Chapter Eleven

Eyes of Truth

It was very cold where he stood, there amongst the snow. Churo was completely silent at his side. The old man was remarkably keen for his age, and his eyes were still sharp as they pierced through the rapidly diminishing light toward their quarry.

Remus suppressed an urge to sigh. They had been tracking Duryan and pack D Two for nearly the entire day and all Remus believed they had accomplished was learn where the group of people wandered all day long like actual wild wolves. Churo, seemingly more thoughtful after his ordeal with Voldemort and his henchmen, had become increasingly more nervous about D Two while he was recovering. That was two weeks ago, and now that Remus had become convinced that the old leader could run around in the snow, Churo insisted that he accompany him on some strange outing.

"I told you it takes six months to brew that potion Duryan wants so badly," Churo had muttered as he and Remus alone left the Den while Alpha scowled at their backsides. "They have something to do with the Dark Lord, that's for sure. This is not just another one of Duryan's childish activities."

"So what exactly is it that you want me for?" Remus had asked, nervous that he had excused himself from working on a project with Sirius so that he could accompany Churo.

Churo had looked over his shoulder to see if Alpha was out of sight, before he looked straight ahead at their path without a glance at him.

"I take all my charges out alone when I feel they are ready."

Remus had thought about this cryptic answer all day, because he quickly became bored as the old man hopped around from tree to tree once Duryan and his people were spotted, acting like some sort of secret agent.

When dusk arrived, there they were. Churo was breathing slowly beside Remus while he stared idly at the group of people beyond them. They were just outside an old house, some of the pack members wandering about outside. It was very dull just standing there, and Churo had hardly said a word all day.

A thought popped into Remus' head. For those entire two weeks, as he juggled working with the Pack and with the Order, again Beta was absent. He had become increasingly worried about her, regretting that he had not acted immediately to help her that night Churo was assaulted and Remus realized what Alpha was doing to her.

"Churo, where is Beta?" he whispered.

Churo turned sharply to him, his expression cross.

"Hush! You want to be heard?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "I hardly believe this is all necessary. Why do you have me here, staring at these people? You said six months, it's only been three."

Churo looked back at the people and the house, watching the trickle of smoke from the chimney rise. His shoulders sagged slightly and he nodded.

"I just thought… Well, fine then. Let's go."

The old man turned and began to hobble back over their tracks in the snow. Remus hesitated a moment, looking at the house, before following.

"There is more to you than meets the eye, Rogue. I see that now," Churo said suddenly, not looking at him.

"How do you mean?" Remus asked, taken slightly aback. Sweat suddenly began to wet the back of his neck.

"Alpha is a very strong man, Rogue. It will take much to overcome him." Churo pressed on, grunting slightly as he pushed past a fallen tree trunk in the snow.

"What are you talking about?" Remus was completely at a loss.

"Don't play dumb with me," Churo huffed, glaring back at him. "I know what goes on in a rogue's mind. It's only natural."

Slowly, realization hit Remus. He stopped, ankle deep in the fresh snow, staring straight ahead of him. A whisper from somewhere deep in his memory seemed to be agreeing. The aim of the rogue was to become alpha male, leader of the pack, and have the right to mate. Alpha was the challenge, and since the first day Remus met him he had been unknowingly waiting for his chance to make his move. It became more apparent after he had found out about Beta and Alpha.

Churo had stopped as well and turned to Remus, panting.

"That's right. Now, what are you going to do about it?"

Remus shook his head, clearing his mind as if he had come out of a dream.

"What do you think I should do?" he asked.

"You're a rogue, aren't you?" Churo frowned. "Do you really need to ask?"

Remus began to grow impatient. He was tired of being compared to a wild animal with nothing but brutal instinct focused on survival and reproduction.

"What does it matter to you? Alpha is like your son; you've raised him since he was a boy. He's the rightful leader of this group and he's obviously succeeded you. Why are you so interested in a rogue that still hasn't been completely accepted into your company?"

Churo's expression did not change. He continued to frown at Remus, almost looking disappointed. The way he was panting heavily began to make Remus a little concerned, knowing that he was somewhat responsible for tending to his health.

"You… you've saved my life," he said suddenly, his voice quiet. "In my opinion, you're as much a part of the Pack as any other of my members. We look out for each other, care for each other, and protect one another… just as the wild wolf. These are the few traits we get from our curse that makes us better than the average human being. I tried to teach Epson that as an alpha he must put the Pack before himself, and all the other traits that make a good leader of any group of people. But he has grown into a tyrant, ignoring the dangers that threaten our territory, and he won't listen to all that I have heard inside Voldemort's circle."

Remus looked at Churo carefully as the old man made his way to another fallen log and sat down.

"And then there is Beta," Churo continued. "She above everyone else believes in you. The girl has never been much of a talker, always withdrawn, always quiet. But if your name should come into a conversation, she always vouches for you. I love her like my own daughter; the one I never had. It hurts me to see how Epson treats her. Perhaps it is because of my fear for her that I want you to succeed."

The blood suddenly rushed to Remus' cheeks. Churo looked up at him with a determined expression. He had a feeling that the old man had meant what he said when they had left earlier that day. That he always took his charges out alone when they were ready. Churo had taken Remus out because he wants him to become the new alpha of the Pack. The notion sent Remus' mind reeling.

"Why… why me?" he asked meekly.

Churo looked away and did not say anything for a while.

"Because you are more powerful than Alpha is. And because Beta believes in you," he said.

Remus began to feel overwhelmed. This was all too much! How was he going to handle this? Churo was looking at him with an almost expectant, dependant expression. Remus felt like running away, deep into the woods, alone with his thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to hide up in his secret room and lock himself inside, where he could release all his uncertainty and fear and no one would judge him for feeling what he felt.

"You're still young yet," Churo said resolutely. "Challenging the alpha of a werewolf pack is no simple matter. I've been watching you. You've been unconsciously sizing Alpha up, watching his every move, listening intently to what he says. Only one who wishes to challenge another will do this. As your elder, heed my words. Continue this, watch for his weaknesses. I'm not sure just yet, but I have a feeling things are going to get very bad before this year is out. Alpha is not prudent with taking matters seriously. I have a hunch, and I think we'll be hearing from D Two come spring.

"I'll be giving Beta more assignments, and coaching Alpha with more tasks. Hopefully that'll keep them apart. But should you see them conflicting again, don't step in right away. That will endanger everything and everyone. You'll have your chance."

It took everything Remus had to keep from trembling. So much responsibility, so many lies. If things were going to get this involved soon, his friends were bound to find out. Then his betrayal would be exposed, and if the Pack found out he was spying on them, relaying every word and move to Dumbledore, not only himself, but his friends would be in danger.

Churo's expression hardened; Remus tried to keep calm, but his skin had paled nearly as white as the snow.

"What?" Churo asked. "Afraid?"

Yes, I'm afraid, Remus thought, but he shook his head furiously. Churo took a deep breath and got up from the log, coming to stand in front of him. His old, wrinkled hands came upon Remus' shoulders, and for the first time since he met him Remus saw compassion on Churo's face.

"Don't worry. You're a very resourceful and intelligent person. Brawn is not everything, but Alpha doesn't think so. Listen to your heart…and that voice that growls at the back of your mind."

Remus blinked, looking at Churo as he cracked a rare, genuine smile and stepped away. Without another word, they headed back to the Den, where Alpha still waited.

"What's on your mind, Remus? You're more reserved than normal, and that's saying something."

Remus was sitting in Dumbledore's office a week later, giving his report on the activities of the Werewolf Network. The winter had had the Pack taking care of matters at the Den, receiving instructions and news via the transistor radio. Yet, the harsh January weather had prevented anything beyond the warm underground hideout to take place, even Churo stopped braving the snow to spy on the whereabouts of D Two. Beta continued to be elusive, Puck became increasingly skittish (Remus suspected a classic case of cabin fever), and the others did anything to keep themselves busy.

"Nothing," Remus muttered emotionlessly. But he was greatly bothered. Sirius was constantly on to him about how Remus appeared to be making excuses not to go out and socialize. James and Lily were either busy making wedding preparations for the spring, or working on a new project that would help in the effort against Voldemort. Peter had thrown himself into his work, hardly making himself seen at all. He complained that without a partner, stuff did not get done as fast. A strange expression would pass over his face when he remembered Emily, and Remus always frowned with sympathy.

With all his friends busy, it was not surprising that Sirius was at his wit's end. Remus became increasingly nervous that he would find out his secret.

Dumbledore smiled knowingly and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands over his lap and staring up at the numerous portraits of snoozing headmasters on the walls.

"These walls may have ears, and mouths for that matter, but rest assured that they know countless secrets. I've never had to worry that anything said or done here will ever leave without my consent. Know this, Remus."

Remus sighed and sagged back into his own chair, running a hand through his hair. He stared at the floor a moment before he found his voice.

"Professor? What am I doing?" he asked quietly.

"What do you think you're doing?" Dumbledore countered gently.

Remus said nothing for a moment, before he let his eyes travel to look into the calming blue of Dumbledore's.

"I'm not so sure, anymore."

The headmaster stared back at him, his gaze seemingly boring into Remus' mind.

"You haven't even been gone from this castle as a student for a year, yet you've done more in this short span of time than others in your year will do in a lifetime. You're making a difference."

"What could I possibly change?" Remus asked.

"Life is a cross of changes, intercepting and branching away countless times, an infinite chain of events that effect everything that has, is, and will ever exist. Everything we do effects everything, everyone. Look around yourself, Remus. Don't you think that what you're doing has already changed things?"

"You're evading my question," Remus muttered under his breath.

"You're evading the answer," Dumbledore said pointedly. Remus blanched.

Dumbledore simply took up a piece of parchment, clearly unfazed by Remus' remark. He read over it a minute before looking back at Remus, who had sat up and was trying hard to return his cheeks to a normal color.

"The full moon is in two days," Dumbledore said casually. "The others will be busy on this project that James and Lily have organized. However, Mr. Black will be very adamant to excuse himself for your benefit. I won't face him for fear of exposing your position, if you still wish to keep it to yourself. You'll have to deal with him, Remus, I'm sorry."

Remus sighed and nodded. Dumbledore had been keen to have his friends distracted during the full moon, much to their fury and concern, for the past few months. Remus had run with the Pack each time, and his cover would be blown if Sirius or any of the others came with him.

"Is there anything else you wish to tell me?" Dumbledore asked with finality.

"For now, no." Remus stood up, nodding curtly.

"Until later, Remus," Dumbledore said softly.

All Remus managed was to nod again, forcing a confident smile, and he left the office. It didn't surprise him all to much to see Sirius waiting for him just outside, standing with his arms crossed next to the stone gargoyle.

"You're awfully special, making all these private meetings with Dumbledore," he said.

Remus succeeded to keep his smile, slapping Sirius on the shoulder playfully.

"Of course I'm special," he laughed, but he wasn't laughing on the inside.

They walked outside to the Hogwarts grounds, making comments every now and then about how the castle would never change. Memories began to rise to the surface of their minds, and they both exchanged excited laughter and solemn reverence to the place of their youth.

"I miss our monthly walks," Sirius said offhandedly, averting his eyes. Remus grimaced, not wanting to discuss this so soon.

"Yeah, so do I," he said, truthfully.

"Naturally, the others are too busy. For once, Dumbledore and the old veterans haven't assigned me anything. Yet. Don't worry, I'm not going to let you go off alone again this time," Sirius said.

Remus couldn't bring himself to look at Sirius, walking a little ahead toward the castle gates where they could disapparate back to the Ministry.

Sirius mistook Remus' silence and quick pace. "I'm sorry, Remus."

"What for?" Remus slowed a little, his heart racing despite doing so.

"For not being there for you," Sirius said, running ahead to stop and stand in front of him. "We promised we would, and we haven't."

Remus looked at him now, trying hard not to let his emotions show.

"Sirius, we all work. We have perhaps the most important jobs in the country, fighting a war! I'm alright by myself, really I am. You won't always be around to help, nor will James, Lily, or Peter. As much as we hate to say it, we're adults now. If I'm going to make it on my own, I have to do things on my own, and that means my curse as well. I've managed fine to stay away from villages and towns, sticking to the forest. There haven't been any more mysterious murders, nor have there been any more sightings of that other werewolf. Honestly, Sirius, there is no need to worry."

Sirius, characteristically, did not look convinced. His eyes narrowed, furrowing his broad face as he looked at him.

"A promise is a promise, Moony. You know you'd do the same for me, or the others."

Remus lowered his gaze, nodding slightly. The wind picked up, ruffling up his hair, making him shudder slightly against the cold as they continued to stand there in the snow.

"Yes," he whispered. "I would."

Sirius nodded, seemingly satisfied and looking convinced that the matter was dropped and there'd be no more argument.

"Well, then. Humor me, don't contradict me or the others on this matter again, understand?" He pointed a thick, gloved finger at Remus.

Sweat broke out on Remus' brow, and he nervously tossed back his scarf.

"It's my nature to contradict you, Padfoot." He attempted a light-hearted grin.

Sirius made a noise of protest but said nothing further, turning to go out the gates. Remus frowned, allowing a shudder to move through him, although it wasn't from the cold.

"I'll see you back at the Ministry, then?" Sirius asked, once clear of the gates and able to disapparate.

"Right," Remus muttered.

Sirius paused a moment, looking at him closely, before he shrugged and sighed, disapparating with a loud POP. Remus was about to follow when another POP a few feet away caught his attention. Drawing a black trench coat closer around his body, Severus Snape stiffly walked up to the gates. Remus stood there, staring at him, until Snape realized he was there and scowled back at him.

"Lupin," he acknowledged icily.

"Snape," Remus countered.

Without another word, Snape made his way over the tracks in the snow Remus and Sirius had made from the castle. Flurries began to fall then, gathering quickly on Remus' bangs. He watched Snape for a moment, then disapparated before he could hesitate any longer.

It was less difficult than Remus expected to get the evening alone to himself that night. Sirius tried his best to cheer him for the rest of the day as they worked on reports that needed to be processed, locked up in their tiny office. He gave up, however, when Remus insisted they needed to focus on their work rather than ogling every woman that walked past the open door.

"How can you expect to ever get a date, Moony? If there was ever a man that needed a girlfriend, it's you," Sirius muttered over his shoulder.

"A girl would never date a guy with excessive body hair," Remus muttered exasperatedly.

"It's only once a month," Sirius said innocently.

When Clara Winner came by their office with more files, however, Sirius lost himself. Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius quickly leapt to his feet to take the pile Clara had in her arms.

"You're carrying these all by yourself with no help?" Sirius asked her with excessive concern. The poor girl, Remus noted, was completely oblivious to his flirting. He liked Clara as a good friend; he had a hard time picturing Sirius and her together.

"Aaron should have more sense to help you," Sirius blabbered on.

"Really, Sirius, it's nothing. Thank you for the concern, though." She smiled sweetly. Sirius completely glazed over; Remus rolled his eyes.

"Er… er… what are you doing tonight, Clara? There's a small local band playing at The Three Broomsticks tonight. Would you like to join me there?" Sirius' eyes were wide and pleading.

"That sounds fun," Clara said. Remus raised his brows.

"Fantastic! I'll pick you up at seven, then?" Sirius said enthusiastically.

"Alright, I'll see you then. Goodbye, goodbye Remus!"

Remus waved as she practically bounced out of the office. Sirius was beside himself with glee, hardly able to sit still as he sat back down to sort out what Clara had handed over. Remus couldn't help but grin a little; happy for the small, shy girl that never really attracted an eye. She was certainly not someone he expected Sirius to be tickled pink over, especially after seeing some of the women he was drooling over that had walked past earlier. Apparently, the date that Sirius had had with her the day Emily was murdered went well enough that she could stand him.

"Don't forget," Sirius said suddenly as Remus turned to go back to work. "Tomorrow night we have a date."

Remus' grin disappeared.

Churo was not happy at all with the news Remus told him about not being with the Pack for that full moon. The others accepted it, however, as just something not to be surprised about with a rogue. Puck smirked, looking between Remus and Alpha as if trying to prove a point. Alpha simply shrugged, telling him to stay out of trouble. What bothered Remus most, however, was that Beta was no where to be seen.

"She's been gone all day," Churo said, still upset. He looked at Remus squarely, disappointment written clearly across his face.

"Honestly, Churo, I can't help it. My job as a wizard requires me not to miss tomorrow night," Remus tried to explain without telling the truth. To his surprise, it hurt just as badly to lie to the Pack as it did lying to his friends.

"And what does the Ministry have to do with a werewolf? I was unaware they accepted our kind as allies, these days."

That caught Remus off guard. He couldn't answer that.

"I can't help it, I'm sorry." It was all he could manage.

"Aye, I'm sorry too," Churo muttered, and he walked away.

There was nothing left for him to do at the Den, so Remus put his cloak back on as he prepared to leave. A shadow caught his eye and he could see Alpha watching him from a table, leaning back in his folding chair and tipping it on it's back legs.

"The old man's not happy with you, Rogue," Alpha said loudly. Thistle and Ice, who were sitting across the room looking over some paperwork, turned their heads to listen.

Remus glanced at them before looking back at Alpha and shrugged.

"I can't help that. I'm sorry, truly I am."

"Funny, though," Alpha said, getting up to face him. "He's always unhappy with us, but he's never sorry."

Remus didn't know what to say, feeling sweat beginning to break out on his forehead. He cursed himself for being so easily intimidated, averting his eyes. Where his eyes fell, however, caught his interest immediately. Alpha's right arm was all black and blue.

"What happened to your arm?" he asked bluntly.

Alpha quickly glanced at his arm, his eyes looking uncertain for a moment. Then his steely gaze returned, shrugging indifferently.

"Something that won't happen again," he said coolly.

Remus looked up at his face then, and the message he could read from Alpha's eyes clearly put a stop to any further questions. Nodding slowly, shrugging to show indifference, Remus put on his scarf and turned to go up the stairs.

"Should you see Beta," Alpha called to him. "Tell her it'd be wise to return home."

Remus paused a moment, not looking back. When he moved again, feeling Alpha's bearing gaze subside, a thought occurred to him.

If I do see her, he thought. I'd tell her it'd be wise not to.

Leaving the run-down shack that hid the entrance to the Den, Remus stood in the snow and looked around him. Not a soul could be seen, only the silent white of winter as it blanketed the earth. He let out a long sigh, watching the vapor of his breath linger for moments in front of his eyes. Then he disapparated, the loud POP reverberating for a moment in the empty air.

In the four months since he had moved in, Remus had never felt lonely in his cottage. He preferred to be alone with his thoughts those days, feeling himself reluctantly pulling away from his friends. It was for the best, he told himself bitterly. Looking at a calendar he had hanging in his tiny kitchen, however, made a tiny sliver of excitement run through his veins. It had been months since he and his friends had transformed together and went on an adventure. While the last moon they did so did not turn out so well, the memories of their days at Hogwarts was still fresh in Remus' mind.

The excitement did not last long, as he continued to look at the calendar and stare at the Thursday he had circled. He reminded himself of what he had told Sirius and the others before, what James had said. They lived in the real world now, and their days at Hogwarts were over. Things would never be the same again.

Remus poured himself some tea, adding a teaspoon of sugar and dropping in a lemon slice. He was about to put the kettle in the sink when he heard a knock at his door.

Lily was waving through the front window, and, smiling, Remus hurried to let her in out of the cold.

"Oh, thank you! It's so cold outside I felt like I was turning into an ice cube." She smiled, her cheeks rosy with chill, as Remus took her coat and scarf from her.

"What brings you out to the middle of my nowhere, Lily?" Remus asked, grinning. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"James meant to come himself, but I'm afraid he's come down with a head cold. The idiot stood outside in the snow too long last night, fixing some of the warding spells that have weakened due to the weather." Lily shook off the flurries of snow stuck to her long red hair, following Remus to the kitchen as he drew out a clean mug for her.

"Is he alright?" Remus asked, concerned. He refilled the kettle and set it to boil. Lily sat down at the table, warming her hands on Remus' mug.

"Oh, yeah, the big baby. 'Lil-lee, my head hurts! Lil-lee, sing me a song. Lil-lee, I'm bored!' Honestly!"

Remus laughed, sitting down. "Sure it's wise to leave him alone?"

"It's the house-elves' turn to sing to him, now. Besides, like I said, he meant to come, but he sent me instead." She held up her hand for him to stay put when the kettle began to whistle, getting up to pour her tea.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong. He wants to ask you something, that's all," she said. She put some honey and sugar in her tea, and settled herself back down in the chair across from Remus.

"Oh?" His heart began to beat faster. Ask him what?

"I'm not sure why he won't wait until he's better, it's really not that urgent, but he insisted. James would like you to be one of his groomsmen."

Relief washed over Remus like a tidal wave. He sat back in his chair, chuckling beside himself.

"Need he ask? Of course, it would be an honor."

Lily's smile seemed to warm the cottage further. "I don't even see why he'd worry."

Remus looked at her, cocking his head slightly. "Worry? Worry that I would say no?"

Her eyes widened slightly, as if realizing she said something she shouldn't have. Quickly she shook her head, her smile unwavering.

"You know him. He's more excited than a child at the Quidditch Cup. He wants everything to be perfect, and I'm no exception. It's just formalities, you know. James is very traditional."

"But you are worried," Remus said softly, looking down at his mug. "I haven't been very social lately."

"Oh, come off it," Lily said sharply. "We're all working our tails off, it's a miracle we have enough time to breathe, let alone go out for a drink. James and I understand, Sirius told us about Dumbledore singling you out."

"He did?" Remus tried not to look frightened. How much did his friends suspect?

Lily nodded. "We realize you can't tell us about what you're doing, not in detail, anyway. Really, it's us that we're upset about. James and the others haven't had the time to be with you when you need them most, if you know what I mean."

"I already told Sirius about that," Remus said firmly, sitting up straight. "Everything is under control."

Lily opened her mouth to say something, then seemed to change her mind. Instead she shrugged, stirring her tea a little.

Desperate to change the subject, Remus took a breath and made his smile return.

"How's that project you're working on coming along?" he asked.

Lily sighed, stirring her tea idly. "Becoming increasingly difficult, but successful nonetheless. We've captured several Death Eaters since we started. However, James and I seem to be hated more than the others. Whenever we go on an ambush, we're attacked the most fiercely."

"Well, that's not all that surprising," Remus said. "You two are the ones responsible for breaking their brilliant plans of Dark purposes."

"Yeah," Lily laughed.

For nearly an hour, Remus and Lily continued to talk and catch up. The small pendulum clock in the sitting room chimed the hour, and Lily got up to clean her empty mug.

"I better get going, I promised James I wouldn't be too long," she said. "Promise me you won't talk Sirius out of joining you tomorrow. I mean it now, Remus."

"Yes," he said resolutely. He only hoped the wolf inside of him would comply, and that the Pack would stay away.

Remus helped her put on her coat and scarf. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek, making him go red.

"Also promise me you won't stay a bachelor forever," she said with good humor. "You're too good a person to be alone like this. Sirius, though, his job is being a bachelor."

"That much I can't promise. James lucked out on finding the only girl in this world worth loving," he said genuinely. It was Lily's turn to blush.

"You'll know her, Remus. The girl you fall in love with will be the one who speaks to your heart, and that's a language only one other can know beside yourself."

"I'll be sure to listen, then."

"Good," Lily said, allowing Remus to open the door. "Take care, Remus."

"Good night." Remus watched her step out into the snow, just beyond where he knew the warding charms ended, and she disapparated. He went back to the kitchen, pouring himself a last mug of tea before bed, when he heard a knock on his door again. Figuring Lily had forgotten something, he went and opened the door.

"Beta?"

Beta stood shivering on his doorstep, her hair wet from the snow. She was wearing only a long sleeved pink shirt and jeans, her skin as white as the snow itself. Without a word, Remus pulled her inside and led her to his armchair. He grabbed the first thing he could, which were his wizarding robes that was hanging on a peg by the door, and threw it around her, fastening the button at the collar.

"What's happened?" he asked, completely in shock. He went to feed the fire and re-light the candles. All the while Beta said nothing. Remus grabbed the mug of tea he had been preparing for himself and handed it to her, watching as she drank it slowly, uncertainly.

As he watched, Remus looked back at his door. How had Beta gotten through the warding charms? Her name was not one of the ones he had stated would be allowed to enter past the barrier. She must've slipped through when Lily was leaving, or even figured out the charm herself. She was a witch, after all. Besides, how had she gotten in the first time? He hadn't thought about it then, which surprised him further.

Beta finished the tea quickly, some color returning to her face. She drew Remus' robe closer about her, averting her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked her quietly. She merely nodded. Her left hand caught the light a moment before she tucked it into the folds of his robe. Remus noticed that her wrist was swollen.

"No… you're not alright. It was Alpha, wasn't it?"

"Nothing I haven't dealt with before," she said huskily.

"And yet you came here," he said simply. Beta said nothing more. It was clear he wasn't going to get any details out of her any time soon, so he got up, went to his bedroom, and brought back a pillow and a thick blanket.

"Stay here for the night." He retrieved his wand and conjured a mattress complete with bedding on the floor. "We'll talk in the morning."

Not waiting to see if she accepted the hospice he offered, Remus went into his bedroom and closed the door. The feelings that had suddenly leapt into his consciousness were nearly frightening. When he first saw Beta on his doorstep, all wet and shivering, he was deeply distraught for her. When he saw her swollen wrist, the anger he felt toward Alpha soared. And even more confusing was his desire to hold her, comfort her, run out and wring Alpha's throat.

Remus made up his mind and opened the place in his wall that led to his secret room. Ignoring the drop in temperature, he lit a single candle and sat cross-legged in front of the rosette window. He had given the small alcove a thorough cleaning and the brilliance of the near-full moon showed clearly through the glass. Closing his eyes, Remus began what had become a ritual of purging all his thoughts to the world.

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there, when there was suddenly something soft and warm coming to nestle beside him. Startled, Remus twisted around to see Beta calmly sitting on the floor, only inches away.

"We'll talk now," she whispered.

Speechless, Remus merely stared at her. Her long bangs had fallen aside so that he could see her eyes, darkened by more than the lack of light. She looked very pale, hugging herself against the cold while still wearing his wizarding robe.

"Do you see what I see?" she asked, her voice still a whisper.

"No," Remus muttered softly. "What?"

She cocked her head to the side, staring at the window.

"I see loneliness, and I see pain. I see it everyday. In others, in myself."

Remus said nothing, unsure what to say.

"I don't want to be alone," her voice barely audible. "And I'm tired of pain."

"So am I," Remus said, looking where she was looking.

An owl hooted, and Remus ignored its calls. The mail could wait, or, he thought a moment later, it could be wild- searching for a meal. As awkward as it was, sitting so close to Beta and having her so open, Remus felt happy. This only confused him further.

"Why don't you leave the Pack, Beta?" he asked suddenly. "It's not right what Alpha is doing to you, and the others have done- will not, do anything."

"I don't need to leave," she whispered, shaking her head slightly.

Remus looked at her, exasperated. "Why?"

She looked at him as if the answer was so simple. "Because you're here."

Even in the dark, Remus knew his face had gone completely red. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. What feelings she has made him feel! Never before has a girl had such an effect on him.

"What difference do I make? Alpha is the leader, not me," he said.

Beta shifted her feet, her hand coming within a hair's width from his.

"Alpha is a fool, naïve, completely ignorant of what's going on. He lacks the skills to completely protect us. While the attack on Churo disturbed him greatly, still he won't do anything. He's all talk and no walk."

"And what makes you think I'll make a better leader?" Remus asked her quietly.

She lowered her gaze to the floor and sighed. It was a moment before she spoke, "Because you're a better person."

Remus looked at her closely. Her hair was so long and wild, its color a mixture of brown and gold so soft, he longed to touch it. Startled by this yearning, he stiffened his back straight, keeping his hands clasped on his folded legs.

"What makes you think so?" he asked, his tone dark. He was a liar, a traitor. In his opinion, this made him a horrible person.

"Why do you keep doubting what I tell you?" she suddenly snapped, sounding more like her normal self so much that his lips threatened to smile. "Can't you accept what the truth is?"

"The truth scares me," Remus whispered, more to himself, looking away.

"Then you haven't accepted the truth," she said. However, her tone was not condescending. They sat there for several minutes, listening to the night sounds of the forest around the cottage. Remus dared to look at Beta, and she was looking toward the floor in his direction at nothing in particular. She was deep in thought, he gathered.

"This is a special place for you, is it not?" she asked suddenly.

Remus hesitated a moment; never did he expect any other than himself to find his secret alcove. He was too surprised than angry when he found her there beside him to say anything before. When she looked at his face, he nodded.

"Yes."

"A place for you to be alone?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," she said quickly.

"What for?" Remus looked at her intently. She stared back at him, and for the first time their eyes truly locked. Remus could see the depth of her aqua colored eyes, and something in his heart stirred. It was as if a key had opened a doorway, and what he witnessed in her was something no words could describe. Then, as quickly as it happened, she broke the connection, looking at his lips.

"You're a rogue," she said softly. "I broke a law trespassing in your private space."

Remus relaxed, shaking his head with a gentle smile. "I'm not a rogue by choice. Knowing that you're safe… here… is fine with me."

And she smiled a smile so genuine, it could have broke his heart a thousand times over. There was so much trust in her eyes that he knew that one day that trust would be gone, and she would be lost to him forever.

Then she suddenly leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder. She put her hand on his knee, wrapping the robe of his that she wore around herself over her bare feet. His eyes went wide in shock, feeling his heart race. However, after a moment, her gradually warming body against his, it felt… right, somehow. He looked down at her head, seeing the pale candlelight dancing atop her brown hair, and Remus smiled. His secret alcove would stay secret, and he knew that she was safest here. Without realizing it, Remus rested his head on top of hers, and within a few minutes, both of them were asleep.

"Moony? Hey, Moony! You up?"

Remus woke with a start. He instantly froze, for he had absolutely no idea where he was. Looking over, Beta was lying beside him on the floor, nestled closely next to him and on top of his arm. He was dreadfully cold, wearing nothing but his sweater vest and collared shirt with his slacks. The candle had long gone out, and sunlight was streaming in through the rosette window. Again he heard a voice from downstairs.

"Moony!"

Sirius! Oh, God, what am I going to do? Remus thought, still unmoving for fear of waking Beta. She looked so peaceful, and, to his further surprise, he didn't want to move. However, when he heard Sirius moving around inside down in the kitchen, be bit his lip and forced himself to slowly get up and move his arm from under Beta. She stirred, and he cursed himself when she woke up.

Quickly, he put a finger to his mouth to emphasize silence. Listening, they could still hear Sirius moving around below them. She nodded and quietly sat up, pointing for him to go downstairs and she'd stay in the alcove. Smiling, Remus nodded and quietly tiptoed down the stairs and closed the hidden door. Then, ruffling up his bedcovers, he opened his bedroom door and was instantly hit with the smell of bacon and sausage.

"Well, glad you could join the living!" Sirius exclaimed when he saw him, poised over the small stove with the frying pan. "I notified the office and we've got today and tomorrow for personal sick leave. Sent it straight to Dumbledore, so no worries."

"Er…" Remus stuttered, nervously looking back at his bedroom and then at Sirius again.

"Plus," Sirius continued without noticing Remus' hesitation. "I have a surprise for you today. We're gonna take a little trip, first, but not until we eat. No excuses!"

Without further ado, Sirius grabbed Remus' shoulder and shoved him down into a chair at the kitchen table. His plate was then piled high with greasy, overcooked sausage and burnt bacon. Remus attempted a smile, but all that came out was a crooked grimace.

"Unlike Peter," Sirius said airily. "I did not take cooking lessons. Eat it anyway."

Picking up his fork, watching distantly as Sirius began to dig into his own plate, Remus could think nothing but how to get Beta out of the cottage. She had no formal magical education, and most likely could not disapparate herself. He would have to distract Sirius long enough to bring Beta downstairs and outside… but how?

After a couple minutes, Remus noticed Sirius was staring at him.

"I had no idea that overcooked food sent you into deep moments of meditation, Moony."

"Must be the aroma," Remus muttered, tentatively taking a bite of bacon.

"Well, if it's that bad," Sirius said suddenly. "Then I might as well order some take-out from Hogsmeade or something."

Remus could not have been more relieved, and it showed clearly on his face. Sirius scowled, grabbing Remus' plate with a putout look.

"You try to do something nice," he muttered.

"You did suggest it, not me," Remus countered, silently rejoicing in his mind. With Sirius out to order food, that would be enough time for Remus to get Beta away safely without being seen.

"I have had a craving for ginger-spiced waffles that you can only get at The Three Broomsticks. Maybe if I work my charms I can get them to cook some up special for me. You'll just have to settle for whatever I can get you," Sirius said, wiping his hands. "Do get dressed while I'm gone, will you? The whole, 'day-old clothes' look just doesn't work."

Remus looked down at his wrinkled clothing, while Sirius chuckled softly and put on his cloak.

"I'm surprised at you, Moony. A year ago you would never be seen wearing something with so much as a crease." He was still chuckling when he walked out the door, disapparating just outside the warding charms.

Remus leapt to his feet and ran to his bedroom door, only to open it and find Beta staring right back at him.

"I dunno," she said with a crooked smile. "I kinda like the disheveled look on you."

He blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, yeah?"

A moment of silence brought a funny feeling into his gut, as they stood there, inches from the other. They stared, and slowly Beta's face began to become bigger and bigger in Remus' vision. Inches became centimeters, and unconsciously he closed his eyes, feeling her come closer and closer. Then suddenly, both of them pulled back as if they had just been shocked.

"I need to go… before he gets back," Beta said quickly, pushing past him.

"Er… yes, you're right." Remus followed her to the door.

"I take it you won't run with us tonight," she said indifferently, standing by the door.

Remus felt his throat close up. "Yes," he managed to say.

"You're part of the Pack, you know." Her cold stare was back. Remus began to sweat under her glare, which was somewhat more intense than ever before.

"I can't get out of it this time." He paused for a moment, then looked at her. She told him a part about her past, it was only fair she tell her part of his. "My friends always stayed with me when I transformed as a kid. We're real close, and so far I've managed to have them busy at this time of the month. They don't know about the Pack, and I'm not sure I want them to know."

Beta opened her mouth to say something, but stopped and shook her head. She took a deep breath and did not look at him; instead she looked at the floor.

"Do you want to stay a rogue forever?" she whispered.

Remus looked at her. "No, but wherever I choose to run to, I'll run towards the Light… not the Dark."

"I don't understand why…" Beta began impatiently, stopping herself.

"I don't understand, either."

She turned around and opened the door, a blast of cold air charging into the cottage. Beta was still wearing Remus' wizarding robe, and she stopped when she realized it. Slowly she took it off, handing it to Remus. When she turned to go out, he grabbed her hand quickly.

"If he… if Alpha… You can come back," he said haltingly.

"I wouldn't have to, if you were there," she said quietly. Then she walked out, stepping out into the snow and starting a quick pace that took her out of sight quickly amongst the trees. Not more than a minute later, Sirius apparated back, holding a large steaming bag and grinning up at Remus- whom still had not changed his wrinkled clothing.

"What's the matter?" Sirius asked him as he walked up the steps, taking in Remus' expression. "You look like someone just cancelled Christmas."

Remus didn't answer him, and something on his face told Sirius not to ask further. The smell of good food hit Remus' nose, and he forced himself to smile.

"Let's eat, then. We've got a long night ahead of us."

Author's Note: Well then, I've finally got this up! As most of you may already know, I got a summer job- as well as a class at summer school. This has really cut into my writing time, so my endeavor to finish this fic before the end of the summer may or may not succeed. I encourage you (should you ever become curious) to visit http://orcapotter.tripod.com/index.html (Lumos) and make use of The W.R.P. (The World of Renee Potter) News Room. I update it whenever I have major or minor news. Another option is to join my mailing list.

So, as far as chapter 12 is concerned, sometime in mid-June is probably when you'll see it. Never believe me, though- it could be sooner or later.

Many thanks to those who have reviewed… and those who continue to review… and those people who think about reviewing but never do but read anyway. This is the chance for the latter to add their two cents- now more than ever before do I need feedback. It determines just how fast I need to get the chapters done ~_^ Also, special thanks to my betas- especially Tenacious Muse for coming in and doing a fantastic job (I'll have the Beta page at Lumos updated soon, I promise).

Until later, my friends… "Works in progress do more than works completed." Muheheh.

~OrcaPotter

OrcaMorph@aol.com