I do NOT own Star Wars although it'd be cool if I did.
Director: Aphy
So I admit Grade 1 wasn't as funny as Kindergarten but I was just flat out for ideas. I have an idea for Grade 2 thus I'm writing it ^_^ Enjoy.
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Miss Sue (her first name was Mary) made sure she had the floor cleaned, the desks cleaned and all the desks in a semi-circle with the boards cleaned and the blinds open so there was light. She had extremely long beautiful straight blonde hair with crystal blue eyes; she was around 5'7" with a perfect face and perfect figure and perfect everything. She was even more perfect than Ms. Perfect herself. Miss Sue smiled proudly to herself and sat at the front for a moment, going over the names. "This is going to be fun," she said to herself and looked over to see the door open with thirteen little people walk in. "Hello class!" she said in her perfect musical voice. "Now hurry up and place your things away in the cloak-room and we'll being."
The thirteen students quickly dropped off their things in the cloak-room and came out, picking desks at random to sit in. The dark ones to the left, neutral in the middle, and light to the right.
"I'm Miss Sue, your Grade two teacher for the rest of the year," she began. "I'm going to call ou--"
"Can we just get on with the class today? It's really pointless to call out our names because you know we're all here," Anakin quickly said. "We can wear name-tags."
Miss Sue smiled. "Good idea!" She jumped from her chair and handed out neat little perfectly cut pieces of paper that were glued on the back and pens to each person. "Write down your names quickly and we'll start with our first class." She walked slowly by as the children wrote down their names onto the paper and placed them on their clothes. Well, except the one named Chewie who placed it on his...er...fur. She collected the pens and walked back to the front. "Our first class today is English where we'll be writing short stories. You all know how to write, do you not?"
All the students nodded.
Miss Sue clapped her hands together. "Excellent! Now," she started handing out normal size perfectly cut paper with perfectly sharpened pencils, "we're going to write short stories. I'll explain the basics and then you can use your own imaginations to start writing. We'll then read them to the class and see how you did." She went to the front of the board and took a black marker and proceeded to write on the white board with perfect writing. She explained the usage of "" and , and . and ! and ? and ; and : and & and ( and ) and # and @ and ' and when to start new paragraphs and all those other things grade two students really didn't have to know until they were older. "Now begin!"
Miss Sue sat at the front as she watched the students write extremely fast and finally, after about a half an hour, they were all complete. "Okay! Good job class. Now, who would like to go first with reading their story?"
A hand was raised.
Miss Sue looked at the nametag without squinting since her sight was better than perfect. "Maul."
Chibi Maul jumped from his seat and a grin appeared on his face, showing he didn't really like the dentist and had a fear of toothbrushes. He cleared his throat and began in a deeeeeeeeeeeeeep, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark voice, "There once was a Sith Lord named Darth Maul who was all-powerful and wise. He lived on a planet with tons of babes surrounding him."
Silence.
(A/N: Hehe, Maul said babes ^_^)
He continued, "But one day, his perfect life was shattered by a Jedi Knight named Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"Shattered is an excellent word usage Maul!" Miss Sue exclaimed. "Good job!"
Maul blinked and wondered why Miss Sue was still alive and continued, "Darth Maul and Obi-Wan Kenobi got into a big battle and the babes became scared and ran away! That got Darth Maul mad! So he said, 'Obi-Wan Kenobi, you made all my babes run away!' And Obi-Wan replied said, 'Yeah? So? They're going to be all mine now!'"
Chibi Obi-Wan Kenobi stared for a moment and blushed madly as Qui-Gon Jinn gave him a look.
"'You're mean! I will kill you!' Darth Maul said and suddenly blinked, causing Obi-Wan Kenobi to explode and die. All the babes came back and hugged Darth Maul. The End." Maul cleared his throat and sat back down.
Miss Sue blinked. "Babes? Well, Maul, that was very...er...good. Who would like to read next?"
Another hand shot into the air.
"All right, Han, you can go next."
Chibi Han grinned down at Leia and stood up. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Leia and a handsome prince named Han. They didn't know each other but when they first met, they fell in love. They got married and had three children, a set of twins, boy and girl, and a boy. (A/N: Hah ^_^). After that, they lived happily ever after. THE END!"
Miss Sue frowned. "That was just a little too short Han but it was still VERY good!" She smiled. "Who wants to read next?"
A hand snot into the air.
"Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon stood up onto his chair and cleared his throat. "A long long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a powerful Jedi Master named Qui-Gon Jinn. He and his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, were some of the strongest Jedi in the Universe but --"
Suddenly, out of the blue, a package of pencil crayons shot out, hitting Qui-Gon in the head and knocking him out.
Miss Sue gasped and shot up in her chair.
Qui-Gon groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. Suddenly, out flew a shoe and hit him in the head. "OW! HONESTLY! WHAT KIND OF A PERSON THROWS HIS SHOE?!" He jumped up to see Maul standing with only ONE shoe on. He glared at him and dashed out, tackling him to the ground.
"No! Children, stop this!" Miss Sue reached forward and pulled Maul and Qui-Gon apart. "Go to the office, NOW!"
Maul snarled at the teacher and then left the classroom, Qui-Gon following slowly behind.
Miss Sue coughed and went back to the front of the class. "You know what class? We're going to start our math lesson now." She began to ramble on about adding and subtracting and then handed out a worksheet for each student.
They all finished fairly soon and then Miss Sue called out the answers.
They got everything wrong.
Miss Sue went to explain adding and subtracting again. She handed out more sheets and called out the answers again.
They got everything wrong...again.
Miss Sue hung her head. She began to explain it more in depth and passed out sheets.
This time, they got all the answers correct.
But then Miss Sue found out that they were actually putting down GUESSES instead of doing the actual work; they just wanted to finish so they could get outside for recess. Finally, class was OVER and out the children ran.
Miss Sue sat the front, her head hung. "Wow, these kids are harder to take care of than I expected." She then waited until the children came back...they didn't...even after the bell rang so she went out to find the children. She went outside and found the eleven chibi children standing with their heads hung. "What's wrong, children? Why didn't you come in? The bell rang."
Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders. "Qui-Gon is gone."
"Where did he go?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Some men in black came and took him away; as well as Maul. The men in black took them both away. They said they'd be back for us too."
Miss Sue gasped. "Men in black? Did they have anything? Like badges?"
Windu nodded. "One of them had one that said NSA and the other had one that said CIA. They said they knew who we really were and they were going to send us back to where we came from." He shivered at the thought. "I don't want to go back there."
Yoda hit Windu on the head. "Fool, you are. Be quiet about the secret, you must."
"Secret? What secret?" Miss Sue asked, confused.
Sidious gave Dooku a look and the two rushed back into the school.
Obi-Wan looked at Anakin. "You are now my Padawan."
Yoda hit Obi-Wan. "Fool, you are. Padawan you still are."
Obi-Wan blinked.
"Jedi Knight you now are."
"Anakin, NOW you are my Padawan." Obi-Wan, Anakin, Windu, Yoda, and Padme rushed back into the school.
Chewie yelled out in frustration and stomped his feet.
Han patted him. "It's okay, buddy. I won't let those weird men in black take you away." Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie then went into the school, leaving Miss Sue alone for a little bit.
"What secret? What men in black? What's going on? Why am I so confused?" She then gasped. "Am I...stressed?!" She gasped louder. "I'M STRESSED!" With that, she fainted.
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I don't think that was funny. *whines* I THINK I'VE LOST MY FUNNY SONG! *is in pain* THE HORROR! THE HORROR! I'm meelting..meeeelting. *melts away*
...o_o
Sorry, but I couldn't find this chapter funny for some reason. Except the part where Maul said babes. ^_^ *snickers* I think that was funny. But everything else was sad. Oh, and those men in black? I sent them... *shifty eyes* Shh. Don't tell anyone. They said they'd leave me alone if they found others to go after. *hides* APHY WAS NEVER HERE!
~Aphy the Almighty
P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Remember: It's not about the presents! It's about Jesus! ^_^
Director: Aphy
So I admit Grade 1 wasn't as funny as Kindergarten but I was just flat out for ideas. I have an idea for Grade 2 thus I'm writing it ^_^ Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miss Sue (her first name was Mary) made sure she had the floor cleaned, the desks cleaned and all the desks in a semi-circle with the boards cleaned and the blinds open so there was light. She had extremely long beautiful straight blonde hair with crystal blue eyes; she was around 5'7" with a perfect face and perfect figure and perfect everything. She was even more perfect than Ms. Perfect herself. Miss Sue smiled proudly to herself and sat at the front for a moment, going over the names. "This is going to be fun," she said to herself and looked over to see the door open with thirteen little people walk in. "Hello class!" she said in her perfect musical voice. "Now hurry up and place your things away in the cloak-room and we'll being."
The thirteen students quickly dropped off their things in the cloak-room and came out, picking desks at random to sit in. The dark ones to the left, neutral in the middle, and light to the right.
"I'm Miss Sue, your Grade two teacher for the rest of the year," she began. "I'm going to call ou--"
"Can we just get on with the class today? It's really pointless to call out our names because you know we're all here," Anakin quickly said. "We can wear name-tags."
Miss Sue smiled. "Good idea!" She jumped from her chair and handed out neat little perfectly cut pieces of paper that were glued on the back and pens to each person. "Write down your names quickly and we'll start with our first class." She walked slowly by as the children wrote down their names onto the paper and placed them on their clothes. Well, except the one named Chewie who placed it on his...er...fur. She collected the pens and walked back to the front. "Our first class today is English where we'll be writing short stories. You all know how to write, do you not?"
All the students nodded.
Miss Sue clapped her hands together. "Excellent! Now," she started handing out normal size perfectly cut paper with perfectly sharpened pencils, "we're going to write short stories. I'll explain the basics and then you can use your own imaginations to start writing. We'll then read them to the class and see how you did." She went to the front of the board and took a black marker and proceeded to write on the white board with perfect writing. She explained the usage of "" and , and . and ! and ? and ; and : and & and ( and ) and # and @ and ' and when to start new paragraphs and all those other things grade two students really didn't have to know until they were older. "Now begin!"
Miss Sue sat at the front as she watched the students write extremely fast and finally, after about a half an hour, they were all complete. "Okay! Good job class. Now, who would like to go first with reading their story?"
A hand was raised.
Miss Sue looked at the nametag without squinting since her sight was better than perfect. "Maul."
Chibi Maul jumped from his seat and a grin appeared on his face, showing he didn't really like the dentist and had a fear of toothbrushes. He cleared his throat and began in a deeeeeeeeeeeeeep, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark voice, "There once was a Sith Lord named Darth Maul who was all-powerful and wise. He lived on a planet with tons of babes surrounding him."
Silence.
(A/N: Hehe, Maul said babes ^_^)
He continued, "But one day, his perfect life was shattered by a Jedi Knight named Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"Shattered is an excellent word usage Maul!" Miss Sue exclaimed. "Good job!"
Maul blinked and wondered why Miss Sue was still alive and continued, "Darth Maul and Obi-Wan Kenobi got into a big battle and the babes became scared and ran away! That got Darth Maul mad! So he said, 'Obi-Wan Kenobi, you made all my babes run away!' And Obi-Wan replied said, 'Yeah? So? They're going to be all mine now!'"
Chibi Obi-Wan Kenobi stared for a moment and blushed madly as Qui-Gon Jinn gave him a look.
"'You're mean! I will kill you!' Darth Maul said and suddenly blinked, causing Obi-Wan Kenobi to explode and die. All the babes came back and hugged Darth Maul. The End." Maul cleared his throat and sat back down.
Miss Sue blinked. "Babes? Well, Maul, that was very...er...good. Who would like to read next?"
Another hand shot into the air.
"All right, Han, you can go next."
Chibi Han grinned down at Leia and stood up. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Leia and a handsome prince named Han. They didn't know each other but when they first met, they fell in love. They got married and had three children, a set of twins, boy and girl, and a boy. (A/N: Hah ^_^). After that, they lived happily ever after. THE END!"
Miss Sue frowned. "That was just a little too short Han but it was still VERY good!" She smiled. "Who wants to read next?"
A hand snot into the air.
"Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon stood up onto his chair and cleared his throat. "A long long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a powerful Jedi Master named Qui-Gon Jinn. He and his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, were some of the strongest Jedi in the Universe but --"
Suddenly, out of the blue, a package of pencil crayons shot out, hitting Qui-Gon in the head and knocking him out.
Miss Sue gasped and shot up in her chair.
Qui-Gon groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. Suddenly, out flew a shoe and hit him in the head. "OW! HONESTLY! WHAT KIND OF A PERSON THROWS HIS SHOE?!" He jumped up to see Maul standing with only ONE shoe on. He glared at him and dashed out, tackling him to the ground.
"No! Children, stop this!" Miss Sue reached forward and pulled Maul and Qui-Gon apart. "Go to the office, NOW!"
Maul snarled at the teacher and then left the classroom, Qui-Gon following slowly behind.
Miss Sue coughed and went back to the front of the class. "You know what class? We're going to start our math lesson now." She began to ramble on about adding and subtracting and then handed out a worksheet for each student.
They all finished fairly soon and then Miss Sue called out the answers.
They got everything wrong.
Miss Sue went to explain adding and subtracting again. She handed out more sheets and called out the answers again.
They got everything wrong...again.
Miss Sue hung her head. She began to explain it more in depth and passed out sheets.
This time, they got all the answers correct.
But then Miss Sue found out that they were actually putting down GUESSES instead of doing the actual work; they just wanted to finish so they could get outside for recess. Finally, class was OVER and out the children ran.
Miss Sue sat the front, her head hung. "Wow, these kids are harder to take care of than I expected." She then waited until the children came back...they didn't...even after the bell rang so she went out to find the children. She went outside and found the eleven chibi children standing with their heads hung. "What's wrong, children? Why didn't you come in? The bell rang."
Obi-Wan shrugged his shoulders. "Qui-Gon is gone."
"Where did he go?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Some men in black came and took him away; as well as Maul. The men in black took them both away. They said they'd be back for us too."
Miss Sue gasped. "Men in black? Did they have anything? Like badges?"
Windu nodded. "One of them had one that said NSA and the other had one that said CIA. They said they knew who we really were and they were going to send us back to where we came from." He shivered at the thought. "I don't want to go back there."
Yoda hit Windu on the head. "Fool, you are. Be quiet about the secret, you must."
"Secret? What secret?" Miss Sue asked, confused.
Sidious gave Dooku a look and the two rushed back into the school.
Obi-Wan looked at Anakin. "You are now my Padawan."
Yoda hit Obi-Wan. "Fool, you are. Padawan you still are."
Obi-Wan blinked.
"Jedi Knight you now are."
"Anakin, NOW you are my Padawan." Obi-Wan, Anakin, Windu, Yoda, and Padme rushed back into the school.
Chewie yelled out in frustration and stomped his feet.
Han patted him. "It's okay, buddy. I won't let those weird men in black take you away." Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie then went into the school, leaving Miss Sue alone for a little bit.
"What secret? What men in black? What's going on? Why am I so confused?" She then gasped. "Am I...stressed?!" She gasped louder. "I'M STRESSED!" With that, she fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think that was funny. *whines* I THINK I'VE LOST MY FUNNY SONG! *is in pain* THE HORROR! THE HORROR! I'm meelting..meeeelting. *melts away*
...o_o
Sorry, but I couldn't find this chapter funny for some reason. Except the part where Maul said babes. ^_^ *snickers* I think that was funny. But everything else was sad. Oh, and those men in black? I sent them... *shifty eyes* Shh. Don't tell anyone. They said they'd leave me alone if they found others to go after. *hides* APHY WAS NEVER HERE!
~Aphy the Almighty
P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Remember: It's not about the presents! It's about Jesus! ^_^
