Thanks for the reviews, and yes, the baby's going to make it
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Nick started pacing the waiting room of the oncology department. Dr. Feindstat, not taking any risks, had promptly called Dr. O'Connor and set up a meeting between the two of them to discuss his findings. The day afterwards, Sara was taken in to have a CT scan and confirm or rule out the possibility of cancer.
"Nick! How are you man?" Warrick asked as soon as he stepped out of the elevators with Deborah rushing behind him.
"Is Sara alright?" she asked breathlessly.
"Yeah, a little shook up, that's all," Nick replied, "but we won't know anymore until the CT scan." Trying to find a lighter topic, he asked, "So, Deb, did my man propose yet?"
"Finally," Deb stressed giving Warrick an exasperated look.
"I'm sorry, baby, but as Nick puts it, I'm absolutely clueless," Warrick apologized, holding out his arms to give her a hug.
"I forgive you," Deb said with a smile as she returned the gesture. They were soon engaged in a liplock.
"You guys, as much as I hate to break this up," Nick began, "Get a room."
"You're going to be rubbing that in, aren't you?" Warrick demanded.
"Oh, yeah," Nick replied with a smirk.
"Mr. Stokes?" the CT technician called out from the other end of the room.
"Yes?" Nick called back walking to the other man.
Warrick and Deb couldn't hear what was going on, but judging by Nick's change in posture and facial expressions, they knew that the news wasn't good.
"What's up?" Warrick asked in a subdued tone of voice when Nick came back to them.
"They're going to do a biopsy, because they can't tell if it's just a cyst or cancer. Again," Nick replied, looking defeated.
"Don't worry," Deb said, trying to reassure him, "Medicine is quite advanced, and Sara will most likely make a full recovery, whether they operate to remove the tumor, or bombard it with chemo and radiation."
"Thanks, for that Deb," Nick replied, "but not to sound like I don't believe you, but it's still unfair. I mean, I don't know how much more of this Sara can take. And the stakes are higher now."
"What?" Warrick asked in confusion.
"Sara's pregnant. Five weeks."
Deb's eyes almost immediately misted over with tears. "Oh my god!" she whispered. "That's horrible."
Nick opened his mouth to answer, but Dr. O'Connor, Sara's oncologist, interrupted, "Sorry, but Nick, I need to talk to you privately."
"If it's all the same to you, I would prefer if you told our best friends too. This is Dr. Deb Steinbaum and Warrick Brown, my coworker. They have every right to know what's going to happen too."
"If you want," the doctor replied simply. Looking at each of them in the eye, he continued, "As you probably heard, Nick, we can't tell what we're looking at by just going over the scan, and the biopsy is just a precaution. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"When was your wife's last checkup for recurrence?"
"Last year, um the fifth of July, I think. She was going to see our doctor for her annual checkup in a few days, actually."
"And she checked out normally?" Dr. O'Connor grilled Nick.
"Yeah, that's what Dr. Enriquez said." Nick confirmed. After thinking about it for a moment, he added, "Why?"
Dr. O'Connnor sighed. After rubbing his face with his left hand, he continued, "The tumor, as I will call it for lack of a better term, is too large to have just started growing a few months ago. It would have needed at least a year to get to the size that it is now."
"You're thinking doctor incompetence?" Deborah asked, wide-eyed in disbelief.
"I'm not ruling it out," the other doctor countered, "It may have been too small to detect anyway, or it didn't start forming until after the visit. Who knows anymore?"
"And Dr. O'Connor, there's something else I think your should know about," Nick said, "Sara's pregnant."
"Yes," the doctor sighed, "this could get very complicated, very fast. Dr. Feindstat informed me yesterday."
"Oh, right."
"Now, if you don't have any objections, Mr. Stokes, I would like to perform the biopsy today. I have a space cleared, and all I need is your signature," he continued, holding out a form, stating that Nick was in agreement that Sara could go under the knife. He didn't hesitate to do so.
********************************************
"This is bringing back some memories," Warrick commented, trying to lighten Nick's mood. "At least this time the biopsy isn't going to take three hours and the old lady from hell isn't here."
"Yeah," Nick replied without interest.
"Hey, man," Warrick started, "You know that Sara can handle this again if she has to, and that baby is half Sidle, so it's going to kick butt in any way it knows how."
"Yeah," Nick replied again, looking at his watch. Seeing that Deb was coming back to them, he asked her, "Do you know when they'll be done?"
"In about twenty," she replied, "they're just sewing her up and stuff, so just sit tight."
"Spoken like a doctor," Nick commented with a smirk.
"Hey! That's my fiancée you're dissing!" Warrick complained, "Don't make me come over there to make you apologize!"
"Now you know how I felt when you wouldn't leave me and Sara alone, man. But then again, I now know what if feels like to be the third wheel," Nick conceded. After a slight pause, he turned to Deb and said, "Sorry, nerves are getting to me."
She just waved it off. "Hey, I know how it feels to have no control over a situation. I see it everyday, and I know what if feels like to wait for an eternity. Just ask Warrick."
"Oh thanks, guys," Warrick muttered, "Gang up on me, why don't you?"
That little encounter was enough to make Nick crack a smile. A tight smile, but a smile no less.
"That's better," Deb beamed.
"Hey guys, miss me?" a familiar voice cut in on their conversation.
"Sara!" Nick exclaimed, "How are you honey? I've been so worried!"
"I've seen lots of better days, but with you beside me, I know I can handle it all." The tail end of her sentence was smothered by a deep kiss from Nick.
"I hate to break this up," Warrick interrupted, "but in the words of my dear friend Nick, here, 'Get a room',"
"And that's exactly what they are going to get," Dr. O'Connor broke in, "Well, more or less, at least for a few hours to let the anesthetics wear off and we've got the results."
**************************************************
Dr. O'Connor walked slowly into the room where the four friends were gathered. Nick took one look at the doctor, and knew that it was bad news. "Doc?" he asked slowly, afraid of the answer.
"It's malignant. Again," the doctor whispered sadly, "It's N stage, and we can't remove it without killing Sara."
"Oh, god, no!" Nick yelled, as his knees buckled beneath him. Warrick caught him just in time and literally manhandled him into the nearest chair. Sara starting weeping uncontrollably and Deb wrapped her arms around her, in the vain attempt at comfort.
The doctor continued softly, like he was saying a eulogy. "I've taken the liberty of contacting Dr. Feindstat, and he's on his way over as we speak."
"Thank you," Warrick replied for the visibly shaken couple. "Could you give us some time alone?"
"Of course." And leaving the same way he came in, Dr. O'Connor shut the door gently behind him.
********************************************
"Mr. and Mrs. Stokes?" Dr. Feindstat called out gently into the darkened room after he managed to convince Warrick and Deborah to leave for a few minutes.
"Yeah?" Nick's tired voice greeted him. He and Sara were so emotionally exhausted, that they didn't bother with manners.
"Is it all right if I turn the lights back on?"
"Go ahead," Sara replied.
As soon as he saw the couple, Dr. Feindstat's heart went out to them. They looked so lost, lying next to each other on the narrow hospital bed, barely blinking, even at the change in the lighting, staring at the wall, as though something, an answer, perhaps, was meant to materialize from it at any second.
"Get any sleep, you two?" Dr. O'Connor questioned as he and his colleague stepped through the doorway and into the room, shutting the door behind them.
"We tried," Nick replied, when he realized that they expected an answer of some sort.
"Good," Dr. Feindstat said soothingly. "We," he said, indicating himself and Dr. O'Connor, "have been going over the CT scans and medical charts. We're trying to find a plan of action that could save you, Sara, and your baby. Unfortunately, try as we might, there is no way to save both of you. One of you, yes, both of you, no."
"What?" Sara demanded weakly, turning her head slightly to be eye to eye with her specialists.
"You have two options," Dr. O'Connor explained, getting right to the point. "Surgery is out of the question, you'd both die. But you do have the two other options. One is that we bombard the tumor with as much radiation and chemo as we can, but that means losing the baby, or we can just not pursue any treatment, and the baby will live, but it comes at a high cost to you. You may not live to even see the birth of your baby."
"The way I see it," Sara replied, "my baby's damned either way. If I'm not alive, it can't live."
"I was going to go into specifics, actually," Dr. O'Connor said gently, "You see, chemo and radiation would give you a few more months to live than if we didn't treat you."
"How much longer?" Nick demanded, suddenly interested.
"We don't expect much, but-"
"How. Much. Longer?" Nick repeated, stressing each word.
"A couple of months. I'd have to say about a year at most. Without treatment, Sara would live maybe eight more months."
"Oh," Nick whispered, slipping into silence again.
"What about my baby? It will still die," Sara demanded.
"Not necessarily," Dr. Feindstat interjected, "At eight months, it's fairly safe to deliver a baby. It may be underweight, and premature, but it has a high chance of survival. And if you want, there is always the option of keeping you on life support until the baby comes to term. Sort of like a biological incubator. That's if you wanted to do that."
"Sara, you are not going to die for this baby," Nick insisted with such ferocious intensity, it scared her doctors. "Save yourself."
"I'm going to die, anyway, Nick, even if I have a few more months." That revelation hit Nick like a ton of bricks.
"You can't leave me alone."
"If I have the baby, you won't be left alone, you'd have it."
"Sara-"
"No. Listen, Nick. You know what was going through my head the entire time Drs. Feindstat and O'Connor were talking? Corinthians 13."
"Corinthians 13?" Nick repeated. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not seek its own interests, it believes all things, it bears all things. Not that the verse is necessarily in that order, but that's the general gist of it. I love our baby, Nick, and if that means I have to die for it, I will do so gladly. I will not be a hypocrite like Dr. Smith. I'm giving this baby every chance it can get, whether or not you support my decision," Sara answered firmly with conviction.
"You're not going to change your mind, are you?" Nick asked, knowing that Sara would not listen to any of his arguments.
"No. I'm sorry Nick, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. Remember when we got the case where five people beat a man to death, and Warrick asked me if I could take a life?"
"Yeah," Nick replied, remembering the conversation like it was yesterday.
"And I said that I couldn't, and I meant it then and I mean it now."
"Sara, I love you, and even if I think this is a half-brained plan, I'll support whatever decision you make," Nick replied, suddenly seeing the sense in what Sara was saying.
"Thank you, Nick," Sara said softly, "I knew there was a reason I loved you."
"So, it's all settled then?" Dr. O'Connor asked, worried that he was spoiling the moment with his words.
"Yeah," Sara replied, remembering the doctors that had been standing there quietly tears both threatening to cascade down their faces. "I don't want treatment, and I want to be put on life support if I don't survive until my baby's come to term."
"You're sure?" Dr. Feindstat asked on more time, as though she might change her mind again.
"Yes. I want my baby to have every opportunity in this world."
"Okay," he replied, looking at Dr. O'Connor, "I need you to sign here, here, and here." He held out a sheet and a pen. Sara didn't hesitate to sign.
**************************************************
I'm so sorry! I've done it again, and now Sara's going to die (but the baby's going to live, I promise!)
Please review!
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Nick started pacing the waiting room of the oncology department. Dr. Feindstat, not taking any risks, had promptly called Dr. O'Connor and set up a meeting between the two of them to discuss his findings. The day afterwards, Sara was taken in to have a CT scan and confirm or rule out the possibility of cancer.
"Nick! How are you man?" Warrick asked as soon as he stepped out of the elevators with Deborah rushing behind him.
"Is Sara alright?" she asked breathlessly.
"Yeah, a little shook up, that's all," Nick replied, "but we won't know anymore until the CT scan." Trying to find a lighter topic, he asked, "So, Deb, did my man propose yet?"
"Finally," Deb stressed giving Warrick an exasperated look.
"I'm sorry, baby, but as Nick puts it, I'm absolutely clueless," Warrick apologized, holding out his arms to give her a hug.
"I forgive you," Deb said with a smile as she returned the gesture. They were soon engaged in a liplock.
"You guys, as much as I hate to break this up," Nick began, "Get a room."
"You're going to be rubbing that in, aren't you?" Warrick demanded.
"Oh, yeah," Nick replied with a smirk.
"Mr. Stokes?" the CT technician called out from the other end of the room.
"Yes?" Nick called back walking to the other man.
Warrick and Deb couldn't hear what was going on, but judging by Nick's change in posture and facial expressions, they knew that the news wasn't good.
"What's up?" Warrick asked in a subdued tone of voice when Nick came back to them.
"They're going to do a biopsy, because they can't tell if it's just a cyst or cancer. Again," Nick replied, looking defeated.
"Don't worry," Deb said, trying to reassure him, "Medicine is quite advanced, and Sara will most likely make a full recovery, whether they operate to remove the tumor, or bombard it with chemo and radiation."
"Thanks, for that Deb," Nick replied, "but not to sound like I don't believe you, but it's still unfair. I mean, I don't know how much more of this Sara can take. And the stakes are higher now."
"What?" Warrick asked in confusion.
"Sara's pregnant. Five weeks."
Deb's eyes almost immediately misted over with tears. "Oh my god!" she whispered. "That's horrible."
Nick opened his mouth to answer, but Dr. O'Connor, Sara's oncologist, interrupted, "Sorry, but Nick, I need to talk to you privately."
"If it's all the same to you, I would prefer if you told our best friends too. This is Dr. Deb Steinbaum and Warrick Brown, my coworker. They have every right to know what's going to happen too."
"If you want," the doctor replied simply. Looking at each of them in the eye, he continued, "As you probably heard, Nick, we can't tell what we're looking at by just going over the scan, and the biopsy is just a precaution. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"When was your wife's last checkup for recurrence?"
"Last year, um the fifth of July, I think. She was going to see our doctor for her annual checkup in a few days, actually."
"And she checked out normally?" Dr. O'Connor grilled Nick.
"Yeah, that's what Dr. Enriquez said." Nick confirmed. After thinking about it for a moment, he added, "Why?"
Dr. O'Connnor sighed. After rubbing his face with his left hand, he continued, "The tumor, as I will call it for lack of a better term, is too large to have just started growing a few months ago. It would have needed at least a year to get to the size that it is now."
"You're thinking doctor incompetence?" Deborah asked, wide-eyed in disbelief.
"I'm not ruling it out," the other doctor countered, "It may have been too small to detect anyway, or it didn't start forming until after the visit. Who knows anymore?"
"And Dr. O'Connor, there's something else I think your should know about," Nick said, "Sara's pregnant."
"Yes," the doctor sighed, "this could get very complicated, very fast. Dr. Feindstat informed me yesterday."
"Oh, right."
"Now, if you don't have any objections, Mr. Stokes, I would like to perform the biopsy today. I have a space cleared, and all I need is your signature," he continued, holding out a form, stating that Nick was in agreement that Sara could go under the knife. He didn't hesitate to do so.
********************************************
"This is bringing back some memories," Warrick commented, trying to lighten Nick's mood. "At least this time the biopsy isn't going to take three hours and the old lady from hell isn't here."
"Yeah," Nick replied without interest.
"Hey, man," Warrick started, "You know that Sara can handle this again if she has to, and that baby is half Sidle, so it's going to kick butt in any way it knows how."
"Yeah," Nick replied again, looking at his watch. Seeing that Deb was coming back to them, he asked her, "Do you know when they'll be done?"
"In about twenty," she replied, "they're just sewing her up and stuff, so just sit tight."
"Spoken like a doctor," Nick commented with a smirk.
"Hey! That's my fiancée you're dissing!" Warrick complained, "Don't make me come over there to make you apologize!"
"Now you know how I felt when you wouldn't leave me and Sara alone, man. But then again, I now know what if feels like to be the third wheel," Nick conceded. After a slight pause, he turned to Deb and said, "Sorry, nerves are getting to me."
She just waved it off. "Hey, I know how it feels to have no control over a situation. I see it everyday, and I know what if feels like to wait for an eternity. Just ask Warrick."
"Oh thanks, guys," Warrick muttered, "Gang up on me, why don't you?"
That little encounter was enough to make Nick crack a smile. A tight smile, but a smile no less.
"That's better," Deb beamed.
"Hey guys, miss me?" a familiar voice cut in on their conversation.
"Sara!" Nick exclaimed, "How are you honey? I've been so worried!"
"I've seen lots of better days, but with you beside me, I know I can handle it all." The tail end of her sentence was smothered by a deep kiss from Nick.
"I hate to break this up," Warrick interrupted, "but in the words of my dear friend Nick, here, 'Get a room',"
"And that's exactly what they are going to get," Dr. O'Connor broke in, "Well, more or less, at least for a few hours to let the anesthetics wear off and we've got the results."
**************************************************
Dr. O'Connor walked slowly into the room where the four friends were gathered. Nick took one look at the doctor, and knew that it was bad news. "Doc?" he asked slowly, afraid of the answer.
"It's malignant. Again," the doctor whispered sadly, "It's N stage, and we can't remove it without killing Sara."
"Oh, god, no!" Nick yelled, as his knees buckled beneath him. Warrick caught him just in time and literally manhandled him into the nearest chair. Sara starting weeping uncontrollably and Deb wrapped her arms around her, in the vain attempt at comfort.
The doctor continued softly, like he was saying a eulogy. "I've taken the liberty of contacting Dr. Feindstat, and he's on his way over as we speak."
"Thank you," Warrick replied for the visibly shaken couple. "Could you give us some time alone?"
"Of course." And leaving the same way he came in, Dr. O'Connor shut the door gently behind him.
********************************************
"Mr. and Mrs. Stokes?" Dr. Feindstat called out gently into the darkened room after he managed to convince Warrick and Deborah to leave for a few minutes.
"Yeah?" Nick's tired voice greeted him. He and Sara were so emotionally exhausted, that they didn't bother with manners.
"Is it all right if I turn the lights back on?"
"Go ahead," Sara replied.
As soon as he saw the couple, Dr. Feindstat's heart went out to them. They looked so lost, lying next to each other on the narrow hospital bed, barely blinking, even at the change in the lighting, staring at the wall, as though something, an answer, perhaps, was meant to materialize from it at any second.
"Get any sleep, you two?" Dr. O'Connor questioned as he and his colleague stepped through the doorway and into the room, shutting the door behind them.
"We tried," Nick replied, when he realized that they expected an answer of some sort.
"Good," Dr. Feindstat said soothingly. "We," he said, indicating himself and Dr. O'Connor, "have been going over the CT scans and medical charts. We're trying to find a plan of action that could save you, Sara, and your baby. Unfortunately, try as we might, there is no way to save both of you. One of you, yes, both of you, no."
"What?" Sara demanded weakly, turning her head slightly to be eye to eye with her specialists.
"You have two options," Dr. O'Connor explained, getting right to the point. "Surgery is out of the question, you'd both die. But you do have the two other options. One is that we bombard the tumor with as much radiation and chemo as we can, but that means losing the baby, or we can just not pursue any treatment, and the baby will live, but it comes at a high cost to you. You may not live to even see the birth of your baby."
"The way I see it," Sara replied, "my baby's damned either way. If I'm not alive, it can't live."
"I was going to go into specifics, actually," Dr. O'Connor said gently, "You see, chemo and radiation would give you a few more months to live than if we didn't treat you."
"How much longer?" Nick demanded, suddenly interested.
"We don't expect much, but-"
"How. Much. Longer?" Nick repeated, stressing each word.
"A couple of months. I'd have to say about a year at most. Without treatment, Sara would live maybe eight more months."
"Oh," Nick whispered, slipping into silence again.
"What about my baby? It will still die," Sara demanded.
"Not necessarily," Dr. Feindstat interjected, "At eight months, it's fairly safe to deliver a baby. It may be underweight, and premature, but it has a high chance of survival. And if you want, there is always the option of keeping you on life support until the baby comes to term. Sort of like a biological incubator. That's if you wanted to do that."
"Sara, you are not going to die for this baby," Nick insisted with such ferocious intensity, it scared her doctors. "Save yourself."
"I'm going to die, anyway, Nick, even if I have a few more months." That revelation hit Nick like a ton of bricks.
"You can't leave me alone."
"If I have the baby, you won't be left alone, you'd have it."
"Sara-"
"No. Listen, Nick. You know what was going through my head the entire time Drs. Feindstat and O'Connor were talking? Corinthians 13."
"Corinthians 13?" Nick repeated. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not seek its own interests, it believes all things, it bears all things. Not that the verse is necessarily in that order, but that's the general gist of it. I love our baby, Nick, and if that means I have to die for it, I will do so gladly. I will not be a hypocrite like Dr. Smith. I'm giving this baby every chance it can get, whether or not you support my decision," Sara answered firmly with conviction.
"You're not going to change your mind, are you?" Nick asked, knowing that Sara would not listen to any of his arguments.
"No. I'm sorry Nick, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. Remember when we got the case where five people beat a man to death, and Warrick asked me if I could take a life?"
"Yeah," Nick replied, remembering the conversation like it was yesterday.
"And I said that I couldn't, and I meant it then and I mean it now."
"Sara, I love you, and even if I think this is a half-brained plan, I'll support whatever decision you make," Nick replied, suddenly seeing the sense in what Sara was saying.
"Thank you, Nick," Sara said softly, "I knew there was a reason I loved you."
"So, it's all settled then?" Dr. O'Connor asked, worried that he was spoiling the moment with his words.
"Yeah," Sara replied, remembering the doctors that had been standing there quietly tears both threatening to cascade down their faces. "I don't want treatment, and I want to be put on life support if I don't survive until my baby's come to term."
"You're sure?" Dr. Feindstat asked on more time, as though she might change her mind again.
"Yes. I want my baby to have every opportunity in this world."
"Okay," he replied, looking at Dr. O'Connor, "I need you to sign here, here, and here." He held out a sheet and a pen. Sara didn't hesitate to sign.
**************************************************
I'm so sorry! I've done it again, and now Sara's going to die (but the baby's going to live, I promise!)
Please review!
