Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi is not mine. It belongs to a bunch of companies, and I am not a part of any of them.
Well... hello! All I'm saying about my life before I begin to babble is that even tho I have an evil play director, I love doing Fiddler On The Roof. The best part is being backstage with my friends and stage crew, since we have some weird people on stage and in the play. And the best part is that I don't do anything. I walk across the stage, and that's it so far. Maybe I'll get another job, like crashing the wedding!
Anyways... next part!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the weeks went by, I saw Nuriko almost every day. Each time, he came bursting with more than enough energy for the both of us, and our smiles were always wider. He always came with something to tell, be it a memory from the past, or a story he's working on. And each time he came, I revealed more about what happened after he had died, and what had happened after Tenkou tried to take over the book, as well as rapidly improved my English. He had also learned of the book, and we had spent over an hour on theories about the book, and if everyone had existed, and weren't characters from a book. The only thing we came up with was that everyone and everything in the book was real, but the book made it possible to go between the two worlds.
However, during that time, my legs still continued to bother me, as well as my doctor and nurses. No one had a good grasp on what was going on, and why this was happening. All I knew was that it was probably an infection, and they kept me on drugs all day and night. That still didn't help though, and it increased my time with doctors, as well as kept me in the hospital even long. Not that much fun. The only thing keeping me from running away was my legs, which refused to work, and the constant visits from Nuriko, Onii-chan, and Mayo-chan, as well as Sage and Heather keeping me sane when no one was there with me.
Between my visits with Nuriko, and anyone else, and especially at night, I sat alone, thinking about the past. According to quite a few people, I had lately been spending too much time thinking about what had already happened, and I needed to stop. I ignored what they said, and tried to figure out what had happened with Taka. As long as it had been since that day, I still felt guilty, wondering why I had lived. I was told that it was normal, and I needed to keep going on, even though it was painful, but I still clung to the past. The only thing that I was excited about during the absence of people was the fact my weird dreams had gone away. I hadn't seen one since Nuriko. That made my nights a bit better, not remembering Taka's death, and actually helped me sleep through the night, since I woke up after each dream. Those dreams were just depressing, though.
However, each time Nuriko came, the sadness of everything was soon forgotten, because I didn't want to worry him, and he always had a story to tell. The two of us bonded about the past, leaving both Sage and Heather curious to why we seemed so close, despite our recent meeting, or seeing each other again. And I had managed to meet Chichiri, thanks to Nuriko and Kayla's help. What shocked me the most was the fact his right eye had disappeared, and he no longer had it in this life. I was relieved at that, knowing there was nothing drastic had happened, like in his last life.
Chichiri was the same person I remembered. As familiarity widened his eyes, I realized he had remembered nothing of me, as everyone else had, unlike Nuriko. But, he still had the smile upon his face, and the cheery attitude he had always presented, for which I was grateful. Tasuki, however, was a different story.
As soon as he walked in, after Nuriko, had bribed him to come in, his eyes opened wide in shock, and he seemed to remember who he was, which was almost accurate. Like everyone else, he had dreams about his past, but he had recognized me on the spot without me poking him to remember. He still had the accent in his voice, and he used it as he spoke on and on about things he seemed to remember, as I filled him in on what it truly was. The three of us had so many laughs as Tasuki kept going on about things he had seen. Finally, Nuriko left us in exchange for work, and Tasuki and I mocked him recklessly about forgetting his true friends. He still left though, even though we had tried to convince him not to. I fell back onto my pillow, giggling slightly at our actions, and looked at Tasuki. His expression, while still a bit mellow, was slightly nervous.
"What's wrong?" He looked at me, and from the look in his eyes, I knew what he failing miserably to hide. I gave him a warm smile, and as I tried to open my mouth to explain, he cut in.
"I know what yer going t' say, so don't even start with me about how it wasn't me." The tone in his voice was serious, and I knew he meant it. I didn't obey him, and continuously kept blurting out explanations about how it wasn't him, and how it didn't matter to me anymore, but he refused to listen.
"It may not matter to you, but it does to me." My mouth fell open as he continued. "Goddamn Miaka. I swear, when I was younger, I'd stay up all night, jus' in case I ended up seein' yer face starin' up at me like that. It would scare the shit outta me, knowing that somehow I made a girl look at me like that with tears in her eyes. And the look on yer face as ya begged me not to hurt Taka... no man could ever forget a face like that." Inside, my heart was breaking. I knew that if Tasuki was this serious about something, it was close to the heart. He was much too masculine to reveal such a strong emotion so easily.
"Tasuki..." The word rolled from my tongue as a lone tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away, hoping he wouldn't see it and feel even guiltier. He stared at me intently, with a gaze that almost broke my heart again. Seeing the guilt he held in his eyes... "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I never meant for you to feel so bad about that, I never did. I forgave you years ago, and that should be enough for you. You always knew I was never the one to hold a grudge, and I'll never hold it against you." His gaze still remained intense for a moment, and then lightened up slightly. He came over from the table where he sat, and sat upon the edge of my bed, far away, almost as if he was afraid of scaring me. I frowned at him, and he moved slightly so the both of us were content. So, I ended up moving myself so I was next to him, and I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a hug for comfort. I held him tight for a few moments, and released him, feeling him hold still under my grasp. When I released him, I stared into his eyes. The emotions we each held about that event clashed as the contact between our eyes remained. Finally, he smiled slightly, and gave me an awkward hug, letting me know it was all right. I smiled at him, and scooted back, just in case someone would come in the room and yell at me for putting pressure on my legs. The look on Tasuki's face made me smile, knowing that he had forgiven himself, for which I was glad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Onii-chan, why have you been so mysterious lately?" I asked my brother on day when it was just the two of us, wondering why he had came to see me and leave only five seconds later. And the one thing that annoyed me was that he never told me where he was going and what he was doing. And, by the look on his face, I think he was expecting me to ask him this sometime soon.
"I was wondering when you'd ask that. Oh well, guess..." as he droned on, he reached into his bag, and pulled out a book. A very familiar looking book. "When I first got here, I recognized Mitsukake, and asked Tetsuya if he would send me this." The book! "I don't think he's told Yui-chan about any of this, but it's about time you learned what was going on. See, Tetsuya and I had a feeling that since Tamahome was reincarnated here, that maybe everyone else would come here too. And, ever since the battle with Tenkou, where Tai Itsukun told you and Taka that everyone would be reincarnated, Tetsuya and I had a feeling that maybe they'd end up here. As you can see, it was true."
"But what does that have to do with anything?"
Onii-chan pulled out another book, this time the book was unfamiliar, and very thick. "This book is about the four gods, the star constellations, the works. Anyways, it also has a few passages on the gods themselves, as well a bit on reincarnation. It's actually a basis on a bit of research that we've been doing since Tenkou."
I stared at the book, my fingers grazing the top lightly. "But why? Why did they all come back? I'm not complaining, but there has to be reason."
"Miaka, I don't know. Tetsuya and I came up with some theories, but they're only theories. The best one we came up with was the fact that Suzaku's the god of love, and he knows how deep the bond is between all of you. That's about it."
I stared blankly into the window. "But what about Taka?" I said softly.
Onii-chan sighed. "Miaka, I don't know. But, whatever happens, and whether he comes back or not, you need to at least acknowledge the fact that he might not come back. Because, if he doesn't, you may spend your entire life living a dream, thinking he'll come back. If he does, great. But, again, if he doesn't, try to get on with your life. It's been hard for all of us, even me. Taka was like a brother to me. But, at least try to accept the fact that you might never see Tamahome again Miaka. Because, if you don't, you may live a very lonely life."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Onii-chan left after that conversation, I sat and thought about what he said all night. Everything he said was true, and I agreed with it, even though it was still hard to accept that I might never see Tamahome, or Taka again. I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest, and rested my chin on my knees while considering what Onii-chan said. As one lone tear dropped down my check, I wondered if anyone knew Tamahome, or if he was truly gone. It scared me slightly, knowing that I could be alone. Ever since I was fifteen, I depended on him. And he didn't mind at all. I fell head over heels for Tamahome, and when he was gone, I knew we'd be together again. And we did see each other again. We were married for maybe five years, and then he was pulled right from my arms. I woke up from a coma and discovered he was gone less than ten minutes after I woke up. It was these sort of things that made me upset. I missed him so much. Would we ever be together again?
"Miaka?" I looked up at Heather, whose face was smiling gently. "I'm sorry to intrude, but you need to take this." She held out a cup with one or two pills inside. I winced, and took them quickly, hating their taste. I was told they could help figure out what was wrong with my legs, but doubted it. "Sorry about you having to take that, but you have to. I'd be just as squeamish as you are right now, so don't worry." I smiled at her, and she left with an apology, saying she had to take care of her other patients. I smiled, let her go without talking. I was still trying to figure out what I would do if Onii-chan's prediction came true and Taka didn't come back...
... Which was probably why Nuriko scared me so much when he came in; I was too deep in thought. He was laughing while he apologized, and I tried to catch my breath from being terrified. I hadn't normally lost my breath so easily, but the medication I was on...
"So, how are you?" I looked at Nuriko, still breathing heavily, and he laughed again, his voice carrying slightly. I smiled, and he continued. "I can only stay for a few, mainly cuz I have a site to check out for some artice I have to do." His face wrinkled at the aspect of working, and I laughed at him. "What're you doing today?"
"Nothing but sitting here and waiting for someone to take pity on me and talk to me." Different from my moods only a few weeks ago, when I was extremely anti-social.
"Well, glad to know that I..." As Nuriko's mouth moved, I noticed his words became softer and softer. My head felt woozy, and lightheaded, and I had a headache. I shut my eyes briefly, and when I opened them, my vision was blurry, and I shut them again, but it didn't work. As I felt my eyes close, I noticed Nuriko's face was inches from mine, and his mouth was crying out my name, even though I couldn't hear it. And my eyes closed shut as my head hit the pillow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, it is an evil ending. I knew I wanted to end it there, but in between... And if the middle to end part sucks, sorry. I'm kinda in the middle of another story (not posted) that's sucking up my creativity. But, other than that....
tamababymiko-chan: Yes, I think we all have a thing for Nuriko (why do you think I did a ton of description with him? And I'm actually one of the only ones between all my friends who loves him the most...). And cliffhangers are pretty bad... so sorry about this one!
KittyLynne: Thank you for allllllllll your support in each of your reviews! And yet another person for Tasuki and Miaka? Had a feeling... And about Nuriko's new name. I don't know if he will get one, since I can't find a good one for him (or Tasuki, for that matter). If I find one, I'll stick it in. Otherwise, him and Tasuki are known by the seishi names.
And thanks for reading and tolerating the horrible cliffhanger I did once again. I'm realllllllllly bad with the endings for some of these chapters, eh? Well, ja!
~Frenchie
Well... hello! All I'm saying about my life before I begin to babble is that even tho I have an evil play director, I love doing Fiddler On The Roof. The best part is being backstage with my friends and stage crew, since we have some weird people on stage and in the play. And the best part is that I don't do anything. I walk across the stage, and that's it so far. Maybe I'll get another job, like crashing the wedding!
Anyways... next part!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the weeks went by, I saw Nuriko almost every day. Each time, he came bursting with more than enough energy for the both of us, and our smiles were always wider. He always came with something to tell, be it a memory from the past, or a story he's working on. And each time he came, I revealed more about what happened after he had died, and what had happened after Tenkou tried to take over the book, as well as rapidly improved my English. He had also learned of the book, and we had spent over an hour on theories about the book, and if everyone had existed, and weren't characters from a book. The only thing we came up with was that everyone and everything in the book was real, but the book made it possible to go between the two worlds.
However, during that time, my legs still continued to bother me, as well as my doctor and nurses. No one had a good grasp on what was going on, and why this was happening. All I knew was that it was probably an infection, and they kept me on drugs all day and night. That still didn't help though, and it increased my time with doctors, as well as kept me in the hospital even long. Not that much fun. The only thing keeping me from running away was my legs, which refused to work, and the constant visits from Nuriko, Onii-chan, and Mayo-chan, as well as Sage and Heather keeping me sane when no one was there with me.
Between my visits with Nuriko, and anyone else, and especially at night, I sat alone, thinking about the past. According to quite a few people, I had lately been spending too much time thinking about what had already happened, and I needed to stop. I ignored what they said, and tried to figure out what had happened with Taka. As long as it had been since that day, I still felt guilty, wondering why I had lived. I was told that it was normal, and I needed to keep going on, even though it was painful, but I still clung to the past. The only thing that I was excited about during the absence of people was the fact my weird dreams had gone away. I hadn't seen one since Nuriko. That made my nights a bit better, not remembering Taka's death, and actually helped me sleep through the night, since I woke up after each dream. Those dreams were just depressing, though.
However, each time Nuriko came, the sadness of everything was soon forgotten, because I didn't want to worry him, and he always had a story to tell. The two of us bonded about the past, leaving both Sage and Heather curious to why we seemed so close, despite our recent meeting, or seeing each other again. And I had managed to meet Chichiri, thanks to Nuriko and Kayla's help. What shocked me the most was the fact his right eye had disappeared, and he no longer had it in this life. I was relieved at that, knowing there was nothing drastic had happened, like in his last life.
Chichiri was the same person I remembered. As familiarity widened his eyes, I realized he had remembered nothing of me, as everyone else had, unlike Nuriko. But, he still had the smile upon his face, and the cheery attitude he had always presented, for which I was grateful. Tasuki, however, was a different story.
As soon as he walked in, after Nuriko, had bribed him to come in, his eyes opened wide in shock, and he seemed to remember who he was, which was almost accurate. Like everyone else, he had dreams about his past, but he had recognized me on the spot without me poking him to remember. He still had the accent in his voice, and he used it as he spoke on and on about things he seemed to remember, as I filled him in on what it truly was. The three of us had so many laughs as Tasuki kept going on about things he had seen. Finally, Nuriko left us in exchange for work, and Tasuki and I mocked him recklessly about forgetting his true friends. He still left though, even though we had tried to convince him not to. I fell back onto my pillow, giggling slightly at our actions, and looked at Tasuki. His expression, while still a bit mellow, was slightly nervous.
"What's wrong?" He looked at me, and from the look in his eyes, I knew what he failing miserably to hide. I gave him a warm smile, and as I tried to open my mouth to explain, he cut in.
"I know what yer going t' say, so don't even start with me about how it wasn't me." The tone in his voice was serious, and I knew he meant it. I didn't obey him, and continuously kept blurting out explanations about how it wasn't him, and how it didn't matter to me anymore, but he refused to listen.
"It may not matter to you, but it does to me." My mouth fell open as he continued. "Goddamn Miaka. I swear, when I was younger, I'd stay up all night, jus' in case I ended up seein' yer face starin' up at me like that. It would scare the shit outta me, knowing that somehow I made a girl look at me like that with tears in her eyes. And the look on yer face as ya begged me not to hurt Taka... no man could ever forget a face like that." Inside, my heart was breaking. I knew that if Tasuki was this serious about something, it was close to the heart. He was much too masculine to reveal such a strong emotion so easily.
"Tasuki..." The word rolled from my tongue as a lone tear fell from my eye. I wiped it away, hoping he wouldn't see it and feel even guiltier. He stared at me intently, with a gaze that almost broke my heart again. Seeing the guilt he held in his eyes... "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I never meant for you to feel so bad about that, I never did. I forgave you years ago, and that should be enough for you. You always knew I was never the one to hold a grudge, and I'll never hold it against you." His gaze still remained intense for a moment, and then lightened up slightly. He came over from the table where he sat, and sat upon the edge of my bed, far away, almost as if he was afraid of scaring me. I frowned at him, and he moved slightly so the both of us were content. So, I ended up moving myself so I was next to him, and I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a hug for comfort. I held him tight for a few moments, and released him, feeling him hold still under my grasp. When I released him, I stared into his eyes. The emotions we each held about that event clashed as the contact between our eyes remained. Finally, he smiled slightly, and gave me an awkward hug, letting me know it was all right. I smiled at him, and scooted back, just in case someone would come in the room and yell at me for putting pressure on my legs. The look on Tasuki's face made me smile, knowing that he had forgiven himself, for which I was glad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Onii-chan, why have you been so mysterious lately?" I asked my brother on day when it was just the two of us, wondering why he had came to see me and leave only five seconds later. And the one thing that annoyed me was that he never told me where he was going and what he was doing. And, by the look on his face, I think he was expecting me to ask him this sometime soon.
"I was wondering when you'd ask that. Oh well, guess..." as he droned on, he reached into his bag, and pulled out a book. A very familiar looking book. "When I first got here, I recognized Mitsukake, and asked Tetsuya if he would send me this." The book! "I don't think he's told Yui-chan about any of this, but it's about time you learned what was going on. See, Tetsuya and I had a feeling that since Tamahome was reincarnated here, that maybe everyone else would come here too. And, ever since the battle with Tenkou, where Tai Itsukun told you and Taka that everyone would be reincarnated, Tetsuya and I had a feeling that maybe they'd end up here. As you can see, it was true."
"But what does that have to do with anything?"
Onii-chan pulled out another book, this time the book was unfamiliar, and very thick. "This book is about the four gods, the star constellations, the works. Anyways, it also has a few passages on the gods themselves, as well a bit on reincarnation. It's actually a basis on a bit of research that we've been doing since Tenkou."
I stared at the book, my fingers grazing the top lightly. "But why? Why did they all come back? I'm not complaining, but there has to be reason."
"Miaka, I don't know. Tetsuya and I came up with some theories, but they're only theories. The best one we came up with was the fact that Suzaku's the god of love, and he knows how deep the bond is between all of you. That's about it."
I stared blankly into the window. "But what about Taka?" I said softly.
Onii-chan sighed. "Miaka, I don't know. But, whatever happens, and whether he comes back or not, you need to at least acknowledge the fact that he might not come back. Because, if he doesn't, you may spend your entire life living a dream, thinking he'll come back. If he does, great. But, again, if he doesn't, try to get on with your life. It's been hard for all of us, even me. Taka was like a brother to me. But, at least try to accept the fact that you might never see Tamahome again Miaka. Because, if you don't, you may live a very lonely life."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Onii-chan left after that conversation, I sat and thought about what he said all night. Everything he said was true, and I agreed with it, even though it was still hard to accept that I might never see Tamahome, or Taka again. I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest, and rested my chin on my knees while considering what Onii-chan said. As one lone tear dropped down my check, I wondered if anyone knew Tamahome, or if he was truly gone. It scared me slightly, knowing that I could be alone. Ever since I was fifteen, I depended on him. And he didn't mind at all. I fell head over heels for Tamahome, and when he was gone, I knew we'd be together again. And we did see each other again. We were married for maybe five years, and then he was pulled right from my arms. I woke up from a coma and discovered he was gone less than ten minutes after I woke up. It was these sort of things that made me upset. I missed him so much. Would we ever be together again?
"Miaka?" I looked up at Heather, whose face was smiling gently. "I'm sorry to intrude, but you need to take this." She held out a cup with one or two pills inside. I winced, and took them quickly, hating their taste. I was told they could help figure out what was wrong with my legs, but doubted it. "Sorry about you having to take that, but you have to. I'd be just as squeamish as you are right now, so don't worry." I smiled at her, and she left with an apology, saying she had to take care of her other patients. I smiled, let her go without talking. I was still trying to figure out what I would do if Onii-chan's prediction came true and Taka didn't come back...
... Which was probably why Nuriko scared me so much when he came in; I was too deep in thought. He was laughing while he apologized, and I tried to catch my breath from being terrified. I hadn't normally lost my breath so easily, but the medication I was on...
"So, how are you?" I looked at Nuriko, still breathing heavily, and he laughed again, his voice carrying slightly. I smiled, and he continued. "I can only stay for a few, mainly cuz I have a site to check out for some artice I have to do." His face wrinkled at the aspect of working, and I laughed at him. "What're you doing today?"
"Nothing but sitting here and waiting for someone to take pity on me and talk to me." Different from my moods only a few weeks ago, when I was extremely anti-social.
"Well, glad to know that I..." As Nuriko's mouth moved, I noticed his words became softer and softer. My head felt woozy, and lightheaded, and I had a headache. I shut my eyes briefly, and when I opened them, my vision was blurry, and I shut them again, but it didn't work. As I felt my eyes close, I noticed Nuriko's face was inches from mine, and his mouth was crying out my name, even though I couldn't hear it. And my eyes closed shut as my head hit the pillow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, it is an evil ending. I knew I wanted to end it there, but in between... And if the middle to end part sucks, sorry. I'm kinda in the middle of another story (not posted) that's sucking up my creativity. But, other than that....
tamababymiko-chan: Yes, I think we all have a thing for Nuriko (why do you think I did a ton of description with him? And I'm actually one of the only ones between all my friends who loves him the most...). And cliffhangers are pretty bad... so sorry about this one!
KittyLynne: Thank you for allllllllll your support in each of your reviews! And yet another person for Tasuki and Miaka? Had a feeling... And about Nuriko's new name. I don't know if he will get one, since I can't find a good one for him (or Tasuki, for that matter). If I find one, I'll stick it in. Otherwise, him and Tasuki are known by the seishi names.
And thanks for reading and tolerating the horrible cliffhanger I did once again. I'm realllllllllly bad with the endings for some of these chapters, eh? Well, ja!
~Frenchie
