A quiet interlude

Disclaimer: I own a few things - but most of these characters belong to Nintendo - I just built them up and gave them personalities is all.

This chapter is from Sheik's POV. ^^ = Sheik's thoughts

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I spend most of my time amongst the shadows now. In the wreckage of what was once my home - it was not only the Hylians who suffered at the hands of Ganondorf during the seven years. My village was devastated completely, and now there may be some truth that I am the last of the Sheikah (at least left walking this mortal plain). And as if that weren't enough, I've been torn in two by such a silly little thing. By a woman.

Oh Goddesses, what did you do to me? How could she have such an effect upon me? Perhaps my training was not as rigorous as it could have been, if such a stupid ideology like to that which the Hylians call 'love' can reduce me to this wallowing self-pity. ^Love...what good is that? Will it give me food, shelter, protection?^ Love is a stupid idea thought up by a shopkeeper who wasn't selling enough wedding rings. It's an idea concocted to make men blind to all, and to make women simper like fools. It's ridiculous.

So why can't I stop myself? Why is it that every time I stop concentrating on what I'm doing, I will remember her? Remember that traitorous shrew, and think so *fondly* of her, after I know what she did. If I had known from the beginning, I would probably have made sure she was locked up as far away from the Hero as possible. But I didn't know - she managed to worm her way past my defences and trick me into trusting her. It can't be anything else but trickery that makes me feel this way - some kind of sorcery perhaps that her kind has?

Well, it doesn't matter much. She's gone, and either dead, or not coming back. ^Oh sorrow, dead?^ My thoughts turn against me on this point. I am like two people now - the rational one that I have been for the better part of my life, and then this fool for the past few months since our adventures drew to a close. Yes, I suppose I can admit that I miss her - that I oft wonder how she is getting on.

But, I will not admit...the other. It will drive me insane. And being driven insane when you have all eternity to live for doesn't appeal to me. ^Though it would stop me having to think about her for a while.^ That would be a relief - I am fed up with having her voice ringing in my ears every time there is a gap in sound. As if I do not have enough to worry about, killing of the last few monsters that linger around here.

I'll go back to the world eventually. I suppose it is not fair to think that the Hero can cope all by himself. Not all are bred to be loners after all.

However, I have to sort myself out before I can even think of returning. ^How does one purge oneself of these feelings?^ Is it even possible, I wonder? Are these feelings like some kind of disease that will wane over time? I surely hope so, because they feel as though they have been lingering and eating away at my insides for longer than should be proper. The feelings are clinging like a fungus to my mind, and I just want to scour them away and return to how I was before all these absurd happenings. I want to be a real Sheikah again, not a broken semblance of one!

^Still...I wonder how she is right now... She would not kill herself, surely not. That was just Xenia embellishing to make us feel sorry for her... wasn't it?^ Argh, I cannot even untangle this mass of feelings. How do the Hylians cope with all of this, all the time with no relief? I can feel myself going insane already. ^If I get the urge to act like a chicken, I'm turning myself into the palace cells.^

*

Hyrule is looking better than it has in a long time today. Looking upon it as the dawn comes up, I'm feeling a little refreshed, and better then I have done for many weeks now. And I think I know why that is - I've given up on trying to purge these memories of her. Now I just let them reside in the back of my mind; it's easier than trying to fight them off all the time, and I find that it is not so hard to cope with them as it was before.

I suppose Hylians have to learn just as I have to cope with multitudes of feelings. And perhaps Sheikah have been missing out a little in blocking them all from life. ^Oh, so *now* you're ready to give feelings a shot?^ Sadly, I've managed to acquire an annoying voice within my mind which criticises everything I do. Is that a sign of madness? Well, it's not as though I have anyone else to talk to around here - I haven't yet gotten around to making my return.

It's easier just to watch for now. The Castle-Town is already returning to the bustling hive it once was, and the palace is being slowly resurrected. Until then, her royal highness and the Lord Protector (I only heard of that news a few days ago) are living amongst the common people in the town. Link has married Malon (no surprise there, if even I could see the chemistry between them). From my observations of them as they walk through the market place, they are happy enough - though each and every Hylian about the place has the same haunted look. I suppose we all must have it; we all have our own memories of the darkness.

I find it hard to believe that any of them has memories to rival the Hero's or mine. He lost his childhood companion...and I lost... I don't know what to call her. Blaise, Alexis? She stills seems like Blaise to me - it's hard to change from one name to another in such a short space of time I suppose. Though I am trying as hard as I may to name her correctly even in my mind. ^So why do you keep referring to *Alexis* as 'her'. Are you scared of saying the name, hmm?^

Of course I am not. Alexis - the fallen Angel whom I travelled with for many months. She taught me the value of trusting people, even if you think that there is something strange about them. She taught me how to apply the old adage 'never judge a book by its cover' to real life. ^She lied to you, you idiot.^ Yes...she did. It's something I may not easily be able to forgive - but perhaps time will let me. ^You say it all as though you expect to see her again.^

I'll never see her again... Ever. I think memories are going to be all I shall live on. Because hope is out of the window - hope hasn't seen this world ever since Ganondorf laid his hands on the Tri-Force. Now we just live with what we are given; hope has nothing to do with it.

Still...maybe I should return sooner than I planned to. I fear I really am close to all-out insanity by staying alone for so long. It isn't healthy, even for the shadow people, not to have some kind of company. I can't keep all these thoughts to myself - I'm not used to having only my own thoughts to listen to. What I wouldn't give just to see one of my villagers again - even the doctor would be a face worth seeing.

But that won't happen either. ^It seems everything I manage to bring myself to care about gets damaged or taken away from me.^ Ah, at least it's my own voice thinking now. And it certainly does feel that way sometimes. ^Mind you, she *did* hurt you - she damaged your pride, and your feelings.^ No, the other voice is back. She didn't mean to. If anything, she tried to protect us from who she really was. It can't have been easy to hide who she really was for so long.

^You sensed what she was. You knew she wasn't trustworthy! So why did you let her in?^ I - I don't know... Weakness? ^Certainly weakness. And stupidity. But I think the better part was lust my boy.^ No! How dare you...? I - no - it wasn't. ^Wasn't it? Are you so sure?^ I...

What if the voice is right? It might be - and then I suppose at least I would not have to worry about my other feelings anymore. ^Yes...that would be nice, wouldn't it? And it would be right too - you're just confused. You've never felt either love or lust boy.^ No, I haven't, that's true. How does one tell the difference then? ^Oh, you don't need to - I can do that for you. And it was most definitely lust. Think of that body - those lips tasted good, did they not? And she was young, fresh...how could you resist? And you missed the chance to take her...foolish...^

I'm sickened by these thoughts. Never - never did I think of her like that. Get out, whatever voice you are, because you certainly don't belong in my mind any longer with insinuations like that! ^You know it's right boy - you don't need her...she was beautiful yes - and bound to be a virgin too...^

Oh Goddesses, shut up!

Silence...blissful, lonely silence in my mind. And now I register that I'm back where I started, with no idea what these feelings are, and wishing they would go away so I don't have to figure them out. But at least that voice is gone...and I can hope that I'm a little saner than before.

Hope - it's that word again...perhaps I should have set more store by it. ^After all, it may be all I have left.^ It's good to hear my own thoughts again, in my own voice. ^I think I should head back to the world before I drift too far away from it.^ It seems a good idea. I suppose Link will be at least a little happy to see me. It has been a while after all...

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I'm going to cut it off there, because otherwise I'm just going to give away far too much of the plot I have in store for the sequel. Sheik doesn't make much sense, and seems to be going a little crazy - but that's what Sheikan mood swings do... He's still in two minds about Alexis, which is going to make things fun when I start writing the next part.

Soda XXX