Buffy came home late that night. She'd decided to sleep at her mom's again since Angel lived in that direction and they'd decided to walk home together.

Buffy couldn't remember the last time she'd talked like that to anyone. She was so comfortable with him it was crazy. And yet she hadn't brought up Riley once. She just simply didn't remember him.

"This is where I live." She told Angel and they walked up to her porch.

"I guess this is where we say goodbye." He said as reluctant as her to part. He leaned down to kiss her but right before he touched her lips Buffy backed off.

"I'm sorry I can't." She said more sad then she'd thought she'd be. Angel looked disappointed and ashamed.

"No I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you I mean we just met I ..."

Buffy put a hand up to silence him. "I have a boyfriend." She said and he got quiet.

"Oh, ... you have a ..... oh." He looked away and then tried to smile to no success. "Well I guess this is my cue to leave." He took a step away from her. "Bye Buffy."

There was something about the way he said it that made it sound so final. She took a step after him but then stopped. She couldn't follow him - she had Riley. She was in love with Riley. Still her heart ached when she walked in through the door. She didn't get anymore time to ponder though since her mom came rushing towards her.

"Oh Buffy I've been so worried." She said hugging her daughter tightly. Buffy frowned.

Okay she was late but this was a little over the top of worrying.

"Yeah mom, I'm here and alive but not for long if you keep hugging me like this! I'm kind of getting trouble breathing."

Joyce let her go and first then Buffy saw tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong mom?" She asked worried and Joyce sobbed while she handed Buffy a note.

"This...did you know about this?"

Buffy took the note and read it.

"Dear mom and B. If you haven't figure it out by now this is kind of a goodbye for a while. I know neither of you will aprove of this and that was why I took of without telling you. You see me and Spike are going to New York. I know I'll be happy there, you knew I never really been that fond of Sunnydale. Anyways, I'll call you and mom, don't worry I'll be fine.

Faith"

Buffy got tears in her eyes as she went to sit down on their livingroom couch. She couldn't believe it. Faith had really took off. She felt an incredible need for her big sister, she couldn't stand the thought of Faith in New York. With no one to protect her.

"Oh mom." She hugged her mother and together they cried over the loss of Faith.

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The next day Buffy went to the dorms to pack a bag. She wanted to be able to keep an eye on her mother and was planning to stay home for a while.

Willow came to her while she was packing. "Hey Buffy ... what are you doing?" She asked confused and then pleading. "Oh no, don't leave. If it botheres you Tara doesn't have to be here all the time. We can be at her place too."

Buffy smiled and shook her head. "Don't be silly Will this has nothing to do with you and Tara. You know I love to see you two togther."

Willow calmed down. "So you're not leaving?"

Buffy nodded. "I'm leaving...but only for a while." She reassured and when she saw Willow's looks she sighed. "I need to keep an eye on my mom. Faith ran away last night."

"What? Are you serious?"

Buffy nodded again, sadder this time. "Yep, she and Billy Idol guy took of for New York."

Willow shook her head like she couldn't believe it. "She left here? With that Spike guy? Oh my God ... I understand why you want to stay at home. Your mom must be wreck."

"Well she's not fine." Buffy started to pack again and Willow sat down on her bed.

"Oh I've been meaning to ask you, where were you last night? Riley was here looking for you."

Buffy felt quilty and was afraid that that feeling was reflected all over her face. It was.

"What did you do?" Willow asked curious and Buffy slumped down next to her.

"I went to the Bronze." She said leavitating. Willow gave her an 'and' look and Buffy sighed. "And I met this really cute, older, charming, witty, gorgeous guy." She admitted.

"Wow, oh I mean... what did you do?"

Buffy shrugged. "Well we talked and then he walked me home when his shift was over." She was Willows questioning eyes. "He's a bartender ..... and well then he almost kissed me."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, then I remembered Riley." She looked sad and Willow nodded.

"Oh...yeah...Riley." She shook her head a little. "But do you like this guy?"

Buffy nodded. "That's the weird thing - I can't stop thinking about him. He's been in my mind all day and I keep hearing his voice ..... am I being incredibly weird?"

Willow shook her head wutg a laugh. "No but it sounds like you have a crush going on there."

Buffy sighed sadly. "I know. I'll have to get over it - it's not fair to Riley."

She stood up and finished packing. Willow watched her in silence. When Buffy was done she stood up and walked towards the door.

"For what it's worth I don't think you should stick with Riley because it's fair. If it doesn't feel right to you then it isn't fair to either of you. You'll just be unhappy." She said wisely before leaving the room.

Buffy sighed again and lay down on her bed to rest.

She fell asleep and didn't wake up until somebody kissed her gently.

'Angel' She thought but luckily didn't say that since of course it was Riley.

"Morning sleepy head." He said with a smile and she moaned a little and sat up and looked around with a confused look on her face.

"Hi." She mumbled and he grinned.

"Little tired are we?"

She nodded and yawned. "Where were you last nihgt?" She asked him and he llaughed.

"I knew you wouldn't remember - I told you a week ago. My cousin was getting married and I had to be there."

Buffy felt like a rotten person. All the explanations she'd come up with had been really really bad and had made her really mad at him. Now she felt like and idiot.

"Oh." She just said. She hoped he wouldn't ask her what she'd done but since that felt inevitable she changed the subject. "Can you drive me home? Faith has run away and I need to take care of my mom."

Riley seemed shocked. "Yeah of course. Faith ran away? Why?" He asked on the way to the car. He took Buffy's bag and she managed a smile.

"I'll explain on the way." She promised.

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That night Buffy felt an uncontrolable urge to go to the Bronze. She didn't though. She didn't do anything but study and take care of her mom the following two weeks. The only time she ever met Riley was when he offered to give her a lift.

She understood if he was bored with her but she didn't have strenghts enough to care about it. She wanted her mother to be okay first. She was a wreck by now. Faith had been gone two weeks and they'd heard nothing from her. Buffy understood what was going through her mothers mind and hoped that Faith would call to calm her down.

She was sick with not having a life but at least her grades were improving. Her mom tried to get her to go out but she just didn't feel like it.

She didn't want to go to the Bronze because she couldn't face Angel and she definitley couldn't face Riley - she felt so guilty.

She was sitting in front of the TV when a knock on the door was heard. Buffy got out of the couch and went to open the door.

It was Willow and Xander. They looked at her with big and shiny smiles.

"We are here to escort the young lady out of her house immediatley." Xander said and Buffy shook her head in a weak protest.

"No, look you guys..... I really don't feel like it. I don't have anything to wear and..."

Willow took her hand and started to lead her upstairs. "Come on. We are not leaving here without you ... so if you don't want house guests for the upcoming weeks you better work with us missy." She said friendly teasing and Buffy followed her to her room.

"But I can't ..." She started and Willow shook her head.

"Riley won't be there. He has a test tomorrow and Forrest, Graham and he are going to cram it all night. They told me so. Now get dressed."

Xander knocked on the door. "Can I come in? I'm bored out here."

"No." Willow replied firmly. "Just hold on to your pants mister. We'll be right out."

She helped Buffy choose black pants and a bright red tank top. They put on make up and then put up Buffy's hair in a high, slightly curled ponytail.

Willow smiled proudly. "Ready to dazzle the people your highness?" She asked and Buffy laughed.

"Not sure how you talked me into this." She said when they opened the door and Xander gasped.

"You look great Buff." He said and she smiled widely.

"Thank you Xander." She said and they walked to his car to drive to the Bronze.