Regret

Pt. 1

As I look over at my family, I don't seem to fit in the picture Why don't I belong? Why don't I fit in?

As I look at my family I see that they are so happy without me. I should just leave them, Maybe they would be a lot happier without me.

As my mother calls me I can hear in her voice that she is mad at me. I probably did something wrong. I do everything wrong. I will never be as good a witch as my mom and aunts. I mean who can ever compare to the charmed ones, my mom could give me some slack. I never even asked to be a witch. Every time I say something about not wanting to be a witch my parents yell at me. They say I should be lucky to have my powers. I don't care if I have powers, I don't want them, I didn't ask for them. Sometimes I wish I wasn't even born. I wasn't even suppose to be born, my parents use to say that I was a miracle. But they don't say that any more, they just say what a pain I can be.

"Melinda" I can hear my mom yell. I yell at her telling her that I'll be there in a second. But I'm not coming; I'm leaving, forever. I heard it would be painless. I have never even held a gun before. It's heavier than I thought it would be. I have thought this though over and over in my head. Dad isn't home and can't come home for a while; my two younger sisters aren't home so they won't have to see this. My mom and aunt Prue are calling me. I look at the gun on my bed and think that all my pain will be gone with the pull of the trigger. Once I'm "up there" I will see my aunt Phoebe, (they all say that I act like her) maybe she will understand me. I feel a little nervous as I pick up the gun, I look around to make sure everything is in place, I make sure I left the note were they can find it. They say that most people who kill themselves leave one, so I did. I really don't want to do it in the head; I think if my mother saw me with my head blown off it would be too much for her. I'm thinking too much about this, I have to do this quickly before I change my mind. I load the gun and put next to my right temple. I pull the trigger. Everything goes quite and I can hear my mom and aunt scream. I feel like I'm not in my body, I can see my room, I see my mother and aunt run to my lifeless body. They are screaming and crying. My mother is calling for my dad, but I know he can't hear her. I watch my mother as she holds my body crying, she has my blood all over her. I didn't think that she would cry this much. I feel something pulling me and I hear my name, someone is calling me. I don't want to leave, I'm sorry for what I did; please let me take it back. I'm sorry for what I did mom, please let me take it back, I'm so sorry mom. I feel myself leaving this world, the last thing I see is my dad orbing in.