Title: Here Again
Author: Willow
Summary: The day of their return to Rosslyn has arrived and Toby's showing the strain.
Spoilers/Episode: Anything up to season 4, specifically ITSOTG & Noel.
Characters: Ensemble
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They all belong to Aaron Sorkin, NBC, John Wells and many others who aren't me.
Part II
Saturday
"Morning," Josh said when Will walked into the kitchen, "coffee?"
"Thanks," Will took a cup off him. "You're up early. "
"We've got senior staff at 10," Josh reminded him.
"This job takes some getting use to," Will commented.
"I know."
Will sat and drank the coffee, before looking over at Josh. "Don't get mad at me," he began.
"Why?" Josh asked suspiciously.
"Tonight, the Newseum...... "
"It's not a big deal," Josh insisted.
"I don't think that's true," Will said.
Josh stood up and washed his mug. "And you'd be right," he admitted.
"It's going to be difficult."
"It is," Josh agreed. "I'm going for a shower."
"Okay." Will watched Josh walk across the apartment and wondered whether he should have said anything.
Josh closed the bathroom door, turned the light on and started the shower. He undressed and looked in mirror. He traced the line of the scar that ran down the center of his chest, and then touched the entry wound. 'It's going to be very difficult,' he thought, before climbing into the shower.
"This is the most ridiculous thing we've ever done," Toby muttered as they walked to the Oval Office.
"What is?" CJ asked absently, as she tried to read a memo Josh had just given her on Kundu.
"Tonight," Toby clarified.
"Not as ridiculous as camping," Josh commented.
"Camping?" Will asked him.
"We went camping last year," Josh told Will. "It was a team building thing."
"Did you stay in tents?" Will asked.
"Secret Service insisted we stayed in cabins," Josh said as the walked up to Charlie's desk.
"He'll be ready for you in a minute," Charlie told them a little sullenly.
"What's up?" Josh asked him.
"What do you think?" Charlie snapped.
"Yeah," Josh agreed. "Toby thinks it's more ridiculous than camping," he smiled.
Charlie couldn't help but smile slightly, "I wouldn't go that far."
"Who actually went camping then?" Will asked.
"Me, Toby, Sam, CJ, Charlie, Donna, Margaret, Leo, The President and The First Lady."
"I don't remember," Will commented.
"You weren't with us," Josh reminded him.
"I meant, I don't remember seeing it in the press."
"It wasn't in the press. It was a secret," CJ told him.
"Where'd you go?"
"Shenandoah," Josh replied. "And don't ask how the hell it was kept a secret, 'cos I really don't know."
"It was fun," CJ said. "Charlie's just unhappy 'cos I beat him on the bike ride," she smiled.
"I was waiting for Sam," Charlie protested.
"That's not how Sam tells it," Josh smiled.
"Well you can hardly talk, you were at the back," Charlie laughed.
"I was enjoying the scenery," Josh replied with a small grin.
The door to the Oval Office opens and two men walk out. "You can go in now," Charlie told them.
"Enjoying the scenery?" CJ asked Josh, as they walked into the Oval Office. "Since when have you been a fan of the countryside?"
"You like the countryside, Josh?" Jed asked.
"He was just saying how much he enjoyed the camping trip, Mr President," CJ grinned.
"Then we should try and do it again. Will missed out last time."
"No that's fine, Mr President," Will insisted.
Jed smiled and then watched his senior staff seriously for a second. "We all set for tonight?"
"Yes, Sir," CJ told him.
"Toby?" Jed asked.
"The speech is finished," Toby muttered.
"I know, it's good," Jed told him, "all of it."
"We have to mention it," Toby said.
"Yes," Jed agrees.
"Mention what?" Leo asked.
"The shooting," Toby told him.
"Why do...... ?"
"If we have to do this, then we can't ignore what happened last time we were there," Toby snapped.
"Okay," Leo replied, giving Toby a concerned look. It suddenly occurred to him that they had all been so worried about how Josh was going to be tonight, that maybe they'd forgotten about Toby. Toby who spent weeks after the shooting obsessing about hate groups, until in the end it took Josh and the president to calm him down. Toby, who will never forget finding Josh bleeding from a gunshot wound, and who held Josh's limp body while he waited for help.
The meeting ended with Toby having said nothing else. Josh followed him into the outer office and tried to talk to him.
"This isn't anyone's fault you know," Josh said.
"Yeah," Toby muttered.
"Toby....... "
Toby turned to Josh, "How can you all be joking about it?" he asked angrily.
"What else....... ?"
"It isn't funny," Toby shouted.
"In here." Josh steered Toby into the Mural Room. "Calm down," he told him.
"Calm down?" Toby asked.
"We'll be there for two or three hours, then we'll come back here and get drunk," Josh told him.
"It's that easy is it?" Toby shouted.
"Will you stop yelling at me."
Toby glared at Josh. "I asked Leo why we agreed to do this."
"Yeah."
"It was you," Toby said. "You recommended to the President that we do this."
"Yes," Josh replied, his temper quickly fraying.
"Have you forgotten what happened........ ?" Toby yelled.
"Yes I have, can you remind me?" Josh shouted back. Toby was still glaring at him, and Josh's temper finally broke. "How the hell do you think I'm ever going to forget, Toby. How do you think any of us are? You're not the only one who doesn't want to do this you know." Josh lowered his voice and tried to take deep breaths. He could feel panic starting to spread through him, and he knew he had to get out of this room and back to his office, where he could calm down. "I've got work to do," he said quietly as he opened the door and left the room.
"Bonny, have you seen Will?" CJ asked an hour later.
"I think he's hiding in the mess."
"Hiding?"
"From Toby," Bonny indicated Toby's closed office door. "He's been getting worse all week, but today he's really been laying into Will. I feel quite sorry for him. No one deserves that much of Toby's wrath."
"What's he done?"
"He wrote most of tonight's speech."
"Well, okay, but isn't that his job?"
"Toby wanted to do it, but he's got the Energy speech to finish."
CJ nodded, "I'll go and talk to him."
"You're braver than me."
"I meant Will," CJ replied.
She found Will in the Mess, typing into his laptop. "Hiding?" she asked him.
"Yes," he admitted.
"His bark's worse than his bite," CJ said.
"Really?"
"No," she smiled. She felt she should explain though, "The shooting was very hard for all of us, but especially for Toby."
"I'd have thought it would have been hardest for Josh, but he isn't yelling at everyone who comes with five yards of him."
"True. But we all handle things differently." CJ remembered that Will had no idea about Josh's PTSD.
"I suppose," Will agreed. "I'm not insensitive to how you all feel you know."
"I didn't think you were," CJ assured him.
Will looked at his laptop screen for a second, before saying. "Toby thinks I shouldn't have written the speech because I wasn't there in 2000. But the speech is about journalism in the 21st century, not about August 7th 2000."
"I know," CJ said. "Do you know what happened?"
"It was all over the news."
"I meant to us."
"Only what was said at press briefings, so no, not really."
"Okay." CJ sat down across from him. "Actually it's really about what happened to Josh," she said.
"I know."
"When the shooting stopped we thought everyone was okay. We knew that the President was in his car, Zoey was in the second car and Leo in the third. We assumed that Josh was with Leo. That's Secret Service procedure if anything at all happens. The Secret Service evacuate the President, Leo and Josh to a secure location, it's called Bamboo."
"The location?"
"The plan."
"Ahh."
"Anyway Sam and I were together and we'd seen Toby and Charlie, so we knew they were okay. We just assumed....." she trailed off.
"I'm sorry you don't have to.... "
"You need to know this to understand what's wrong with Toby," CJ told him. "Toby had seen Leo leave and he knew that Josh wasn't with him, so he started to look for him. It was Toby who found Josh, Will. He saw him sat down and walked up behind him, he came round to his front and saw the blood. Then Josh collapsed and.... Toby thought he was dead." CJ paused and drew a steadying breath. "That's why tonight's hard for him."
"I didn't know," Will said. He hesitated for a moment and then admitted, "I don't think I helped with Toby's mood then."
"Why, what did you do?"
"I asked whether, if the shooting had happened here, would no one have come to work again."
"What did he say?"
"He said that one of you nearly didn't come to work again, that that was the point."
"And yet strangely, it's Josh who he's most angry with, because he recommended that we attend tonight," CJ commented.
Part Three .....
NOTE
I know that the Newseum in Rosslyn has been closed since March 2002, while they move to their new location. But by the time I'd found that out, I'd already written this - so please allow me some artistic license. Thank you :-)
