A/N: Well, this is it! Our stars meet at last. I'm warning you now; if you're expecting this to be a clichéd, soppy love-at-first-sight thing, you're dead wrong. I was tempted, I admit. But I'm writing this to be true to the plot, and this is how I think Syaoran would have felt. It's not pretty, but it's realistic. I hope you find it was interesting to read as I found it to write.

By the way; sorry about the posting delay. I got in trouble with the police... bad me. I was banned from posting for a week. Oops.


Monday 11th June, 1998

I don't believe it. I DON'T BELIEVE IT. How DARE she- how could this have happened? No more than an insignificant- not even aware of magic- not trained or brought up to respect the Clow- how on EARTH? She's a liar. She MUST be. Keroberos would not- he would NEVER- I just don't UNDERSTAND how-

Syaoran! Stop! I don't understand you. What-

this came about! How dare she? HOW DARE SHE? How has this HAPPENED? I just can't begin to unde-

SYAORAN!

Thank you. Now CALM DOWN, dear boy, and tell me what is the matter.

Klao, something terrible has happened that I don't understand. Everything has gone wrong!

Syaoran, please. Slow down. I can hardly make out the words, you're writing so fast. Start at the beginning. What time is it?

It's five o' clock. I came home immediately after school to speak to you.

Alright. Now, did something happen at school?

Yes. It's changed everything. Everything's gone so horribly wrong, and now I don't know what on earth to do-

The beginning, Syaoran. The beginning.

The beginning. Yes. Just… let me get my thoughts in order?

Alright. Well, I got up early, in plenty of time, and spent a while preparing myself. I put on my amulet, packed the Rashinban and element summons. I didn't really expect anything to happen at school, but I know I have to be ready for all occasions. I made my way to school fine, found the Headmaster's office, and was told which class to go to.

I was standing outside the door of classroom, waiting to be introduced, when it hit me. It was like a tidal wave; it nearly knocked me over. Magic. Raw, unchecked magic. There was something in that room that made all four walls glow. I was shocked. I heard the teacher, Terada-sensei, call my name, so I pulled open the door and went in.

There was a girl. I found myself staring at her even before I recognised what she looked like. Just a girl, with very green eyes, it could have been any schoolgirl in the world. And all the magic, all the power I'd felt since the moment I came to Tomoeda, was drawn towards her like a compass to the pole. It felt like time stopped. She was looking at me like everyone else was, but her expression seemed almost fearful, and for a fraction of a second I almost thought her eyes held some kind of recognition, as if she'd remembered something long forgotten, or something in a dream.

After a few moments I realised that Terada-sensei was asking me to come to the front of the class. I never stopped glaring at the girl. The waves of magic were like a magnet. Terada-sensei wrote my name on the board, and told the class where I was from. Then he pointed to a seat behind the girl and said, "The seat behind Kinomoto is free."

Kinomoto.

All morning I glared into the back of her head. She was nervous and clumsy, nothing like someone who had been properly trained through their magic. Yet she must have been aware of the power centred on her, she must have been – how could she not? I wracked my brains all morning. This was Clow magic. The unthinkable was slowly starting to seep into my mind; this bumbling, timid, garish girl, could she actually have something to do with the Clow Cards?

Ridiculous. Outrageous. Insane.

I felt like I was floating in a sea of madness. But I remembered what you told me, Klao, I had to follow up all possibilities and consider all options, however small. So when the bell rang for lunch, I followed her down the stairs and put my hand on her shoulder.

She leapt a mile and gave a little scream. I told her to come outside with me. She looked terrified. I pulled her to an empty patch of grass round the corner from the playground, so no-one would see, then I took out the Rashinban and spoke the incantation.

The Rashinban glowed, brighter than I've ever seen it before, and a beam of blinding light shot out immediately straight at Kinomoto's heart.

It was her. She has the Clow Cards. There was a numbness in me somewhere; it could have been everywhere. I shouted, "You have them!"

She was quivering with fright. "How did you know?" she whispered.

I held up the Rashinban. "This compass was created to find the Clow Cards. Give them to me!" I have a right to them. I have far more right than she ever could, even if she lived to be a hundred. I am Clow Reed's descendant, I have been chosen, I have spent my WHOLE LIFE preparing for this! I just- I should hold them by RIGHT! She SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM TO ME!

Her expression seemed to stiffen a little, although I noticed she still shook. "I can't," she said, almost defiantly. "I promised Kero-chan I would collect all of the Clow Cards."

I felt as if she'd slapped me across the face. My whole world turned upside down and inside out. Cerberus. That dishonouring, demeaning name she used referred to Cerberus, the golden beast of the Seal. And he… he had made her the Cardcaptor.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't see. There was a roaring in my ears. I don't understand. I don't understand any of it. I was prepared for battles, I was prepared for being hurt or even killed, I was prepared to go up against any villain to return the Clow Cards and make the world safe. But the idea that I would get here and find that someone – a ten-year-old girl, with less training than the humblest of our servants – had stolen my role, my title, my honour, my destiny; that was something that I never in a thousand years had expected.

I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach and left my lying to gasp in the dirt.

I heard myself speaking. It was like some kind of automatic pilot had taken over my body. "Cerberus? The golden beast of the Seal? Why does he allow a child, with no magical training or discipline, to hold the Cards?"

She bit her lip. "Kero-chan doesn't have any magic to get bigger, that's why."

Kero-chan, Kero-chan. I wanted to scream at her, hit her, shout at her to honour him with the respect he deserves. Kero-chan! Bitterness welled up in me until I felt I was drowning in it. "Cerberus' symbol is the Sun, which rules over Fire and Earth." I've been taught these things from birth. It should be me. It SHOULD BE ME. "Don't you have those cards?"

She shook her head.

"How long have you been searching?"

"Since April," she said quietly.

Since April? The Clow Cards have been loose in a city for TWO MONTHS, in which time any number of disasters could have occurred, and this – this girl, hadn't even bothered to work hard enough to lower the risk? "You've been searching for two months and you still don't have all of them?"

She looked tired, and slumped by the fence. "That's right…" then she looked up and frowned inquisitively. "But how do youknow about the Clow Cards?"

I was almost boiling over. I was trembling with rage. For this girl, with no magical training or knowledge, with no ancient charge of duty and destiny, to sit there and casually inquire about my involvement in Clow's magic, a thing I have been born into a studied with honour and dedication all my life – how DARE she? "None of your business!" I spat. "I'm looking for the rest." There was damage done enough already, without letting her spend a single minute more with the Cards in her possession. "Hand them over!"

She backed away. "I can't!" she cried. It's something I promised Kero-chan!"

The mention of that disrespectful name pushed me over the edge. I can't ever remember feeling so cheated, so furious… I saw her hand fly to her pocket. I marched over and grabbed her wrist, pulling her arm away and reaching for her coat. "Give them to me!"

"I can't!" she wailed again, close to tears.

I would have taken them from her. They are mine to hold by birth and by right. But at that moment I heard shouts behind me. A young girl's voice, crying "Sakura-chan!" and an older male voice, snarling "What are you doing to my sister?"

I whipped round immediately to see a boy of about seventeen leaping down from the fence. I moved smoothly into a defensive stance, as did he. I was seeing red. I would have fought him there and then, I wanted to, I wanted to hit something, beat and tear at anything that came close. On the edge of my hearing I could hear Kinomoto and the other girl murmuring. Kinomoto called out "Onii-chan!" to the boy. Her brother.

He was looking with a practised eye at my stance, and questioned whether it was a Chinese form of martial arts. I didn't answer, I just wanted him to rush at me, I felt as if I might explode. Come on, I was silently screaming, come on, just fight!

Then we heard the fence rattle again as another boy dropped to the ground beside Kinomoto, offering her and her friend nikuman. He turned, holding out a meat-bun, and saw us.

I don't know what happened, but I felt all the rage and violence drain away like water. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, I couldn't see anything but this strange boy as he walked towards us and held his arm out to me. "Here, a nikuman!"

I've never felt like that before. Something somewhere between fear, apprehension, shock and unbearable heat.

I fled. And I came right home to you.

Syaoran, I… I don't know what to say.

I feel like I've been flung into someone else's world. This isn't what should happen. I was expecting anything but this. I don't understand, it's a joke, a trick, or a mistake… it has to be…

That's it. This is a mistake. This is more urgent and desperate than it ever was – I MUST find Cerberus. This Kinomoto - thing - has done something, I don't know how, to trick him into proclaiming her Cardcaptor. Maybe she's just pretending to be clueless, and actually has him in her power, and forced him to give up the seal key… but no, she's just a little girl, she's weak; she may have magic but she has no idea what to do with it. She must have tricked him then. She could even have posed as me; after all, any one of my family could have been chosen by Mother for this quest.Cerberus might not necessarily have been expecting a boy. She must have somehow tricked him into believing it was her that was sent to retrieve the Cards-

Syaoran, I know this is hard, and I know you're in shock, but you might have to accept that this girl, Kinomoto, has truly been chosen by Keroberos-

No! No, Klao! You don't know! You don't understand, the years and years of dedication, the work; I've given my entire life up for a role like this! There is no way an ordinary girl with no training or lineage could be randomly chosen as a Cardcaptor by the Seal Beast! This is not right, and I'm putting a stop to it! Somehow, she's cheated me out of my destiny, and I will not lie down and play dead! She must be STOPPED!

Please, Syaoran, please, I'm asking you as both a mentor and a friend; give this girl a chance-

I don't believe this!

Syaoran-

You, Klao, you of all people, who I trust more than anyone, are saying this to me? How could you? I thought you understood the weight my destiny carries with me!

Please, Syaoran, I do understand, I truly do, but there are some things that we are powerless to change-

I don't believe this. I trusted you. I thought you were on my side. Now you're telling me that this despicable impostor is the true Cardcaptor, and deserves it more than I do.

Of course I'm not saying that! There's no-one who deserves it more than you. But listen, and try to hear what I am telling you. Destiny moves through strange paths. Doubtless this turn of events was fated to be; one day you may even be glad of it. If Keroberos has proclaimed this girl Cardcaptor, it is for a reason, and you must accept it.

No. It's a mistake. You might not understand about the Cards, Klao, and you might not know the weight and impact they have on my family, but nevertheless I never expected this betrayal from you.

No, Syaoran! You're in shock. I am simply trying to tell you the truth; in the long run you'll see how. I am on your side. This isn't betrayal; one day you'll know.

Right. I understand.

Don't go cold. Anger won't help, don't you see?

Of course. I see what I should have seen weeks ago. Excuse me, Sir. A storm has been gathering for some hours now, and I am almost certain I feel Clow's magic emanating from it. I am going to investigate it, and then find Keroberos and sort out this mess once and for all.

Syaoran, wait-

Monday 11th June, 1998 (later)

Klao.

Syaoran! I was afraid you wouldn't write again. I want you to know that I am on your side, and have been from the start-

No, Klao, it's alright. You don't need to say that. I know you weren't betraying my trust, and I'm sorry for the things I said. It was wrong of me to lash out at you.

You went out to look for Kinomoto.

Yes.

And did you find your answers?

She's the Cardcaptor. It's plain. I might as well go back to Hong Kong; there's nothing left for me here now.

Oh, Syaoran. Tell me what happened.

After I slammed you (I'm sorry) I put on my ceremonial robes, changed my amulet into the sword, and took out the Rashinban. I spoke the incantation and followed the beam of light to the clock tower. There were flashes of lightning and pealing booms everywhere. It was obviously the Thunder Card.

I took out the element summons and used Wind to lift me to the spire of the tower. Then I saw her. Kinomoto. She was flying on what could only have been the Sealing staff – about four foot long with the detail of a bird's head at one end. Gigantic wings spread from the eyes; I can only assume she must have been using the Fly card. She was chased by streaks of lightning and was hard-pressed to stay in the air. She swerved towards the tower – I hid myself behind it – and landed on the slates with a clatter. She was talking breathlessly to something I couldn't quite see; it looked a bit like a tiny winged teddy-bear or plush toy. I ignored it; this day couldn't possibly get any more surreal than in already was. Anyway, Kinomoto seemed scared stiff.

"But what's the original shape of Thunder?" she questioned the plush toy frantically.

"Thunder is really-" it began to answer in a high voice, but I'd had enough.

"You don't even know that?" I said loudly.

Kinomoto jumped a mile (AGAIN – no self-control) and gasped "Li-kun!"

I ignored her and unsheathed my sword as a bolt of lightning snaked towards us. Time to show this joke of a girl how real magic is wielded.

I cried, "Thunder God, answer my call!"

The glow of magic rushed through me and a perfectly controlled burst of lightning sprang from my sword. I almost felt relieved; everything that had happened throughout the day had practically made me forget the power I have at my command. Here was something real and familiar and warm – my magic.

The blast swept the Thunder Card to the ground, where it began to gather itself into its true form. I have to admit; even I was a little staggered at the sheer size and ferocity of it. But it was no time to stand frozen like a rabbit caught in a headlight, like Kinomoto. I leapt from the tower to the ground. Behind me I heard Kinomoto blurt "Just like my dream!" I still have no idea what she was talking about.

I ran to the edge of the dipped courtyard. The Thunder Beast was slowly drawing itself up to its full height, disarmed by the blast I'd used against it. Blue snakes of electricity crackled over its body. Kinomoto was cowering behind me, whimpering, "It looks scary…" I loathed her for saying that. Even Mei Ling masters her fear when she has to.

I called over my shoulder, "You catch Thunder after you change it to its original form. It's the same with all the Cards. You don't even know that?" Every moment I was more and more baffled as to why this incompetent person was the one holding the Sealing Staff. And angry.

The little teddy-type creature was hovering next to Kinomoto. I was beginning to wonder if I was hallucinating. "I was just going to explain that," it snapped.

I ignored it. Maybe it would go away. Whatever it was.

Thunder was standing firm again, crackling and shimmering, turning towards us. I didn't feel fear; exhilaration, wonder perhaps, but no fear. It was a truly awesome creature. I took the opportunity to admire the Card while it was still untamed. Behind me, Kinomoto took out another Card and held it to me. It was the Windy.

It's just so… unfair, for lack of a better word. She doesn't know anything about this ancient duty at all. If she did, she would realise that Windy, the gentle spirit, cannot stand up to Thunder, a stronger force of the firmament. I made sure she knew this, not very kindly either I might add. She told me she'd caught other cards by pinning them down with Windy.

The small hallucination squeaked that it wasn't prepared to forgive the derogatory term with which I had addressed Kinomoto. Again, I ignored it. I was so tempted to take the Card from her, or ask her which other cards she had. But I won't give her the satisfaction of knowing I want the knowledge she has.

Thunder was advancing. It was, to me, a truly beautiful creation. But it had to be sealed. And furious and loath though I was to admit it, it was the Kinomoto girl who had the Staff, and so she would have to rob me of the honour of doing the deed.

At least I would be the one directing the operation, if nothing else. I said curtly, "Do you have the Shadow Card?"

She brightened. "Yes," she said, taking it out.

"Alright." I raised my sword once more. "Petals of wind, answer my call!"

Thunder was almost on top of us when the spell blasted it back into the courtyard. "Now!" I shouted.

Kinomoto ran in front of me. She had a certain determination on her face. She did something, some quick flick of the wrist, that sent the Card spinning out in front of her, while she twirled the wand around her head. I have to say that she handled it… pretty well. Maybe she's a baton-twirler or something. As the Card rose in front of her, she brought the Seal down hard into its centre.

Instantly magic exploded around me. It almost knocked me out. The aura was so intense, I swooned where I stood. I saw a circle of light glow at her feet, and recognised it as Clow's magic circle. Something painful stabbed through me. This was where I thought I would be, what I would be doing. I bit my lip to stop myself crying out, and cut it by mistake. I tasted blood in my mouth.

She called out. Her voice was slightly different. "Shadow Card, your mistress Sakura commands you. Release and dispel!"

'Your mistress Sakura'. So that was her name, anyway. I clenched my fists. She shouldn't be their mistress. I should be their master.

A rush of darkness erupted from the Card. It swarmed along the courtyard and enveloped Thunder completely; only a few piercing beams of light shone out from between the shades. Kinomoto ran to the top of the steps, lifted the Sealing Staff, and cried, "Return the guise you were meant to be in! Clow Card!"

It was incredible. It was like the spirits were just sucked into the Staff. Light pierced and wind rushed. Then it was all over, and two cards lay on the ground at Kinomoto's feet. Some girl ran up to her holding a video camera; Tomiya or something, a friend from school. A non-magical person. Doesn't Kinomoto have any sense of responsibility? Obviously, she thinks Cardcaptoring is a fun game, something to make her popular that she can bring her friends along to show off to.

Anyhow, curiosity overcame me at last. "So, that's the Sealing Staff," I said, examining it. "But you really don't know anything, do you?" It's true. She doesn't. She shouldn't be Cardcaptor, she just shouldn't.

The small yellow winged teddy-bear popped up from behind her. It squeaked, "Don't ask for the impossible! It isn't that long since Sakura started collecting the Cards."

I'd had enough. Whatever the thing was, it obviously wasn't a hallucination, worse luck. "What is that?" I snapped.

Kinomoto looked blank. "That's Kero-chan."

For a moment I wasn't sure if I'd heard her right. But then it sank in, and I reeled. I actually reeled. This tiny teddy-bear, this ridiculous little soft toy, was Cerberus, the Guardian Beast of the Seal.

I almost felt more betrayed than I did when I found someone else in my place as Cardcaptor. At least then it was only a matter of personal loss. But this, this was like all the traditions I'd grown up to revere had been pulled out of me and stamped into the mud. The Guardian Beast was not, as I imagined, a majestic picture of grace, power and beauty.

It felt as if someone had slapped an age-old god across the face.

"Cerberus, the Beast of the Seal?" I whispered, barely able to speak. "The strongest Guardian Beast with the golden eyes… is this plush toy?"

That's when the thing lunged, and bit my finger. Hard.

I left.

And now I'm back here. My finger is bleeding quite a bit.

Syaoran, I'm so sorry.

Don't be. There's no good it will do. It's just beginning to sink in, really. I'm not the Cardcaptor. Some clumsy, cowardly, incompetent girl is. All my childhood visions of the noble and awe-inspiring guardians have shattered and been trampled in the mud. Everything is wrong. I came all this way – not just to Japan, but through my whole life – for nothing.

That's not true. You have a valuable part to play here. Think how your knowledge and experience could help this girl.

Oh, so I'm her lackey now. Wonderful. My destiny fulfilled at last.

I know how crushed you are by this, Syaoran, I truly do understand. But think of how you could - Syaoran? Your writing's blurring. Did you spill something?

Syaoran? You're not – you're not crying, are you?

Don't be ridiculous. Goodnight, Klao.


A/N: I feel I really ought to give a special thank you to everyone who has reviewed Yin And Yang (Cherry Lee, Peacewish, Crystal Star, eternaldarkness, molten-amber, Becki and Heather). It's a big project, and one I intend to finish; slowly, maybe, but I'll get there in the end. Cheers especially to Peacewish and Cherry Lee for their continued support you're both cracking people! Thanks for pointing out that I'd missed Syaoran's cameo in the Silent Card episode, Peacwish. I really ought to be more attentive. I'll add it in sometime in the near future.

Again, cheers hope it's been entertaining. Next part out when I'm free of revision. Oh hateful revision.

Rumms x