Disclaimer: I don't own FY. And I hope you're happy I said that.

Well, here we go. The next chapter. I still have no idea where this is going, so hang with me, if there's no updates for a while (and believe me, there won't be many after Christmas, considering homework and the play I'm now in, which is now my life. Wait, now I have no life now, it belongs to 'Fiddler on the Roof', as presented by my high school… and guess who's a Russian in the play…. at least with no lines, since everyone's Russian in the play!), or it gets corny. I have a basic idea (as stated how many times?!), but there's no plot line. At least yet. And before I start with my ramblings, I'll start this now….

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"Miaka, you really need to learn English," Sage said to me a few days later. "It'll be a big help to you, and what if Michael, myself, or Heather isn't here? And what will happen when you leave here?"

Now, why don't we put it this way, in a non-sarcastic way: I hated school with a passion. I hated learning about the past, and new vocabulary words in Japanese, and English? I hated English with such a passion… and now I live here, in America, where the first language of most of the people is English. Now I'm wondering what I got myself into, moving here to America, from the only land I've know, Japan (well, besides the incident inside the book, at least!), and I've only got one thing to show from it, barely a month after: a lost husband. I couldn't tell you how many nights I've stayed up, simply because I couldn't sleep, and wondered if we hadn't moved here how different our lives would have been. But I wouldn't have known about the rebirth of my former seishi if I hadn't moved. I wonder if everyone is out there. I only know about Mitsukake, Chiriko, and quite possibly Hotohori, since I do know Houki. I'm still wondering about Chichiri, Tasuki, and lastly Nuriko. I even wonder if Suzaku is merciful enough to allow Tamahome to be reborn once again, although I strongly doubt it. But we broke the odds once…

"Miaka?" I snapped my attention back to earth, only to see not only Sage, but Onii-chan and Mayo-chan also staring at me, their eyes all wondering where I was. When did they get here?

"I'm here!" I cried out cheerfully, much to my dismay. I don't feel very cheerful anymore, and what I do show isn't real; it's more forced than pure happiness. What I wouldn't give to strangle that man who killed my Taka, even though it would be so unlikely of me. I had only felt this way once, when Suboshi followed Nakago's orders and had slain Tamahome's family. Although I had long forgiven Suboshi, it was still difficult to forgive Nakago, and I still had a certain… hatred, I would have to say… for Nakago. Maybe with time, I could forgive him, but I could never forgive that man.

"Well, how are you feeling right now?" I heard Onii-chan ask me. I nodded slightly, and I think he understood what it meant: decent. I've felt- at least to Onii-chan- decent since I've woken up here.

"Well, what do you feel like doing today?" I shrugged, and Onii-chan began talking once again. I missed half of it, just staring past Onii-chan, past the window, past the buildings, past everything. I didn't care anymore about what Onii-chan was saying, but drifted, rather. I wasn't here, I was somewhere else, most likely the book, where I was once again young, and I was with everyone. I was once again the Suzaku no Miko, and was respected more than I wished I were, because I hadn't wished for all the respect the people have given me. Once again, I was fighting against my best friend, but it was when I met everyone, the one's who changed my life the most: my seishi. Is it possible to miss them as much as I miss them now? I wonder how they would react to Taka's death.

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"Well, Miaka," I heard Houki say to me a few days later. Sage was out for the day, mainly for taking the day off. Good for her, she deserves it. "Sage is still working on getting you out. Remember that couple that she got to talk to you?" I nodded, wondering where this was going. "Well, the husband couldn't make it, but Sage and I got the wife to come somehow. Do you mind meeting her?" Maybe. And who is this person? Wait, what is wrong with me? I'm so cross all of a sudden! Miaka, would you stop being so stupid!?

"De- demo…" I started, but Heather cut me off.

"Don't worry- Kayla practically grew up in Japan. You'll be fine!" Heather said, as she ushered in a woman, with long, light blue-ish hair, and bright, golden eyes. While she was dressed simply, she held nothing but the purse in her arms. She smiled at me, and I smiled back while Heather introduced the two of us. I raised my legs up (while my legs where still partially numb, I could move them slightly, even though it did have a tendency to cause a flash of pain run through my legs. And walking was still out of the question!), and Kayla sat down by me, as Heather excused herself to check on some of her other patients.

"Well…" I started off, but Kayla cut me off.

"To tell you the truth, I actually have no idea why I'm here. Sage and Heather- who I've been friends with since high school- asked me to come here to talk to you, despite the rule that you can't get too involved with your patients. Seems like you're special to them. Wonder why." Maybe it's because of the past lives… like Mitsukake and Chiriko… but who is Kayla? Or is she no one? I wonder… Maybe it's someone from the past, someone I never met. Or maybe she's not.

"Then… why did you come- no offense!"

"It's ok!" Kayla said to me. "Really, I don't mind." She laughed for a moment, but sobered quickly. "I came because I know that both Sage and Heather would be after me if I didn't come." She stopped for a moment, and laughed. "Not really, but I did promise them that I would come and talk, and I'm not one to break promises."

"That makes sense." We both stopped for a moment, and we stared at each other. I couldn't recall seeing someone like Kayla, but I knew that I had seen someone who looks like her, although I couldn't remember who it was. I remembered every person from the book, and Kayla wasn't one of the people I met, although I knew I had seen her before.

"Umm… this is going to sound strange, but have we met before?" Kayla looked at me, and smiled at my question.

"It doesn't sound strange at all, but I don't recall meeting you before." Oh. Well, it was a stupid question. No one from the book remembered me, and if Kayla was from the book, she didn't remember.

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Well, Kayla and I spent the day talking about almost nothing. The one thing Kayla had been sent to talk to me about- Taka- was an hour-long conversation. I had cried so many tears then, but was shocked to see Kayla crying at one point, especially when she heard about the crash- from my point of view. After that one hour, everything had lightened up- not only the conversation, but my mood too. While I hadn't told Kayla everything, it was still a relief to talk- even if it was just a bit- about losing Taka. And, what confused me was how much Kayla understood, despite her happy life. It was as if she had felt it before, although, judging from what I had heard from her, she had nothing bad happen to her- or someone close to her. But, nonetheless, it was still nice to meet someone new. And, I re-learned some English, making life much easier on me.

"Miaka, are you still up?" I looked up, and there was Heather. Wasn't she supposed to go home a while ago?

"What are you still doing here? Aren't you supposed to be home now?" I asked her innocently. Heather sighed, and answered me.

"Someone came in the E.R. before I was supposed to leave, and they needed me. Can't exactly say no to my boss, can I?" I smiled at her, and Heather sat on the end of my bed.

"So, how'd it go with Kayla earlier?"

"Fine." Simple, one word answer. That worked. Heather smiled at me.

"Kayla thought the same thing too. Shame you couldn't meet her husband. He's really nice, and a lot of fun to be with. I bet he'd get you smiling in a second." Heather's eyes sparkled from smiling, and she looked as if she was remembering. "Plus, you'd probably relate with him somehow. I have no idea how he understands people, but he just seems to have a gift with talking to people and helping them." I nodded, and remembered how good Chichiri was at talking to me and giving advice.

Heather and I spent the next few minutes talking about merely nothing, until Heather noticed the time and jumped up, her family in mind, while calling out an apology for leaving so quick. I smiled, and waved at her as she hastily put on her jacket, and waved a good bye at me. I pulled my knees up to my chest, and laid my head on my chest.

For the first time in who knows how long, I had felt lonely. I had no idea why, but I wanted to be with someone. It didn't matter who it was, but I just wanted someone to talk to. I sighed, and remembered Yui-chan, more than half way across the world. I smiled slightly, and picked up the phone, intent on calling my best friend.

After the first few moments of inquiring about each other, Yui-chan and I hastily shifted the conversation to me. We talked for an hour, until Yui-chan needed to leave for work (much to the dismay of Tetsuya-san!), and the entire time we spoke, our discussion focused on the surface. I didn't mention any of the heartache from losing Taka, and in fact, I didn't mention it to Kayla either. But, talking to Yui-chan was a relief. I knew that she was upset that I hadn't dug deeper inside and told her anything, but I think she allowed it due the fact we were talking over the phone, the fact I wasn't known for expressing pure pain easily, and the fact that the wound was still too fresh to leave out in the open. I hadn't wanted to talk about each little emotion I went through those first few days of knowing I had lost Taka, and I knew Yui-chan respected that. Losing Taka had to be the most painful experience of my life, and as I had heard from countless people, when I want to talk about it, I will.

After Yui-chan and I had hung up on each other, I laid on my side, just remembering. I remembered Taka, his smile, his laugh, his concern for everyone, his habit of money-grubbing. Mostly, however, I remembered his undying love for me. I laid there for what seemed like hours, in another world, it seemed, just remembering, and listening to my tears fall to the sheets.

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"Miaka!" I heard Sage say in shock as she entered my room. I turned to her, and stared for a moment, as her slim body occupied one side of the door, as her mind fought between running to me and checking me over, seeing what I was panicking about, or just staying there, letting me explain. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Just a dream." Liar, my mind yelled, as it fought to regain the breath I had lost from the panic I awoke in, just from remembering that dream. What was it about?

"Are you sure?" Sage gave me a skeptical look, and I nodded at her, as she walked over, giving me the daily medication I need to take, hopefully that would help regain all feeling and nerves in my legs. As I took the tiny pills, I tried to not hyperventilate and stay calm, so I wouldn't choke on the pills, despite their size.

I had actually woken up a few minutes ago, but if Sage hadn't opened the door when she did, I doubt I would have regained my breath then; the dream was that terrifying. Of course, it wasn't the boogieman, just like little children had dreamt and ran crying to their parent's room when they had woken up, but it was still nerve racking. It had to be a dream, considering Taka was in it… but who said…

"Miaka, are you sure you're alright?" Sage said to me. She had sat down on the edge of my bed, and was staring at me with a very skeptical look, as if my lying wasn't working, and she really thought I was scared. I was, actually, but I'm not in the mood to admit it. At least right now, that is.

In the dream, I had seen Taka, standing there, as if he was waiting for something. I cried out to him, and he turned to me, and held out his arms, waiting for me to rush into them and hold him close, until I decided to let go of him. As I rushed toward him, the clearer he got, and the more hi disappeared, until the time I reached him, when he had completely disappeared. I turned around; trying to find him, see where he was, until I heard a familiar, yet strange voice cry out my name. When I had tried to see who it was, I awoke in a panic.

As I regained my breath, I slowly began to let go of my chest, which I had clutched in fear. Sage watched me carefully, not trying to interfere and scare me, which might cause a relapse and help me hyperventilate again. As I regained all sense, I gave Sage a weak smile, and took another deep breath, trying to forget what I had saw in the dream. I mean, it couldn't mean anything, right?

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I think I am. It was just a dream."

As I kept breathing, trying to keep calm, I noticed the door open, and Heather walk in. However, I hadn't noticed the man behind her.

"I'm so sorry if I'm interrupting anything, but Sage, do you have tha-" Heather said, as Sage and I looked up.

"Oh! Yeah, I have it. Do you want it now?" Sage said, her hands going through her pockets, until she found a few folded papers. Heather nodded, and Sage gave her the papers, and Heather handed the papers to the man behind her. As the man took the papers, he stood in the light, which reflected his brown hair and eyes. I stared at him, until it hit me. I knew it was him, but did he know who he was? That he was once the emperor of Konan, and my seishi Hotohori?

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Whee! Done! Got it done at last! I know I could've done better at that last part, but…

And please review for me!!! I'll get the chapters out much faster if you do, and I'll feel special too! Ok, that last reason was pathetic, but please? I don't care if it's 10 words, or a thousand, but please do!!!!!

Thanks for reading! Ja!

~Frenchie