Chapter Twelve
The Dragon's Double
The moon was like a beacon on the horizon, casting shadows on the long grass. He crouched down low, ears flattened, and tail held still. The wind blew, making the grass and leaves on the trees rustle like falling rain and his fur ruffle. It only made his quarry's scent stronger, telling him what was right in front of him.
Ha, I see you.
Suddenly he sprung from the grass, a huge mass of claws and fur, and before he even landed he made a growl of mock disappointment. The patch of ground that was flattened by the large black dog was empty. The dog grinned at the werewolf rogue with his eyes seemingly glowing in the moonlight a yard away, his breath creating billows of clouds in the chilly air.
I could see you coming from a mile away. The black dog barked and danced around the huge wolf like a month-old puppy.
Without warning, the rogue broke into a chase, sending the dog bounding loudly into the woods. The rogue kept up just enough to merely nip at his heels, happily engrossed in their nighttime folly. For the entire night the two canines had wandered around territory unknown to them, being far from places they had traveled before. While it was what the rogue preferred, he knew that there really was someplace else he needed to be.
Not for the first time that night, the rogue stopped suddenly and stared up at the sky. He followed the stars toward the direction of the pack he had joined. If he stayed away too long, his position in the pack would slide, and his path to becoming alpha would grow more difficult. While he never stayed with the pack too long, even during runs, he would return… and watch. Forgetting his game again, the rogue began to wander toward his territory.
The black dog had stopped, and now ran up to block the rogue's path.
The game is better here, his eyes said.
The rogue bore his teeth. I tire of this game.
There was a sudden sound behind them. Both the rogue and the dog whirled around with their hackles raised and growling to face a large and magnificent stag.
Let me play the game, then. The stag lowered his fine set of antlers and charged, completely taking the canines off-guard. Tails between their legs, they scattered while the stag made chase. After a moment the rogue recognized this stag and soon the game had started again with each animal challenging the other.
Suddenly, the stag stopped, and the rogue paused to see a small furry shape clinging desperately to his antlers. The rogue recognized the creature as the rat he knew and laughed mentally when the stag shook the rodent off. Still feeling decidedly playful, the rogue pounced on the rat's tail, causing the creature to shriek.
Don't step on me, you furry monster!
The rogue grinned. I'll eat you then. He opened his jaws wide and made to grab the rat, but he had wriggled free and was now clambering onto the back of the dog.
Where shall we run? The stag reared excitedly.
To the end of the earth and back again! The rogue broke into a run, and all four animals nearly flew over the fields and meadows. They stayed clear of villages and towns, and only when the moon began to set did they move back home. As they drew closer to his territory, however, the rogue began to feel a tugging at his heart. That feeling of being back with the Pack grew in earnest, and he began to long to be back with the alpha female and howl with the ancient song that the werewolves knew so well. The other animals seemed to sense his distracted mind, and paused beside him.
Hungry? The black dog stared at him pointedly with his deep eyes.
Hope not. Laughter danced in the stag's gaze.
Blinking, hoping it would clear his muddled feelings, the rogue shook his great head and moved onward. The stag and the dog, with the rat still clinging to his fur, followed suit.
When he opened his eyes, Remus felt the aftereffects of his transformation fall upon him like an anvil. He was also freezing to the point where he couldn't move, and he looked up to see Sirius, James, and Peter gazing understandingly down at him. They had managed to put most of his clothes on while he was unconscious and were now pulling him up so that they could slip his coat around his shoulders.
"I-I didn't k-know you were c-coming, James… P-Peter…" Remus managed to say through his chattering teeth. His clothes were already soaked from the snow, and his friends managed to get him on his feet.
"Surprise!" James grinned genially at him. "Managed to get work done early, and grabbed Wormtail before he could find something else to busy himself with for an excuse."
"I've wanted to come for a long time, you know that!" Peter looked at James with a slightly indignant look. "I'm glad I got to, though."
"Where's Lily?" Sirius asked James as they both got on either side of Remus and stood close in case he needed to be steadied while they walked out of the woods.
"At home… planning some things for the wedding."
"Have you figured out where to hold the ceremony?" Peter asked.
"Well," James sighed. Remus noticed a tone in his voice that indicated that this was a subject much deliberated. "I would like to have it in the church at Hogsmeade. It's where my parents got married and I'm partial to tradition. Lily, on the other hand, would like something less traditional and would rather have it done in a garden somewhere or at the shore."
"What do you think about that?" Remus asked him, indicating politely to the others that he was fine as they reached a rural roadway that led to the nearest town. He was too weak, though, to disapparate just yet.
James glanced at him, Sirius, and Peter before answering. "There are many other reasons to have the ceremony at the church. Obvious ones, which I wish she would come to terms with. It only makes things harder, and makes me really think about what I'm getting her into."
"What do you mean? What are you getting her into?" Peter asked.
"Honestly, Wormtail, do you have a brain?" Sirius turned to him, exasperated. "You were there when he explained what was in his parents' vault."
"Oh, lay off him, Padfoot," Remus muttered, giving him a stern look. Sirius frowned but grumbled a quiet, yet sincere, apology.
"But I thought you didn't believe in that, James," Peter said softly.
James didn't say anything for a few minutes, and Remus looked at his face. His eyes were dark, which was unsettling to Remus. It was a look of deep worry, close to what Remus had seen in James' expression when Remus announced he was moving out. He had thought that James had cast that prophecy aside, locked in his desk at his large estate. For a time, Remus had forgotten about it and thought James had done the same. Obviously, something more was going on than what Remus was aware of.
"Are you up to disapparating yet, Moony?" James asked, his tone back to his cheery self. "Best be off now, before we reach any homes. Don't want to arouse suspicion."
Making a mental note to visit James and Lily later, alone, Remus nodded. They each disapparated without a further word.
Remus carefully avoided returning to the Den immediately after the full moon. For the first time, he felt guilty for not being with the Pack on that night. Beta had planted some strange feelings in Remus, it seemed, and he grew more confused every time he thought back to what happened in his secret alcove.
Instead, Remus focused on figuring out what was troubling James. He saw less and less of him and Lily at the Ministry, as they were constantly out battling Voldemort's growing regiment of followers. Sirius was starting to become concerned, and nearly frustrated that James wouldn't tell him much about anything. Peter was gone a lot too, joining the Longbottoms out with their assignments.
"Do… do ya think that maybe… they're having problems?" Sirius asked Remus quietly when they were filling out forms in their small office.
Remus turned to him slightly. "What do you mean?"
"You know," Sirius said solemnly. "Their relationship."
Remus thought a moment before shaking his head slightly. "No, I don't think so. James and Lily? They're inseparable! No, I think it has something to do with the job. With the you know what."
"That's rubbish, though." Sirius frowned.
"Maybe," Remus said thoughtfully. "But I believe there's more to it than James is telling us. Something's happening and he's frightened. He's worried about Lily, I can see it in his eyes."
"I wish he'd tell us. He knows I'd do anything for him and Lily, he knows that!" Sirius said, turning back to his work.
"We need to take him out. Then we'll confront him," Remus said.
"Take him out?" Sirius asked, shocked. "Why, Remus! Are you suggesting we should engage in such a social activity as going out? As in, a pub? Do you mean we should get Prongs good and drunk so that he'll be so out of it that he'll answer anything we ask?"
Remus turned and glared at him. "Don't be ridiculous! You'll get him drunk, I'll ask him the questions. Heaven forbid you should ask him something that Lily would kill him over for telling."
Sirius turned to look back at him. "Your lack of trust in me is great on my self-esteem."
"I love you, Padfoot." Remus grinned stupidly at him before having an inkbottle chucked squarely to his face.
"Sometimes you shock me, Moony," Sirius said, grinning back mischievously.
"I shock myself, really," Remus laughed.
As a matter of fact, Remus continued to be in a state of shock at himself when he and Sirius managed to convince James to come out of his house that evening. Lily thought it was a great idea, however, since she needed to make alterations to her wedding gown and the brides maids' dresses.
"Honestly, James!" Lily piqued when he continued to insist that he should stay. "You know you want to. Besides, you hate it when Alissa and Mika come over. Not to mention Ash gets on your nerves every time she tries to criticize your flying skills."
Remus couldn't help but chuckle as he saw the torn look on James' face. Clearly he agreed with Lily, but was too worried to leave her alone in the house. It made it even more vital that Remus and Sirius found out what was bothering him, since it was quite uncharacteristic for him to turn down at night on the town. Besides, the fact that Lily's closest friends were coming over meant she really wasn't alone.
"Sure you don't want to stay yourself?" Sirius whispered in his ear as they jovially watched Lily force a coat on James. "I'm sure Mika would be happy to see you."
Remus couldn't stop the blush from rising on his cheeks. Mika, a Ravenclaw their age who was close friends with Lily, admitted to Remus in their sixth year that she had a crush on him. He had to admit he liked her as well, but was too shy to say or do anything. Clearly Mika did not let that stop her, and one day she had pulled him into an empty classroom and kissed him. It was a memory he still liked to go back to, but it still hurt that during their seventh year when he sensed things might go further between them that he told her that they couldn't be anything more than friends. If she had found out his secret, who knows? Mika was angry, but after a while accepted what he told her and they continued to be friends. That didn't mean, however, that he wanted to continue going out together. It felt awkward, so he was just as glad to go that night.
"C'mon you big git," Sirius said, grabbing James by the shoulders and shoving him out the door. "We're gonna party 'till they kick us out!"
"Again?" Remus groaned, remembering the last time they had been literally kicked out of a pub.
"Please don't get too drunk," Lily said severely from the door as they walked out to the road where Sirius' motorcycle waited. "I'd much prefer at least one of you to be the designated driver of that thing, and I don't want anymore owls from the Department of Excessive and Unethical Drinking asking me to come and pick up my brothers!"
"I wasn't drunk!" Remus pointed out loudly. "They locked me up because these two and Peter said that I was and that I had a sober spell on me to cover it up! Which, by the way, such a spell does not exist, which I pointed out to that stupid department."
"Quit whining, Moony," Sirius growled, smiling sweetly back at Lily. "Don't worry Lil, we'll take good care of your boy."
"Remember, Lily. Don't let anyone else but the girls in and make sure the charms are still strong." James looked at her directly with a rare severe expression.
She nodded and waved them off impatiently. Sirius and Remus urged James on and they managed to get him away and on the motorcycle. While it was obvious the three of them couldn't all fit on the bike (which Remus was all too thrilled about) Sirius opted for a solution. Much to Remus' dismay, a wave of Sirius' wand magically expanded the bike seat, allowing plenty of room for the three of them.
Just what happened between them getting on the bike and then landing in a safe location near a small pub for wizards on the outskirts of London was all a blur to Remus. His head was embedded in James' back as they flew at ridiculous speeds over what felt like the whole of Britain. James had to help steady him as he slid off the bike and wobbled uncertainly on his feet. Sirius merely laughed himself hoarse.
The Dragon's Double was a small pub known to supply some of the oddest Muggles and most rugged wizards with the strongest liquor. Hidden off the side of a dirt road covered with ancient trees, the squat building was older than what everyone claimed it to be. Remus and the others had happened upon the place two years ago, having heard of it from an older student while searching for the perfect place to try out their aging potions. They made friends with the pub's owner, an old, grizzly wizard who had forgotten just about every spell other than what was needed to keep the place running. Named Old Joe, he was a stickler for breaking rules himself, and had no qualms about giving Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter a taste of what a rebel life had to offer.
Of course, no one aside from themselves knew of the place. Not even Lily, for James would hang himself before telling her about it. Sirius decided it was perfect for another visit, for just one shot of the pub's infamous Fairies Tears would be enough to get James to spill every secret and them some. Unaware of the secret plan his friends had in store, James too readily agreed to see Old Joe.
They were used to the stares, as what they usually got when they stepped inside the door. It smelled strongly of cigarettes and strong liquor, with old western saloon music playing faintly from a corner jukebox. Each man inside was of undeterminable origin, be them wizard or Muggle. After a few moments the blank and criticizing glares from each of their faces would return to their filled mugs and drunken chatter. Quickly, Sirius led the way to the table they usually occupied in a private corner of the pub.
"Remember when we first walked in?" James laughed, looking around brightly as if he had just stepped into an amusement park. "I nearly wet myself at the sight."
Sirius and James looked at Remus with a controlled expression, clearly on the verge of laughter. Remus looked away, blushing furiously. He really didn't want to remember that.
A really skimpy-dressed woman with impossibly large hair and a lipstick-covered cigarette hanging perilously from her mouth appeared at their table with a sarcastic gaze.
"Sorry, boys. We don' 'ave apple juice on tap," she said icily.
Sirius did not let the woman deter him and both James and Remus grinned at each other as they watched Sirius turn on his most flattering smile.
"My dear lady," he said with his most charming voice. "We are good acquaintances with Old Joe. Perhaps you could let him know that his 'little friends' are here?"
Remus tried real hard not to snicker as the waitress regarded Sirius with an impassive stare. "'An my little toe is the Queen Mother."
James couldn't help it. He hid his face behind his hands and chuckled violently at Sirius' expression, which had fallen with pathetic disbelief. Remus tried hard to keep his voice steady as he turned to the waitress.
"I-I'm sorry, ma'am. We're just here to see Old Joe. Is it p-possible for him to give us a minute?" His face was red from suppressed laughter.
With an impatient sigh, the waitress threw down her order pad and disappeared. All three of them finally let it loose. They laughed until their eyes were red from tears and several more blank and haughty stares were sent in their direction.
"Honestly, Padfoot!" James cried. "'My lady'? What century are you from?"
"It's classic! Girls fall for it all the time, the whole proper chivalry nonsense," Sirius exclaimed.
"I rather like her reaction," Remus laughed.
"Yeah, and I bet she treats her feet as royalty," James said.
"I'd prefer not to think about what her feet look like, actually," Sirius grumbled, grinning like mad.
"W'us this 'bout three babes in my pub?" thundered a voice.
All three of them jumped to realize that Old Joe had appeared at their table. A large, fat, and grizzly man with his mouth full of cigar, Old Joe stood leering at them with his matted brown hair mingled with sweat that seemed to pour like a fountain on their table. Sirius beamed.
"Hey, Old Joe! Remember us?
Old Joe scrutinized each of their faces before a slight grin managed to become visible between his chubby wet cheeks.
"Aye, 'ben a while, 'as it? Graduates now, eh?" He exhaled a cloud of smoke that made Remus turn green and feel sick.
"Nearly a year now," James said, smiling but with a disgusted crinkle in his eyes. "Getting myself married come May."
"Are yeh now?" Old Joe gave him a studious eye. "Bet yeh want to celebrate."
"Indeed we do!" Sirius said excitedly before James could answer.
"Have anything… special?" Remus asked tentatively.
"Special?" Old Joe looked at him squarely. "Depends on what yeh call 'special'. How 'special' yeh wan' it?"
"We're men now, Old Joe!" Sirius said impressively. "Give us your best."
Old Joe looked at him with a narrowed expression that made Sirius nearly sink in his chair.
"Men now my butt." He puffed his cigar. "Yeh're still a lad, all of yeh. I'll give yeh summut, but I won' be responsible."
Remus frowned as he saw the mischievous expressions cross James' and Sirius' faces.
"Don't worry, Old Joe. We're covered."
Remus wrought his fingers as he watched Old Joe smirk and walk back to the bar. He rounded on his friends as they grinned excitedly.
"Let's not get carried away. What if we're found? You know, as Ministry employees, we shouldn't be doing this."
Sirius looked at him, his expression rapidly becoming annoyed.
"Whose idea was this, Remus?"
Good point, Remus thought, biting his lip as Sirius nodded. Perhaps now my rational mind has caught up with my reckless one. Well, who said I didn't know how to have fun?
"It's my job to remind us all of the irresponsible decisions and actions we make. Now that I've done my part, you can pass me my drink and I will proceed to loose all cognitive thought with the two of you, as always."
"Here, here!" James and Sirius cried joyously, even more so when the same waitress from before arrived with three small glasses and a dark, unlabeled flask. She eyed them each as she set a glass in front of them.
"Let it be known to yehs that we're not responsible for damages or stolen property as result of your intoxication in reference to yehselves, others, animals, 'an inanimate objects. Drive responsibly and please refrain from pass'n out in the walkways." She poured a few ounces of the unlabeled liquor in their glasses as they stared at her. "Good luck."
Without further ado, she turned on her heels and left to go tend another table. Remus, Sirius, and James looked down in union at the dark, swirling liquid in their shots.
"Uhm, Padfoot?" James asked, cocking his head as he tapped his glass. "Is this what they call Fairies Tears?"
"Would help if she had told us what we were drinking instead of giving us the disclaimers," Sirius muttered.
"Taste it, Padfoot," Remus suggested.
"No, you do it, Prongs." Sirius looked at James.
"Nuh uh, you."
"You're the one who ordered it, you do it."
"No way! You ordered it! You take the first sip!"
"Guys…" Remus interjected.
"Oh, no, you're gonna do it." Sirius folded his arms.
"No I'm not." James leered at him.
"Guys… why don't-"
"Stop being a sissy and just take a sip already!"
"You're the expert, you do it!"
"GUYS!" Remus slammed his fists on the table, making them jump and stare at him. "Why don't I go up and ask Old Joe what it is he gave us so that the fear of falling on the floor in a fetal position and foaming at the mouth is not as much a risk as becoming hopelessly drunk, as you two expect?"
"Good idea, Moony!" James and Sirius said in union.
Rolling his eyes and grabbing his shot glass, Remus got up and threaded his way among the tables to the bar. Some scattered customers were sitting on the stools, hunched over the bar so that each person looked nearly indistinguishable from the other except in size and height. Remus swallowed nervously, trying not to disturb any of them so as not to risk an unnecessary pub brawl. He caught sight of the waitress taking dirty glasses into the back kitchen, where he could hear Old Joe bellowing out orders and the waitress' snide comebacks. Remus moved to go to the swinging door where the waitress had walked through, when, sure enough, he elbowed someone.
"'Ey, gerroff!" came a gruff and muffled voice from the man's hidden face.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you!" Remus blurted out quickly, taking a step back and only nearly tripping over another barstool.
The man was wearing a dirty brown trench coat, with the collar turned up. His hair was mostly gray, with specks of hazel brown trying desperately to cling on to what was left of this man's prime. In fact, his hair looked much the same as Remus', only seriously unkempt and dirty. Remus wrinkled his nose, quickly regaining his composure until the man abruptly turned. With a shattering crash, Remus dropped his glass in pure shocked disbelief.
Trying hard to focus behind a pair of cracked spectacles, was his own face. Remus looked into the eyes of his father, finding no recognition there. Only the drunken confusion brought on upon hours of drinking could be seen. Jonathan Lupin stared at his son as he would a roach, his face aged beyond his possible years. With heartbreaking realization, Remus knew Neo had been telling the truth. Their father had left, relying upon his liquor and becoming a full-time alcoholic, leaving his wife alone. She in turn became one as well.
"Who?" his father snapped, trying to point at Remus. He could think of nothing to say, his mouth gaping like a fish.
People were beginning to stare, drawn by his father's slurring growl. Quickly, Remus grabbed him and struggled to get him to his feet, leading him out to the door. He glanced at the table where James and Sirius sat to see that they weren't looking and barely managed to get his father outside before they did. Steering him over to a thicket of trees nearby, Remus got his father to stand somewhat upright without assistance.
"Who'd you think… what you?" his father babbled.
Drawing upon his memory for a temporary charm to help clear his father's mind, Remus tentatively pointed his wand at his father's temples and muttered "Relovate!" Rapidly, Remus' father's pupils drew into focus and he stood straighter, clearing his throat and wiping his dripping nose on the sleeve of his trench coat.
"Father?" Remus asked carefully.
"Remus?" his father blinked at him. "Remus, why aren't you at school? What're you doing here?"
"Father," he took a step toward him to look him in the eyes. "I graduated last year, don't you remember? Don't you know about Mother? You've been missing!"
"Remus, you shouldn't be here, it's not safe, son." His father stepped back from him, shaking his head. Fear replaced the dull indifference in his eyes, looking around wildly as if anticipating someone to leap out of a bush.
"Where have you been? Where were you when Neo killed Mother!" Remus quickly lost his control, not expecting his father to behave like he was, much less find him drunk in a pub.
"You stay away from your brother, you hear me?" his father said sharply, his voice still slightly slurring. "I tried, Remus, I tried… but your brother is consumed by hate. He never forgave me, or your mother. Don't listen to him! I won't any longer! But you must go, you must go! Don't take his path… or mine. Things are changing, things are going to happen and your brother will make sure of it."
"What's going on, Father?" Remus asked him desperately. "Why is Neo doing this? What have you been doing?"
For a moment, his father gave him a knowing look and a sad, grim smile reminiscent of the times when Remus would ask him what he did at work. It made Remus hold his breath, seeing his father look at him that way, standing there close to him.
"Ah, son, you know I'm an Unspeakable. I will not see you hurt, you must not have any part of this. You go far from here, leave the country. Make your life someplace else and continue the Lupin name. I'm so very proud of you, as I always have. Perhaps… perhaps that's your answer."
Words caught in Remus' throat. He stepped forward more, but his father shook his head and stepped back. Tears prickled in Remus' eyes as he fought to keep them back.
"B-but f-father!" Don't make me lose you too, again.
"I'm sorry, Remus. I'm disgraced and a coward, not worthy of anything. I'm sorry." Before Remus could say anything more, his father turned and with a loud POP, disapparated.
Motionless with shock, Remus stood there gaping at the spot where his father had stood. He hadn't seen his father in nearly two years, trying not to believe what Neo had said. But it was true, and his brief meeting that night did nothing to answer his questions, only cause more.
Remus didn't notice how wet his cheeks were, ignorant of the pent up tears that had begun to flow freely. More fearful questions filled his heart- Could Father be in line with Voldemort?
He wasn't aware of how long he had been standing there or how long it had been since he had left the others. Remus barely noticed the pub's door swinging open and Sirius' worried face searching the shadows frantically until he spotted Remus. When he stomped over and stood before him, cloaked in the darkness beyond the pub's lights, Sirius couldn't see the expression wrought on Remus' face.
"Where have you been?" he hissed, shaking Remus' shoulders. "I'm afraid we have a situation."
It was as if hearing him from far away. Remus blinked, the salty tears making the world a blur and Sirius an indistinguishable blob. Why did Father give up on us? He thought miserably. What has he done? It's my fault Neo has so much hatred in him… this is my fault.
"Are you listening?!" Sirius shouted at him, beginning to pull Remus back to The Dragon's Double. "I said that we have a situation!"
"Sirius… I-" Remus choked on his words. They simply would not come out. What could his friends do?
Oblivious to his distraught friend, Sirius dragged and pushed Remus through the door. All at once sight, smell, and sound hit him like a freight train. The pub was in an uproar with shouts and shattering glass. Liquor and tobacco smoke were even more intense, creating a haze that made details impossible to see. And in the middle of it all, standing on top of a table with his wand waving dramatically about his head, was James.
"And if I were Prime Minister!" his slurred voice bellowed over the din. "I would have five camels and a talking trash bin, just to make it even!"
Remus blinked, not quite comprehending exactly what he was seeing. His mind was too busy with thoughts about his father, his brother, and even his mother to gather exactly why one of his best friends was standing on top of a table.
"Don't just stand there!" Sirius bellowed in his ear, watching nervously as the waitress rolled her eyes and called over her shoulder to Old Joe. "We gotta get him outta here before every official both Muggle and wizard is on top of this place!"
"Sirius!" James cried, stomping his foot on the table, making a pint of beer soar into it's customer's lap. "I say, such a jolly drink… I never knew you had six fingers."
Muttering anxiously, Sirius dragged Remus up to James and began to coax their friend down. Remus' thoughts paused just long enough for him to identify what was going on and finally help Sirius in managing to get James off the table and around their shoulders. Before Old Joe and the waitress could reach them, they were out of the pub and back to the place where Sirius had parked the motorcycle.
"Help me get him on the seat, he can sit between you and me," Sirius said, grunting with effort as he tried to get James' leg over the bike.
"Hey, guys, I love ya but you don't have to be fresh… I'm a married man," James babbled, laughing every few minutes.
"What happened?" Remus asked Sirius, forcing his emotions down in light of what was happening. This is no time to get emotional… there has got to be a rational explanation. Maybe if I could find Father again…
"He took a sip, that's what happened!" Sirius growled, securing James' arms around his waist and sitting before him. Remus scrambled on to the back, holding James steady and wincing as the bike roared to life. Any further explanations had to wait, for it was too loud to talk over the din of the engine. Wisely, Sirius did not go back to the Potter estate. Instead, he took them to his own flat on the outskirts of London not far, in fact, from The Dragon's Double. He had just acquired the place a month before, after leaving his parents whom both had marital problems and their nightly arguments finally got too much for Sirius. There was a hidden spot for his motorcycle, and he landed it with precision and care. Both he and Remus then half-dragged James into the flat and deposited him on the only piece of furniture in the house- a sofa.
"Are you sure it was just a sip?" Remus queried, looking James directly in his eyes. He was completely and hopelessly drunk and it took a moment to register that Remus needed to get a bucket… and quickly.
"Sirius! A bucket, give it to … ah, oh… oh, gross… eh, never… never mind."
"I don't remember eating that…" James sputtered. Sirius conjured a mop and proceeded to clean the floor while Remus wiped James' face.
"It was just a sip! He took it not long after you got up… I didn't think it'd be dangerous. Apparently there's more alcohol in one sip of that stuff than in every pint on the British Isles," Sirius said.
"I'm assuming you didn't find anything out, then," Remus said differently.
"Other than that he has a fetish for Lily's lime green toenail polish, no. Brilliant idea, Moony, simply smashing!" Sirius dumped the mop in a bucket of fresh water with a splash.
"It's not like you didn't agree with me," Remus muttered.
"Yeah, well, Lily will hex us senseless if we take him home in this state. Anything we cast on him will only be temporary, she'd find out sooner or later. He'd better stay here tonight." Sirius poked James in the shoulder. James fell over on his side, laughing; both Sirius and Remus looked at each other and nodded.
Suddenly, the emotions that Remus had subdued threatened to overwhelm him. He was quickly becoming claustrophobic in the room, despite the lack of furnishing. He had to get out or he felt like he was going to explode and become just as invalid as James was. His skin went sheet white and sweat broke out on his face, but Sirius was too busy shaking his head at James to notice.
"I'll check up on Lily and tell her that James and you are locked in a chess game that won't end. She should believe it, it happened before. I uh… I'm gonna… gonna go home. Owl me if you need me, okay?"
By the time Sirius turned his head to look at him, Remus was out the door.
Wanting nothing more than to curl up and sob alone in his secret room, Remus waited until he was far from Sirius' flat before gathering enough wits to disapparate. It wasn't safe to perform such magic in a weak, unstable emotional state. Perhaps he only managed to perform the spell under the determination to get away. Nevertheless, it took a few minutes for Remus to realize that he had, in fact, safely apparated to the front lawn of the Potter estate and was standing tear-stricken on the closely manicured flower garden Lily tended to. Numbly, hastily wiping his face with the sleeve of his coat, Remus carefully treaded through the garden and onto the walk. Hesitantly, he knocked on the door and the house-elf, Owen, answered.
"Mister Remus Lupin!" he cried, a wide smile on his little face. "We did not expect you, sir."
"Hullo, Owen," Remus said, his voice hoarse. "Can you please tell Lily that James will be staying with Sirius, tonight?"
Owen cocked his head, slightly puzzled. "Perhaps Miss Lily Evans would rather speak with you, sir? I can get her, sir, I will."
"No!" Remus said sharply, making the poor house-elf jump. "No, no reason to disturb her. James and Sirius are just in the middle of a chess game and it doesn't look like one will win before sundown. No need to worry, if she needs him she can send an owl over, that's all."
Owen did not look convinced. He looked about ready to sprint up the stairs, despite what Remus said. Faintly, Remus could hear laughter and excited voices filtering from upstairs. No… no, surely if Lily saw him she would know what had happened, both to him and to James.
"But… sir!" Owen squeaked.
"Thank you," Remus said quickly. "Tell her goodnight for me, too."
Before Owen could so much as blink one of his large eyes, Remus immediately disapparated. His subconscious took over for his thinking and he wasn't sure just where he had directed himself to go. A moment later, Remus was standing in the middle of a forest that he distantly recognized as the one surrounding his cottage. There was a sudden, abrupt sound. He realized it was himself, sobbing with heaving gasps that racked his chest. Every pent-up emotion that he had stored away began to pour out of him like an uncontrollable tidal wave. He sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands and letting his tears wash away the smell of liquor and smoke that still lingered on his skin.
Another sound, and Remus ignored it. Only now, hands were pulling him up by his shoulders and leading him forward. Remus couldn't see anything, his hands still over his face and his tears flooding his eyes. Carefully, he was guided up the steps to his cottage and led inside, immediately swept into his bedroom and forced to sit on his bed. Then, and only then, did Remus force himself to look at his concerned stranger.
Yet it wasn't a stranger that looked down at him, it was Beta. He could scarcely see her own tear-stained cheeks, her matted hair strewn with dead leaves and melted snow. There was a bruise under her chin, but she held her face high. She looked at Remus and her eyes held nothing but sympathy. It would have shocked him was he not so upset.
"Are you lost?" she whispered.
He didn't answer, hanging his head while his sobs continued to rack him.
"Things are changing again," she said softly. "Alpha and your brother have made some sort of decision."
Neo… Neo hates me… hates Father… hated Mother.
"Come summer, there will be a formal brawl. Against D Two. Your brother wants the werewolves to be united… something is going to happen. Only D Two and our Pack stand in the way. Our quarrel must cease in order for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to have a full and united army. Alpha will not vouch for expanded territory in return."
When Remus made no response, she continued.
"Our Pack will die without a strong leader. In the union we will be divided! Our Network will collapse under the dark lord's rule!"
Heat flooded through Remus, and he looked up at her, his face contorted with anger.
"What do you want me to do?! Look at ME! Do I look like a leader of men?"
Beta stared at him, taken aback, before she raised her hand and slapped him across his face. The blow made his ears ring.
"To be a leader takes more than brawn and politics. It takes heart."
"My brother murdered my mother. He has no magic, yet he's somehow a cog in Voldemort's circle. His influence has spread, taking my father with him. Countless lives are at stake while others are lost everyday under Voldemort's rule. The land is being engulfed in darkness and you want that to happen? To live in fear of your life? Practicing evil?"
Beta shook her head and turned her back to him. His anger quickly ebbed and his emotion left him feeling heavy and exhausted. Only, something was drawing him to Beta. He looked at her back, seeing how tense her shoulders were. How could he convince her that her path was wrong? She was a good person – he knew it, why couldn't she? It was his assignment, after all, to either lead the werewolves back to the allies' side and away from the Dark, or have them taken into custody and treated like wild monsters. Despite his uncertainty and dislike of his task, Remus had come to feel bonded to these human beings like himself. He couldn't stand to see them arrested and treated like rabid strays. And, most of all, Remus would not let anything happen to Beta.
"I know," Remus started to say, his voice weak, "that you don't really want to be part of Voldemort's army. That you hate injustice and inequality, and that you know that what he says are lies. You don't want to be evil at all… and you don't want to hurt anyone."
She turned her head to him so that all he could see was her profile in shadow. "You sit there and judge me?"
"Why not?" Remus looked at the floor. "You've obviously judged me."
"I'm not so sure," she whispered.
"Really, then." Remus closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. "Why is it that you're always in my shadow, if you truly don't believe me?"
Beta looked at him fully, her bangs covering her eyes. Remus could hear her mind, picturing her face that spoke what her heart spoke. What is this feeling inside?
"Maybe because I choose to believe that there's more to you than meets the eye. You're a rogue caught between two worlds, belonging to both and yet not to both at the same time. You see things others can't and while you hurt, it makes you stronger. Such a quiet spirit with so much fire. Maybe that's why I want you… want you to be… I want…"
His mind reeling and his heart pounding, Remus looked at her.
"I know that right now, I want you to sit beside me."
Beta's face softened, and memory flickered across Remus' mind and he saw a flicker of aqua blue light her eyes. Her hair fell over her face then as she sat beside him, and Remus reached over and tucked her bangs behind her ears. It was as if an invisible hand pushed him then, for without realizing he had the strength and will to do so, he leaned forward and kissed the arch of her nose. Beta sighed softly, and she brushed her cheek against his, her lips lightly touching his. Then, Remus couldn't hold back his feelings any longer. His lips met hers and lingered there, and it was if they were meant to be together.
Remus gathered her in his arms, stroking her long hair. It was just as silky and fine as he thought it would be.
"What will you do?" she whispered in his ear, laying down beside him.
He took a moment to answer. "I will do what I'm instructed to do."
She pulled back a little. Remus could see her staring at him with her characteristic glare. "By whom?"
"By my heart," Remus said, and he pulled her closer. Beta did not object.
The back of his eyelids turned red, and Remus opened his eyes to find the dying winter sun streaking through his window and onto his face.
"Good morning, handsome!" boomed a deep, loud voice.
Remus nearly jumped out of his skin. Quickly remembering that he was not alone when he fell asleep the night before, then emotionally and physically exhausted, Remus looked up and knew that whoever loomed over him now wasn't Beta.
"Sirius?!" he cried incredulously. Where was Beta? Oh God! Did he find her here, and she ran off? Did he see? Heavens… am I naked?!
"You look radiant, you know that?" Sirius wore his mischievous grin.
Pulling a face, Remus quickly scuttled from underneath him and, relieved to find himself at least partially clothed from the waist down, hastily pulled on new clothing that was put out. He registered momentarily that he did not remember setting out fresh clothes.
"While you got some beauty sleep, I was up all night with Prongs." Sirius' face then suddenly went very solemn. "There are some things I found out that you should probably know."
Remus combed through his hair, immediately putting aside his troubled thoughts. He looked at Sirius with a grim expression.
"Where is he?"
"Home, with Lily. She, er, was not pleased. However, she seemed more worried about you than James, whom she promptly whacked over the head with her wand, which resulted in his hair turning a brilliant shade of pink. He was feeling that one sip, and I'm sure he will continue to for a great while, and not just from the liquor, I think."
Remus went into his small living room and to the kitchen, where he started to brew up some tea. Sirius sat down at the table, not noticing Remus' worried search of his small cottage for any sign of Beta. It was as if she was never there; nothing was amiss.
Why would it? He thought. We were in my bedroom all night… unless she's upstairs…
"While what happened was still insane, perhaps you were right in thinking that James would never tell this in his right state of mind," Sirius said.
Remus poured them some tea, cut a lemon into slices, and put it out on the table. He looked intently at Sirius as he sat down, forcing himself to focus.
"It would appear," Sirius continued, "That we've been in the dark as to what all James and Lily have been working on with Arabella and Mundungus. They've been rooting out many of Voldemort's followers and exposing them, being exceptionally skilled at it. James in particular."
"But we knew they've been doing a great job for a while now, that's no secret," Remus said.
"Yes, but they haven't told us how." Sirius paused to take a sip of his tea while Remus stared at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Moony, James has been going out into the open in known occupied areas for activity to be a trap. The Death Eaters and Dementors go after him specifically, not really paying much mind to the others. There have been many close calls, but James takes them out with a skill we're not aware of. He can disarm a whole mob of Death Eaters with one spell, immobilize them just as easily. James has a power behind him that he can't even explain when he's intoxicated. He believes it all has to do with that blasted prophecy, and he's very afraid."
Remus' eyes went wide and he sat back in his chair. "No wonder."
Sirius nodded grimly. "Yes, and lately Voldemort has gotten real keen on James. Some attacks are now directed at him and Lily, and he's petrified that they'll eventually find them at their home."
Didn't I hear Dumbledore mention something about James and Lily relocating? I can't remember… Remus thought to himself.
"What should we do?" Remus asked.
"We should confront him, of course! I can't stand by and watch him suffer. We can help him and Lily."
Remus nodded, thoughtfully taking a sip of his tea. "He won't be happy knowing how we found out."
"He won't be happy knowing it was your idea." Sirius grinned. There was a sudden, loud thump from above them, making both of them jump in their chairs. Remus stared at the ceiling above his bedroom with wide, nervous eyes.
"What was that? Some kind of mutant squirrel?" Sirius exclaimed.
Remus hoped the look he gave him was innocent enough. "Heheh, large as a breadbox. Ehem… more tea?"
Author's Note: I'll start off by saying – please review! I haven't heard from many of you for the past few chapters, so please be sure to tell me what you think as this story begins to reach its climax by leaving a few words. Since I'm working full time this summer, my time (as I've reminded many of you frequently) has seriously been eaten up by work and other things. This fic may not be finished before the end of this season, and even later so since school will be starting again and I might still be working.
Some links FYI – http://orcapotter.tripod.com My official archive and home site, with plenty to read and see.
http://orcapotter.tripod.com/hpp02.html The official home of The 3rd Annual Harry Potter Party 2002, where you can learn more about throwing your own HP shindig and find out about the international Harry Potter Symposium (convention) next summer in Orlando, Florida (my home town, imagine that ~_^).
I leave you by saying, please review! And look forward to chapter 13…
~Orca
