Oh, wow! THANK YOU ALL! You people are AWESOME! I wasn't expecting that much of a response… and not one flame! *grins giddily* And yes, I too have noticed many potentially slashy moments the books. There are tons of them!
This fic, for some reason, is turning out far fluffier than I intended it to be… I have never written fluff before in my life, and I wanted this to be solidly depressing angst! *growls in annoyance* The fic, it seems, has other ideas and is rapidly snowballing out of my control. This chapter is extremely light, but if I have my way the story's going to get very dark before it's over, I assure you…
Sirius had just stepped out of the bathtub, resisting the urge to shake himself free of moisture, when he realized his predicament. The only clothes he had were his Azkaban robes, which were, quite plainly, filthy as all get-out. This hadn't been much of a problem when Sirius himself was filthy as all get-out, but now he was clean and rather looking forward to staying that way. It would be a welcome change from his previous state.
The only solution, then, was to find a way to make them clean. This was also a problem, as Sirius did not have a wand (being as it had been seized upon his capture and successive confinement to wizarding prison). He could simply have washed them the Muggle way (in the bathtub or sink) but he did not particularly relish the idea of walking around clad in nothing but a towel for hours on end whilst he waited for them to dry. Though it might be interesting to see the look on Moony's face… He grinned wickedly for a moment at the mental picture and then returned his thoughts to his problem.
He continued to think as he dried himself off. Towel wrapped firmly about his waist, he opened the door a bit and questioned, "Moony, can I borrow your wand?"
The werewolf turned from the fireplace, where he'd been stirring something in a black kettle, benignly curious expression on his face. "What for?"
"Mine was confiscated in Azkaban, and in case you haven't noticed, my robes are filthy. I was thinking a Scouring Charm might do the trick…"
A look of comprehension dawned in Remus's eyes. Of course… why didn't I think? Rising, he retrieved his wand from his pocket, and went to hand it to Sirius, who was standing half-in and half-out of the bathroom doorway, wearing…nothing but a towel. Lupin's eyes went round as Galleons, his face went red, and it was with some difficulty that he stammered out, "Here you are, then," and turned back to his cooking.
Sirius, meanwhile, fighting to keep a ridiculously huge grin off his face at Lupin's expression – he'd forgotten how fun it was to wrong-foot the unflappable werewolf – returned to the bathroom and set about to Scouring his clothes.
'Trying to Scour his clothes' would have perhaps been more accurate. To quote Mr. Ollivander, of Ollivander's (wandmakers since 382 B.C.) "You never will get such good results with another wizard's wand" and Sirius, unfortunately, had never been particularly good at this spell in the first place. Adding to this problem was that Remus, being a highly unusual individual, had a highly unusual wand. The exact combination escaped Sirius at the moment, but he remembered that it had been very odd indeed – a fact that was going to make any of Sirius's attempts at spellwork considerably more difficult.
On his first try, Sirius raised the wand, said the incantation, and turned his robes purple. He raised his eyebrows at this, but tried it again, and managed to turn the purple into a rather loud Hawaiian print. He made a rather interested sound in the back of his throat when he discovered that, though he'd changed the color, the robes were no less dirt-encrusted than before. Muttering, "third time's the charm," he tried again – and set them on fire.
Eyes wide, he hastily put them out. At least the wand cooperated with him for that spell… Perhaps on the fourth try…
This time, the Hawaiian-print, still-unlaundered, slightly singed robes rose off the floor of their own accord and began to dance the tango. They also resisted all of his attempts to stop them, and only proceeded to dance faster. Seventeen more times he tried to get them to return to normal, or at least to get them clean. The robes, however, would have none of this and, being sick of Sirius trying to interfere with their unkempt tango dancing, they turned and attempted to strangle him.
As the grimy, cheerily patterned cotton closed about his throat, Sirius just barely managed to gasp out, "Moony!"
Remus, highly concerned, came running in. He quite promptly did a double take – of all the things he had been expecting, a pair of dirty, charred-around-the-edges robes patterned in neon pink-and-green pineapples with a still only towel-clad Sirius in a chokehold had not even been on the list. Lupin's wand was on the floor; Sirius had dropped it so that he could use both hands to try and break the clothing's grip.
Sirius, nearly purple, eyed Remus with an expression that was a cross between amusement and horror. Resisting the urge to shake his head at the fact that Sirius found this funny despite the fact that he was being strangled to death, Remus picked up his wand, and, with a few quick spells, returned the robes to their normal, inanimate, non-threatening grey state. They were, however, clean.
Sirius turned to Remus, face flushed and breathing heavily. Remus tried not to concentrate on how very attractive he found this picture… There are far more important things for you to concern yourself with! Only the end of the world as we know it…
"Thank you," stated the ex-con, trying with limited success to keep himself from laughing maniacally at the look Remus wore. The look in the werewolf's eyes was more than enough to say that he liked what he was seeing… So maybe my feelings will be reciprocated! The only problem was that he couldn't go asking Lupin now…
Remus, meanwhile, eager to stop simply gaping like an idiot, questioned, "What were you trying to do, anyway?"
Picking up the robes from off the floor, where they had fallen as their dancing had come to an end, Sirius answered, "I was trying to get them clean. Your wand had other ideas."
"I see," commented Remus dryly.
They both stood there in a somewhat awkward silence for a moment, before Remus began, "I'll leave you to change, then," and walked out.
Sirius, suppressing a smile, donned his prison robes once more.
Okay, okay, abysmally short chapter, I know… I'm sorry! But when I tried to write more, it made it seem like it was dragging on when it would have been better to break it up into another chapter, so I had to end it here! PLEASE REVIEW! Thank you very much in advance!
