Hera
Again I let him go! Why do I never bother to put two and two together and maybe think that he may be off with one of his - lady friends to have some 'fun'? Why do I never realise till it is too late? Honesty Hera you have got to get a life! And get a new husband while you're at it I told myself.
He will walk in that door any moment now and sweep me off my feet and say-
"Hera my queen of gods my love, my heart, my strawberry, my life" he said as he swept me off my feet
"Zeus dear" I smiled behind gritted teeth, my smile was like an iceberg, two thirds of it was still beneath!
"So" I said "Who was it this time?"
"What?" he said in that innocent voice he uses when he has been a bad little boy.
"Who was the poor girl you molested last night"
"Firstly, I did NOT molest her" .I snorted.
"Secondly, it was not last night, it was a few hours ago" My eyes widened he was 1208 for god sake how - oh right, Viagra.
"And thirdly it was not a girl, it was a-" he stopped mid sentence and went very red. I should have listened my mother told me I had married a dim- witted, brainless, lumbering, oaf. They say bad things happen when you marry your brother.
"Look honey; don't be mad I was only away because I had a conversation with a most charming girl-"
"Conversation, is that what you call it?" I snapped
He had had enough so he gave me his I'm king of the gods so I can do what I want so there neh neh neh neh neh look.
My god I hate my husband he just goes off and dose what he wants. I had a wee look at my memo pad to take my mind off the fact I was married to an lout/god/brother/(&^%£-##~-)(*/*.
Memo to Me Do not marry ones brother. PS: Ever PPS: Buy pork burgers for tea PPPS: Call mother PPPPS: Do NOT and I mean NOT let mother know she was right
Right I said to myself what to do, I decided to skip tea, I was getting a bit big round the waste anyway. Well too late for the first one, and the second one. So let's see what we have left
Memo to Me Do not marry ones brother. PS: Ever PPS: Buy pork burgers for tea PPPS: Call mother PPPPS: Do NOT and I mean NOT let mother know she was right
Right, so mother it was.
Oh crap.
I started to dial mums number 01456 8776482598034085388578456340033776354762355476235476654767547257446253745723 5475444579345795090685490680598690869869869689509586089860986098668427346572 3265447267547265472654723654723546354763547654236457264572634276.
I hate long distance calls.
"Hi mum it's me Hera"
Silence
"You know your daughter?"
Silence
"The one that marred her brother?"
Silence
"Zeus?"
"Oh, Hera how are you lass, I told you not to marry him"
Silence, she had hung up on me.
How dose she do that? Frankly it's scary. I hate that woman almost as much as I hate my husband, almost.
How did we get stuck together, Zeus and Me?
Again I let him go! Why do I never bother to put two and two together and maybe think that he may be off with one of his - lady friends to have some 'fun'? Why do I never realise till it is too late? Honesty Hera you have got to get a life! And get a new husband while you're at it I told myself.
He will walk in that door any moment now and sweep me off my feet and say-
"Hera my queen of gods my love, my heart, my strawberry, my life" he said as he swept me off my feet
"Zeus dear" I smiled behind gritted teeth, my smile was like an iceberg, two thirds of it was still beneath!
"So" I said "Who was it this time?"
"What?" he said in that innocent voice he uses when he has been a bad little boy.
"Who was the poor girl you molested last night"
"Firstly, I did NOT molest her" .I snorted.
"Secondly, it was not last night, it was a few hours ago" My eyes widened he was 1208 for god sake how - oh right, Viagra.
"And thirdly it was not a girl, it was a-" he stopped mid sentence and went very red. I should have listened my mother told me I had married a dim- witted, brainless, lumbering, oaf. They say bad things happen when you marry your brother.
"Look honey; don't be mad I was only away because I had a conversation with a most charming girl-"
"Conversation, is that what you call it?" I snapped
He had had enough so he gave me his I'm king of the gods so I can do what I want so there neh neh neh neh neh look.
My god I hate my husband he just goes off and dose what he wants. I had a wee look at my memo pad to take my mind off the fact I was married to an lout/god/brother/(&^%£-##~-)(*/*.
Memo to Me Do not marry ones brother. PS: Ever PPS: Buy pork burgers for tea PPPS: Call mother PPPPS: Do NOT and I mean NOT let mother know she was right
Right I said to myself what to do, I decided to skip tea, I was getting a bit big round the waste anyway. Well too late for the first one, and the second one. So let's see what we have left
Memo to Me Do not marry ones brother. PS: Ever PPS: Buy pork burgers for tea PPPS: Call mother PPPPS: Do NOT and I mean NOT let mother know she was right
Right, so mother it was.
Oh crap.
I started to dial mums number 01456 8776482598034085388578456340033776354762355476235476654767547257446253745723 5475444579345795090685490680598690869869869689509586089860986098668427346572 3265447267547265472654723654723546354763547654236457264572634276.
I hate long distance calls.
"Hi mum it's me Hera"
Silence
"You know your daughter?"
Silence
"The one that marred her brother?"
Silence
"Zeus?"
"Oh, Hera how are you lass, I told you not to marry him"
Silence, she had hung up on me.
How dose she do that? Frankly it's scary. I hate that woman almost as much as I hate my husband, almost.
How did we get stuck together, Zeus and Me?
