Point of View
By: Starry NightsI don't really remember when it happened. It was sudden that's for sure and I didn't want to let you go because for a long time I had been watching you. I wanted to be the one your eyes followed around a crowded room. I wanted to be the one who's picture your poured your heart to.
I wanted to be your obsession.
So I followed you around because in my warped mind I hoped that you would pause long enough to smile or say at least two words to me but it never happened. Rarely did you care enough to even glance my way when you noticed I was behind you. Then it got to the point when I stayed around just to hear the sound of your voice. I watched you grow from an awkward insecure girl into a confidant teen and I wanted to be apart of your world. I wanted you to see me.
Then one day…my prayer, my hopes and my dreams were answered when you paused long enough to ask me a question. I wanted to die on the spot.
As our friendship grew I knew I could never take the place of the person who really occupied your heart. I wanted to try, I had patience but every time he came into a room, your eyes followed. Every time you heard his voice your face curved into a pretty smile and every time he spoke to you hope danced on your face.
Enter Brenda Dawson.
She wrote an editorial for the paper about building homeless shelters, creating peer mediating groups and using words instead of violence to make the world a better place and stole Arnold's heart all in one day. She was the girl version of Arnold and together they strolled the halls getting everyone from Sid to Rhonda involved in their humanitarian projects. Eyes downcast, you watched everyone talk about how wonderful their relationship was and as you watched the months drag into years some part of your heart disappeared with him until, one day, you announced one thing to me. You need closure, just to speak to him one time. I gave you my shoulder and some tissue as you called him, made arrangements and disappeared that Saturday.
*
It was like staring at a picture or a movie that's how much I didn't want this to be real. The summer sky and lush trees provided the perfect backdrop to this wonderful picturesque view. He was leaning against the tree reading a book calmly waiting for you. I can remember your words describing him and only you can do his description justice but he was there just as you asked. Patiently waiting even though you were nearly an hour late.
A little after four, you somberly strolled up to him. Despite the fact that he'd been waiting there since three, he opened up his arms to you and you gladly walked into his embrace.
"What's wrong?" he asked you.
You tried to smile. "I just needed to talk."
His face instantly turned to concern and a tiny smile formed on your face, no doubt happy that he was paying so much attention to you. I was worried. I didn't want this to end the way you wanted. It's selfish to think so but…
"Let's walk." He said calmly talking your hand. "It's a beautiful day."
You nodded slowly almost in a daze. "Sure."
"Brenda adores days like this. She's probably sitting on her roof right now painting the sky or the scenery."
I remembered your pretty face contorting into a mask of pain. Hated to be reminded that he even had a girlfriend and you will always be nothing more than a friend. As usual, however, you managed to hide this tiny fact from him.
"Why aren't you with her?"
He stopped at the pond and gazed thoughtfully at the sky before answering. "I would be," he admitted, "if you hadn't called me."
"Sorry to be such an inconvenience." You spat and started to walk away but he caught you and his face, that face you fell in love with many years ago, mirrored his confusion.
"Don't run." He began slowly and he smiled. "If I didn't want to be here. I wouldn't be."
"How sweet." You walked in front of him. "Do you say that to all your girlfriends?"
He chuckled. "You make it seem like I've had thousands of girlfriend but to answer your question…no, I don't."
"What a shame."
He continued to follow you. "Not that I'm not enjoying our little playful banter but…I was just curious, why am I here?"
"I said I needed to talk."
"But when you meant talk, I thought you meant…I just thought…never mind."
Encouraged by the blush on his cheek you turned around and laughed. The tears cascaded down your face as he sheepishly dug his hands into his pocket.
"I think people need to stop bugging you about their problems."
He frowned. "So you don't have problems?"
"I have problems. Everyone has problems but you can't help everyone. You damn sure can't help me," you added.
He smiled slowly. "You're right but I want to help people. I can't help that."
You smirked and tucked some unruly strands of hair behind your ear. "There are something even you can't help."
"Like what?"
You were becoming frustrated. You sat down and picked at some invisible lint on your pink sweatpants. "You can't help that my dad is a jerk, my mom's a drunk and that my sister is Miss Goody-Goody herself. You can't help that the only time my family acts like a family is when Miss Perfect graces my parents with her presence."
The tears were flowing freely down your face and he looked at you calmly. He pushed all the hair away from your face and pulled you close to him. He gave you his shoulder and he gave you his ear. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, you looked up. Your face was so close to his. The hope was so apparent in your eyes but he pulled away swiftly and…
His phone rang.
"Brenda, hi."
"Sure."
"No. Everything's fine."
"Sure. I'll be there later."
He stood up and smiled sheepishly. You sadly took his outstretched hand pulled yourself up. He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around the sunlit park.
"I'll always be here for you."
"Really?"
"Of course." He grabbed his book. "You're one of my closest friends."
"Thanks." You said masking your disappointment. "That means a lot."
"What now?"
She smiled weakly. "Now I'm going home."
"Will you be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll live."
You started to walk away but he was glued to his spot. "Helga?"
You paused but didn't turn around. "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
You turned around and met his gaze. "It's like I said…you can't help everyone."
"One day…I will."
You smiled. "I'm sure you will."
He watched as you disappeared then began on his trek home. I tried to slip by unnoticed but you saw me.
"Hi."
"Hello."
You smiled. "Walk me home."
I shrugged. "Okay."
"What the hell are you doing around here? I hope you weren't following me again."
I guess the blush on my cheeks must have given you an answer because you smirked and said, "You really have to stop doing that."
"Can't help it."
"Well, try!" she snapped then sighed. "I'm sorry."
Boldly, I put my arm around her. "Are you okay?"
"I will be."
"So…do you want to talk about it?"
She laughed. "Do you have an hour…or five?"
My happiness was making me bold. "I have all the time in the world for you."
She smiled and began her story. "It all started many years ago during a rainy day…"
It was that day I guess when I knew that there was no other person for me. I thank Arnold for that. I notice that you don't look away when Brenda and Arnold stroll into a room. I notice that the locket is in a box in a closet. I noticed all the whispers when we walk down a hall and all the time we spend together but most of all I noticed that our hands touch longer.
I'm not your obsession but maybe one day…
A/N: I never wrote from this perspective but I hope it didn't come out too bad. Review!
