Unhappy birthday part twelve
Shelby sat in the car and watched out the window as they drove down the street. Her breathing had become shallow and her heart was pounding. Thoughts whirled in her brain, but Shelby pushed them away. She tried desperately to get a grip on what was going on. She was sitting next to a man who was in about his forties, he had dark brown hair and sort of a muscular build and he was taking her somewhere so they could... She pushed the thought away, forcing herself to forget what was going on. It was better to forget.
"Maybe it's better to forget. Because all it does is hurt." Shelby remembered writing that to Daisy. Shelby was jolted from her thoughts, by the car engine being turned off. She turned looking to the man next to her then quickly focused her eyes out the window. They were in a dark parking lot. Suddenly Shelby felt a hand on her hand. She looked at the man hand as if it were a foreign object. The guy turned her hand over and Shelby felt the cash as he slid it into her hand. Her hand gripped around the money hard. The guy leaned over, putting one hand on her shoulder and then he leaned in and began to kiss her neck. His breath smelled of alcohol. Shelby tensed as his lips touched her neck. It made the hair on her neck rise. She closed her eyes as tears welled up in her eyes and she clenched her hands into fists. She felt so dirty. She could taste the vomit that was rising in her throat. He moved his hand and placed it on her shoulder. He slid it down and slowly undid the top button of her shirt. He then moved his hand down and began to work on the button below that one.
"You always were my sweet one."
"There are other ways to make money on the street besides selling yourself."
"You were always so good at keeping secrets."
"You could have begged."
"I've got a few other complimentary thoughts about your body."
"At least she's not a skank."
"Kitten."
"I don't go for used cars."
The words rang threw Shelby's head. This was who she was, she had fooled herself thinking she was anything but. The man had finished with the buttons and was now trying to push her back onto the seat. Shelby didn't move easily, but she didn't resist. As he was moving her back, Shelby felt something slide on her arm. She looked at her arm and saw it. Three beads were on a small piece of twine.
"Listen, all that stuff that I said about you and the other guys."
"You've faced some demons."
"Uh, "used car."
"A survivor."
"Yeah."
"I'm not proud of what I did, but I don't have to apologize to you or anyone else for it."
"I'm sorry."
"I am a human being so speak to me like one."
The words echoed in her head. Scott had managed to forgive her. To see her for who she really was. Daisy had too. Peter and Sophie and Jess they all had. My mom didn't, she still thinks I'm a hor. She thinks it was my fault. Shelby looked up. The man was still on top of her. She's right. If I stay here and do this she's right.
"I can't do this." Shelby said. The guy didn't pay her any attention. "I can't do this." She said again, only louder. She tried to sit back up, but the man was pushing her down. "Get off of me." She cried and pushed him, as hard as she could. He fell back a little allowing Shelby to sit up some, but it wasn't enough. He grabbed her arm. Shelby tried to jerk it free, but he had a tight grip. "Let go of me.' Shelby cried, trying again to get free. "I don't deserve this. I'm better then this. I am not a hor." Shelby said, not even realizing that she was saying it allowed. She pushed the man again, this time she had better leverage and her anger had helped her and she managed to get him off her.
She sat up quickly and reached for the door handle. He grabbed her though and pulled her towards him. "Look I paid my money and I'm going to get what I want." The man said, trying to push her back down onto the seat.
"Get off me. Somebody help me.' Shelby screamed as loud as she could. The man quickly covered her mouth with his hand.
"OW!" The man cried, because Shelby had bit him. "You little...." He cried and hit her. Shelby tried to protect herself, but couldn't. 'Does the little hor, think she's too good now?' He asked menacingly, he reached down and pulled on her shirt ripping it, even though it was already mostly unbuttoned.
Shelby wasn't sure exactly where it came from, but suddenly anger overwhelmed her. She wasn't sure if it was because of what happened with Walt, or her mom, or this guy, or what, but suddenly she was overwhelmed by it. She pushed him as hard as she could, grunting from the effort of it. He fell back against the drivers side door. Shelby moved quickly and managed to open the passenger door before he grabbed her again. Shelby turned though and hit him, again shoving him back against his door. Everything that she had felt the last few days became pent up anger and she just went off on the man, hitting him over and over again, until he finally managed to push her off of him. Shelby fell back towards the passenger side door and would have been stopped by it, had it not been open, but instead she rolled out of the car and fell hard onto the pavement. The guy reached over grabbed the door handle, slammed the door shut and drove off tires squealing.