Part Twelve:

The time between my pact with Lily and before I went to Azkaban wasn't a "dry spell": I had a girlfriend.

Her name was Tallie Brant, and I think she took the relationship a little more seriously then I did. She would sometimes talk of marriage and living together, while I would smile and nod. I didn't love her, I'd only loved two girls in my life. One was dead, and the other was taken.

The night that Lily and James died, I wasn't even thinking of her. I was thinking about poor Lily and James, and what would become of Harry...and how I would kill Pettigrew.

It had only been a few days before that we'd made the Secret Keeper switch. I'd taken Pettigrew to the Potters, and talked it over with them. As Harry crawled around on the floor, I pleaded my case. "Voldemort with suspect me. They'll be much less likely to come after Peter." The traitor nodded his agreement.

Lily, with her women's intution, sensed trouble. "Are you sure about this, Peter? It could be dangerous..."

"There's no denying that you and James are Voldemort's next targets," I said sharply before Peter could open his mouth. "Lil, I'm just looking out for you guys."

"I know, Sirius..."

"Then you'll do this. It's the right choice. Right, James?"

James looked hesitant. "Um...yeah, whatever you say..."

"Look, if Voldemort comes after me, he can give me the Crucio curse until my ass bleeds, and I can't say a word," I said. As an afterthought: "Not that I would."

"Oh, Sirius!" Lily looked tearful.

"There, there, dear," James said, patting her knee akwardly. He clapped his hands together. "Alright, then. Let's get at it."

At that moment, little Harry crawled over to me and sat. He held his arms to me: up! I picked his up and put his on my knee. If I'd known that I wouldn't see him again for so many years...

After the switch was made, I hugged Lily goodbye...for the last time. Kissing her cheek, I whispered, "You take care of yourself and that baby."

"I will, Sirius."

One more kiss, and a handshake from my best friend James, and I was gone.

And I never saw them again.

I lost my mind for awhile after they died. I went to their house after finding Peter gone from his, and I knew right away what had happened. I threw the door open, and there was furniture all over the place. I lept over it, and saw James's dead body by the kitchen. Sickened with sorrow, I went to the back of the house, towards their bedroom. "Lil? Lily! Where are you?"

I knew the truth before I saw her. Lying facedown on the bedroom floor, her red hair a tangled mess. "Oh, God," I whispered, kneeling down. I was about to turn her over when I heard a baby cry. "Harry," I said, a ray of hope inside me. He was alive!

I went to his bedroom to find the huge figure of Hagrid stooped down, trying to calm the baby down. "Oh, my God," I said, causing him to turn around. "Hagrid! He's-"

"Alive," the giant man said simply. He held him out for me to see. My one-year-old godson was sniffling, and tears were running down his chubby face...but he was alive. I snatched him from Hagrid's arms, holding him protectively against my chest, crying.

"There, there," Hagrid said, hugging me. I crying into his chest (that's as far as I reached on him), then stepped away.

"I'll take him back to my house, he'll be safe there."

Hagrid shook his head. "No, sorry. Halfta take 'im"

"I'm his godfather!"

"Sorry, Sirius. Dumbledore's orders. He's goin' to his aunt an' uncle's now."

I sighed and handed my godson back over. "Fine," I said, suddenly exhausted. "Take my motorcycle with you, I won't be needing him anymore." With that, I fled.

I got my sanity back right after I'd blasted the street away, and saw the Muggles, all dead, on the ground. Peter, the son of a bitch, was gone. I'd found it so funny a second before, but the horror hit me of what had happened...

I went quietly. I saw Tallie, my girlfriend, who worked with Muggle Relations. She was sobbing and looking over at me. For the first time since we'd been together, I thought I loved her. I wanted to marry her, and live in a house together, with Harry and our own children. But I couldn't have that now. I couldn't have anything.

And Azkaban was where the real dry spell began.