Disclaimer: Do not own.
I should be working on my research paper, I really should. I have to make up about five assignments for it (since I just changed my topic) and keep up with my class, and I need to get my research done for it. But, ideas flew through my head, so I'll do both at the same time. So...
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you su-"
"Don't worry about it! It'll be fine if you're here all night, let alone an hour. We'll be fine." And with that, he pulled me past the gate, warning us of a possible fate if we entered the tempting place I was currently heading towards.
"Are you sure?"
"I've spent nights out here before! Nobody cares if you're here! Stop worrying! And, if for some reason something happens, I can take the blame!" He continued to pull me behind him, but as we crept further and further from his car, I began to worry less. I knew that with him I didn't have to worry... I never did. Why would I?
Finally, he slowed down his pace and pulled me closer to him, rather than me an arms-length behind him. Nervously, I crept closer to him, the tiniest bit worried. When was the last time I was nervous like this?
Slowly, we walked along, not saying much. All was said before, either at dinner or that so-called 'talk' at my house. I mean, sure, it ended up totally different from what I pictured, but he got his point across to me. And dinner too- entirely different from what I saw. But... I actually had fun with him tonight. Something I thought wouldn't happen since Taka left me.
So, I guess letting him come over wasn't a bust. I mean, sure, everything took an unexpected twist at every turn, but I was happy. Just pure happy. I hadn't expected anything to happen today, but yet... Everyone, I guess, would expect me to be unhappy, yet I'm not. But I still miss Taka. I know it's normal... considering how he was the only guy (asides from Tamahome, but I don't think that really matters) I ever fell in love with. And you never forget your first love...
And what am I saying? I don't always let my thoughts wander like this... do I? Maybe I do, but I don't get it. How can they wander so freely? People may not know what I think, but still...
As I drifted from my thoughts to reality, I noticed we were slowing down. We, as in a single unit, due to the fact that he hadn't let go of my hand yet. I didn't mind at all. I don't know why... I just didn't. I hadn't felt this way around him before. Never. Was it because I had never worried about our relationship going any further than what it had been? I guess it must have been. Between everything he had said...
"Hey, you in there?" Looking over at him, I nodded, smiling at him. For once, looking way up wasn't an issue with our almost similar heights. It was almost refreshing, in a way.
We continued our quiet stroll, until we stopped, letting the gentle waves from the lake hit our covered feet. The almost midnight sky was illuminated with the twinkling lights from the stars, the moon missing from the serene scene in front of us. The warm water in front of us almost seemed to blend in with the sky, their colors almost perfectly matching. The only thing that didn't fit was the quiet, far off hum of a car every once in a while.
As the minutes ticked by, the air grew colder, and the wind began to grow stronger than the gentle breeze from earlier. He must've noticed I was shivering from the cold, because after a moment, his arm was around me, shielding me from the cold. Accepting the gesture, I leaned into him, hoping that his warmth would somehow keep me warmer than I was now. I guess he knew that I was trying to warm up, because the arm around me tightened.
We stood in front of the water as the air grew colder, the sky darkened, and the wind began to blow harder. I didn't notice it as much as I should have I think. All I knew was the warmth he had, and the gentle waves slashing at my feet, slowly crawling away, back from where the rest of the water flowed. The words I had wanted to hear for so long... ever since I realized how far his feelings went... hadn't come out yet, as we said nothing but look at the beauty nature had presented us at this dark hour, at least until the both of us simultaneously fell onto the ground softly, our feet now in front of us with the water no where near us.
"Tonight's so pretty." Surprising even myself, I broke the tranquility of our silent code by speaking, making him jump slightly.
"Yeah... I guess so. I've seen worse, but I've also seen better."
"But it's fine now." He stared at me for the moment, and nodded.
"That's true." The grip on my arms that loosened only seconds ago tightened itself around me again, and I panicked for only a slight moment. When it died away, my conscious died away too, all thoughts about Taka ceasing, just letting me live in the few moments I had been given for this time.
As the time grew from minutes to- seemingly- forever, I realized how much this place truly meant to him. Everyone needs a space where they can just... well, be them, and this was it. I guess you can say I figured it out by the silence he normally hated was prominent, something I never really saw from him. He was always the energetic one, unless reason called for him to calm down from his exuberant personality. And I rarely saw that... only when someone ended up dying. But, him being here made him seem... more vulnerable, maybe? It's weird, but I never really saw a lot of emotions with him. The only time he really let something out was after-
"Hey, I have a question." Looking over at him, I nodded, letting him speak whatever was on his mind. He hesitated, almost regretting saying something.
"You can say it. I won't tell." He still hesitated, but I gave him the time he needed, waiting for him to speak.
"What happened after- what did you feel after I..." He must have seen the look on my face... But then again, how could he not? He was what, two feet away? Is that why he stopped? But still...
"We never... We didn't want you go to and... We never expect that to happen. We thought that we were invincible, and you went and proved that we weren't, that we were only human. And when I saw you, there, sitting... no, not sitting... You scared me! I was so scared that..." And I broke down there. My senseless rambling ended there was my sobs replaced them. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me, trying to relieve me of the tears that were started due to his stupid mistakes. He sobbed into his shoulders, trying to choke out words that refused to come out crystal clear.
"Shh... I'm sorry."
"But you... you really... I want to blame you, I really do. But it wasn't your fault. It was your stupidity... We missed you so much!" When was the last time I cried this hard? And hadn't I dealt with these emotions before. I thought that I got rid of these...
"Shh... I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry..."
"Sorry for what, curiosity?" As I regained control over my sobs, my thoughts of him, lying here, tainting the ice crystals around him, were slowly diminished, and I began to claim my body again, instead of letting the emotions I knew so well control me.
"True... but I shouldn't have asked."
"It's ok... We all need to deal with death someday."
"And you've dealt with it more than anyone else I've ever known..." He shifted his gaze from my eyes to the serene water in front of us. "I swear, when I first saw you, I had no idea if you could've dealt with having the future of Konan in your hands, and having to save us. But you pulled it off, not that I was surprised. I knew, after I met you, that you would do it. I just didn't know how you would, considering the complications with Kutou." Hearing him say so much about me, commenting on how I acted less than ten years ago... I hadn't expected him to be so open with me. I knew about a few of the things he told me, but he told me more than I had known. Did I want to know them? No idea. I was beyond shocked, however, knowing how much emotion was in his voice when he spoke to me.
"Thank you..."
"For what?"
"Feeling that way about me. Makes me feel loved." He smirked at me, and I saw amusement in his eyes when he turned back to me, his rosy eyes filled with laughter when they revealed the depths of his dark eyes.
"But you are loved." He suppressed a laugh as gracile fingers wove their way through my hair. "How could you not be, with the looks you have, and the way you act. And with everything you do..." His eyes filled with more love than I had seen in them before, even that time he decided to fool me.
"Don't... just please. Don't."
"You won't get hurt. I promise." And with that, he silenced all thoughts in my head, bringing our lips together in a sweet, innocent kiss, once again. His hands, still wrapped around the strands of hair upon my head, brought us closer together.
Slowly, he broke down my wall of resistance, as well as the wall of fear that I built up so easily, relieving me of all trepidation I had. Leaning into him, I poured into him the trust I felt for him, the friendship I always felt for him, but mostly the feeling of love that had quickly invaded my life. I felt him smile into the kiss, and I knew he had felt every emotion I knew at this moment. I knew what he felt, just as he knew what I felt. And for this moment, it was all I needed.
When he drew away from me, reality hit me, and the sanity I threw out returned, causing icy cold fear to grab at my heart. The thoughts in my head collided and contradicted, both so different they refused to compromise with each other. But, as hard as I tried to push thoughts of him out of my head, I failed miserably when I let my eyes open, knowing that as long as I live, I would never, ever forget him, and the emotions which he so strongly presented.
"We need to get back. I have work tomorrow, and I'm going to be asleep if I stay here any longer." Nodding at him, I let my actions speak for the words that refused to come out and say what they truly wanted to say. He stood up quickly, pulling me to my feet afterwards as if I was as light as a feather, holding me as if I was the most fragile thing he could come across.
As soon as the car started, I noticed a change in the aura. The quiet we had earlier burst, and our talking never ceased. It felt like we were still young, as if the only worry we had were the same, insignificant things. But, every time I saw him turn to me, that thought flew out of my head, reminding me of how much he truly cared for me... And it made me wonder how deep my feelings for him were.
"Hey, you're back." Glancing at the building I call home, I could almost feel regret building inside. I knew he didn't want me to leave, and I felt almost the exact same way he did. Bu, if I didn't leave now, then when would I?
"Thanks for everything tonight. I think I needed a night out, and I really appreciate everything you did for me." I rid the car of the horrible silence that fell upon us when he announced our location, making it more uncomfortable than it had been all evening. I saw him open his mouth, but before words began to spill from his lips, I darted forward, wrapping my arms around him tightly while pressing a swift kiss to his lips. I let the kiss linger, until he pulled away, pressing a kiss to my forehead, before letting me go.
I stepped out of the car, shutting it lightly, and walked away from his car, sensing the entire time that his eyes were on my back. Not that I cared. He was just looking after me, just as he used to long before I ever moved here, just as he does now, and just as he will do in the future.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm done!!!! I think you might figure it out from the hints I put in... but if not, I dunno. Reread and wait for the next chapter? No idea....
I also decided that this is going to end soon. I know how to end it, and it'll probably end in a few chapters. And just so you know... I have no intention of turning this into a lemon fic. I have a few reasons (aka the notebook... don't ask), so don't ask for one. But getting back to the end... No idea. It's almost over tho. Less than five chapters.
Touki Yume: I'm sorry for confusing you. I just wrote... and didn't bother to rethink about what I wrote. Sorry. And- again- thank you soooooooooo much for your idea. I really appreciate it, and it helped me clear my head. Thank you!!!!
WeaselGirl: Thank you!!! I swear, every review I read makes me change my mind about who the 'mystery seishi' is, and your thoughts actually made sense. But, once again... Thank you!!!!
Mad Squirrel: I'm sorry for making you go bald!!!! I'm really sorry!!! I hope this might have cleared up something. And I am seriously shocked when people say I have talent, cuz I have no idea where that comes from. I just write... herm... Thank you!!!
Xanthe: Thank you for the names thing! I actually plan to use these names someday when I have kids... But I'm just wondering where Cedric (another fav of mine!) came from. And there is no way that the Seiryuu people are evil here. Except for Miboshi, I respect and feel so bad for the rest of them, and could never make them the bad guys unless it was in the series. And the twins idea did come from Suboshi (i think!). But thank you!!!!
Phoe-kun and Leena: I'm sorry for a confusing opening! I don't know what happened! Hahah... yah. And with the musicals... I blame S-F for that. She's the Guys and Dolls freak... ever since we saw that musical.. Why we tried out for Fiddler. And... hermm... Thanks!!!
Well... Bai bai!!! Thank you for all!!!
~Frenchie
I should be working on my research paper, I really should. I have to make up about five assignments for it (since I just changed my topic) and keep up with my class, and I need to get my research done for it. But, ideas flew through my head, so I'll do both at the same time. So...
~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you su-"
"Don't worry about it! It'll be fine if you're here all night, let alone an hour. We'll be fine." And with that, he pulled me past the gate, warning us of a possible fate if we entered the tempting place I was currently heading towards.
"Are you sure?"
"I've spent nights out here before! Nobody cares if you're here! Stop worrying! And, if for some reason something happens, I can take the blame!" He continued to pull me behind him, but as we crept further and further from his car, I began to worry less. I knew that with him I didn't have to worry... I never did. Why would I?
Finally, he slowed down his pace and pulled me closer to him, rather than me an arms-length behind him. Nervously, I crept closer to him, the tiniest bit worried. When was the last time I was nervous like this?
Slowly, we walked along, not saying much. All was said before, either at dinner or that so-called 'talk' at my house. I mean, sure, it ended up totally different from what I pictured, but he got his point across to me. And dinner too- entirely different from what I saw. But... I actually had fun with him tonight. Something I thought wouldn't happen since Taka left me.
So, I guess letting him come over wasn't a bust. I mean, sure, everything took an unexpected twist at every turn, but I was happy. Just pure happy. I hadn't expected anything to happen today, but yet... Everyone, I guess, would expect me to be unhappy, yet I'm not. But I still miss Taka. I know it's normal... considering how he was the only guy (asides from Tamahome, but I don't think that really matters) I ever fell in love with. And you never forget your first love...
And what am I saying? I don't always let my thoughts wander like this... do I? Maybe I do, but I don't get it. How can they wander so freely? People may not know what I think, but still...
As I drifted from my thoughts to reality, I noticed we were slowing down. We, as in a single unit, due to the fact that he hadn't let go of my hand yet. I didn't mind at all. I don't know why... I just didn't. I hadn't felt this way around him before. Never. Was it because I had never worried about our relationship going any further than what it had been? I guess it must have been. Between everything he had said...
"Hey, you in there?" Looking over at him, I nodded, smiling at him. For once, looking way up wasn't an issue with our almost similar heights. It was almost refreshing, in a way.
We continued our quiet stroll, until we stopped, letting the gentle waves from the lake hit our covered feet. The almost midnight sky was illuminated with the twinkling lights from the stars, the moon missing from the serene scene in front of us. The warm water in front of us almost seemed to blend in with the sky, their colors almost perfectly matching. The only thing that didn't fit was the quiet, far off hum of a car every once in a while.
As the minutes ticked by, the air grew colder, and the wind began to grow stronger than the gentle breeze from earlier. He must've noticed I was shivering from the cold, because after a moment, his arm was around me, shielding me from the cold. Accepting the gesture, I leaned into him, hoping that his warmth would somehow keep me warmer than I was now. I guess he knew that I was trying to warm up, because the arm around me tightened.
We stood in front of the water as the air grew colder, the sky darkened, and the wind began to blow harder. I didn't notice it as much as I should have I think. All I knew was the warmth he had, and the gentle waves slashing at my feet, slowly crawling away, back from where the rest of the water flowed. The words I had wanted to hear for so long... ever since I realized how far his feelings went... hadn't come out yet, as we said nothing but look at the beauty nature had presented us at this dark hour, at least until the both of us simultaneously fell onto the ground softly, our feet now in front of us with the water no where near us.
"Tonight's so pretty." Surprising even myself, I broke the tranquility of our silent code by speaking, making him jump slightly.
"Yeah... I guess so. I've seen worse, but I've also seen better."
"But it's fine now." He stared at me for the moment, and nodded.
"That's true." The grip on my arms that loosened only seconds ago tightened itself around me again, and I panicked for only a slight moment. When it died away, my conscious died away too, all thoughts about Taka ceasing, just letting me live in the few moments I had been given for this time.
As the time grew from minutes to- seemingly- forever, I realized how much this place truly meant to him. Everyone needs a space where they can just... well, be them, and this was it. I guess you can say I figured it out by the silence he normally hated was prominent, something I never really saw from him. He was always the energetic one, unless reason called for him to calm down from his exuberant personality. And I rarely saw that... only when someone ended up dying. But, him being here made him seem... more vulnerable, maybe? It's weird, but I never really saw a lot of emotions with him. The only time he really let something out was after-
"Hey, I have a question." Looking over at him, I nodded, letting him speak whatever was on his mind. He hesitated, almost regretting saying something.
"You can say it. I won't tell." He still hesitated, but I gave him the time he needed, waiting for him to speak.
"What happened after- what did you feel after I..." He must have seen the look on my face... But then again, how could he not? He was what, two feet away? Is that why he stopped? But still...
"We never... We didn't want you go to and... We never expect that to happen. We thought that we were invincible, and you went and proved that we weren't, that we were only human. And when I saw you, there, sitting... no, not sitting... You scared me! I was so scared that..." And I broke down there. My senseless rambling ended there was my sobs replaced them. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me, trying to relieve me of the tears that were started due to his stupid mistakes. He sobbed into his shoulders, trying to choke out words that refused to come out crystal clear.
"Shh... I'm sorry."
"But you... you really... I want to blame you, I really do. But it wasn't your fault. It was your stupidity... We missed you so much!" When was the last time I cried this hard? And hadn't I dealt with these emotions before. I thought that I got rid of these...
"Shh... I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry..."
"Sorry for what, curiosity?" As I regained control over my sobs, my thoughts of him, lying here, tainting the ice crystals around him, were slowly diminished, and I began to claim my body again, instead of letting the emotions I knew so well control me.
"True... but I shouldn't have asked."
"It's ok... We all need to deal with death someday."
"And you've dealt with it more than anyone else I've ever known..." He shifted his gaze from my eyes to the serene water in front of us. "I swear, when I first saw you, I had no idea if you could've dealt with having the future of Konan in your hands, and having to save us. But you pulled it off, not that I was surprised. I knew, after I met you, that you would do it. I just didn't know how you would, considering the complications with Kutou." Hearing him say so much about me, commenting on how I acted less than ten years ago... I hadn't expected him to be so open with me. I knew about a few of the things he told me, but he told me more than I had known. Did I want to know them? No idea. I was beyond shocked, however, knowing how much emotion was in his voice when he spoke to me.
"Thank you..."
"For what?"
"Feeling that way about me. Makes me feel loved." He smirked at me, and I saw amusement in his eyes when he turned back to me, his rosy eyes filled with laughter when they revealed the depths of his dark eyes.
"But you are loved." He suppressed a laugh as gracile fingers wove their way through my hair. "How could you not be, with the looks you have, and the way you act. And with everything you do..." His eyes filled with more love than I had seen in them before, even that time he decided to fool me.
"Don't... just please. Don't."
"You won't get hurt. I promise." And with that, he silenced all thoughts in my head, bringing our lips together in a sweet, innocent kiss, once again. His hands, still wrapped around the strands of hair upon my head, brought us closer together.
Slowly, he broke down my wall of resistance, as well as the wall of fear that I built up so easily, relieving me of all trepidation I had. Leaning into him, I poured into him the trust I felt for him, the friendship I always felt for him, but mostly the feeling of love that had quickly invaded my life. I felt him smile into the kiss, and I knew he had felt every emotion I knew at this moment. I knew what he felt, just as he knew what I felt. And for this moment, it was all I needed.
When he drew away from me, reality hit me, and the sanity I threw out returned, causing icy cold fear to grab at my heart. The thoughts in my head collided and contradicted, both so different they refused to compromise with each other. But, as hard as I tried to push thoughts of him out of my head, I failed miserably when I let my eyes open, knowing that as long as I live, I would never, ever forget him, and the emotions which he so strongly presented.
"We need to get back. I have work tomorrow, and I'm going to be asleep if I stay here any longer." Nodding at him, I let my actions speak for the words that refused to come out and say what they truly wanted to say. He stood up quickly, pulling me to my feet afterwards as if I was as light as a feather, holding me as if I was the most fragile thing he could come across.
As soon as the car started, I noticed a change in the aura. The quiet we had earlier burst, and our talking never ceased. It felt like we were still young, as if the only worry we had were the same, insignificant things. But, every time I saw him turn to me, that thought flew out of my head, reminding me of how much he truly cared for me... And it made me wonder how deep my feelings for him were.
"Hey, you're back." Glancing at the building I call home, I could almost feel regret building inside. I knew he didn't want me to leave, and I felt almost the exact same way he did. Bu, if I didn't leave now, then when would I?
"Thanks for everything tonight. I think I needed a night out, and I really appreciate everything you did for me." I rid the car of the horrible silence that fell upon us when he announced our location, making it more uncomfortable than it had been all evening. I saw him open his mouth, but before words began to spill from his lips, I darted forward, wrapping my arms around him tightly while pressing a swift kiss to his lips. I let the kiss linger, until he pulled away, pressing a kiss to my forehead, before letting me go.
I stepped out of the car, shutting it lightly, and walked away from his car, sensing the entire time that his eyes were on my back. Not that I cared. He was just looking after me, just as he used to long before I ever moved here, just as he does now, and just as he will do in the future.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm done!!!! I think you might figure it out from the hints I put in... but if not, I dunno. Reread and wait for the next chapter? No idea....
I also decided that this is going to end soon. I know how to end it, and it'll probably end in a few chapters. And just so you know... I have no intention of turning this into a lemon fic. I have a few reasons (aka the notebook... don't ask), so don't ask for one. But getting back to the end... No idea. It's almost over tho. Less than five chapters.
Touki Yume: I'm sorry for confusing you. I just wrote... and didn't bother to rethink about what I wrote. Sorry. And- again- thank you soooooooooo much for your idea. I really appreciate it, and it helped me clear my head. Thank you!!!!
WeaselGirl: Thank you!!! I swear, every review I read makes me change my mind about who the 'mystery seishi' is, and your thoughts actually made sense. But, once again... Thank you!!!!
Mad Squirrel: I'm sorry for making you go bald!!!! I'm really sorry!!! I hope this might have cleared up something. And I am seriously shocked when people say I have talent, cuz I have no idea where that comes from. I just write... herm... Thank you!!!
Xanthe: Thank you for the names thing! I actually plan to use these names someday when I have kids... But I'm just wondering where Cedric (another fav of mine!) came from. And there is no way that the Seiryuu people are evil here. Except for Miboshi, I respect and feel so bad for the rest of them, and could never make them the bad guys unless it was in the series. And the twins idea did come from Suboshi (i think!). But thank you!!!!
Phoe-kun and Leena: I'm sorry for a confusing opening! I don't know what happened! Hahah... yah. And with the musicals... I blame S-F for that. She's the Guys and Dolls freak... ever since we saw that musical.. Why we tried out for Fiddler. And... hermm... Thanks!!!
Well... Bai bai!!! Thank you for all!!!
~Frenchie
