Disclaimer: While I do not own any of the Dragonlance heroes, I DID create the personalities of 'Squishy the Live One' and 'Norcyla the Mage'. Thus, using them in stories without my permission will result in a LOT of bitching and whining on my part.
Raistlin Majere: Have no fear; I have definite plans for Crysania's big confession in upcoming chapters. Ooo, this is going to be fun to write.
Embient: Let's just say the Revered Daughter is not above a little retribution…hmm, maybe I'm spoiling this…Nah.
Pen D. Fox and Alexia: Thanks again! I hope this chapter brings you lots of mirth and less disgust.
CHAPTER 6: THE EVILS OF ALCOHOL
Tika: It sounds like a woman, Dezra. I don't think we should leave her stranded out there.
Dezra: Fine. I just hope she's here to apply for a job as a waitress so we can finally get some help around here.
THE REDHEADED BARMAID OPENS THE DOOR, REVEALING THE SOAKED YOUNG LADY.
Magess: (shivering from the cold) Oh, good, I didn't have to resort to violent spell-casting after all.
Dezra: Eep!
Magess: Anyway, thanks for letting me in. It was really pouring out there.
Tika: You're drenched! Why don't you sit by the fireplace…(leading her to a table) Would you like anything to eat?
Magess: Some hot soup would be nice, if you have it.
Tika: We have some hearty rabbit stew left. I'm Tika Majere by the way, the owner of this inn. What were you doing traveling so late, and through such bad weather?
Magess: I was trying to find my way to a magic shop owned by a wizard called Jenna for an apprenticeship but I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere and then it started to pour. I'm Norcyla Cathgrim…and what are YOU staring at?
Dezra: Your hair…it's purple.
Norcyla: (darkly) Yes, I'm aware of that.
Dezra: (laughing self-consciously) Heh heh heh…I ment no offense, Miss. It suits you very well. Really!
Tika: Was that some weird effect from taking your magical test?
Norcyla: No, it was actually a cosmetic spell gone awry. Not everyone knows this, but platinum blonde is a really difficult shade to create.
A LARGE MAN APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY.
Caramon: Hey Dezra, I took out the trash like you wanted me to
(spies Norcyla) By the gods, a wizard is here!
Norcyla: Err, yes. Hello.
Caramon: (gripping her shoulders) Tell me, do you know Raistlin Majere? Is he all right? Is he eating fine? Is his marriage with Crysania stable? DOES HE EVER TALK ABOUT ME!
Tika: (covering her eyes) Dear gods, not again…
Norcyla: Raistlin? That creepy recluse that holds himself prisoner in the High Tower of Sorcery? No, I don't know him. I didn't even know he was married! By Lunitari, that woman must have a lot of patience…Hey, what are you staring at?
Caramon: Your hair, it's…
Norcyla: (exasperated) PURPLE! I know! I wake up every day and look in the mirror, so it's not like I haven't NOTICED it already, you big ox! Can I please just have a room for the night?
Tika: Certainly, just follow me.
THE BARMAID LEADS THE IRATE SORCORESS UPSTAIRS…
Caramon: What a temper. Think she's going through some womanly problems or something?
Dezra: Ugh! (slaps him in the arm)
IN THE GUEST BEDROOM… Norcyla: Ugh, maybe I should have at least waited for that soup. I'm starving…
Nuitari: (invisible and inaudible to the girl) Maybe I can do something to remedy that.
A PLATE OF BISCUITS COVERED WITH HONEY APPEARS ON THE NIGHTSTAND.
Norcyla: Oh…I didn't notice this when I came in (begins to eagerly dig into the food, before pausing)…Wait one minute, who's here!
Nuitari: Dammit.
Norcyla: (searching the under the bed and in the closet) Come on out, you creep! I can sense somebody here!
BACK IN THE TOWER OF SORCERY, DALAMAR HAS TAKEN THE GULLY DWARF TO THE TOWER DINING ROOM.
Bupu: Food! Never seen so much in The Pitt! But all look strange, specially fruit.
Dalamar: That is because Shalafi has them specially brought to him from exotic places all over Krynn.
Bupu: Who is…shuffley?
Dalamar: Raistlin.
Bupu: (annoyed) Him no shuffle! Him walk proper like everyone…except when cough is bad, but that easily cured with magic lizard. Want to see? (starts to fish through her sack)
Dalamar: No, thank you. Why don't you eat something?
Bupu: What this?
Dalamar: That's a mango, they come from the Isle of Mithas
Bupu: What this?
Dalamar: That's a breadstick, but I'm certain you've seen one before.
Bupu: What this?
Dalamar: That's a bottle of red wine.
Bupu: (pulls off cork) Smells good! Me drink….(chugs down half the bottle in two seconds)
Dalamar: (trying to wrench the bottle from her hands) No so much, Bupu! That drink is very strong!
Bupu: Oooo…me hic feel like floating. Where did hic head go…?
Dalamar:…Shalafi is going to have my hide for this one…
Bupu: (shaking fist) Him no hic SHUFFLE, mean hic man!
Dalamar: Oh, be quiet and drink your booze!
LATER, IN THE TOWER'S MASTER BEDCHAMBER, OUR TWO LOVEBRIDS LIE TANGLED IN THE SHEETS.
Raistlin: (panting) There…are you…happy now, you fiend?
Crysania: Oh, definitely (happily snuggles closer to him)
Raistlin: Watch...the scratches! I think you…tore my back to ribbons…
Crysania: Mmmm…I didn't hear you complaining earlier.
Raistlin: Well, excuse me if I if was a little 'preoccupied', Crysania, with you trying to maul me like a starving tigress. If only Elistan knew what a wild-cat his disciple was…(smiles faintly)
Crysania: You're actually smiling for once.
Raistlin: What? No.
Crysania: That was most definitely a smile!
Raistlin: …It was a sneer.
Crysania: Of course it was, darling. Now I'm going to sleep…
10 MINUTES LATER, RAISTLIN IS SLEEPING FAIRLY PEACEFULLY WHEN CRYSANIA GETS UP OUT OF BED AND SNEAKS ONE DOOR DOWN THE HALL TO A STUDY. PICKING UP A PIECE OF PARCHMENT, SHE BEGINS TO WRITE.
Crysania: "Dear Caramon and Tika, it's been awhile since we've seen each other last and I was hoping that we would be able to get together sometime for dinner. I would invite you here, but the journey through Shoiken Grove would probably be a nuisance for you. Is it all right if we come over this Saturday evening?
Cordially, Crysania Majere"
(puts the quill pen down) Now to mail this…
