Title: The Paradox of Existence
Author: DragonLight
Summary: The future repeats itself in the past
Pairing: HP/SS
Rating: R or NC-17, depending where you are
Archive: here, my site, and the SnapexHarryML - both web addresses can be found on my aurthor profile page
Author Note: Huge thanks to my beta Isis. Any mistakes you find are mine, and I accept full blame for them.
Thank You: ZetaStar, athenakitty, Emma, Jordan, TigerBlak, Akemi (hello), Lexi, Maharet, shakiya, white owl, Shi-koi (*preens*), SparkySparkles, Quickjewel, Saavik, Wormtail's worst enemy (hello to you, too), Shadow vampire, Kitty, Lyla Snape, Mrs. Aish Luthor
Cat Samwise: Oh they noticed, they all just decided to keep their mouths shut (or in Sirius' case being held back by Draco and Remus). I had that in there originally, but I thought it made the ending look weak. (I cut it out before it went to my beta) Sorry.
Teigra: Of course Severus is difficult. He wouldn't be Severus otherwise. ;o)
Kristine Thorne: Much thanks goes to Isis for that. I'm flattered that I drew such a reaction from you. Hopefully this chapter will make you laugh, instead of cry. =o)
two2blue: stop with the time reference, you'll only give yourself a headache... trust me. Another strong reaction. I think I'm gonna go cry.
me3gogi: sorry no pic, I can't draw. Although if you can, or know someone who can, I'd love a picture of any of the characters (as portrayed in Paradox of course)
Cloudburst2000: I didn't go into Harry's thoughts about the relationship in the last chapter, but I did in this chapter. Severus knew about the extent of the relationship; nothing has happened that Sev hasn't already known would. As for Harry taking responsibility for his actions, let's just say I have no intention of making Harry's life easy.
venus4280: You are the only one that commented on that. I find it a little disturbing too. And I know how it happened. We are getting close to the end of the mission, it's May now and the school term ends in June.
Disclaimer: All characters that are the least bit familiar belong to JKR-same with places and items. Don't recognize it then it's mine.
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Chapter 16: I'm Talking, but You Aren't Listening
*The Future: Toward the end of Harry's Seventh Year*
Severus watched as the door closed behind Harry. He looked around the room and took in everything he saw. The mussed sheets on the bed, the two glasses on the side table by the chairs, the pile of essays he hadn't yet finished grading, a book that Harry had been in the middle of reading, the quill that Harry kept forgetting here as an excuse for him to come back. So many little things that were out of place.
The bed should be made; it was only a little before midnight, and Severus never went to bed that early. There should only be one glass on the side table; Harry shouldn't be drinking during training sessions. The pile of essays should have been graded hours ago. Harry's quill and book shouldn't just be left lying around his chambers.
But Severus didn't want to change any of those things. He liked the way that Harry seemed to belong in his dungeons. And that disturbed him. A man in his late thirties shouldn't like the idea that a seventeen-year-old boy fit into his life.
Severus wasn't fond of the way that Harry had wormed his way into his life. Into his heart. Yet the boy had done so anyway. And worse than that, Severus had allowed him to.
Severus had given into the need to be with someone that understood him; both the darkness that encased his soul, and the light that he stood in. Harry understood, and, even better, never judged him for it.
He wondered if he should put this much emotion into a relationship with someone who was only seventeen. The heart did weird things at that age; it tended to be fickle.
Severus stood up and walked over to his desk. He started to grade the essays that he had put off while Harry had been there. After a time he noticed the quill he was using was Harry's. He closed both his eyes and his fist. The quill snapped in his hand. There was no escaping him.
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Severus entered Albus' office and approached the desk. The Headmaster was nowhere in sight. "Albus?"
"The sitting room, Severus." Severus made his way around the desk to the other room. Albus was sitting at a table that held what Severus referred to as 'the oddest chess set he'd ever seen'. He had heard Minerva call it 'Albus' table of peculiar toys'. Everyone seemed to have their own name for it. Albus never talked about it, but at times one could find him moving one of the eighty odd pieces from board to board.
The 'game' was made up of seven boards, only two of which were flat; all the others were angled in different directions at different heights, held up by permanent levitation spells. There were obviously two sides, black and white, although they weren't always equal. Sometimes the black would have more pieces, at others the white. Some of the pieces appeared to be in between - a gray color. Each piece moved independently from the others, seemingly at Albus' whim. The shapes of the pieces were the oddest Severus had ever seen. They didn't look like chess pieces. Instead they were in different geometric shapes, at least some of them, others were just indescribable. Every single piece was different. The game fascinated Severus. If only he could figure it out.
"Tea?" A single cup of tea was floating toward him. Knowing it was useless to deny the proffered cup, Severus snatched it out of the air.
"I haven't come for tea, Albus. I've come to resign."
Albus looked up from his game. "How is Mr. Potter's training going, Severus?"
"Fine." Severus snapped out the answer. "Did you even hear me, Albus?"
Albus looked at him with deceptively innocent, wide eyes. "Had you said something?"
Severus pressed his lips together in a tight line. Albus was being purposely difficult. Again. He looked on as Albus picked up one of the white pieces and moved it. "I said that I've come to resign."
"Harry is showing the signs?" Albus turned those damned eyes back to him. "Signs of what, Severus?"
"Potter has absolutely nothing to do with this discussion."
"How can we talk about Harry's training if we don't discuss him?" Severus was forced to snap his mouth shut when Albus started to talk. "Sirius has been telling me how well he has been doing in his training. Both Harry and young Mr. Malfoy." Albus paused long enough for a breath, but not long enough for Severus to break in. "Has his magical training with you been going well, Severus?"
"Fine, I believe I already told you that, Albus. It really shows that you don't listen."
"My hearing is perfect. You came up here to talk with me about Harry's training."
Severus almost felt his right cheek twitch. An image of his hands happily strangling Albus popped into his mind. He quickly pushed it aside. "Actually, Albus-"
"There's a problem with Harry's training?" Albus seemed crestfallen. "I was going to send him out over the Easter holidays. He would be invaluable when we attempt to take Voldemort's stronghold."
That comment successfully startled Severus out of his reoccurring daydreams of Albus' untimely demise. "What?" Albus couldn't send Harry into a situation like that. He wasn't-"He's not ready, Albus!"
Albus' eyes flickered toward Severus for a moment before summoning up a plate of biscuits. "Care for one, Severus? The house elves made these especially for me."
Severus jerked his head in terse refusal. "I mean it Albus, Ha- Potter's not ready to be sent out into the field on such a mission."
Severus noticed Albus' eyes narrowing in a measuring way. "Sirius seems to think that *Harry* is ready."
So Albus had noticed his almost slip. Severus curled his lip in disgust, both at himself and the mention of Harry's godfather. "Good-for-nothing, mangy mongrel."
"What was that?" Albus' eyes were sparkling in amusement. "I didn't quite catch what you said, Severus."
"Oh, you heard me. You were the one that said your hearing was flawless." Severus' voice was sharp.
"Perhaps." Albus bit into a biscuit, the crumbs falling into his beard. "I've decided that Harry shall be going on his first *overt* mission." It never ceased to amaze Severus how Albus could talk about something so serious, yet at the same time, look ridiculous. Some tea had dribbled down his chin to mix with the crumbs in his beard. "I'm sure that Sirius and Remus can keep an eye on him."
"Those two canines?" A bitter edge had entered Severus' voice. "They're more likely to get him killed than anything else."
"Severus." Albus' tone was reproachful. "You know that Remus and Sirius would do anything for that boy." Albus brushed off his beard and leaned forward in his seat. "Harry has been progressing magnificently." He waved his hand at the empty chair near him, motioning for Severus to sit. Severus shook his head. "Sit." Severus did so. That tone always made him feel like a schoolboy, a feeling which he hated. "Now, Severus, why don't you tell me how far Harry got in his training last night. I believe you are working on shielding?"
"He was doing much better at mutating his shields then he has been. They switched fluidly, and almost faultlessly." Severus' voice was impassive.
"Good. I'm glad that he's come so far." Albus paused before taking another bite out of one of his biscuits. "Training him hasn't been a problem? He mentioned that you had been a little… short with him last week. When he was having trouble mutating his spells."
Severus didn't answer immediately. He didn't quite know what to say; he had lost control of the conversation the second Albus had opened his mouth. Severus sipped his lukewarm tea while he tried to phrase his response.
"Severus?"
"No, Harry hasn't been too much trouble. It had just been a trying day. What ever you had said to him before our last training session must have stuck. He was able to learn much more quickly."
Albus' eyes had widened during Severus' answer. "I only showed Harry a few tricks." Now Albus' expression could only be termed buoyant and inquisitive. "Harry, Severus?"
Severus smirked. He hadn't been put into Slytherin for nothing. "Yes. Harry is Mr. Potter's first name, isn't it?"
Albus blinked before responding. "I hadn't realized you were on such good terms, with young Harry." Albus smiled at him, his eyes sparkling. "It's about time too."
"Harry and I have come to understand each other." Severus sent his cup to rest on a table next to Albus. Successfully getting Albus off a topic was an achievement. "Now, I came here to talk about my resignation."
"Was the tea not to your liking, Severus?"
"Albus." Severus used his best growl, not that it ever worked on the Headmaster.
"Would you like another cup?" Albus had already started to pour Severus a fresh cup of tea, complete with a slight twist of lemon.
"No, Albus. My resignation." Severus reached into his robes. "I have my letter here." He pulled out an envelope, and attempted to hand it to Albus. He didn't take it.
"Put it away, Severus." Albus' sharp tone changed in the next second to his usual jovial one. "Have some pudding with me?" Severus shook his head. "A lemon drop then?" Again Severus shook his head. Albus sighed. "Why?"
"My integrity will not allow for me to remain here as a teacher."
"Why ever not? Tell it to be quiet."
"Albus, be serious."
"I like being Albus Dumbledore, thank you. I have no intention of ever turning into Sirius Black." Albus grinned at him.
"That joke has been going on since I was a first year, Albus. Don't you think that it is a little old?"
Albus scrunched his nose; his eyes were twinkling with amusement. "I'm a little old. The joke is fairly new. Besides, I like it. I find it humorous."
"My letter, Albus." Severus once more extended the letter. Albus still ignored it. Severus wasn't going to give up. "Why won't you take it?"
"You never did tell me why."
"I find that I cannot in good conscience stay and teach."
"Care to explain?"
"It's all in my letter." Severus held out the letter for the third time.
"I touch that letter, and you'll head straight out the door." Albus had turned serious. "I know you, Severus. There is a reason for this." Albus warmed Severus' tea back up, and handed it over to the younger man. "What is troubling you?"
"Nothing." Severus took the tea, and cradled it in his hands. He had turned his face away from Albus.
"Do you regret taking Harry on as your mentee?"
"More than you will ever know." Severus' whisper wasn't meant for Albus to hear.
"How so?"
"He is an impertinent brat that doesn't know how to respect his betters." Severus spit out each word through clenched teeth.
"Really? I have always found Harry to be tremendously polite."
"Perhaps you have not spent enough time with him then." Severus stood up and moved to the other side of the room. He did not want to talk about this with Albus. He didn't want to talk about it at all.
"I don't think that a couple hours a week training him in advanced spell casting can impose on you too much."
"It imposes on me more than you understand. Harry has this way-" Severus quickly shut his mouth. Albus always knew how to get to him. Just like Harry.
"This way of what? Severus?"
"Nothing, Headmaster. Take the letter."
"No. I will not let you leave this school. You leave, and your life is forfeit." Albus leveled a hard glare at Severus. "The only reason that Voldemort hasn't killed you yet is because of the information you supply him about my 'little' force." Severus looked away; Albus continued. "Besides, I don't think that Harry would like seeing you dead. I think that he has become a trifle fond of you, Severus."
"Too fond."
"I beg your pardon?"
Severus swallowed. It was the only way out. "He's become too fond, Albus. I am not made out of stone."
Albus smirked. "Of course not, Severus. You couldn't move if you were made of stone. Let alone teach."
"You are being purposely obtuse."
"Severus, I understand that the boy's affections must rattle you. Explain to him you are not interested. Push him away, harshly if you feel you must. Harry is resilient. He'll bounce back. Like a muggle rubber duckie."
Severus couldn't understand how a plastic duck would bounce. "Too late for that, I'm afraid." Severus' back was still facing away from the other man.
"I see." Albus' voice sounded impassive to Severus' ears.
"Then you understand why I must resign."
"I understand that you are using me to escape your problems." Severus turned around to face Albus. "And I will not have it." Albus' gaze was shuttered. The old wizard knew how to close off his reactions; he rarely did so, but he knew how. "You got yourself into this situation, you can get yourself out of it." There was a slight pause before he continued. "If you want to, of course."
"Albus-" Severus stopped at Albus' raised hand.
"I suggest you talk this over with Harry. Make sure you do so soon. He has been quite busy preparing to leave."
"Leave?"
"Yes. Harry is moving to Romania at the end of the year. He wants to work with dragons for a time. The two of us have been working arranging everything with Charlie Weasley." Albus paused for a moment to pick up another biscuit. In a moment he looked like his normal eccentric self. "Hasn't he mentioned it?"
"No." Severus was feeling rather blank; the news startled him.
"Well, I'm sure that he was going to tell you."
"Of course."
"Why don't you get back to your work, Severus? I'm sure that you have a ton of parchment to grade." Albus waved his hand dismissively, and turned back to his chess game.
Severus set down his cup and exited the office. Halfway to dungeons he realized how horribly the conversation with Albus went. Not only had Albus not accepted his resignation letter, but he had told Albus the scope of his relationship with Harry, and he had discovered that Harry was moving at the end of the year.
He needed to have a long conversation with the young Mr. Potter.
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By the time that Severus had reached his rooms in the dungeons, he had given out three detentions, removed a total of 75 house points from the other three houses, and even managed to make a group of Slytherins scatter out of his way.
Most pleasing though, was the sound that his door made when he slammed it shut.
Harry was leaving. That thought made Severus move to his cabinet to pull out a bottle of brandy. The thought that at the end of the school year he would be alone had Severus gulping down two glasses of the stuff. Pouring another glass, Severus sat in his chair by the fire.
He had told himself that *children* at that age were fickle. And now the proof of it had been thrown into his face.
Harry hadn't mentioned that he was going anywhere. He was probably going to leave without ever bringing it up. Whenever Severus had asked, Harry had always said he didn't know what he wanted to do after he finished at Hogwarts. That he would probably stay, and work with the Order. After all, that was what everyone expected of him, wasn't it?
Severus had hated it when Harry had said that. Harry was young, he should be able to go out and experience life. See that the world had more to offer than deranged murders that obsessed over his death. And Severus had told him that.
He had told Harry that he shouldn't stay because he felt loyalty to Albus, or Sirius, or to the wizarding world. That he shouldn't stay because of him, either.
In his head it made sense that Harry had decided to do something with his life on his own. It was good that he had. But the thought that Harry hadn't talked to him about it tugged at Severus, had somehow hurt him. After all, Harry maintained that they were in a relationship. And weren't people in relationships supposed to discuss things?
Severus remembered the relationships he had had when he was younger. Not that he had dated much; in fact, he hadn't dated at all during his last year. He was too busy trying to repent for his sins. He still was, for that matter.
His seventh year had been spent learning how to spy on Voldemort. He wouldn't have had to learn that, if it hadn't been for what he had thought was love.
Did Harry think that he was in love with him? He had said as much, but Severus knew not to trust it. He knew because he himself had once thought he was in love with his teacher. And he had been wrong.
Severus hadn't been in love with Octavian Tyler. And he had just recently realized that. It had taken Harry Potter to show him how wrong he was.
His relationship with Harry was far from perfect. They sniped, yelled, and, at times, honestly despised each other. Severus even threatened to kill the brat on occasion. Of course, Harry would only smirk at that.
But Severus would lay down his life for Harry, and Harry would do the same for him. Severus wasn't sure if that was love, but it was something. And whatever it was, it was certainly stronger than what he had had with Octavian Tyler.
Severus now understood his former teacher a little better. Harry had pursued him; similarly he had pursued Professor Tyler. In the end, a relationship, of sorts, had developed. One that had been ended rather harshly, with a sharp dose of reality.
He didn't know how similar his relationship with Harry was to his with Tyler. It was definitely different. There were times when it seemed that Tyler had hated him, wanted him dead. Then there were the times that he had seen… something, in the older man.
Perhaps it had been a misplaced sense of affection that Severus had taken to mean something more. Perhaps it was all just wishful thinking on the part of his younger self. But if anything had been there, it hadn't been for him.
Severus' eyes landed on the door. In a way he wished that it would just open, and someone, anyone, would come and save him from thinking. Well, anyone other than Black… or Albus. He didn't think he could tolerate the rest of the teachers either. He didn't want to deal with Remus constantly asking him what was the matter, or some such nonsense, and Draco would probably get on his nerves with what Draco would call pleasantries but which he regarded as idle chatter. Harry… he could deal with Harry.
Harry would sit in his chair -- Severus didn't know when the chair the brat always sat in had become his -- and not talk. He would either read, or work on assignments, but he wouldn't interfere. He would just be there. The only person that Severus knew who could do that.
But soon Severus wouldn't have that reprieve. Damn the brat. And damn his inconsiderate nature.
Severus reached out to grasp his glass from the side table; his hand brushed a piece of paper that he hadn't noticed before. He picked it up and squinted at Harry's messy scrawl. Wouldn't he ever learn proper penmanship?
*//Sev,
Came by to talk to you. Wanted to tell you that I've finally decided what to do with myself after Hogwarts. It's all set, too. Albus and I have been working on it for weeks. I can't wait to tell you all about it. You were right about getting away from here. I'll stop by later.
Harry
P.S. I saw my quill, by the way. You owe me a new one.//*
Severus sniffed. Perhaps he would have to reevaluate his opinion on Harry's nature. Then again, perhaps not. Harry could have waited for him to return.
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*The Past*
"Five points from Slytherin, Mr. Snape. This work is far below par."
Severus looked up from where he was writing. Professor Tyler was standing over his desk looking down on his work. His impeccably neat, well-thought-out work. There was no way that it was 'under par'. "But, sir-"
"Talking out of turn, Snape? That'll be ten points from Slytherin." Professor Tyler turned and walked over to lean against his desk. Severus just stared at him for a few minutes. Professor Tyler smirked in response. "I see that you aren't paying attention to your test, another five points, Snape."
Severus sucked in a breath and returned to his work. Today wasn't going as well as he had planned. He breathed a sigh of relief when class was dismissed. He placed his paper on the desk, and exited the classroom. On his way he had to pass Professor Tyler who, for some reason, was rather upset with him. "Your tie isn't tied properly, Snape. And it's a little too loose. School regulations demand that I take 15 points for improper uniform." His professor smiled nicely and then retreated to his desk.
Severus made his way out of the classroom. Potter and his friends were hanging out in the hallway.
"I don't know, Snape. Your shirt doesn't seem to be totally tucked in. What did Professor Tyler say about improper uniform, James? Fifteen points, didn't he? As a prefect, it's your duty to remove points." Sirius smirked at Severus.
"Shut the hell up, Black! No one asked for your opinion!" Severus was fuming.
"Mr. Snape. There is no yelling in the hallways, that'll be detention and another five points. Wait for me in my classroom." Professor Tyler had been standing in the doorway watching the confrontation. At least detention didn't sound so bad. Severus headed back over to the classroom. Professor Tyler was addressing the boys behind him. "You're looking well, boys."
"Yes, we're doing quite well, Professor. How are you doing?" Sirius Black was the one to respond for the group.
"I'm doing very well. Thank you for asking. My day has been looking up. Such good manners deserve five points. Don't you think so, Mr. Black?" Severus watched as Professor Tyler *winked* at Black.
Black gave a huge smile in return. "Thank you, Professor." Black even had the nerve to chuckle. He turned and smirked at Severus who was standing by the door to the classroom. Severus glared back and on his way into the room, gave into his infantile impulses and kicked the door.
"Ten points from Slytherin for damaging school property, Snape." Professor Tyler had the gall to whistle as he entered the classroom.
Severus was seething. His eyes were narrowed as Professor Tyler sat at his desk. The only bright spot of hope was that Professor Tyler had agreed with his note and had decided to pursue a relationship. That could explain the points he was losing. A cover-up. And detention…
"Your detention will be served tomorrow night at 9pm. You are to meet Mr. Filch at his office, and he will be assigning you some work to do. Without magic." Any hope that Severus had died a quick death.
"Filch?"
"Filch. Good day, Mr. Snape." The smile that Professor Tyler had on his face was utterly demonic.
Severus forced himself to smile in return. "Thank you, sir. I hope that you have a good day too." Severus quickly left the classroom. Maybe the letter hadn't been such a smart idea. It had always been a fault of his, that innate need to have the last word.
This went on for days. "This homework is late. It was supposed to be in five minutes ago. Ten points, Snape."
"But, professor, class just ended, everyone's not even out of the room yet." Severus sighed.
"Do not talk back, Mr. Snape." Professor Tyler picked up his quill. "Report to Filch at the normal time for your detention."
"Yes, Professor."
…Severus and Lucius were sprinting down the hall, late for a house meeting. Unfortunately, they ran into Professor Tyler.
"No running in the halls. That's five points off of each of you." Professor Tyler looked them up and down. "Your shoes are scuffed, Snape. Improper uniform again. That'll be another fifteen points."
Severus started to answer back, but Lucius pulled on his arm. "Shut up, or it'll be another detention. Your fourth this week," Lucius hissed through clenched teeth. Turning to Professor Tyler he smiled. "Have a nice day, Professor."
A nod was his only reply. Professor Tyler turned around and headed the opposite way down the corridor.
Lucius turned to Severus. "What did you do to royally irritate him?"
"I don't think that you want to know. Ask me again later."
…Severus tapped his fingers against the top of the desk in the library. He was working on his History of Magic essay. Causes of the Goblin Revolution of 15-something-or-other. There were really too many of the things to count. Unfortunately Professor Binns was obsessed with them.
"Mr. Snape, this is a library, not a concert hall. Cease your drumming," Professor Tyler whispered a few feet away. "Oh, I almost forgot. Five points for disturbing the peace." Professor Tyler made a selection off one of the shelves and headed toward the exit.
…Snape paused in the doorway. A few feet down the corridor were Professor Tyler and Professor McGonagall, talking about him.
"Now, Octavian, don't take me wrong. I want Gryffindor to win the House Cup, but aren't you being a little hard on Severus Snape?"
One eyebrow rose in a questioning manner. "Do you think so, Minerva? I just don't know."
"The boy has lost close to a hundred points in the last 5 days. And detention four times!"
"Ah, yes." Professor Tyler sighed. "Mr. Filch was just telling me that the trophies and cases have never been shinier." He smiled at Professor McGonagall.
"Octavian, I've never had a problem with Severus. He's one of the brightest, most well behaved boys in his year."
"But he's conceited. Everyone needs to be taken down a notch now and again."
"True, he is a little full of himself, but everyone has his faults." Professor McGonagall shook her head. "I don't think that we should punish students for just being."
"Don't worry, I'm not." Professor Tyler's voice was clipped.
"Those reasons that you are coming up with are downright petty, Tyler." Professor McGonagall's voice was harsh.
"Are they really? What about this one, then? Snape, stop hiding in that doorway, you've heard enough of this conversation. Or didn't your parents teach you that it was impolite to eavesdrop?"
Professor McGonagall whipped around and spotted him. She held out a hand to stop Professor Tyler's rant. She sighed before speaking. "Ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Snape. I'm afraid that Professor Tyler is righ. One should not eavesdrop on teachers' conversation." She shrugged her shoulders and moved off.
After she had rounded the corner, Professor Tyler approached him. "Personally, I think that you got off too lightly. For listening in on *my* conversation, you get a detention. Meet Filch at nine."
"Yes, Professor." Severus backed through the doorway the way he came. His life was hell, and Professor Tyler was making sure it stayed that way.
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Harry pushed the quill and parchment away from him. Leaning back in his chair, he tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. He was done. Finally, after nine months of translating written parseltongue, he was done. The sad part was that over half of the scroll had been self-aggrandizing crap. Wading his way through it had been tedious, highly annoying, and for the most part useless.
Useless, because working out the details of each attack was like searching for a specific wand in Ollivander's. It could be done, but unless you were Ollivander, it could take days, months, maybe years. He had barely uncovered the plot against the Weasleys in time. That had been when he just started translating the scroll, however. Within the scroll, Harry had uncovered, attacks against aurors, other Ministry officials, Order members, and a lot of others. But just because he had learned about the attacks didn't mean that he was always able to stop them.
Out of all the attacks that he had translated, only a handful struck him personally. The first was the attack against the Weasleys. The thought that Voldemort had tried to kill them all upset him. The twins, Ron and Ginny - none of them had even been born yet. Harry had almost lost his adopted family before ever getting the chance to know them.
The second had been his grandfather. He had never met his grandfather, but a part of him had always thought that maybe his grandfather had known him. But that wasn't the case; they had never known each other. The irony of the whole situation had hit him hard. His grandfather, his namesake, had been killed because he didn't trust the translation of his grandson. Granted, Harold Potter hadn't known that the man who was translating the scroll was in reality his grandson. A question nagged at the back of Harry's mind: would it have made a difference if Harold had known? Or was he just distressed because he was a Parselmouth, an ability associated with the Dark? To this day Harry couldn't speak parseltongue in front of Ron and most of the Weasleys with out them overreacting to it. Even more irony was to be found in the fact that his father had named him after his grandfather, without ever knowing that his son would go back in time, and end up being responsible for his namesake's death.
Harry shifted in his seat. Thinking of these two attacks, one successful and one not, made him think of what he had just translated. The end of the scroll had been the details of another attack, a large scale one. Mass slaughter of a group of children, so that Voldemort could demoralize the Wizarding community. His plan was to clearly demolish the idea that parents could send their children to school, and know that nothing bad was going to happen to them. Voldemort was going to destroy the Hogwarts Express while every child that attended the school was onboard. And for the life of him, Harry didn't know how it was going to be stopped. He would likely never know, unless he asked Albus when he went back to the future. He wasn't welcome to the strategy meetings of this Order.
What if he hadn't translated it in time? For all Harry knew, he could go back and find that everything was different. If he didn't get the information to Albus, then Severus, and his father, Sirius, Remus, all the other children he had gotten to know, would have died on the train. He himself would never be born. Voldemort would still be in power. It was a heavy weight for him to carry.
If he could, he'd rush up to talk to Albus right at that moment. But that was useless. It was approximately four in the morning. At least he thought that it was four in the morning. Harry looked around the windowless room. There was nothing on the walls, and the furniture only consisted of his and one other chair, and the table.
Oh well, thought Harry, there would still be time to contact Albus in the morning. It was only mid May, the train wouldn't leave until mid June. There was a month left to figure things out.
Which also meant there was only a month left to figure out what was going on in his life. His life that seemed to be falling apart around him.
The last time that *his* Severus had come to visit came to mind. He had wanted to talk to Severus, explain that it had all been a mistake. That he didn't mean to sleep with him. Well, the younger him. God, he was so confused. It was almost as if they were two different people, but at the same time, Harry could see the qualities that assured him both Severuses were actually one and the same.
Harry knew he was different from the way he had been at sixteen and seventeen. He had grown up, and subconsciously, he knew that Severus must have done so also. But to actually *see* Severus when he was young and vulnerable, when he was *weak*, had just thrown him.
Severus had strength of character that Harry had always noticed, even when he was being yelled at when he was thirteen years old. As he got older, Harry began to admire that quality in his professor. That admiration, along with being paired up with Severus, had led to respect and ultimately, love.
When faced with the young Severus Snape, Harry couldn't help but see someone young and foolish with childish ideals, who would eventually grow up into someone older, and infinitely wiser. But he also had qualities that attracted Harry to this young version of his lover. His vulnerability was just one.
Severus Snape, at sixteen years of age, was someone that Harry could inherently relate to. He had insecurities, he wasn't sure of everything he was doing. And at times, Harry thought he could see a little foolhardiness in him. All things that he would never associate with Severus as an adult.
And that was something that Harry had to admit to himself that he wanted, even if only temporarily. In this relationship he was the strong one. The partner that was sure of himself. He was the adult. It was a heady feeling. To be the one that is looked up to.
His relationship with Severus had never been that way. At first he had looked up to his lover. Severus was older than him, had experienced more than he had. That was one of the reasons that Harry had left after he finished Hogwarts. He needed to experience life. Life without an insane megalomaniac following him around trying to kill him.
When he had come back, his relationship with Severus had changed. After a year he was no longer dependent on his lover. He had learned to stand on his own two feet. That didn't mean their relationship was simple and easy to manage. The fact that Harry had left both weakened yet strengthened their relationship.
It had been weakened, because Harry had left. They didn't see each other for the entire year. Severus had sent him letters, but they were, more often then not, emotionally detached. Harry knew that Severus was letting him go, so that he could grow. And he had grown. That year was also the year that his relationship with Draco had developed into a friendship; after all, they couldn't kill each other in letters. It had started out with Albus telling Draco that it would be his responsibility to inform Harry of what was going on in the Order. It had grown from there.
Harry remembered one letter from Severus better than all the others. It had been about Draco. Harry had been living with Charlie, who noticed the amount of letters he received from Draco. Charlie had written home about Draco and Harry, thinking that they were romantically involved. Somehow, Severus had found out about it -- probably from Sirius or Remus, who hadn't known about their relationship at the time -- and had written Harry a nice note telling him that he was free to pursue any relationship that he wanted to. That he wouldn't get in the way of Harry's happiness. Harry had left Romania a month and a half early because of that.
And that showed them how much their relationship had strengthened. Harry came back, and the first thing he did was *not* run to tell Severus how wrong he was. He invited Draco to dinner, instead. And at the end of the night, when he showed up outside Severus' door, he said, "Sorry, but there just isn't anything that I can possibly see in a relationship with Draco. What we have is special, Severus."
In the end, Harry had become someone whose mind wasn't easily changed. In that he had ceased being a child, and Severus had ceased to treat him as such. They had become equals, and could build a relationship on that. Neither stronger, nor weaker, than the other.
It was a relationship that Harry cherished. No matter how hard he looked, he wouldn't be able to find another like it. It fulfilled him in a way that the rest of his life couldn't. With Severus, he wasn't 'The-Boy-Who-Lived', or a commanding officer in the Auror Division of the Ministry, or a member of the Order of the Phoenix, or James' son, or anything else that people could label him as. He was just Harry James Potter.
And Severus was Severus, no matter what time Harry was in. No matter how much Severus got on his nerves, Harry loved him. And now, Harry missed him. Missed him so much, in fact, that he was looking for *his* Severus in a sixteen year old. And, to a point, finding his lover there. Not the mature older, man that Harry always associated Severus with being, but the essence of *his* Severus was there.
Harry had reached for that, along with all the other things that attracted him to the young Severus Snape, when offered. Knowing it was wrong, but at the same time not caring.
Thinking about it, Harry saw everything. He knew what he was doing was, in a sense, wrong. He knew why he was doing it. But none of this meant that, when faced with *his* Severus, he would be off the hook. When he went back to his own time, he would have a lot of explaining to do. To someone that was hurt, and angry as hell at him.
And at that moment, Harry wanted nothing more than to go back to his Severus. What the young Severus had was not what Harry needed. What Harry needed was *his* Severus. The equality, understanding, and love that Harry could only find with him.
Harry swore that he would leave Hogwarts the first opportunity he could get. Now that his obligation to the Order was done, Harry wanted out. And he knew just how to go about it.
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Harry muttered the password and waited until the gargoyle moved aside. As he approached the door he thought of everything he planned to say to the Headmaster. Luckily, he could do it all with a clear conscience. Well, almost clear conscience. Just as he was about to knock, Albus' voice drifted through the door. "Come in, Octavian."
Pushing open the door, Harry made his way into the office. It was surprisingly similar to the office that Dumbledore kept in the future. Only a few things were different. "Headmaster?"
"I'll be right there, just have a seat, my boy." Harry sat down in one of the seats across from Dumbledore's large desk. Turning his head he noticed that Fawkes was preening his feathers. He had always liked Dumbledore's phoenix. The Fawkes of this time period ignored him, however. Albus had told him not to worry about it too much.
Albus entered his office from the back room and sat down at the desk. He shuffled around a bunch of his papers before turning to Harry. Picking up a small bowl, he held it out. "Lemon drop?"
Harry almost laughed. Albus hadn't offered him a lemon drop since he had threatened to turn his skin purple for a week if he did. That had been in the future though. This Albus didn't know the hazards of offering Harry lemon drops. "No, thank you, Albus. I'm not particularly fond of lemon drops."
"Biscuits and tea then?"
"No, I'm all right. I'm here to discuss the scroll. I've finished translating it."
"That's nice, my boy." Harry watched as Albus signaled for Fawkes to come over to him. The phoenix spread it's wings and landed on the armrest of Albus' chair.
"I assume that you would like to know what it says."
"All in good time. I'm sure that there is no great rush." Albus slowly petted the phoenix and looked at him with twinkling eyes. "How have you been?"
"Fine, Albus. I think that you should hear this."
"I'm sure. You'll tell me in a minute." Albus scratched lightly under Fawkes' beak, and the phoenix seemed to purr in response. "How have your classes been going so far?"
"Fine. Albus, I think that you should hear this." Harry continued before he could be interrupted. "Voldemort is plotting to blow up the train."
"That's nice, Octavian…" Albus trailed off. "Blow up the train? What train?"
"The Hogwarts Express."
"And when was he planning on doing this?"
Harry wanted to scream, when did he *think* that Voldemort would want to blow up the train? His annoyance brought out his sarcastic streak. "When all the students are on it, of course."
"I don't quite follow you, Octavian."
"On the way back to King's Cross on the last day of the term."
"That isn't very good news. Why would he do that? I know that he has been looking into recruiting students from the school. He wouldn't want to blow them up, now would he?"
"I don't think that Voldemort particularly cares one way or the other, Albus. In the scroll he says that the loss of a few potential followers would be worth the destruction of a generation. This will have a horribly crippling effect on the Wizarding world."
"Oh dear. Did he say how he was going to go about it?"
"No, it was rather vague. The only real details were that it would be destroyed somewhere between here and London, and that he was going to employ some sort of magical bomb."
"Definitely not good." Dumbledore continued to stroke the feathers on Fawkes' back, a contemplative look on his face. "But I think that it might be possible to avoid the situation."
Harry's eyes widened briefly before returning to their semi-expressionless state. "Only you, Albus." The Headmaster turned his questioning gaze on 'Octavian', and Harry elaborated. "Only you could take the potential destruction of a train full of students calmly." Nothing was said for a minute, Albus neither agreed nor disagreed with Harry's assumption. "So, what are you going to do?"
Albus didn't respond immediately, instead continuing to pet the phoenix. "I think a complex series of illusion charms should be acceptable. We'll postpone the end of the term, I think." Albus moved his hand from the phoenix to his beard, his fingers tangling in its length. "Of course the students won't know. The morning of departure we'll have to come up with an acceptable excuse, and somehow make sure that none of the students owl their parents."
"Keep them under house arrest. Don't let them leave their common rooms, shut down every fireplace, and lock all the windows."
"A little harsh, don't you think?" Albus attempted to extract his fingers from the tangle he had gotten them in. "I was thinking more along the lines of sending all the owls away. After all, we wouldn't want to raise suspicions."
Harry rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "As if all the owls suddenly disappearing wouldn't raise suspicions." He let out a harsh sigh. "I stand by my suggestion. Of course it is up to yourself and the Order to determine the course of action that shall be taken."
Nodding his head, Albus ended the topic of conversation. "If that is all, Octavian?"
Harry didn't move; his hands tightly grasped the arms of his chair. "There is one other thing I wanted to discuss with you, Headmaster."
"You said you have finished the scroll, is there more?"
"No. That was the last of it. Now that I think about it, the writing ended rather abruptly. That could be the reason for the sketchy details."
His fingers finally released, Albus twirled the tip of his beard around his finger. "A possibility." Picking his wand off the desk Albus waved it in a distracted manner. A teapot appeared on the desk along with two teacups and saucers. "I shall think about that later, however. What did you want to discuss with me, Octavian?" Before giving Octavian the chance to answer Albus held out a cup of steaming tea. "Tea?"
"No thank you, Albus." Swallowing Harry pressed on. "I need you to fire me."
Albus blinked a few times before he started to stir his tea. The silence stretched for a few minutes before Albus responded. "I'm sorry Octavian, but I just can't gather up the desire to set you on fire."
Harry knew that Albus' hearing was flawless. The old man just always chose to hear what he wanted to hear. "No, Albus. Fire me."
"Neither do I think it appropriate to set a fire for you. I'm sure that you covered pyro-mechanic charms during your studies." Albus calmly sipped his tea, watching the younger man across from him, blue eyes twinkling.
"Albus, you don't understand. You should fire me. But since you don't want to grasp the concept of that-"
"I can grasp the concept just fine." Albus seemed affronted. "I did extensive studies of various pyro-mechanic charms when I was a student."
Harry groaned. He was doing this on purpose. "Another way of putting it would be," Harry paused to take a breath. "I need you to 'let me go,' or terminate my employment. Something along those lines."
"Let you go where?" Albus smiled at him benevolently. "Do you need a few days off, I'm sure I can arrange for one of the other teachers to cover your classes for a couple of days."
Harry was reaching the end of his patience. "Let's try the last euphemism, Albus. Terminate my employment with Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
"I'm afraid I don't quite follow you."
"What's there to follow?"
"Well, Professor Augustin is building a maze for one of his Care of Magical Creatures classes. The students have to train a puffskein to get through it for their final. We could always follow one."
Harry didn't know if he felt like laughing or crying. Dealing with Albus was always a surefire way to get a headache. "Albus, I know that you understand what I'm asking you to do. Is there a reason you choose to pretend you don't?"
Albus didn't answer him. Just refilled his cup, and summoned a plate of biscuits from somewhere. "Biscuit?"
Harry wanted to scream; he hated dealing with Albus. The frustration that such encounters led to always seemed interminable. "Fine. I would like to tender my resignation, effective immediately." Albus just stared at him with wide eyes, a look of confusion on his face. This was going to be a long conversation. "Do you need a formal letter of resignation?"
"Nonsense, my boy. There is no reason for you to resign. You are a wonderful teacher, the students all love you." A grumble issued from the back of Harry's throat. He wasn't quite sure about *all* the students. Albus ignored him and continued. "Besides which, it's only mid May. Term ends in a little over a month. I'm sure that you can hold out."
"It's not that, Albus. I've done something unforgivable."
"None of the students have complained of you trying to cast the Unforgivables at them during lessons."
Harry closed his eyes briefly before opening them to look at Albus again. "I've been 'carrying on' with a student."
"Carrying a student? I don't see how that is unforgivable. Hagrid told me about it."
Harry shook his head in confusion. He had lost track of the conversation again. "Hagrid?"
"Yes, he said that you carried the first year Ravenclaw, Ms. Tavers I believe, to the hospital wing after she fell and skinned her knee. Quite chivalrous of you."
Harry barely recalled the incident. "Of course."
"There, you see, no reason for you to resign. Rather exemplary behavior, in my opinion."
Harry dragged the conversation back on topic. "That's not what I meant by 'carrying on.'" Before Albus could once again drag the subject to something totally off topic, he continued. "I've engaged in a relationship with a student."
"Of course you have, my boy." Albus folded his hands on the desk and smiled.
"That doesn't bother you?"
"Why would it? All good teachers form relationships with their students." Albus' smile didn't waver for a second.
It took Harry a moment to get back on track. Some of the images that had popped into his head with that phrase had disturbed him. "Not that kind of relationship."
"What kind?"
Knowing the quickest way out of this round-about conversation would be to state the blunt facts, he opened his mouth to do so but was interrupted before he even had the chance to speak.
"Another cup of tea?"
Harry shook his head.
"How about some sandwiches then, I'm starving."
"No, Albus-"
"Pie, then? I always liked the lemon sponge pie the house elves bake. It's delicious. Have you-"
"Do not play any more games with me. Albus, I'm sleeping with a student. I think that I should be let go, but since you refuse to do so I am tendering my resignation." Harry got everything out as quickly as possible. He sighed when he saw Albus wave the house elf he had summoned away. Finally.
"I see. Well, here is what I have to say on the situation. It is not against school rules," Albus paused to raise a hand in order to stop 'Octavian' from interrupting him. "It is not against the rules, not that it is considered appropriate, however. I do not have to fire you over such circumstances, and I choose not to." Albus paused for a breath before continuing. "Now, as for your resignation, it is really quite simple." Harry felt much better at the sound of that. All Albus had to do was tell him what to do. "I will not accept it."
"What?"
"I will not accept it. It is too close to the end of term; I will never be able to find another teacher to fill in. You are a remarkable teacher. You understand your subject better than many of our previous professors. It's like you were raised in Defense Against the Dark Arts." Albus paused for a moment and set some papers in front of him. "I see no problem with you continuing out the year as a professor. If you are uncomfortable with your actions then I suggest that you not repeat them."
Harry propped his elbow on the armrest of his chair and rested his head against his hand. "I can't convince you to change your mind?"
"No. My suggestion is that you go downstairs, pour yourself a drink, and relax for the evening. You've had a trying day."
Harry knew he had been dismissed. He stood to go. There was no way in hell he was going to take Albus' suggestion though, tempting as it sounded.
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Twenty-five minutes later Albus was startled out of his work by a series of loud thuds on his desk. Looking up, he saw bottle after bottle appear and line up. Albus was surprised at the variety of liquors. Finally, a note appeared in front of him.
*//Albus,
To safeguard me against foolhardy behavior, please accept my gift of every bottle of liquor I had in my rooms.
Octavian Tyler//*
Albus shook his head, bemused at the behavior of the younger man. Setting the note aside, he began puzzling over how Octavian Tyler had managed to get through all the wards that surrounded his office, in order to send the bottles to him.
Twenty minutes later, he was still trying to figure it out.
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Author: DragonLight
Summary: The future repeats itself in the past
Pairing: HP/SS
Rating: R or NC-17, depending where you are
Archive: here, my site, and the SnapexHarryML - both web addresses can be found on my aurthor profile page
Author Note: Huge thanks to my beta Isis. Any mistakes you find are mine, and I accept full blame for them.
Thank You: ZetaStar, athenakitty, Emma, Jordan, TigerBlak, Akemi (hello), Lexi, Maharet, shakiya, white owl, Shi-koi (*preens*), SparkySparkles, Quickjewel, Saavik, Wormtail's worst enemy (hello to you, too), Shadow vampire, Kitty, Lyla Snape, Mrs. Aish Luthor
Cat Samwise: Oh they noticed, they all just decided to keep their mouths shut (or in Sirius' case being held back by Draco and Remus). I had that in there originally, but I thought it made the ending look weak. (I cut it out before it went to my beta) Sorry.
Teigra: Of course Severus is difficult. He wouldn't be Severus otherwise. ;o)
Kristine Thorne: Much thanks goes to Isis for that. I'm flattered that I drew such a reaction from you. Hopefully this chapter will make you laugh, instead of cry. =o)
two2blue: stop with the time reference, you'll only give yourself a headache... trust me. Another strong reaction. I think I'm gonna go cry.
me3gogi: sorry no pic, I can't draw. Although if you can, or know someone who can, I'd love a picture of any of the characters (as portrayed in Paradox of course)
Cloudburst2000: I didn't go into Harry's thoughts about the relationship in the last chapter, but I did in this chapter. Severus knew about the extent of the relationship; nothing has happened that Sev hasn't already known would. As for Harry taking responsibility for his actions, let's just say I have no intention of making Harry's life easy.
venus4280: You are the only one that commented on that. I find it a little disturbing too. And I know how it happened. We are getting close to the end of the mission, it's May now and the school term ends in June.
Disclaimer: All characters that are the least bit familiar belong to JKR-same with places and items. Don't recognize it then it's mine.
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Chapter 16: I'm Talking, but You Aren't Listening
*The Future: Toward the end of Harry's Seventh Year*
Severus watched as the door closed behind Harry. He looked around the room and took in everything he saw. The mussed sheets on the bed, the two glasses on the side table by the chairs, the pile of essays he hadn't yet finished grading, a book that Harry had been in the middle of reading, the quill that Harry kept forgetting here as an excuse for him to come back. So many little things that were out of place.
The bed should be made; it was only a little before midnight, and Severus never went to bed that early. There should only be one glass on the side table; Harry shouldn't be drinking during training sessions. The pile of essays should have been graded hours ago. Harry's quill and book shouldn't just be left lying around his chambers.
But Severus didn't want to change any of those things. He liked the way that Harry seemed to belong in his dungeons. And that disturbed him. A man in his late thirties shouldn't like the idea that a seventeen-year-old boy fit into his life.
Severus wasn't fond of the way that Harry had wormed his way into his life. Into his heart. Yet the boy had done so anyway. And worse than that, Severus had allowed him to.
Severus had given into the need to be with someone that understood him; both the darkness that encased his soul, and the light that he stood in. Harry understood, and, even better, never judged him for it.
He wondered if he should put this much emotion into a relationship with someone who was only seventeen. The heart did weird things at that age; it tended to be fickle.
Severus stood up and walked over to his desk. He started to grade the essays that he had put off while Harry had been there. After a time he noticed the quill he was using was Harry's. He closed both his eyes and his fist. The quill snapped in his hand. There was no escaping him.
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Severus entered Albus' office and approached the desk. The Headmaster was nowhere in sight. "Albus?"
"The sitting room, Severus." Severus made his way around the desk to the other room. Albus was sitting at a table that held what Severus referred to as 'the oddest chess set he'd ever seen'. He had heard Minerva call it 'Albus' table of peculiar toys'. Everyone seemed to have their own name for it. Albus never talked about it, but at times one could find him moving one of the eighty odd pieces from board to board.
The 'game' was made up of seven boards, only two of which were flat; all the others were angled in different directions at different heights, held up by permanent levitation spells. There were obviously two sides, black and white, although they weren't always equal. Sometimes the black would have more pieces, at others the white. Some of the pieces appeared to be in between - a gray color. Each piece moved independently from the others, seemingly at Albus' whim. The shapes of the pieces were the oddest Severus had ever seen. They didn't look like chess pieces. Instead they were in different geometric shapes, at least some of them, others were just indescribable. Every single piece was different. The game fascinated Severus. If only he could figure it out.
"Tea?" A single cup of tea was floating toward him. Knowing it was useless to deny the proffered cup, Severus snatched it out of the air.
"I haven't come for tea, Albus. I've come to resign."
Albus looked up from his game. "How is Mr. Potter's training going, Severus?"
"Fine." Severus snapped out the answer. "Did you even hear me, Albus?"
Albus looked at him with deceptively innocent, wide eyes. "Had you said something?"
Severus pressed his lips together in a tight line. Albus was being purposely difficult. Again. He looked on as Albus picked up one of the white pieces and moved it. "I said that I've come to resign."
"Harry is showing the signs?" Albus turned those damned eyes back to him. "Signs of what, Severus?"
"Potter has absolutely nothing to do with this discussion."
"How can we talk about Harry's training if we don't discuss him?" Severus was forced to snap his mouth shut when Albus started to talk. "Sirius has been telling me how well he has been doing in his training. Both Harry and young Mr. Malfoy." Albus paused long enough for a breath, but not long enough for Severus to break in. "Has his magical training with you been going well, Severus?"
"Fine, I believe I already told you that, Albus. It really shows that you don't listen."
"My hearing is perfect. You came up here to talk with me about Harry's training."
Severus almost felt his right cheek twitch. An image of his hands happily strangling Albus popped into his mind. He quickly pushed it aside. "Actually, Albus-"
"There's a problem with Harry's training?" Albus seemed crestfallen. "I was going to send him out over the Easter holidays. He would be invaluable when we attempt to take Voldemort's stronghold."
That comment successfully startled Severus out of his reoccurring daydreams of Albus' untimely demise. "What?" Albus couldn't send Harry into a situation like that. He wasn't-"He's not ready, Albus!"
Albus' eyes flickered toward Severus for a moment before summoning up a plate of biscuits. "Care for one, Severus? The house elves made these especially for me."
Severus jerked his head in terse refusal. "I mean it Albus, Ha- Potter's not ready to be sent out into the field on such a mission."
Severus noticed Albus' eyes narrowing in a measuring way. "Sirius seems to think that *Harry* is ready."
So Albus had noticed his almost slip. Severus curled his lip in disgust, both at himself and the mention of Harry's godfather. "Good-for-nothing, mangy mongrel."
"What was that?" Albus' eyes were sparkling in amusement. "I didn't quite catch what you said, Severus."
"Oh, you heard me. You were the one that said your hearing was flawless." Severus' voice was sharp.
"Perhaps." Albus bit into a biscuit, the crumbs falling into his beard. "I've decided that Harry shall be going on his first *overt* mission." It never ceased to amaze Severus how Albus could talk about something so serious, yet at the same time, look ridiculous. Some tea had dribbled down his chin to mix with the crumbs in his beard. "I'm sure that Sirius and Remus can keep an eye on him."
"Those two canines?" A bitter edge had entered Severus' voice. "They're more likely to get him killed than anything else."
"Severus." Albus' tone was reproachful. "You know that Remus and Sirius would do anything for that boy." Albus brushed off his beard and leaned forward in his seat. "Harry has been progressing magnificently." He waved his hand at the empty chair near him, motioning for Severus to sit. Severus shook his head. "Sit." Severus did so. That tone always made him feel like a schoolboy, a feeling which he hated. "Now, Severus, why don't you tell me how far Harry got in his training last night. I believe you are working on shielding?"
"He was doing much better at mutating his shields then he has been. They switched fluidly, and almost faultlessly." Severus' voice was impassive.
"Good. I'm glad that he's come so far." Albus paused before taking another bite out of one of his biscuits. "Training him hasn't been a problem? He mentioned that you had been a little… short with him last week. When he was having trouble mutating his spells."
Severus didn't answer immediately. He didn't quite know what to say; he had lost control of the conversation the second Albus had opened his mouth. Severus sipped his lukewarm tea while he tried to phrase his response.
"Severus?"
"No, Harry hasn't been too much trouble. It had just been a trying day. What ever you had said to him before our last training session must have stuck. He was able to learn much more quickly."
Albus' eyes had widened during Severus' answer. "I only showed Harry a few tricks." Now Albus' expression could only be termed buoyant and inquisitive. "Harry, Severus?"
Severus smirked. He hadn't been put into Slytherin for nothing. "Yes. Harry is Mr. Potter's first name, isn't it?"
Albus blinked before responding. "I hadn't realized you were on such good terms, with young Harry." Albus smiled at him, his eyes sparkling. "It's about time too."
"Harry and I have come to understand each other." Severus sent his cup to rest on a table next to Albus. Successfully getting Albus off a topic was an achievement. "Now, I came here to talk about my resignation."
"Was the tea not to your liking, Severus?"
"Albus." Severus used his best growl, not that it ever worked on the Headmaster.
"Would you like another cup?" Albus had already started to pour Severus a fresh cup of tea, complete with a slight twist of lemon.
"No, Albus. My resignation." Severus reached into his robes. "I have my letter here." He pulled out an envelope, and attempted to hand it to Albus. He didn't take it.
"Put it away, Severus." Albus' sharp tone changed in the next second to his usual jovial one. "Have some pudding with me?" Severus shook his head. "A lemon drop then?" Again Severus shook his head. Albus sighed. "Why?"
"My integrity will not allow for me to remain here as a teacher."
"Why ever not? Tell it to be quiet."
"Albus, be serious."
"I like being Albus Dumbledore, thank you. I have no intention of ever turning into Sirius Black." Albus grinned at him.
"That joke has been going on since I was a first year, Albus. Don't you think that it is a little old?"
Albus scrunched his nose; his eyes were twinkling with amusement. "I'm a little old. The joke is fairly new. Besides, I like it. I find it humorous."
"My letter, Albus." Severus once more extended the letter. Albus still ignored it. Severus wasn't going to give up. "Why won't you take it?"
"You never did tell me why."
"I find that I cannot in good conscience stay and teach."
"Care to explain?"
"It's all in my letter." Severus held out the letter for the third time.
"I touch that letter, and you'll head straight out the door." Albus had turned serious. "I know you, Severus. There is a reason for this." Albus warmed Severus' tea back up, and handed it over to the younger man. "What is troubling you?"
"Nothing." Severus took the tea, and cradled it in his hands. He had turned his face away from Albus.
"Do you regret taking Harry on as your mentee?"
"More than you will ever know." Severus' whisper wasn't meant for Albus to hear.
"How so?"
"He is an impertinent brat that doesn't know how to respect his betters." Severus spit out each word through clenched teeth.
"Really? I have always found Harry to be tremendously polite."
"Perhaps you have not spent enough time with him then." Severus stood up and moved to the other side of the room. He did not want to talk about this with Albus. He didn't want to talk about it at all.
"I don't think that a couple hours a week training him in advanced spell casting can impose on you too much."
"It imposes on me more than you understand. Harry has this way-" Severus quickly shut his mouth. Albus always knew how to get to him. Just like Harry.
"This way of what? Severus?"
"Nothing, Headmaster. Take the letter."
"No. I will not let you leave this school. You leave, and your life is forfeit." Albus leveled a hard glare at Severus. "The only reason that Voldemort hasn't killed you yet is because of the information you supply him about my 'little' force." Severus looked away; Albus continued. "Besides, I don't think that Harry would like seeing you dead. I think that he has become a trifle fond of you, Severus."
"Too fond."
"I beg your pardon?"
Severus swallowed. It was the only way out. "He's become too fond, Albus. I am not made out of stone."
Albus smirked. "Of course not, Severus. You couldn't move if you were made of stone. Let alone teach."
"You are being purposely obtuse."
"Severus, I understand that the boy's affections must rattle you. Explain to him you are not interested. Push him away, harshly if you feel you must. Harry is resilient. He'll bounce back. Like a muggle rubber duckie."
Severus couldn't understand how a plastic duck would bounce. "Too late for that, I'm afraid." Severus' back was still facing away from the other man.
"I see." Albus' voice sounded impassive to Severus' ears.
"Then you understand why I must resign."
"I understand that you are using me to escape your problems." Severus turned around to face Albus. "And I will not have it." Albus' gaze was shuttered. The old wizard knew how to close off his reactions; he rarely did so, but he knew how. "You got yourself into this situation, you can get yourself out of it." There was a slight pause before he continued. "If you want to, of course."
"Albus-" Severus stopped at Albus' raised hand.
"I suggest you talk this over with Harry. Make sure you do so soon. He has been quite busy preparing to leave."
"Leave?"
"Yes. Harry is moving to Romania at the end of the year. He wants to work with dragons for a time. The two of us have been working arranging everything with Charlie Weasley." Albus paused for a moment to pick up another biscuit. In a moment he looked like his normal eccentric self. "Hasn't he mentioned it?"
"No." Severus was feeling rather blank; the news startled him.
"Well, I'm sure that he was going to tell you."
"Of course."
"Why don't you get back to your work, Severus? I'm sure that you have a ton of parchment to grade." Albus waved his hand dismissively, and turned back to his chess game.
Severus set down his cup and exited the office. Halfway to dungeons he realized how horribly the conversation with Albus went. Not only had Albus not accepted his resignation letter, but he had told Albus the scope of his relationship with Harry, and he had discovered that Harry was moving at the end of the year.
He needed to have a long conversation with the young Mr. Potter.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
By the time that Severus had reached his rooms in the dungeons, he had given out three detentions, removed a total of 75 house points from the other three houses, and even managed to make a group of Slytherins scatter out of his way.
Most pleasing though, was the sound that his door made when he slammed it shut.
Harry was leaving. That thought made Severus move to his cabinet to pull out a bottle of brandy. The thought that at the end of the school year he would be alone had Severus gulping down two glasses of the stuff. Pouring another glass, Severus sat in his chair by the fire.
He had told himself that *children* at that age were fickle. And now the proof of it had been thrown into his face.
Harry hadn't mentioned that he was going anywhere. He was probably going to leave without ever bringing it up. Whenever Severus had asked, Harry had always said he didn't know what he wanted to do after he finished at Hogwarts. That he would probably stay, and work with the Order. After all, that was what everyone expected of him, wasn't it?
Severus had hated it when Harry had said that. Harry was young, he should be able to go out and experience life. See that the world had more to offer than deranged murders that obsessed over his death. And Severus had told him that.
He had told Harry that he shouldn't stay because he felt loyalty to Albus, or Sirius, or to the wizarding world. That he shouldn't stay because of him, either.
In his head it made sense that Harry had decided to do something with his life on his own. It was good that he had. But the thought that Harry hadn't talked to him about it tugged at Severus, had somehow hurt him. After all, Harry maintained that they were in a relationship. And weren't people in relationships supposed to discuss things?
Severus remembered the relationships he had had when he was younger. Not that he had dated much; in fact, he hadn't dated at all during his last year. He was too busy trying to repent for his sins. He still was, for that matter.
His seventh year had been spent learning how to spy on Voldemort. He wouldn't have had to learn that, if it hadn't been for what he had thought was love.
Did Harry think that he was in love with him? He had said as much, but Severus knew not to trust it. He knew because he himself had once thought he was in love with his teacher. And he had been wrong.
Severus hadn't been in love with Octavian Tyler. And he had just recently realized that. It had taken Harry Potter to show him how wrong he was.
His relationship with Harry was far from perfect. They sniped, yelled, and, at times, honestly despised each other. Severus even threatened to kill the brat on occasion. Of course, Harry would only smirk at that.
But Severus would lay down his life for Harry, and Harry would do the same for him. Severus wasn't sure if that was love, but it was something. And whatever it was, it was certainly stronger than what he had had with Octavian Tyler.
Severus now understood his former teacher a little better. Harry had pursued him; similarly he had pursued Professor Tyler. In the end, a relationship, of sorts, had developed. One that had been ended rather harshly, with a sharp dose of reality.
He didn't know how similar his relationship with Harry was to his with Tyler. It was definitely different. There were times when it seemed that Tyler had hated him, wanted him dead. Then there were the times that he had seen… something, in the older man.
Perhaps it had been a misplaced sense of affection that Severus had taken to mean something more. Perhaps it was all just wishful thinking on the part of his younger self. But if anything had been there, it hadn't been for him.
Severus' eyes landed on the door. In a way he wished that it would just open, and someone, anyone, would come and save him from thinking. Well, anyone other than Black… or Albus. He didn't think he could tolerate the rest of the teachers either. He didn't want to deal with Remus constantly asking him what was the matter, or some such nonsense, and Draco would probably get on his nerves with what Draco would call pleasantries but which he regarded as idle chatter. Harry… he could deal with Harry.
Harry would sit in his chair -- Severus didn't know when the chair the brat always sat in had become his -- and not talk. He would either read, or work on assignments, but he wouldn't interfere. He would just be there. The only person that Severus knew who could do that.
But soon Severus wouldn't have that reprieve. Damn the brat. And damn his inconsiderate nature.
Severus reached out to grasp his glass from the side table; his hand brushed a piece of paper that he hadn't noticed before. He picked it up and squinted at Harry's messy scrawl. Wouldn't he ever learn proper penmanship?
*//Sev,
Came by to talk to you. Wanted to tell you that I've finally decided what to do with myself after Hogwarts. It's all set, too. Albus and I have been working on it for weeks. I can't wait to tell you all about it. You were right about getting away from here. I'll stop by later.
Harry
P.S. I saw my quill, by the way. You owe me a new one.//*
Severus sniffed. Perhaps he would have to reevaluate his opinion on Harry's nature. Then again, perhaps not. Harry could have waited for him to return.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
*The Past*
"Five points from Slytherin, Mr. Snape. This work is far below par."
Severus looked up from where he was writing. Professor Tyler was standing over his desk looking down on his work. His impeccably neat, well-thought-out work. There was no way that it was 'under par'. "But, sir-"
"Talking out of turn, Snape? That'll be ten points from Slytherin." Professor Tyler turned and walked over to lean against his desk. Severus just stared at him for a few minutes. Professor Tyler smirked in response. "I see that you aren't paying attention to your test, another five points, Snape."
Severus sucked in a breath and returned to his work. Today wasn't going as well as he had planned. He breathed a sigh of relief when class was dismissed. He placed his paper on the desk, and exited the classroom. On his way he had to pass Professor Tyler who, for some reason, was rather upset with him. "Your tie isn't tied properly, Snape. And it's a little too loose. School regulations demand that I take 15 points for improper uniform." His professor smiled nicely and then retreated to his desk.
Severus made his way out of the classroom. Potter and his friends were hanging out in the hallway.
"I don't know, Snape. Your shirt doesn't seem to be totally tucked in. What did Professor Tyler say about improper uniform, James? Fifteen points, didn't he? As a prefect, it's your duty to remove points." Sirius smirked at Severus.
"Shut the hell up, Black! No one asked for your opinion!" Severus was fuming.
"Mr. Snape. There is no yelling in the hallways, that'll be detention and another five points. Wait for me in my classroom." Professor Tyler had been standing in the doorway watching the confrontation. At least detention didn't sound so bad. Severus headed back over to the classroom. Professor Tyler was addressing the boys behind him. "You're looking well, boys."
"Yes, we're doing quite well, Professor. How are you doing?" Sirius Black was the one to respond for the group.
"I'm doing very well. Thank you for asking. My day has been looking up. Such good manners deserve five points. Don't you think so, Mr. Black?" Severus watched as Professor Tyler *winked* at Black.
Black gave a huge smile in return. "Thank you, Professor." Black even had the nerve to chuckle. He turned and smirked at Severus who was standing by the door to the classroom. Severus glared back and on his way into the room, gave into his infantile impulses and kicked the door.
"Ten points from Slytherin for damaging school property, Snape." Professor Tyler had the gall to whistle as he entered the classroom.
Severus was seething. His eyes were narrowed as Professor Tyler sat at his desk. The only bright spot of hope was that Professor Tyler had agreed with his note and had decided to pursue a relationship. That could explain the points he was losing. A cover-up. And detention…
"Your detention will be served tomorrow night at 9pm. You are to meet Mr. Filch at his office, and he will be assigning you some work to do. Without magic." Any hope that Severus had died a quick death.
"Filch?"
"Filch. Good day, Mr. Snape." The smile that Professor Tyler had on his face was utterly demonic.
Severus forced himself to smile in return. "Thank you, sir. I hope that you have a good day too." Severus quickly left the classroom. Maybe the letter hadn't been such a smart idea. It had always been a fault of his, that innate need to have the last word.
This went on for days. "This homework is late. It was supposed to be in five minutes ago. Ten points, Snape."
"But, professor, class just ended, everyone's not even out of the room yet." Severus sighed.
"Do not talk back, Mr. Snape." Professor Tyler picked up his quill. "Report to Filch at the normal time for your detention."
"Yes, Professor."
…Severus and Lucius were sprinting down the hall, late for a house meeting. Unfortunately, they ran into Professor Tyler.
"No running in the halls. That's five points off of each of you." Professor Tyler looked them up and down. "Your shoes are scuffed, Snape. Improper uniform again. That'll be another fifteen points."
Severus started to answer back, but Lucius pulled on his arm. "Shut up, or it'll be another detention. Your fourth this week," Lucius hissed through clenched teeth. Turning to Professor Tyler he smiled. "Have a nice day, Professor."
A nod was his only reply. Professor Tyler turned around and headed the opposite way down the corridor.
Lucius turned to Severus. "What did you do to royally irritate him?"
"I don't think that you want to know. Ask me again later."
…Severus tapped his fingers against the top of the desk in the library. He was working on his History of Magic essay. Causes of the Goblin Revolution of 15-something-or-other. There were really too many of the things to count. Unfortunately Professor Binns was obsessed with them.
"Mr. Snape, this is a library, not a concert hall. Cease your drumming," Professor Tyler whispered a few feet away. "Oh, I almost forgot. Five points for disturbing the peace." Professor Tyler made a selection off one of the shelves and headed toward the exit.
…Snape paused in the doorway. A few feet down the corridor were Professor Tyler and Professor McGonagall, talking about him.
"Now, Octavian, don't take me wrong. I want Gryffindor to win the House Cup, but aren't you being a little hard on Severus Snape?"
One eyebrow rose in a questioning manner. "Do you think so, Minerva? I just don't know."
"The boy has lost close to a hundred points in the last 5 days. And detention four times!"
"Ah, yes." Professor Tyler sighed. "Mr. Filch was just telling me that the trophies and cases have never been shinier." He smiled at Professor McGonagall.
"Octavian, I've never had a problem with Severus. He's one of the brightest, most well behaved boys in his year."
"But he's conceited. Everyone needs to be taken down a notch now and again."
"True, he is a little full of himself, but everyone has his faults." Professor McGonagall shook her head. "I don't think that we should punish students for just being."
"Don't worry, I'm not." Professor Tyler's voice was clipped.
"Those reasons that you are coming up with are downright petty, Tyler." Professor McGonagall's voice was harsh.
"Are they really? What about this one, then? Snape, stop hiding in that doorway, you've heard enough of this conversation. Or didn't your parents teach you that it was impolite to eavesdrop?"
Professor McGonagall whipped around and spotted him. She held out a hand to stop Professor Tyler's rant. She sighed before speaking. "Ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Snape. I'm afraid that Professor Tyler is righ. One should not eavesdrop on teachers' conversation." She shrugged her shoulders and moved off.
After she had rounded the corner, Professor Tyler approached him. "Personally, I think that you got off too lightly. For listening in on *my* conversation, you get a detention. Meet Filch at nine."
"Yes, Professor." Severus backed through the doorway the way he came. His life was hell, and Professor Tyler was making sure it stayed that way.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Harry pushed the quill and parchment away from him. Leaning back in his chair, he tilted his head up to look at the ceiling. He was done. Finally, after nine months of translating written parseltongue, he was done. The sad part was that over half of the scroll had been self-aggrandizing crap. Wading his way through it had been tedious, highly annoying, and for the most part useless.
Useless, because working out the details of each attack was like searching for a specific wand in Ollivander's. It could be done, but unless you were Ollivander, it could take days, months, maybe years. He had barely uncovered the plot against the Weasleys in time. That had been when he just started translating the scroll, however. Within the scroll, Harry had uncovered, attacks against aurors, other Ministry officials, Order members, and a lot of others. But just because he had learned about the attacks didn't mean that he was always able to stop them.
Out of all the attacks that he had translated, only a handful struck him personally. The first was the attack against the Weasleys. The thought that Voldemort had tried to kill them all upset him. The twins, Ron and Ginny - none of them had even been born yet. Harry had almost lost his adopted family before ever getting the chance to know them.
The second had been his grandfather. He had never met his grandfather, but a part of him had always thought that maybe his grandfather had known him. But that wasn't the case; they had never known each other. The irony of the whole situation had hit him hard. His grandfather, his namesake, had been killed because he didn't trust the translation of his grandson. Granted, Harold Potter hadn't known that the man who was translating the scroll was in reality his grandson. A question nagged at the back of Harry's mind: would it have made a difference if Harold had known? Or was he just distressed because he was a Parselmouth, an ability associated with the Dark? To this day Harry couldn't speak parseltongue in front of Ron and most of the Weasleys with out them overreacting to it. Even more irony was to be found in the fact that his father had named him after his grandfather, without ever knowing that his son would go back in time, and end up being responsible for his namesake's death.
Harry shifted in his seat. Thinking of these two attacks, one successful and one not, made him think of what he had just translated. The end of the scroll had been the details of another attack, a large scale one. Mass slaughter of a group of children, so that Voldemort could demoralize the Wizarding community. His plan was to clearly demolish the idea that parents could send their children to school, and know that nothing bad was going to happen to them. Voldemort was going to destroy the Hogwarts Express while every child that attended the school was onboard. And for the life of him, Harry didn't know how it was going to be stopped. He would likely never know, unless he asked Albus when he went back to the future. He wasn't welcome to the strategy meetings of this Order.
What if he hadn't translated it in time? For all Harry knew, he could go back and find that everything was different. If he didn't get the information to Albus, then Severus, and his father, Sirius, Remus, all the other children he had gotten to know, would have died on the train. He himself would never be born. Voldemort would still be in power. It was a heavy weight for him to carry.
If he could, he'd rush up to talk to Albus right at that moment. But that was useless. It was approximately four in the morning. At least he thought that it was four in the morning. Harry looked around the windowless room. There was nothing on the walls, and the furniture only consisted of his and one other chair, and the table.
Oh well, thought Harry, there would still be time to contact Albus in the morning. It was only mid May, the train wouldn't leave until mid June. There was a month left to figure things out.
Which also meant there was only a month left to figure out what was going on in his life. His life that seemed to be falling apart around him.
The last time that *his* Severus had come to visit came to mind. He had wanted to talk to Severus, explain that it had all been a mistake. That he didn't mean to sleep with him. Well, the younger him. God, he was so confused. It was almost as if they were two different people, but at the same time, Harry could see the qualities that assured him both Severuses were actually one and the same.
Harry knew he was different from the way he had been at sixteen and seventeen. He had grown up, and subconsciously, he knew that Severus must have done so also. But to actually *see* Severus when he was young and vulnerable, when he was *weak*, had just thrown him.
Severus had strength of character that Harry had always noticed, even when he was being yelled at when he was thirteen years old. As he got older, Harry began to admire that quality in his professor. That admiration, along with being paired up with Severus, had led to respect and ultimately, love.
When faced with the young Severus Snape, Harry couldn't help but see someone young and foolish with childish ideals, who would eventually grow up into someone older, and infinitely wiser. But he also had qualities that attracted Harry to this young version of his lover. His vulnerability was just one.
Severus Snape, at sixteen years of age, was someone that Harry could inherently relate to. He had insecurities, he wasn't sure of everything he was doing. And at times, Harry thought he could see a little foolhardiness in him. All things that he would never associate with Severus as an adult.
And that was something that Harry had to admit to himself that he wanted, even if only temporarily. In this relationship he was the strong one. The partner that was sure of himself. He was the adult. It was a heady feeling. To be the one that is looked up to.
His relationship with Severus had never been that way. At first he had looked up to his lover. Severus was older than him, had experienced more than he had. That was one of the reasons that Harry had left after he finished Hogwarts. He needed to experience life. Life without an insane megalomaniac following him around trying to kill him.
When he had come back, his relationship with Severus had changed. After a year he was no longer dependent on his lover. He had learned to stand on his own two feet. That didn't mean their relationship was simple and easy to manage. The fact that Harry had left both weakened yet strengthened their relationship.
It had been weakened, because Harry had left. They didn't see each other for the entire year. Severus had sent him letters, but they were, more often then not, emotionally detached. Harry knew that Severus was letting him go, so that he could grow. And he had grown. That year was also the year that his relationship with Draco had developed into a friendship; after all, they couldn't kill each other in letters. It had started out with Albus telling Draco that it would be his responsibility to inform Harry of what was going on in the Order. It had grown from there.
Harry remembered one letter from Severus better than all the others. It had been about Draco. Harry had been living with Charlie, who noticed the amount of letters he received from Draco. Charlie had written home about Draco and Harry, thinking that they were romantically involved. Somehow, Severus had found out about it -- probably from Sirius or Remus, who hadn't known about their relationship at the time -- and had written Harry a nice note telling him that he was free to pursue any relationship that he wanted to. That he wouldn't get in the way of Harry's happiness. Harry had left Romania a month and a half early because of that.
And that showed them how much their relationship had strengthened. Harry came back, and the first thing he did was *not* run to tell Severus how wrong he was. He invited Draco to dinner, instead. And at the end of the night, when he showed up outside Severus' door, he said, "Sorry, but there just isn't anything that I can possibly see in a relationship with Draco. What we have is special, Severus."
In the end, Harry had become someone whose mind wasn't easily changed. In that he had ceased being a child, and Severus had ceased to treat him as such. They had become equals, and could build a relationship on that. Neither stronger, nor weaker, than the other.
It was a relationship that Harry cherished. No matter how hard he looked, he wouldn't be able to find another like it. It fulfilled him in a way that the rest of his life couldn't. With Severus, he wasn't 'The-Boy-Who-Lived', or a commanding officer in the Auror Division of the Ministry, or a member of the Order of the Phoenix, or James' son, or anything else that people could label him as. He was just Harry James Potter.
And Severus was Severus, no matter what time Harry was in. No matter how much Severus got on his nerves, Harry loved him. And now, Harry missed him. Missed him so much, in fact, that he was looking for *his* Severus in a sixteen year old. And, to a point, finding his lover there. Not the mature older, man that Harry always associated Severus with being, but the essence of *his* Severus was there.
Harry had reached for that, along with all the other things that attracted him to the young Severus Snape, when offered. Knowing it was wrong, but at the same time not caring.
Thinking about it, Harry saw everything. He knew what he was doing was, in a sense, wrong. He knew why he was doing it. But none of this meant that, when faced with *his* Severus, he would be off the hook. When he went back to his own time, he would have a lot of explaining to do. To someone that was hurt, and angry as hell at him.
And at that moment, Harry wanted nothing more than to go back to his Severus. What the young Severus had was not what Harry needed. What Harry needed was *his* Severus. The equality, understanding, and love that Harry could only find with him.
Harry swore that he would leave Hogwarts the first opportunity he could get. Now that his obligation to the Order was done, Harry wanted out. And he knew just how to go about it.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Harry muttered the password and waited until the gargoyle moved aside. As he approached the door he thought of everything he planned to say to the Headmaster. Luckily, he could do it all with a clear conscience. Well, almost clear conscience. Just as he was about to knock, Albus' voice drifted through the door. "Come in, Octavian."
Pushing open the door, Harry made his way into the office. It was surprisingly similar to the office that Dumbledore kept in the future. Only a few things were different. "Headmaster?"
"I'll be right there, just have a seat, my boy." Harry sat down in one of the seats across from Dumbledore's large desk. Turning his head he noticed that Fawkes was preening his feathers. He had always liked Dumbledore's phoenix. The Fawkes of this time period ignored him, however. Albus had told him not to worry about it too much.
Albus entered his office from the back room and sat down at the desk. He shuffled around a bunch of his papers before turning to Harry. Picking up a small bowl, he held it out. "Lemon drop?"
Harry almost laughed. Albus hadn't offered him a lemon drop since he had threatened to turn his skin purple for a week if he did. That had been in the future though. This Albus didn't know the hazards of offering Harry lemon drops. "No, thank you, Albus. I'm not particularly fond of lemon drops."
"Biscuits and tea then?"
"No, I'm all right. I'm here to discuss the scroll. I've finished translating it."
"That's nice, my boy." Harry watched as Albus signaled for Fawkes to come over to him. The phoenix spread it's wings and landed on the armrest of Albus' chair.
"I assume that you would like to know what it says."
"All in good time. I'm sure that there is no great rush." Albus slowly petted the phoenix and looked at him with twinkling eyes. "How have you been?"
"Fine, Albus. I think that you should hear this."
"I'm sure. You'll tell me in a minute." Albus scratched lightly under Fawkes' beak, and the phoenix seemed to purr in response. "How have your classes been going so far?"
"Fine. Albus, I think that you should hear this." Harry continued before he could be interrupted. "Voldemort is plotting to blow up the train."
"That's nice, Octavian…" Albus trailed off. "Blow up the train? What train?"
"The Hogwarts Express."
"And when was he planning on doing this?"
Harry wanted to scream, when did he *think* that Voldemort would want to blow up the train? His annoyance brought out his sarcastic streak. "When all the students are on it, of course."
"I don't quite follow you, Octavian."
"On the way back to King's Cross on the last day of the term."
"That isn't very good news. Why would he do that? I know that he has been looking into recruiting students from the school. He wouldn't want to blow them up, now would he?"
"I don't think that Voldemort particularly cares one way or the other, Albus. In the scroll he says that the loss of a few potential followers would be worth the destruction of a generation. This will have a horribly crippling effect on the Wizarding world."
"Oh dear. Did he say how he was going to go about it?"
"No, it was rather vague. The only real details were that it would be destroyed somewhere between here and London, and that he was going to employ some sort of magical bomb."
"Definitely not good." Dumbledore continued to stroke the feathers on Fawkes' back, a contemplative look on his face. "But I think that it might be possible to avoid the situation."
Harry's eyes widened briefly before returning to their semi-expressionless state. "Only you, Albus." The Headmaster turned his questioning gaze on 'Octavian', and Harry elaborated. "Only you could take the potential destruction of a train full of students calmly." Nothing was said for a minute, Albus neither agreed nor disagreed with Harry's assumption. "So, what are you going to do?"
Albus didn't respond immediately, instead continuing to pet the phoenix. "I think a complex series of illusion charms should be acceptable. We'll postpone the end of the term, I think." Albus moved his hand from the phoenix to his beard, his fingers tangling in its length. "Of course the students won't know. The morning of departure we'll have to come up with an acceptable excuse, and somehow make sure that none of the students owl their parents."
"Keep them under house arrest. Don't let them leave their common rooms, shut down every fireplace, and lock all the windows."
"A little harsh, don't you think?" Albus attempted to extract his fingers from the tangle he had gotten them in. "I was thinking more along the lines of sending all the owls away. After all, we wouldn't want to raise suspicions."
Harry rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "As if all the owls suddenly disappearing wouldn't raise suspicions." He let out a harsh sigh. "I stand by my suggestion. Of course it is up to yourself and the Order to determine the course of action that shall be taken."
Nodding his head, Albus ended the topic of conversation. "If that is all, Octavian?"
Harry didn't move; his hands tightly grasped the arms of his chair. "There is one other thing I wanted to discuss with you, Headmaster."
"You said you have finished the scroll, is there more?"
"No. That was the last of it. Now that I think about it, the writing ended rather abruptly. That could be the reason for the sketchy details."
His fingers finally released, Albus twirled the tip of his beard around his finger. "A possibility." Picking his wand off the desk Albus waved it in a distracted manner. A teapot appeared on the desk along with two teacups and saucers. "I shall think about that later, however. What did you want to discuss with me, Octavian?" Before giving Octavian the chance to answer Albus held out a cup of steaming tea. "Tea?"
"No thank you, Albus." Swallowing Harry pressed on. "I need you to fire me."
Albus blinked a few times before he started to stir his tea. The silence stretched for a few minutes before Albus responded. "I'm sorry Octavian, but I just can't gather up the desire to set you on fire."
Harry knew that Albus' hearing was flawless. The old man just always chose to hear what he wanted to hear. "No, Albus. Fire me."
"Neither do I think it appropriate to set a fire for you. I'm sure that you covered pyro-mechanic charms during your studies." Albus calmly sipped his tea, watching the younger man across from him, blue eyes twinkling.
"Albus, you don't understand. You should fire me. But since you don't want to grasp the concept of that-"
"I can grasp the concept just fine." Albus seemed affronted. "I did extensive studies of various pyro-mechanic charms when I was a student."
Harry groaned. He was doing this on purpose. "Another way of putting it would be," Harry paused to take a breath. "I need you to 'let me go,' or terminate my employment. Something along those lines."
"Let you go where?" Albus smiled at him benevolently. "Do you need a few days off, I'm sure I can arrange for one of the other teachers to cover your classes for a couple of days."
Harry was reaching the end of his patience. "Let's try the last euphemism, Albus. Terminate my employment with Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
"I'm afraid I don't quite follow you."
"What's there to follow?"
"Well, Professor Augustin is building a maze for one of his Care of Magical Creatures classes. The students have to train a puffskein to get through it for their final. We could always follow one."
Harry didn't know if he felt like laughing or crying. Dealing with Albus was always a surefire way to get a headache. "Albus, I know that you understand what I'm asking you to do. Is there a reason you choose to pretend you don't?"
Albus didn't answer him. Just refilled his cup, and summoned a plate of biscuits from somewhere. "Biscuit?"
Harry wanted to scream; he hated dealing with Albus. The frustration that such encounters led to always seemed interminable. "Fine. I would like to tender my resignation, effective immediately." Albus just stared at him with wide eyes, a look of confusion on his face. This was going to be a long conversation. "Do you need a formal letter of resignation?"
"Nonsense, my boy. There is no reason for you to resign. You are a wonderful teacher, the students all love you." A grumble issued from the back of Harry's throat. He wasn't quite sure about *all* the students. Albus ignored him and continued. "Besides which, it's only mid May. Term ends in a little over a month. I'm sure that you can hold out."
"It's not that, Albus. I've done something unforgivable."
"None of the students have complained of you trying to cast the Unforgivables at them during lessons."
Harry closed his eyes briefly before opening them to look at Albus again. "I've been 'carrying on' with a student."
"Carrying a student? I don't see how that is unforgivable. Hagrid told me about it."
Harry shook his head in confusion. He had lost track of the conversation again. "Hagrid?"
"Yes, he said that you carried the first year Ravenclaw, Ms. Tavers I believe, to the hospital wing after she fell and skinned her knee. Quite chivalrous of you."
Harry barely recalled the incident. "Of course."
"There, you see, no reason for you to resign. Rather exemplary behavior, in my opinion."
Harry dragged the conversation back on topic. "That's not what I meant by 'carrying on.'" Before Albus could once again drag the subject to something totally off topic, he continued. "I've engaged in a relationship with a student."
"Of course you have, my boy." Albus folded his hands on the desk and smiled.
"That doesn't bother you?"
"Why would it? All good teachers form relationships with their students." Albus' smile didn't waver for a second.
It took Harry a moment to get back on track. Some of the images that had popped into his head with that phrase had disturbed him. "Not that kind of relationship."
"What kind?"
Knowing the quickest way out of this round-about conversation would be to state the blunt facts, he opened his mouth to do so but was interrupted before he even had the chance to speak.
"Another cup of tea?"
Harry shook his head.
"How about some sandwiches then, I'm starving."
"No, Albus-"
"Pie, then? I always liked the lemon sponge pie the house elves bake. It's delicious. Have you-"
"Do not play any more games with me. Albus, I'm sleeping with a student. I think that I should be let go, but since you refuse to do so I am tendering my resignation." Harry got everything out as quickly as possible. He sighed when he saw Albus wave the house elf he had summoned away. Finally.
"I see. Well, here is what I have to say on the situation. It is not against school rules," Albus paused to raise a hand in order to stop 'Octavian' from interrupting him. "It is not against the rules, not that it is considered appropriate, however. I do not have to fire you over such circumstances, and I choose not to." Albus paused for a breath before continuing. "Now, as for your resignation, it is really quite simple." Harry felt much better at the sound of that. All Albus had to do was tell him what to do. "I will not accept it."
"What?"
"I will not accept it. It is too close to the end of term; I will never be able to find another teacher to fill in. You are a remarkable teacher. You understand your subject better than many of our previous professors. It's like you were raised in Defense Against the Dark Arts." Albus paused for a moment and set some papers in front of him. "I see no problem with you continuing out the year as a professor. If you are uncomfortable with your actions then I suggest that you not repeat them."
Harry propped his elbow on the armrest of his chair and rested his head against his hand. "I can't convince you to change your mind?"
"No. My suggestion is that you go downstairs, pour yourself a drink, and relax for the evening. You've had a trying day."
Harry knew he had been dismissed. He stood to go. There was no way in hell he was going to take Albus' suggestion though, tempting as it sounded.
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Twenty-five minutes later Albus was startled out of his work by a series of loud thuds on his desk. Looking up, he saw bottle after bottle appear and line up. Albus was surprised at the variety of liquors. Finally, a note appeared in front of him.
*//Albus,
To safeguard me against foolhardy behavior, please accept my gift of every bottle of liquor I had in my rooms.
Octavian Tyler//*
Albus shook his head, bemused at the behavior of the younger man. Setting the note aside, he began puzzling over how Octavian Tyler had managed to get through all the wards that surrounded his office, in order to send the bottles to him.
Twenty minutes later, he was still trying to figure it out.
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