Dear Journal~

Writing yet again, I feel pain inside of me. No.. it isn't heartburn… No… it isn't a stomach ache… It is a heartache..

Heartaches have always been a killer to me. I have had my heartbroken more times than I could remember. Girls would think I was "hot" and then go out with me. Then they'd see me make fun of Potty and Weasel and the Mudblood.. Then they'd let me go..

Oh the Mudblood.. How I long to run my fingers through her long bushy hair. How I dream to run my hands down her nice firm thighs. I wish upon every star I see to have Hermione Granger as my baby.. My love… My girl

Everyone would know her as "Malfoy's Girlfriend" or "Draco's Chick". She would belong to me… She would be under my arm when she was scared… Attached to me when there was a school dance… Smiling at me when she was happy… Having my shoulder to cry on when she was sad… But most of all she would have me… Plain old Draco Malfoy…

Something really sucks though.. Granger… I mean Hermione, is going out with the Weasel. What does Hermione see in the Weasel? With his red hair, and his poorness… No wonder she's goin out with him… She feels sorry for him… Well, I feel sorry for Hermione because she has to put up with that Weasel…

If only Potter had listened to me on that first day of Hogwarts in our first year… "You'll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't wanna go around making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." If Potter had become friends with me, then Hermione would be my friend too.. Then we could go further…

I guess I can only have Hermione in my dreams… I mean I do have a girlfriend-- Shin. Shin is so great.. She cares about me and loves me to death. I think she's over obsessive with me. I mean she wrote I love DM all over her book covers, binders, and even herself. She got a tattoo of my name on her back and everything. I know she cares about me, but she cares too much.

I don't want to put Shin through pain. Yes I do love her. But I don't love her as much as she loves me. I can't break her heart. Yeah.. She is in my house and would probably come into the boys' Dormitory in the middle of the night and kill my sorry little ass… I'd better not mess with her heart. I have to stop playing games. I am a dedicated lover and I always will be.

I love Shin until the world comes to an end…. 3

As much as I love Shin… I will love Hermione too..

Sometimes I confuse myself…

More tomorrow-- or whenever I get time to write again….

~Draco