A/N : Hey everyone! Thanx so much for the reviews on the previous chapter, I guess there is a point to me continuing with this, you lot are reading it and liking it after all! Anyway, as a warning, there is no actual Spuffy in this chapter as such but it's still important and it's got a lot of Spike in it and Willow too. The major Spuffy will be in the next chapter, I promise, but don't worry that won't be the end of this story, still lots of stuff left to happen...hope you like this and hope you review ;-) Oh, quick note to Infogal - I think the reasons for Buffy and Spike not being together will get clearer, but a lot of it is her emotional stuff and both of them being stubborn. Also to SlayrGrl55 - tying Spikey to a chair sounds like a good policy to me ;-)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 20 - Love Is Blind
Spike checked his hair in the mirror, slipped on his jacket and made his way out of the front door. He was headed for the Bronze, which wasn't abnormal at all, except for the fact that he was going to meet Willow, alone.
He'd only been home from school a few minutes when the phone had rung and it had been the girl he called Red.
"Meet me at the Bronze at seven, okay?" she'd said more like an order than a request, and that wasn't like Willow at all, she was usually so quiet and shy, Spike knew whatever she needed to see him about it had to be important. He agreed immediately, worried that his good friend might be in some kind of trouble and also feeling guilty that by avoiding Buffy all day he had also not seen the red-head, or the whelp.
"Hey, Spike" the witch called him over with a smile on her face as soon as he entered the club. He went to sit beside her, now seriously confused. She looked too happy for there to be a problem, so why was he here, alone with her? Only one thing made sense but they'd agreed from the beginning that friends was all they'd ever be, he liked Buffy and she liked Xander too much for things to be any other way.
"Hey Red" he smiled, nervous but trying to hide it, "what's up?"
"Nothing's up with me" she smiled, before cutting immediately to the chase "What's going on with you and Buffy?"
Spike sighed, finally getting it.
"What did she tell you?"
"Doesn't matter" Willow shrugged, passing her friend one of the two sodas she'd just ordered for them "I wanna hear your side"
Spike sipped at his drink, before taking a deep breath and looking down at his fidgeting hands in his lap.
"I love her" he admitted, in a quiet voice, that sounded nothing like the Spike that Willow was used to "more than I've ever loved anyone and it scares me half to death how much I want her but..." he sighed again "she keeps blowing hot and cold on me, silly bint drives me crazy..." he laughed in spite of himself before explaining about two nights ago and exactly what he had done and not done, followed by Buffy's reaction on Sunday morning "...I guess I know the truth now though" he finished sadly "she's never gonna feel the same way about me as I do about her"
Willow had to bite her lip so as not to laugh when she replied to his little speech.
"You two really are ridiculous, you know that?"
"Hey, I'm bearing my innermost here, Red! A little sympathy wouldn't go amidst" Spike complained. How dare she laugh at him when he was opening up to her in a way he found really hard with most people? He thought she was supposed to be his mate!
"I'm sorry, I am" the witch quickly apologised "but you really have no idea, do you?"
"About what?" Spike asked, looking back at her.
"Buffy!" she exclaimed as if it should be obvious, "She loves you!"
"Yeah, right, like hell she does" the bleach blond scoffed, gulping at his soda for something to do.
"Spike..." Willow shook her head, beginning to think her efforts were hopeless.
"Did she tell you?" Spike said suddenly "Did she actually say it?"
Willow's silence told him what he'd expected but dreaded.
"Thought not" he said sadly, looking away once again.
"Spike, she didn't have to" his friend protested, putting a hand on his arm to get his attention "it's just so obvious!"
"Not to me it bloody isn't!" he said, flinching his arm away.
Willow thought for a moment. How could she make him see what was so obvious to her? Maybe there was a way...
"When you were in kindergarten" she started, eventually, "was there a girl that you liked?"
Spike looked at her like she'd just grown another head.
"What the bloody hell has that got to do with anything?" he wanted to know.
"Just answer the question, I have a point I swear" the red-head urged him and with a sigh he gave in.
"Yeah, there was a girl, blonde kid, Darla"
"And you liked her?" Willow checked.
"I just said it, didn't I?" he snapped back and Willow physically jumped.
"Okay..." she drew out "so you liked her, what did you do?"
For a moment Spike looked wistfully thoughtful and a smile crossed his features that had looked so angry a second before.
"Pulled her hair, called her names and nicked her chocolate biscuit at break time usually" he said as if he were proud of it.
"There you go" Willow smiled in triumph, but Spike still didn't get it.
"Er, not following here, pet" he admitted and Willow let out yet another sigh.
"You were mean to her because you liked her" she said as explanation.
"And Buffy...?" Spike started, piecing together the information "Oh" he said in sudden realisation.
"Yes" Willow nodded, relieved to finally be getting somewhere, she never knew getting Spike to understand would be so complicated, but then getting Xander to notice her had been practically impossible so, 'it must be a guy thing' she surmised.
"I know it's childish" Willow admitted as Spike's mind reeled from the shock "cos I mean we're older now and we should technically be more sensible but, Buffy had a rough time with her last boyfriend and being the Slayer puts a strain on all her relationships with everybody, not just guys"
Spike looked over at her, with surprise and a little guilt. He hadn't really considered any of that, he'd just wanted Buffy to care about him like he cared about her. He never thought that she might feel the same and just have trouble showing it
"She lashes out cos it's her way of dealing" Willow said seriously.
"Should've known that I s'pose" the bleach blond admitted "Guilty of striking out when scared myself...not that I get scared a lot" he added too quickly.
"It's okay, Spike" Willow laughed a little "I'm not going to tell anyone anything about you that would 'damage your street rep'" she air-quoted with a grin.
"Y'know Red" he gave her a lop-sided smirk, "You're alright"
"Well, you're not so bad yourself" she told him, smiling back, "Only wish my own love life was as easy to figure out" she added, quietly, but he heard every word.
"I thought things were better with you and Harris?" her friend said, a little confused. Had the two not danced with each other most of Saturday night and then left the club together too?
"So did I" Willow admitted "and they are, I mean, we danced a lot at the Bronze and he walked me home and it was really sweet" immediately her eyes glazed over and she was in her little fantasy dream world that was all about Xander Harris "Sometimes he looks at me and I think he knows, he knows how much I love him and he feels the same and I'm going to get my fairytale ending..." she sighed, dejectedly, knowing her dreams were not real "but life's not a fairytale and just when I think he might kiss me or tell me he loves me or something romantic, he..."
"Cracks a joke?" Spike guessed.
"Yes!" Willow pointed a finger and yelled.
"Will, he's probably scared" Spike was slightly concerned to realise that himself and the Whelp had something in common, both afraid of some stuff that they feel "You know the Whelp, he can fight demons as good as any of us" he admitted "though don't tell him I said that" he added, quickly, "but demons inside are harder to beat"
"He doesn't need to be scared of me or how he feels about me" Willow protested.
"You were scared about telling him how you feel, why shouldn't he be the same?" came Spike's reply and Willow knew he was right. She smiled somewhat evilly as she had a thought.
"How come you figured all that out but you didn't see that Buffy loves you?"
He smiled, knowing he'd been stupid but that his friend was only teasing him, not meaning to be nasty at all.
"Easier to see when it's not you, I guess" he shrugged.
"Good point" Willow agreed, realising she'd been the same, noticing Buffy and Spike's love-dilemma, but not really understanding her own.
"Looks like we both have stuff to work out with certain people" the red-head sighed yet again, sipping at her soda.
"Yeah..." Spike drew out the word, realising he had a long feelings-related talk to have with the girl he loved, not something he was looking forward to, but something he had a little more confidence in now he was pretty certain Buffy did love him.
"No time like the present" he said more to himself than to Willow, before touching her arm to gain her attention and pointing toward the doors.
"Look" he said simply and she did, just as the two people they'd been discussing entered the Bronze.
To Be Continued...
