Chapter 17: Icy Stare, Cold Shoulder
~GoOf~
San Chai:
There was something in his eye that I couldn't place. This isn't the first time I couldn't make sense of what he was feeling. Even though I've known him since we were little, there were so many times when I just couldn't figure Lei out. As we continue to stare at each other, I glimpse random emotions. Hurt. Anger. Longing. Sadness. Impossible! Why would he be sad?! He has Jing. His beautiful Jing, who I can't compare to. She's perfect for him, they belong together. So l need to grow up, suck it up, and be happy for them. Yesterday I was still unsure of what I felt about him. He's my best friend, and I should wish the best for him. Yet, why does it hurt to think of him with another? AH! Stop being selfish San Chai. Lei's happiness is all that matters. ARGH!
Lei:
Time stops as we continue staring at each other. I'm trying my best to stay calm. It isn't hard considering the fact that I can be an introvert sometimes. Damn though, it's hard hiding my emotions from San Chai. Sometimes she can read me like an open book. It rips to hear what happened between San Chai and Ah-Si from Ximen and Mei Zuo. Is it true, San Chai, about what happened between you and Ah-Si? Why can't I accept the fact that you love Ah-Si? After all, I pushed you toward him. I'll only thought of your happiness and never consider my own feelings. Yes, I love you. I'll always will. You're my best friend, and the one I truly love whole heartedly. Your happiness means everything to me. If it means letting you go, I'll do it. I wish I had realized sooner, told you sooner, but it's my burden to carry now.
Lei and San Chai broke out of their reverie at the sound of Mei Zuo's voice.
"Yo! San Chai! Lei! Are you two having a staring contest?!" asked Mei Zuo.
"Yeah, what's with the staring?" asked Ximen.
"Staring? Lei why are you staring at San Chai? San Chai why are you staring at Lei?" demanded Ah-Si.
"Shhhhh! Stop the yelling and questioning. It's my turn, where is Xiao Yo, Ximen?" asked San Chai.
"Morning!" came a little voice at the doorway.
"Gee you're early!" said San Chai.
"I could say the same for you. Where were you last night? I waited for you back at the room, but you didn't come back" said Xiao Yo.
"Sweetie, didn't you hear? San Chai was with Ah-Si last night, IN HIS ROOM!" said Ximen.
"Aiii! OW! Sannn Chai!!!" Ximen yelped in pain.
"I'm so sorry. Was that your foot?" San Chai cooed innocently.
"I-In his room?" stuttered Xiao Yo.
"Don't listen to these two hormonally charged idiots! It so happened that I fell asleep on the deck, and Ah-Si didn't know where to bring me, so he brought me back to his room. NOTHING happened. Now together all of you. N-O-T-H-I-N-G H-A-P-P-E-N-E-D. Come on, repeat after me you guys," instructed San Chai.
"Okay hardworking virgin, keep telling yourself that" Ximen said jokingly.
"Ah! I give up!"
"Lei, what do you think about our hardworking virgin's little lie?" asked Mei Zuo.
"It's none of my business. What she does doesn't involve me," Lei replied coolly. San Chai looked at him with a hurt expression.
"Uh, Lei? What's wrong? That was a bit unlike you, we're just joking around with San Chai," Ximen's tone was serious now.
"Later," Lei told the group.
"Lei," San Chai called after him. Lei stopped at the sound of her voice. [Turn around Lei and tell her you didn't mean what you said. You do care, you care so much it hurts.] But instead he continued on his way.
[What the hell is wrong with him today?] thought Ah-Si. Noticing the hurt look on San Chai's face, Ah-Si felt a pang at his heart. If looks could kill, Lei would've been dead already with the daggers Dao Ming Si was sending his way. Deciding to lighten things up, Ah-Si asked if anyone was interested in having any more pancakes or else he would eat them all.
"San Chai, eat! You're too skinny!" Ah-Si repeated. Giving him an angry look, she continued with her breakfast, but her mind was spinning in search of an explanation for why Lei had left and for his sudden coldness towards her.
"Lei..." San Chai whispered to herself. Hanging on her every sigh and motion, Ah-Si heard her whisper, and emotions stirred within him he didn't like.
"You know what, I'm stuffed. I'm going to finish packing up," San Chai excused herself from the table.
[I think Lei and I need to have a serious talk. I can't stand it when he retreats into a shell like this. Stupid. Where would he be?]
She darted around the ship for nearly twenty minutes, but there was no sign of Lei. Stopping to catch her breath, her ears honed in on a familiar sad melody. [Thank God for that violin, and his habit of playing it when he's upset. This stupid yacht's too big.] The irony of their friendship was that it always took some sort of drama to force them to face the reality of a situation. They are both dreamers, frequently in denial. It's heartfelt, the way Lei thinks of San Chai before himself and the way she considers his emotions before her own, but in the case of their budding romance...it just wasn't going to work out this way. It's been past prime for one of them to speak up, but neither has had the courage.
San Chai admired the rich tone of the violin's melancholy song for a couple of minutes before entering the lower level sunroom. "Hua Zhe Lei. We need to talk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
all in all this fic is dying....and this chapter is proof. Rest assured, i'll try to make amends with the next chapters...because this was just...gross. SORRY!!!!!!!! (purity of heart is pretty good though!! go read that after this! please?) as always, REVIEW!
~GoOf~
San Chai:
There was something in his eye that I couldn't place. This isn't the first time I couldn't make sense of what he was feeling. Even though I've known him since we were little, there were so many times when I just couldn't figure Lei out. As we continue to stare at each other, I glimpse random emotions. Hurt. Anger. Longing. Sadness. Impossible! Why would he be sad?! He has Jing. His beautiful Jing, who I can't compare to. She's perfect for him, they belong together. So l need to grow up, suck it up, and be happy for them. Yesterday I was still unsure of what I felt about him. He's my best friend, and I should wish the best for him. Yet, why does it hurt to think of him with another? AH! Stop being selfish San Chai. Lei's happiness is all that matters. ARGH!
Lei:
Time stops as we continue staring at each other. I'm trying my best to stay calm. It isn't hard considering the fact that I can be an introvert sometimes. Damn though, it's hard hiding my emotions from San Chai. Sometimes she can read me like an open book. It rips to hear what happened between San Chai and Ah-Si from Ximen and Mei Zuo. Is it true, San Chai, about what happened between you and Ah-Si? Why can't I accept the fact that you love Ah-Si? After all, I pushed you toward him. I'll only thought of your happiness and never consider my own feelings. Yes, I love you. I'll always will. You're my best friend, and the one I truly love whole heartedly. Your happiness means everything to me. If it means letting you go, I'll do it. I wish I had realized sooner, told you sooner, but it's my burden to carry now.
Lei and San Chai broke out of their reverie at the sound of Mei Zuo's voice.
"Yo! San Chai! Lei! Are you two having a staring contest?!" asked Mei Zuo.
"Yeah, what's with the staring?" asked Ximen.
"Staring? Lei why are you staring at San Chai? San Chai why are you staring at Lei?" demanded Ah-Si.
"Shhhhh! Stop the yelling and questioning. It's my turn, where is Xiao Yo, Ximen?" asked San Chai.
"Morning!" came a little voice at the doorway.
"Gee you're early!" said San Chai.
"I could say the same for you. Where were you last night? I waited for you back at the room, but you didn't come back" said Xiao Yo.
"Sweetie, didn't you hear? San Chai was with Ah-Si last night, IN HIS ROOM!" said Ximen.
"Aiii! OW! Sannn Chai!!!" Ximen yelped in pain.
"I'm so sorry. Was that your foot?" San Chai cooed innocently.
"I-In his room?" stuttered Xiao Yo.
"Don't listen to these two hormonally charged idiots! It so happened that I fell asleep on the deck, and Ah-Si didn't know where to bring me, so he brought me back to his room. NOTHING happened. Now together all of you. N-O-T-H-I-N-G H-A-P-P-E-N-E-D. Come on, repeat after me you guys," instructed San Chai.
"Okay hardworking virgin, keep telling yourself that" Ximen said jokingly.
"Ah! I give up!"
"Lei, what do you think about our hardworking virgin's little lie?" asked Mei Zuo.
"It's none of my business. What she does doesn't involve me," Lei replied coolly. San Chai looked at him with a hurt expression.
"Uh, Lei? What's wrong? That was a bit unlike you, we're just joking around with San Chai," Ximen's tone was serious now.
"Later," Lei told the group.
"Lei," San Chai called after him. Lei stopped at the sound of her voice. [Turn around Lei and tell her you didn't mean what you said. You do care, you care so much it hurts.] But instead he continued on his way.
[What the hell is wrong with him today?] thought Ah-Si. Noticing the hurt look on San Chai's face, Ah-Si felt a pang at his heart. If looks could kill, Lei would've been dead already with the daggers Dao Ming Si was sending his way. Deciding to lighten things up, Ah-Si asked if anyone was interested in having any more pancakes or else he would eat them all.
"San Chai, eat! You're too skinny!" Ah-Si repeated. Giving him an angry look, she continued with her breakfast, but her mind was spinning in search of an explanation for why Lei had left and for his sudden coldness towards her.
"Lei..." San Chai whispered to herself. Hanging on her every sigh and motion, Ah-Si heard her whisper, and emotions stirred within him he didn't like.
"You know what, I'm stuffed. I'm going to finish packing up," San Chai excused herself from the table.
[I think Lei and I need to have a serious talk. I can't stand it when he retreats into a shell like this. Stupid. Where would he be?]
She darted around the ship for nearly twenty minutes, but there was no sign of Lei. Stopping to catch her breath, her ears honed in on a familiar sad melody. [Thank God for that violin, and his habit of playing it when he's upset. This stupid yacht's too big.] The irony of their friendship was that it always took some sort of drama to force them to face the reality of a situation. They are both dreamers, frequently in denial. It's heartfelt, the way Lei thinks of San Chai before himself and the way she considers his emotions before her own, but in the case of their budding romance...it just wasn't going to work out this way. It's been past prime for one of them to speak up, but neither has had the courage.
San Chai admired the rich tone of the violin's melancholy song for a couple of minutes before entering the lower level sunroom. "Hua Zhe Lei. We need to talk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
all in all this fic is dying....and this chapter is proof. Rest assured, i'll try to make amends with the next chapters...because this was just...gross. SORRY!!!!!!!! (purity of heart is pretty good though!! go read that after this! please?) as always, REVIEW!
