Part Ten:

After my bad experience with Annie, there were a lot of, erm, sympathetic girls at the Ministry who were more then eager to show me that they weren't like her.

I went on date after date, most ending the next morning in her bed or mine. But I didn't see anyone exclusively.

I knew I was getting a bad reputation at the Ministry: I was the talk of the tea room. But I didn't care: things were getting heated up with the Voldemort situation, and Dumbledore had called upon us to join him in the Order of the Phoenix.

Amidst the excitement, Lily and James made an announcement: they were getting married. I was happy for them, of course I was, but...well, I still wasn't over Lily, not quite.

She was the one who told me about the engagement. I was at home on a Friday evening, which was rare. I heard a knock on the door and answered it to find a red-cheeked, sparkling-eyed Lily at my doorstep. "Oh, Sirius! I have to tell you the news!"

"What is it?" I asked, stepping back to let her in.

She stepped past me and I closed the door. She jumped up. "Oh, James proposed to me!"

"What?" I was shocked: I knew that James loved Lily, but I didn't think he was ready to settle down and start a family yet.

She frowned. "You didn't know he was going to?"

"No, this a total surprise."

She smiled again. "Check out my ring, isn't it pretty?" She held it out: a large princess-cut diamond. "I was sure you knew, James never had much taste in jewlery and I thought you'd helped him."

"No, he must've gotten his mother to help."

"Well," she said, wandering into my living room. "We're really not supposed to announce it until Christmas at his parents, but I just wanted to come over and tell you." Suddenly, she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. "You're my best friend, Sirius, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know, Lil."

"We want to make you our best man."

"Thank you." I hugged her tightly, then let her go. "Would you like some tea, or-"

"Oh, no," she said with a giggle. "I'm much to excited. My stomach is jumping around..."

"When will the wedding be?"

"We were thinking about spring? Wouldn't that be pretty? In his parents' backyard."

"Oh, yeah, it's nice back there." I remembered the flowers all over the garden, and the hedges shaped like unicorns and centaurs.

Lily eyes suddenly narrowed. "Sirius? Are you okay?"

"What? Yes, of course."

She didn't believe me. "Are you alright with...this?"

I faked a laugh. "No, Lil. I don't want my two best friends to get married."

"Well, I was a little worried that-"

"That what? That I still had a crush on you?" I laughed again and she cracked a smile.

"Wow, do I need to get over myself, or what?"

When she left, I had to keep myself from sulking around and sighing. They were going to do it: they were getting married. I didn't think I could stand it...

*************

I helped plan the wedding, which took place in the Potter's backyard on May 11th. I felt like a penguin in my Muggle suit, but Lily had insisted on a Muggle traditional wedding, in memory of her dead parents. She was upset that her sister and brother-in-law refused to attend, but she was still radiant.

Since she couldn't see James before the ceremony ("it's bad luck!" she insisted), she came to see me before the wedding began. I was sitting in the Potter's kitchen by myself, cradling a glass of fire whiskey. She came up behind me and said, "Can't that wait until the reception?"

I jumped and looked over my shoulder at her. I had to hold back a gasp: she looked so beautiful. Her white dress was glimmering, and her red hair was piled in a complicated updo, similar to the one Ruthie had worn to the Yule Ball years before. But it looked so much better on Lily. She was smiling at me.

I gave her a sheepish grin. "I'm just a little nervous."

"You're nervous?" she said with a laugh. "Sirius, I feel like I'm going to throw up." She sat next to me and sighed. "My wedding day. Good lord."

I patted her hand. "It'll be okay, Lil. You look gorgeous."

She smiled at me and snatched the fire whiskey glass from me. With one quick motion, she downed the rest of it. "There," she sighed, slamming the glass back on the table. "That should help."

I laughed. "Don't you ever change, Lil."

"I wouldn't." She gave me a small smile. "Oh, Sirius, I'm so happy. I hope James is as happy as I am."

"He is," I assured her.

"I hope you'll be happy like this someday," she said with a sigh. "I know how unhappy you are."

"I'm not," I insisted, but she stood up.

"I better go: I'm getting married in a little while."

Watching her walk down the aisle towards me made me feel dizzy. But then I remembered: she wasn't walking to me. She was walking to James, the man at my side. It was James, not me, that she was beaming at, and she didn't swear to love me forever: it was James.

At the reception, I hooked up with Lily's French cousin. She was pretty, but she wasn't nearly the same kind of beauty as her cousin.

All hope that I held, that I'd have Lily someday, died the day she got married to my best friend.