Disclaimer: *sigh* I do not own InuYasha. If I did? It wouldn't suck as much as it does. XD
AN: Crappy little fic in Kagome's point of view that I wrote ages ago. You know. Back when I was a lame fangirl who was into InuYasha... Not to mention het. ^_~
Heh. Despite my saying that, I can't completely lie and say I feel nothing for this pairing... My feelings are pretty mixed about it, but deep down, I suppose they are still kinda cute together... Anyway. This is ancient and crappy. I tried to edit it a little, but it's so different from my current writing style that it, ano... Well, it kind of threw me. Eh, whatever. Just read it.
Hope
As the moon shines it's dusty beams down upon the shadowy night, I stare at dark clouds drifting slowly across the darkened sky. Shapes of monsters, creatures and anything the mind is capable of imagining can be discerned in the smoky, ethereal apparitions.
I've seen much worse on my journeys throughout this feudal era.
Real monsters, real battles, death and pain. Yet I have also seen beautiful things, and I have met many wonderful people. It's strange really, how terrifying this place can be, yet still so amazing.
It's late, the fire is low, but sleep escapes me. When I close my eyes, my thoughts keep me from rest. Thoughts of home, thoughts of battles yet to come, but mostly... Thoughts of him. 'Him' being InuYasha, of course. The one boy who can frustrate me the most, yet at the same time... The one I can never seem to get out of my thoughts. Shaking my head ruefully, I turn back to the small fire, warming my chilled hands, redirecting my gaze to the sleeping forms of my companions.
They look so peaceful, I think, a small smile forming on my lips. Shippou, the little fox demon cuddled up next to Kirara and Sango. The demon huntress, curled up on her side, as far away from Miroku and his wandering hands as she can possibly get. Miroku himself sleeping upright, leaning against an old, weathered tree.
I then let my gaze fall on the sleeping form of InuYasha, back also against a tree, a distance away from the others, his long silky hair hiding his beautiful face. His ears twitching slightly, I wonder if he is dreaming. Perhaps of Kikyou. It's to be expected of course, he still loves her, after all. I fight down a wave of jealousy and hurt at that last thought, but I still accept it. As much as it pains me, my hope that he will ever feel anything for me is all but gone.
I shake my head again, trying to clear my thoughts. It's useless to worry over it, I tell myself, it doesn't change anything. But a girl can still dream.
Lost in my thoughts, it takes me a moment to realize that the half-demon isn't quite as asleep as what I'd thought, that I've been staring right into his luminous amber eyes. I quickly lower my gaze, a blush spreading over my face.
After a few moments of silence, he stands, moving closer to the flickering fire, sitting himself near me. "How come you're not asleep?" he gruffly inquires, and I can feel warmth spread over my cheeks once again. "I'm just thinking. How about you, InuYasha?" I ask quietly, not wanting to wake the others.
He's silent for a few moments, as if trying to decide what to say. "Just... Just dreams. That's all," he finally mumbles, and I can tell by his eyes that the dreams must have been painful for him.
We sit in silence for some time, and I debate with myself if I should question him further. I don't want to upset him, but it's obvious to me it's really bothering him. I never have the chance to decide either way, as he surprises me with continuing on his own.
"Dreams about my Mother... It's been so long, I can hardly remember her anymore. But sometimes in dreams... It almost feels like she's still here somehow, like I can still feel her. But it's just a stupid dream, it isn't important," he hesitantly confesses, and my heart twinges with sympathy for the silver haired half-demon.
He's lost so much. Any chance of a normal life was taken from him, snatched away from him the very day he was born. He's never had the chance for an ordinary life... That thought pains me so very much. "It is important, InuYasha. It's important to me. It's okay to miss her, you know. You don't have to pretend like you don't. You've had it rough, and you've lost a lot. It's okay to care. I care," I gently say, lowering my gaze, unsure of what his reaction will be. Should I really have said such a thing, I wonder?
For several moments he says nothing, and I begin to think that our conversation is over, that maybe I really have said too much, after all.
"I... Thanks, Kagome," InuYasha softly murmurs, his words so faint that I almost miss them entirely. Did he really just thank me?
My heart beats furiously, and my cheeks must be on fire by now as I look back up, gazing at his face. His beautiful face... I then see something that surprises me even more so. A smile. Not a smirk, not his trademark sneer, but a real smile. Small, but nevertheless, real.
My eyes widen and my heart pounds even faster as he slowly reaches his slender hand out to push a lock of my dark hair away from my eyes. His hand lingers a moment, softly brushing my warm cheek, his hand smooth and cool, reassuring and gentle. He seems to realize what he is doing then, quickly pulling his hand back, gazing deeply into the dying fire, a small blush of his own quickly spreading across his cheeks.
"You... You should get some sleep. We're getting an early start in the morning," he gruffly remarks, his voice forceful, edgy. The grumpiness isn't as effective when you're face is on fire, I think, forcing back a giggle.
"Goodnight, InuYasha," I whisper, slowly crawling into my sleeping bag. I lie and watch him for a few more moments, watch as he looks thoughtfully into the dwindling fire, his bright eyes reflecting the last flickering light. His eyes seem iridescent, glistening, and beautiful. He... He is beautiful. So beautiful.
Gruff, angry, obnoxious, but inside, carefully hidden away, is a beautiful, gentle young man. A young man that seems to be showing himself more to me, little by little. He never ceases to amaze me, to surprise me. But I guess that's how love is. My eyes slowly close, and I softly smile, my last thought before drifting off into sleep is that maybe...
Maybe there is still hope after all.
~owari~
Rae: Cute, dorky, lame, lalalalaa.....
