My Apologies for this taking so long to get out!
As always a big round of thanks to Silmarien for beta reading this chapter, and if you have not read her stories GO NOW! It is a very good read and worth your time!
I hope you enjoy the new problems that are darling Celede gets herself into!
Ravyn
Disclaimer: This is not a Mary Sue. I do not own any of the original LOTR characters! Anything else is mine!
Chapter Three: Hobbits, Elves and Dwarfs Oh My!
Have you ever been shot?
Let me put it this way, if you want to know what its like to have your body feel like it its being pulled apart from the inside out and have a searing, burning hole in your body, well, then it's the hobby for you.
If not, don't get shot.
If someone had explained to me what it felt like before I joined the Border Guard, I would have never joined. I would be at home knitting little booties for all my friends who are going to have kids.
Okay maybe not knitting.
But it was all Haldir's fault that I am shot. It started out as a normal hunt for orc, if you can call any orc hunt normal, and we got ambushed. You would think that with Galadriel helping us we would never be ambushed. Sorry to burst your proverbial bubble.
We got ambushed. I got shot. I HATE Haldir right now, and when I manage to stand up, I am going to ram his butt out of a tree. But right now I have an arrow stuck in my thigh. It is probably poisoned and I am slowly dying, which would account for the massive amounts of pain I am in. I feel like I should maybe stand up and throw a picnic.
Haldir needs to learn how to dodge! I mean, any idiot can dodge an arrow. By the Valar, I would have thought that it would be a must take course, like dodging one on one or something. But no. So I, being the next Luthien, pushed him out of the way. The arrow lodged into my leg with the force of...well an arrow.
I am being very creative. This time out loud. I think I may have shocked Haldir, but the elf must have known I learned it from him. But maybe it's the fact that I am expressing my creative touch toward HIM that is so shocking.
"Get this thing out of my leg!" I, of course, say this in a tone that could shatter every Elf's hearing in a four hundred-foot range. Excuse me, but I have an arrow in my leg.
Haldir has dropped next to me and yanks me into his arms. To be polite we shall only say that I have practiced my Ringwraith impression in his ear. Of course, that could be an understatement. It's just that I don't do well with pain or sudden jarring movements. If you do both at the same time, well, I tend to shriek a little.
But that impersonation was NOTHING to what I did while he was getting me into a fleet. I heard later that the healers had to treat his ears so he wouldn't have any lasting damage, and I can't say I felt too bad for anything I may have done.
Personally, I don't think I screamed loud enough at him, he could still hear.
Anyway, there I was in the fleet, starring at a long, black arrow, and I noticed that the skin around the wound had turned an oozing black. I throw my head back and begin creatively expressing my amusement at the situation I found myself in.
I think I made someone's ears bleed.
Haldir gave me a rather impressive glare and I quieted. Okay, so I reduced my creative flow to mere mumbling. But I am more than positive my eyes were glowing with outrage (I have always heard this expression and wondered if it looked as impressive as it sounded) as I sat there.
That was until I heard something crawling up the ladder. I calmly looked around for a weapon. Okay, so I panicked and desperately reached for the arrows that were on the bed.
Lets just say it hurt to move and leave it at that okay?
We have been over the fact that I am horrible at shooting standing objects. Can you imagine what I am like if the target is moving? I was SO going to die an early death.
I was never going to break an Elf's nose after all. My life was SO going to end badly.
Aiming along the shaft of the arrow (I think I remember an instructor mentioning that once), I waited. Sure enough, an Orc had climbed up the tree. I mean HONESTLY, doesn't anybody watch for these things? What if I was not armed? (Not that having a bow and arrow counts) and it ate me? Are the elves really trying to get rid of me? Me and my Luthien smile?
I did, however, manage to shoot the orc. It dropped like a basket of apples...well okay, so I put a little force into my basket of apples when I 'accidentally' drop them. I might die so I have decided to confess, mentally of course. There is always the chance I can get out of this mess.
Haldir came in some time later (after a great flash of light that said Galadriel was unhappy and had decided to help) and took one look at the orc and froze. He had left to make sure that no one else had been wounded. Lucky me, I was not the only one.
"Yes I am alive! Thank you for asking." You know he was asking for my sarcasm, he had been standing there for thirty seconds and had yet to look at me.
"You shot it." His tone was practically loaded with surprise.
Do you see me laughing?
"Don't test this lucky streak I am on and make me shot you too! The fact that this arrow is poisoned is no need to be alarmed is it?" I was pretty sure I was handling this well. So far I had not gotten too vocally creative.
He gave me another dry look and I began to wonder what everyone's problem was. Hello, I was shot. Fix it! Maybe I need to make a sign?
Apparently, they were just waiting for the Orcs to be finished off before they took me back to the city. I won't go into detail about the trip back. I wasn't the only injured elf (but I was the only one who got shot in the upper thigh) and the ride back was very jarring.
I feel not a single ounce of shame that I passed out. I mean honestly, who stays awake through mass amounts of pain and orc poison? I have no idea how long I was out, but they did remove the arrow and treat it during that time.
Has anyone ever told you how much it hurts to remove the poison? I, having heard the horror stories, am happy to say that I don' t have recollection of it. But if the after effects are anything like how I woke up, I am giving up Luthien. I want to be Nimrodel-they say that drowning is very peaceful. Even if it is in a raging river.
Have you any idea how embarrassing it is to move around on one leg? Haldir was kind enough to make me a set of make shift crutches, after I ranted and raved from my bed for two days. Apparently my leg just didn't want to heal, so I could not go outside.
Like I said earlier, it's embarrassing. Hopping around I mean. I could deal with the crutches if I didn't get the oddest looks. Was it really that obvious that I had escaped from the halls of healing? Well okay, maybe my mumbled cursing helped that idea along, and the elves that I hid from every now and then cursing as they tried to find me.
But a She-elf does what a She-elf has to do!
Unfortunately for me, the past few days I had been laid up I had missed a few important facts.
The first and most important was that the Fellowship of the Ring (such a lovely title for a group of people; makes me think of a group of women craving a wedding ring) had arrived in Lorien.
The second most important fact was that Legolas was there. He was supposed to be standing in for all the Elves of Middle Earth (apparently my vote did not count much, as Elrond did not ask ME of what I thought about that.)
Of course, I am hobbling along at the best pace I can manage (I moved like a drunk hobbit) and I happened to not have quite the grasp on my surroundings that I was supposed to.
Of course, I blame it on the fact that the Healers were chasing me with all intentions of locking me up again, and honestly, do you know how hard it is to jail break TWICE?
So it was not entirely MY fault I tripped over a hobbit. I mean honestly, their legs are not all that long. How was it my luck to run into one? Let's just go ahead and ignore that fact and try to block out the fact that I was creatively describing Haldir again. While I was attempting to spit out the dirt I had eaten when I crashed into the ground. I display such an elven grace I wonder why they had not just gone ahead and put me out of my misery.
I heard faint laughter.
There is only one being that could laugh at me in that way.
I stilled from my sprawled position and propped my head up on my hands. Looking around, I noticed two shocked looking men whom apparently had never heard a woman curse (of it could have been the fact that an elf had taken a nose dive) before from the looks on their faces. There was a dwarf (finally got to see what I was compared to all my life and I must say it didn't let me down; all that hair!) who looked like he had been given an early heart attack, four concerned looked hobbits, and one laughing Prince of Mirkwood.
"Apparently you missed the etiquette lessons where you where taught never to laugh at a lady when she has fallen down, Prince of Mirkwood," I said before my brain had caught up with my mouth.
I really need to invest in some sort of pause button.
His lips twitched and he opened his mouth to respond but the dwarf beat him to it. " I am sure he never learned any etiquette at all. He is an elf."
This, of course, annoyed me. But instead of doing anything besides glaring, I was good and I promise I came up with a brilliant plan. "No more than dwarves, since you have not offered to help me either."
My plan was, of course, sarcasm.
Turning toward the men, since they seemed to be the only help I could get without begging, I requested help. Politely. In other words, I demanded that one of them help me since the rest seemed to be too ill mannered.
Someone named Strider assisted me.
That was, of course, when the Healers came rushing over. I latched onto Strider's arm with the strength of a cave troll and argued with them. They yelled. I yelled. I won simply because I yell louder.
It was silent in the little glade once I sat down. Raising my eyes at everyone who was starring at me, I could only blink. "What?"
One of the Hobbits, bless his little heart, asked me what was wrong. I, of course, was so inclined to respond.
"I was shot in the leg. It's all Haldir's fault, the elf can't dodge an arrow if it was shot straight at him."
This, of course, caused mass blinking. Only Legolas seemed to be undisturbed by my speech. His eyes slide to my leg; it was hidden in the folds of my skirt. That is another point. They thought a skirt was going to keep me from escaping. Well, ha on them! Although, I must say that pants are comfort clothes and I do need to get my hands on a pair.
"What do Haldir's dodging skills have anything to do with you getting shot?" The man who I later learned was Boromir questioned. It was my turn to blink at him.
"He not see. I push out of way. Arrow hits leg?" I wonder if maybe I should spell it out. Men seemed to struggle with the easiest concepts.
Legolas smiled in amusement at the man named Strider and I was wondering if he was plotting something. " Strider, this is Celede."
The man gave me another thorough looking over. I narrowed my eyes at him. He gave a laugh of humor. "So your the one who taught the EvenStar how to through a right hook."
My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. Okay, so maybe my fame was widespread but what did a mere mortal know about the EvenStar? I think I expressed myself in a proper attitude because he was red by the time I was finished.
"This is Estel." Legolas said. In Sindarian, I might add. I blinked at him in question. "Elrond's foster son."
My grin became positively wicked. "So she punched you did she?"
He glared at me. "Is there a reason you crashed into our quiet little campsite?"
I shrugged. " I was practicing my future Nimrodel impression. I figured I would start out small and work my way up." They looked at me alarmed (or rather Strider and Legolas did-the others had very little idea of what I was talking about.) " I tripped, what did you think? Have you ever tried to balance crutches and a dress at the same time?"
Legolas looked at the rising moon and stood.
Bad, very bad.
"It will be time to get you to the Healers soon and," he leveled me with a look and switched back to Sindarian, "we need to talk."
Did I say bad? That was an understatement. It was Isildor with the one ring bad. Elrond with one eyebrow raised bad. King Thranduil asking me to dance bad.
He picked me up as if he was picking up a infant. Apparently he had been working on his arm muscles; I was clutching them tightly and shrieking like a dying orc. His words, not mine.
I don't know where we went, but when he set me down on a log, I moved over as quickly as possible. He caught me easily, as I was moving as quickly as a stuffed hobbit and pulled me back into his side. We sat there for some time, me trying to figure out how I get myself into these messes, and him just sitting there.
"Are you hurting?"
"No."
"Good."
More silence. Okay, there is always a great way to start a conversation. Sarcasm.
"Is there a reason you dragged me halfway across Lorien with an injured leg?" There, I had gotten snippy. What else was I supposed to do, fall at his feet?
He looked at me then. Oh, he had that indigo blue looking thing going on in his eyes again. Pause for creative imagery. This could mean only one thing.
I was about to get thoroughly kissed.
Why can't Elves be disappointing for once?
He lips pressed to mine, and I can honestly say he had improved his technique, and I must say I positively melted against him. There really isn't much else you can do sitting on a log with an injured leg.
When he finally pulled his head back, all I could do was stare at him. "Celede, do you know how much I missed you?"
Apparently he is an Elf who enjoys pain, getting shot at, his shins kicked, and baskets of deadly apples dropped on his head. Either that or he is very, very, very bored.
I, of course, told him so in no nonsense terms. His reply was to kiss me again. Apparently he enjoys sarcasm too.
So we sat there on that log kissing for some time (actually he was kissing me) and I managed to get some information out of him. Apparently Gandalf had fallen in Moria, which would explain why he was so cuddly, and they were all exhausted.
I made a comment around that degree and he leveled me with a look. "Do you really just not like my company?"
Oh great, now he had put me on the spot. What to say...what to say...."Well your stalking has improved from a fumbling dwarf to that of a Elfling in training, and your not completely lost in the tactics department or else I would not be here...and the romance has improved...so you will do."
He looked at me for a long time. Hey, I don't respond to pressure well. What did he expect me to say, that I was going to die from missing him when he went back to wherever he was going?
Apparently so.
I fumbled around trying to figure out how to explain this to him. "Legolas what exactly is all this anyway?" I mean honestly, what does he think I think this is? All he has done is either drag me around Mirkwood by my ears, or proposed and got slapped. Everything else has been one big assassination plot.
He looked at me for a long time. Then his lips quirked and I felt like something he would stalk in the woods. Despite my sarcasm, on his part Legolas reminds me of a very dangerous cat, always on the hunt.
He leans close enough to where our noses are touching.
Hello, personal space? Granted, he has been violating it for the past half an hour but his is a little much!
"This, Celede, is getting you to agree to that marriage proposal I gave you when we where children."
Apparently this elf is off his rocker. I gawk at him for the longest time and he just sits there with this satisfied smirk. I fully question his sanity and inform him in no certain terms of the fact that he is insane.
"Am I?"
Hello, I was thirteen when he gave me that proposal. He was like 22. Did he actually expect me to believe that he has been in love with me his entire life? Did Thranduil know his son was perfectly insane?
He must of read something of it in my expression because I did not say it out loud. If I had, I would have put my father to shame in cursing someone.
"Just wait, Celede, you will eventually see it my way." He is SO arrogant. I decided that right then was the perfect time to practice my left hook, but he seems to read my expression as well as I do his because my hands were quickly caught in his.
Creative vocalization time!
I proceeded to rant at him with everything I could come up with. From the way his hair fell to his grandfather's depressing habit of burping after dinner. He just looked at me with an amused expression and it was all I could do not to hit him. Of course, the fact that his hands were locked around mine never once entered the equation.
He, of course, just smiled. I glared at him and told him I wished to go back to my fleet.
The worst part was, he carried me the whole way back.
~*~
The Fellowship stayed there for some time. I hid behind the healers and my wound and no one was allowed to see me. My leg finally healed up and I dodged him of all my own will power.
And then the day came when they were to leave. I stood off to the side as I watched Galadriel hand out her gifts. It was surprising that Gimli, that was the Dwarf's name, asked for three strands of her hair. I felt great hope for the Dwarf, perhaps he could see past his prejudice. It looked like it surprised Legolas as well.
He turned and saw me.
I cringed.
Really, if I did not know better I would say Galadriel told him where I was, and by the look she gave me I bet she had! The traitor! I made sure to think loud appropriate thoughts in her direction knowing she would pick them up.
He walked over and just starred at me. I was busy looking at the bow Galadriel had given him. It was a good bow, very well crafted even by our standards. I said so, and he agreed with me. I also commented on how the only way anyone would allow me to own such a weapon was if I had blackmailed someone high up.
He laughed.
And continued to stare at me.
And I stared back. What else was I supposed to do? He pulled something out of his boot and I starred at it. It was a rather nice looking dagger with nice designs on it. He grabbed my hand and pressed the hilt into my palm.
Uh oh courting gifts?
I opened my mouth to refuse it but his fingers were there to stop the words. He apparently knew a sarcastic comment was coming.
"To keep you safe while I cannot."
Okay, first of all, did I need him to keep me safe? No. Second of all, he was going to destroy the ring of power, what else could he do? I must have muttered something like that around his fingers, I really don't recall, and he just smiled at me.
"Stay well, Celede. I will make you mine." Have you ever heard a better reason to pretend your Nimrodel? I think I said something like that again because he shook his head and kissed my knuckles on the hand without the knife. Apparently he did not want to tempt fate.
Then he turned, crawled into a boat with the dwarf, and disappeared down the river Nimrodel.
Now why did I really want to throw myself into those waters?
Galadriel came and stood next to me. "We can expect much from him in the years to come."
That is grand. "He is a Prince after all." Such a brilliant and wonderful comment.
"He is very set on gaining all that he wants with life, and I do not think something as small as Mordor can keep him from his goals." It was a conspiracy. "Are you sure your not one of those?"
Lets hope not. "Who can judge?" Oh, I sounded all Elvish. You know that standoffish thing we have going? Unfortunately, she has this whole mind reading thing going on.
"Trust you feelings." Then she turned and walked away.
My feelings want to know where the apple basket was this visit.
A few weeks later we got the message that Arwen was coming. She was departing middle earth. Something about her leaving seemed wrong and it was up to me to find out what!
