AUTHOR'S NOTES: Part Four! Now I'm beginning to think I should become a world famous author... LOL *-* It's almost over so you might as well keep reading. And make sure you read the first through third parts or this makes no sense {Am I gonna have to repeat this again?}! And don't worry. There's only one more part left.. So don't cry!

SUMMARY: Sometimes our hearts tell us one thing, and our heads another. Which one will we follow?

~*~

Abby walked up the stairs to the church. This was it. Maggie was so proud. She had even helped Abby pick out her dress, and did her hair this morning. She was finally playing mother the right way. Erik was better, too. They both stayed on their meds. From the outside, it looked like a happy family. No one would ever know how much pain and suffering she had gone through with them. Erik was waiting to walk her down the aisle. He smiled at her. She felt like turning around and running away. Where? She didn't know. But somehow, she knew, she would end up in Seattle, at Carter's door. As Erik grabbed Abby's hand, Maggie put Annette down, and set her on her way with the flowers. Abby took a deep breath. This was it. She started down the aisle. Leaving everything she had wished she could have done behind.

~*~

When Susan and Carter had finally managed to get to the church, the ceremony had already started. They slipped in quietly in the back, and tried to remain unnoticed. Especially Carter. He didn't want anyone to see him, first off, in Chicago, at Abby's wedding. Second, he didn't want them to see him crying. After a while, he finally managed to look up. She looked beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning. There were no words to describe her. She, most plainly, took his breath away. After that, every moment that the ceremony dragged on, was like a knife, stabbing him over and over. Every time, it found a new place to attack. It was unbearable. He couldn't breathe. It eased a bit as Susan grabbed his hand and held it tight. Then came the moment he had waited for. He could, maybe, get her back. The words rang in his head..."If anyone is against the marriage of Abigail Lockhart and Luka Kovac, speak now, or forever hold your peace." He opened his mouth...

~*~

Abby prayed someone would say something. Anything. Anyone. But the church remained silent. Still as the dark of night. She felt like she was slowly dying. Being suffocated. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. She was like a puppet on a string. Yet somehow, "I do..." came out of her mouth. That was it. The end of her torture.

~*~

He couldn't understand why he hadn't said anything. Why he stood there quietly, while his soul was screaming. Why he let Abby marry Luka. He looked at her again. On the most joyous day of her life, she still had the pouty face on. Eyes, full of emptiness, sadness, and loneliness. He couldn't see her. He couldn't let her see him. He let go of Susan's hand as he got up and walked out of the church.

~*~

As Abby turned around, Luka on her right hand, she noticed a lone, solitary figure stand up and walk out. Silently. Then it hit her. It was John. She left go of Luka, and ran down the aisle, then the stairs, trying not to fall.

"John! John, wait!"

She didn't know what she was going to say. What he was going to do. She looked up at him. His eyes glowed once again. But they were also full of tears. She tried to wipe them away, but he moved, out of her reach.

"Abby, congratulations. I hope you're very happy with Luka. Like I said before, I don't want to wish bad things for you and Luka. I wish you only the best."

Abby couldn't speak. She was dumbstruck. She had wished he had come back. Wished that he still loved her. Wished he would forgive her. She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Goodbye Abigail Lockhart. I'll always love you."

With that, she watched him turn his back, and walk away. He was gone. Forever.