termed it, in Jareth's day. This was the time he spent mostly wandering in and out of the corners of his bedroom, twirling crystals absentmindedly and probing his mind for deeper thoughts. Jareth had extensive capacites for contemplation, which he chose to reserve for his hours of boredom. His life, as he saw it, had no apparent point. Lessons which he was supposed to be learning, for the mere sake of illustrious records, no doubt, and being able to say to party-goers later on in his life, What? Dendromancy? Oh yes, of course I studied it, anyone from a good home studies THAT.
He would then, no doubt, be able to lean back in a manly fashion and tease a young fluttersome creature with his eyes, and offer to educate her in the ways of Dendromancy later that evening. And there would be another member of the goblin elite living inside the castle walls.
Jareth said aloud one morning, as four nurses were in his room making his bed. is not something I fancy getting into.
His second youngest nurse shrugged and looked at him sidelong. We'll just see, Prince Jareth, she replied, plumping his pillows. You may find yourself in want of a queen when the time comes, but like I said, we'll just see.
Jareth pondered this for a moment. I should need someone I can interpret. he said at last. Some one like me, I mean.
Well, Highness. His nurse turned the pillows over again and began folding blankets. You may find yourself in a lonely state of things then, I may say.
Find myself? Jareth stamped his foot, exasperated. Why do you keep saying I shall find myself? How am I supposed to find myself? I'm here?
Yes Highness, but you're not there, said his nurse, and she and her three affiliates left his room in single file.
