Are We There Yet? Chapter 6: Fun With Prank Calls
Well, who knew it would come to this for Duo. After being booted from the living room by Trowa, Heero returned to his laptop, Quatre pouted in the kitchen, Wufei locked himself away with his model kits, and Duo, our favorite little bug, has hidden away in Quatre's room.
"Hello, this is Bath & Body Works," said the woman on the phone.
"Hello," said Duo. "My name is Apu. I love goats. Will you go out with me?"
"Um...no, I don't think so."
"Please? I'll give you a dollar."
"Really? Okay!"
"Great. We'll meet at the Winner Estate in...say, fifteen minutes." Duo hung up and dialed again.
"Peacecraft residence," said Milliardo.
Duo cleared his throat, then said, "Hey, you!"
"Who's this?"
"This is Inuyasha! You said you were gonna meet me at Quatre's!"
"W-What? Inuyasha? But we agreed on Saturday at Kagome's--"
"No, you said 'Friday at noon at Quatre's.' That's what'cha said. You're late!"
"Sorry, Yasha, I must've forgot! I'll be over right away!" Milliardo slammed down the phone, charging out the door.
This is great! thought the little prankster. Just one more call to go...
"Duo!" Heero hollered through the wall. "Get off the phone already! I'm bidding on a gas-powered skateboard in here!"
"Keep your ugly spandex pants on!" He picked the phone up once again.
"Huh? Hello?"
"Yasha, where are you?" he said (in Milliardo's voice). "Weren't we meeting at Quatre's today?"
"Wha? No way! I said Saturday at noon, you moron! At Kagome's!"
"Oh, no, I clearly recall Friday at noon at Quatre's. You're late, so hurry up."
Duo was beaming as he hung up the phone. It was all so perfect! Could nothing make a better day?
He dashed down the steps, launching Trowa and his soda back off the long staircase, and innocently sat down to watch a Trigun episode he recorded.
"..." Trowa mumbled.
"Don't worry; soda washes out the carpet."
And, to Duo's delight, the doorbell rang.
"I'LL GET IT!!!" screamed Quatre, making a mad dash for the door to find Milliardo fiddling with his hair.
"...Um...Afternoon, Quatre. Is Yasha here yet?"
"Yasha?"
"Yes. Yasha...Inu Yasha. Is he here yet? I thought he was here."
Quatre stared at him, probably wondering just who the heck Inuyasha is. Or why they were meeting at his house. Or why they were meeting at all! "Um, I don't remember being told you were coming, Zechs. Who is this Inuyasha?"
"What? Uhhh..." He fiddled with his hair even more, glancing all around the living room. "He's a friend of mine, is all. Are you sure you don't recall--"
"Hey, you!" called Inuyasha, swooping down from the roof. "What's with the change of plans so quick, huh?"
"Change of plans? But didn't you change them?"
By this time the five ex-pilots were lined up outside the door, watching everything but understand nothing. Nothing at all.
"Don't you go blaming this on me, you! I remember 'noon Saturday at Kagome's' 'cause Kagome's place is closer to downtown--"
"Details, details! I don't recall--"
"HELLLOOOOO APUUUUUU!!" came an annoying yet familiar voice from down the lane.
"Oh, no," said Heero.
"It isn't!" Wufei denied.
"WOW!" Duo exclaimed. "This just keeps getting better!"
I'm sure you know who it is, don't you? Yes, it's Relena Peacecraft, who degraded herself from Queen of the World to "Hello, this is Bath & Body Works." "APPPUUU! IT'S YOOOU!" she squealed, clamping herself to Inuyasha's arm. "Where's my dollar?"
"What? Dollar? I ain't got no money!"
Milliardo's face went beet red, his expression transformed into something you'd see in a very angry episode of Rurouni Kenshin. "INUYASHA!!!!"
"What? I don't even know this loon--!"
"Yes you do, Apu!" Relena said. "You called me up and asked to go out with me, remember?"
"The heck?!?"
"YASHA!!!"
So Milliardo commenced to beating Yasha (and Relena) upside the head with the roses he brought along with him, which is quite disturbing when you think about it. After all, it's Milliardo and Inuyasha. Duo was beside himself with joy; lucky for him he swiped Quatre's video camera, just for the occasion of Zechs, Relena, and special guest Inuyasha duke it out. Trowa had a horrified look on his face watching this act of extreme thorny carnage, while Quatre turned blue from lack of air. (He hadn't breathed since Yasha appeared.) Wufei and Heero, however, didn't know exactly what was going on, but they knew who was to blame.
He's always to blame.
The three victims outside paused to let Heero shove Duo into the circle. "Take him, too," Wufei and Heero said.
The three flower wrestlers stared at the scared little demon, shrugged, and beat him up, too.
Sorry, folks; I just couldn't let Duo have a good day. ^_^
