Unhappy birthday part ten
Scott walked through the woods. He couldn't believe this was happening. Shelby had been gone for almost a full day now. And it was almost dark. He'd been calling her name for so long that he had almost no voice left. He knew Peter would make them go back soon. I have to find her, he thought. She needs to know I'm here for her. She needs to know that I will always be here for her. He turned and watched Daisy. Daisy had been with him since they had started searching. Her face was tear streaked. Only moments before she'd been angry. Yelling at Scott that searching was pointless that Shelby was gone. Scott had gotten angry back.
"She's not gone!" He'd shouted. "We'll find her. We have to find her." He'd told her.
"Face reality Scott, she's probably in the next state by now. Shelby knows how to get around."
"You can't give up, Daisy." He'd told her.
"What does it matter to you?" Daisy had shouted at him angrily. "You were never there for her before. "
This comment had really hurt him and he'd started to get in Daisy's face, but then he had stopped himself. "Look, I know your hurting, so I'm going to just let that go. But I care about her too. I may have screwed up once, but trust me it was a mistake I learned from."
Daisy had looked at him. "Sorry." She had said and the tears had began to flow, then she had sat down on a log. "I just can't handle this. She's somewhere out there. What if..." Daisy hadn't been able to say it. Scott wasn't sure he would have been able to handle it if she had said it. Scott had then sat down next to her.
"Daisy, don't do this. Shelby's tough. She'll be fine." He'd said. But even as he had said the words, he had trouble convincing himself. He knew the longer she was gone, the harder it would be to find her. "You have to believe we'll find her." He had said almost for his own benefit.
He watched as Daisy wiped her face with her sleeve. She was still crying, he could tell. She is never this upset, he thought. He remembered when Shelby had gotten lost in the woods. Daisy had blamed him. Had come after him saying it was his fault. But she'd been angry then, not like she was now. What if she doesn't come back? He thought. He shook the thought away he couldn't think like that. Shelby had to come back that was all there was to it.
"Hey, you two.' Sophie said coming up behind them. Daisy and Scott turned to face her. Sophie could see that Daisy had been crying. It's been so hard on these two, Sophie thought. If Shelby doesn't come back... Sophie couldn't bare to think of it. She wasn't sure the cliffhangers could handle losing one of their own. Sophie wasn't sure she could bear losing one of her own. These were her kids. These were her family.
"What is it, Sophie?" Scott asked. Sophie realized she'd completely zoned on them.
'It's getting dark. It's time to head back to the lodge." Sophie said sadly. She had hoped there search would have been successful, but after hours of searching they hadn't a lead to go on. It was almost as if Shelby had vanished. It's just what she wanted to have happened, Sophie thought. She knew Shelby and if Shelby didn't want to talk, there was no getting around it.
'We can't head back yet." Scott said. "We haven't found her yet."
Sophie gave them both a sad glance. "I know how you feel. I want to keep searching for her too. But it's really best if we head back and see if there is any news." Daisy and Scott looked at her. They knew there was no news. Had there been any they would have heard. Sophie could tell what they were thinking. "You're no good to anyone if your sick and exhausted. So why don't we head back, get a bite to eat and see if there's been any progress." Scott and Daisy knew she was right. They walked over to Sophie who put her arms around both of them and the three headed back for campus.
It was getting dark. Shelby knew she had to find someplace to sleep for the night. She was exhausted. She had talked to a few people and found that there was a park not far from a gas station that she had stopped at. The gas station had allowed her to use the restroom and clean up a bit. She had no food, but Shelby's stomach was so tied in knots from everything that she wasn't sure eating would help. She walked into the park.
Parks were good places to sleep. Normally street kids gathered there. There was sometimes benches more often then not. Or maybe trees. Trees were good to sleep against, not as comfortable as pillows, but you got used to them. Shelby looked around. There was almost no one in the park right now. She noticed that there was some trees on the other side and several benched. That left many options. Shelby walked across the park grass. She shivered a little. It had gotten colder as the sun had set. She made her way to the bench and sat down, curling her knees up under her.
She looked around, it was almost completely dark. The air was a bit cold. Shelby remembered this feeling. The one that always had come to her at night. Would tonight be the night I don't make it? She had always wondered that when she lived on the streets.
Shelby sat there for several minutes. She had thought she would fall asleep, but she couldn't. Now that she had stopped moving she realized just how badly she hurt. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. She put her head on her arms as the tears began to flow. She could never remember hurting this much.
"How did I ever make it through this before?" She asked herself. How had her life ended up like this? How was it that at one time in her life, she'd been young, innocent, unaware of pain in the world? And now, here she was, back on the streets, with no money, food or anything. And again there were people back home, waiting up for her, wondering if she was alive. Just like her sister and her mom had done before. But Shelby couldn't allow herself to think about them. She had to realize that she wasn't meant to be happy, that she wasn't meant for anything. Her life was here, in the streets, with no one around to take care of her, or to love her. This was where she belonged. This was the reason that she cried. I belong here, Shelby thought. They all know, I belong here, they'll give up looking for me after awhile. They'll understand that I was made for this. With that Shelby wiped her tears away and laid down on the bench. Sleep came to her a while later.
"There's no word yet on where Shelby is." Peter told the cliffhangers who again had gathered in the lodge. Shelby's mom had come by earlier, to see how her daughters were. When she found out Shelby was missing, she'd been upset. Peter had made her leave though, assuring her that he would call as soon as they knew anything. She was reluctant to leave, especially since Jess had refused to be anywhere near her, but she finally had left.
The cliffhangers sat there. They were all scared and shocked. They figured they would find Shelby by now. They figured she'd come back.
"I think it would be best if you all try to get some sleep, it's been a long day. Tomorrow, you'll go back to classes and we'll continue the search for her. We'll let you know when we know anything." He said. The cliffhangers went begrudgingly. They knew Peter wasn't going to let them just hang out until Shelby was found. Who knew how long it would be? They all hoped it wouldn't be long, but they had all felt it wouldn't be this long either.
"I thought we would have found her by now.' Sophie said to Peter after the cliffhangers and Jess had left.
"So did I." Peter said. He had taken a seat by the fireplace. "I think she's feeling scared and ashamed." He said. "Her past was revealed to all of them, I'm not sure Shelby was ready for that."
Sophie leaned against the back of his chair and began to rub his shoulders. "She probably also feels betrayed. Her sister was up here almost all day and didn't tell her. Not to mention her mom acted like she completely accepted Shelby, like everything was ok with her, when really she wasn't."
Peter nodded. "Shelby's hurting, but I was hoping she wouldn't run completely. She's never tried to run from here. It's her safe place."
"It was her safe place, until her mom showed up and told everyone. And then accused her of lying and it being her fault."
"Shelby was hurt badly by this, even... I mean when she comes back were going to have a hard time getting through to her again."
'I know.' Sophie said.
"I think I'll go wait by the radio, maybe Curtis will find something out. They were going to search a while longer. And Roger's still trying to come up with leads."
Sophie nodded. "Mind if I join you?" Peter nodded and then reached out and took her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. He knew this was hard on her. She cared a lot about them. He did too.
Sophie gave him a weak smile. She could tell that he was trying to be supportive of her, but she also knew he was hurting. He had tried so hard to get through to Shelby and finally had. And now her mothers visit could ruin it all.
Peter and Sophie looked at each other for a moment. Both knowing how the other was feeling. The cliffhangers had become their kids, had become their family. Shelby was missing, it made both Peter and Sophie feel as though a part of them was missing too.
Daisy laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Shelby had been gone for over twenty four hours now. Shelby and Daisy had become extremely close since Daisy had arrived at Horizon, particularly when Shelby was having problems with Scott. Daisy had been there for her. The friendship went two ways though, when her mother had died Shelby had been there for her.
Daisy couldn't believe how she was acting though. She had cried more in the last twenty four hours, then she probably had in her life. But Daisy knew Shelby, had learned all the personal facts of her life had shared in the pain when Shelby had had to go home. Had felt scared for her friend when she'd written letters about home to her. During all of that Daisy had held it together, but this time it was different. This time Daisy could tell her friend didn't want to come back. Daisy had seen the devastation in her friend's eyes when her mother had accused her. Daisy had been able to feel her friend's pain, maybe that's how she knew it was different. All Daisy knew was it had been over a day and Shelby was still gone. Daisy wondered how much longer it would be until Shelby returned. If Shelby returned.