Disclaimer: Much as I'd like to, I don't own Draco Malfoy, or any part of the magical world that J.K. Rowling has all the copyrights to ... please don't sue me. There are some parts of this story that are quotes from the book - it can't be helped - events are the same as in the book, but Draco's opinion of these events may vary from Harry's.
Author's Notes: I needed to do some re-writing, after reading OotP. I have made some minor changes to this chapter, mostly spelling and grammar.
Chapter 10 - Others Are Born With It
After another two weeks, and the unpleasant discovery that Potter and Hermione would both be staying the holidays as well (is she actually suicidal? All the other Mudbloods were going home, like sane people), a notice appeared in the Entrance Hall. I was one of the first to see it, and decided it was a good idea. I immediately returned to the common room and made the announcement to everyone. It seemed pretty unanimous that this was something worth investigating. A duelling club. If an opportunity for something you want presents itself ... take it - duh. So the entire Slytherin house made a point of being at the right place, at the right time, to attend said duelling club. So did most of the rest of the school.
The word 'disappointment' doesn't cover it. Of all the teachers in the school who might have been able to teach a duelling club (Flitwick, Snape, Sinistra, or maybe even Kettleburn or Dumbledore), it had to be the last one any sane person would want to learn to duel from ... Lockhart.
As Lockhart prattled, I found Theo, "Hey - why have you three been avoiding me?" I whispered.
"Look at it this way - you're the only source of information we have on the Heir, and you're also one of the top two suspects in the school." Theo responded, in a barely audible (over Lockhart's yammering) whisper, "Do the math - you're going to have to prove that you're telling us the truth."
"I thought you trusted me?" I asked.
"I do." He whispered, "But the girls don't, and I'm not going to alienate them in case they tell someone about our little escapade last year."
"Good point." I muttered, and left him alone in favour of standing next to the three people everyone seems to think I trust.
I returned my attention to the soon-to-be-lunatic-when-I've-finished-with-him, just in time to hear him saying, "I don't want any of you youngsters to worry - you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"
"Kinda hope we don't have a DADA teacher, after Snape's through with him." I whispered.
Pansy glanced at me and asked, "What do you have against DADA teachers?"
"So far, it's just personal ... but I don't believe in coincidences, so there must be some connection, there." I replied, "Probably the subject attracts teachers I don't like, because I don't like the subject."
"You think too much, Draco." Pansy said.
"It's all relative - someone needs to think to make up for those two." I noted, indicating Crabbe and Goyle.
"Indeed." she muttered, turning her attention back to the stage.
I looked back in that direction, just in time to hear Snape yell, "Expelliarmus!" and send Lockhart flying across the room, making him lose his wand and nearly be embedded in the far wall, in the process.
I heard Theo yelling, "Whoow! Yeah - gettim!" and I, along with most of the Slytherins (and a few - very few - from other houses), cheered as well.
Unfortunately, Lockhart survived and picked himself up, unsteadily. He now had my full attention, since he was being beaten up by my favourite teacher. "Well, there you have it! That was a Disarming Charm - as you see, I've lost my wand -"
"Also works on knives, swords and any other hand-held weapons." I whispered to Pansy who seemed to be more interested in my commentary than Lockhart's.
"- excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was pretty obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy. However, I felt it would be instructive to let them see ..." Lockhart paused his prattle, as he finally recognised the homicidal glare Snape had been giving him for about five minutes now, and decided to take a different direction, "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me ..."
I watched apprehensively, as Lockhart moved through the crowd, splitting them into pairs, heading in my direction. I had planned on using this as another opportunity to test the limits of the man's sanity ... "Mr Malfoy!" but Snape called me, before Lockhart got too close, "Come over here. Let's see what you make of the famous Potter." Oh, even better. I walked up to my rival, while Snape ruined Milli's day by pairing her with Hermione (or was that the other way around? I'm not sure). Potter glared at me with all the hatred he could muster, so when I smirked it must have pissed him off.
Lockhart had returned to his little stage, once everyone was paired up, "Face your partners!" he called, in a voice that could make the most self-controlled among us want to kill him, "And bow!" It's strange how we both managed to make it look like we'd made an effort to bow to each other (nodding our heads really doesn't count, but no one seemed to care), while still maintaining a staring contest. "Wands at the ready!" Lockhart called, and everyone in the Hall (except Lockhart and Snape) raised their wands in a fighting stance, "When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent - ONLY to disarm them - we don't want any accidents." Don't we? Who said it'd be an accident, anyway? And besides, rule 85: 'never start on three, two is a much better substitute'. "One ... two ..."
"Evertestatis!"
"... three!"
Potter stumbled backwards, like he'd just been hit by a Bludger to the head. I thought that curse threw its victims over backwards until they fell flat on their face ... maybe I need more practice. I certainly need to learn to stay alert - I was just about to start laughing at him, when ... "Rictusempra!" ... that was a laughing curse and I didn't have time to dodge it. I doubled over, now trying my best not to laugh ... talk about irony, huh?
"I said DISARM ONLY!" Lockhart yelled over the noise that everyone in that Hall seemed to be making. Oh, go to Hell, you pompous git.
I fell to the ground, laughing like a hyena overdosing on nitrous oxide. Well, Lockhart, this curse certainly seems disarming, don't you think? No. I tried to stop the laughter, but when I did I started to see stars and felt like I might pass out. Bad idea. I stopped trying to fight it and focused on retaliation. I forced myself up from the ground, onto my knees, and raised my wand. The tricky part was breathing and speaking at the same time, while still laughing uncontrollably. I managed to gasp out the word, "Tarantallegra!" - the Dancing Hex - which at least forced Potter to look like as much of an fool as I did while under this curse.
Still, neither of us compared to Lockhart, in the looking-like-a-fool stakes. He was running around desperately yelling, "Stop! Stop!"
We were lucky there was a competent teacher there, really. Snape took control of the situation with one of the simplest spells there is, "Finite Incantatem!"
The laughing stopped and I immediately took the opportunity to breathe properly, again. Then, after a few deep breaths, I looked up to see the chaos that had been wreaked in the Hall. Almost everyone had stopped moving, most were also gasping for breath, I don't want to know what Weasley's broken wand did to that poor boy he was paired with, but Hermione and Milli were still fighting - Milli had Hermione in a headlock and was trying to use this as a method of decapitation. I stifled a snigger - I really did not feel like laughing, right now - as I watched Potter try to break up the one-sided fight, when Milli was almost twice his size.
"Dear, dear." Lockhart said, in a tone that was supposed to mean he was upset, but he still managed to sound cheery and self-satisfied, even now. He went around the Hall checking that no one was seriously injured ... though how Terry Boot got that nose-bleed, I really don't know (there's not many curses that have that effect on someone). "I think I'd better teach you how to block unfriendly spells." Lockhart said, nervously glancing at Snape, who managed to intimidate him into looking away again within a second. "Let's have a volunteer pair - Longbottom and Finch-Fletchley, how about you?"
"A bad idea, Professor Lockhart," Snape said, in a tone that makes it obvious how little he thought the term 'Professor' suited the man, "Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending what's left of Finch-Fletchley up to the Hospital Wing, in a matchbox." and he cares, why? But then he answered that question for me, "How about Malfoy and Potter?" that sounds like an excellent idea - I'm sure the fact that he hates Potter, and knows I hate him too, has nothing to do with that choice (sarcasm isn't a strong enough word to cover that, is it?).
"Excellent idea!" Lockhart cheered, waving for us to move into the middle of the Hall. Other students made way for us ... although I noticed they left a wider berth for Potter, in what seemed to me like a way of showing they respected him enough to do so where they didn't for me ... or was I really getting paranoid about him? Snape stood behind me, and Lockhart next to Potter. Lockhart then said, "Now, Harry, when Draco points his wand at you, you do this." and he waved his wand around, and dropped it on the ground. I had trouble not laughing, but as I noted earlier - I had had enough laughing for the week. "Whoops - my wand is a little over-excited." I actually had to bite my lip to stop from saying something rude in response to that - he was asking for it, really, but I wasn't going to degrade him in public - best to let him think it's all in his head, that way he'll go insane faster.
Snape took a step closer to me, leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "Even if he manages to pull it off, in spite of Lockhart, that charm won't protect him from something like - say - a snake-summoning spell." A snake-summoning spell - that was third-year magic ... how did Snape know I already knew that one? And why did he suggest that spell, specifically? Did it matter? It'd make a total idiot out of Potter, so I wasn't arguing with this suggestion.
I turned a you're-in-for-it-now smirk on Potter, who responded to this by asking Lockhart, "Professor, could you show me that blocking thing again?"
He'll not be able to do any better than that, Potter - Lockhart is useless, or haven't you guessed that, yet? But I couldn't ignore the expression on Potter's face, "Scared?" I asked quietly so only Potter could hear me, knowing that even if he was, he'd no sooner admit to being afraid of me than I would if I were ever afraid of him.
"You wish." he replied, also careful not to let Lockhart hear him.
And the idiot clearly didn't hear either of us, as he cheerfully said, "Just do what I did, Harry!"
"What? Drop my wand?" Potter replied instantly. Yes - drop your wand, Potter - it'd make this even more fun.
Lockhart blatantly ignored the Boy-Who-Was-About-To-Be-Humiliated, and proceeded to lead him right into the trap, "Three - two - one - go!" I only waited for the end of the countdown, because I knew Potter wasn't going to try to attack me - he had been told not to, and he was a goody-goody-Gryffindor, so he wouldn't cheat - I only play fair when I have no chance of losing.
I waved my wand in Potter's direction, and yelled, "Serpensortia!" I put all my effort into the spell, knowing that the size of the conjured serpent is directly related to the energy used to conjure it (much the same way as the effort put into the Cruciatus affects its strength). The large black snake reared up, fangs bared, ready to strike, but it just stayed there, staring at Potter - I think it was trying to stare him down.
"Don't move, Potter. I'll get rid of it -" Snape started, as he stepped past me, towards Potter and the snake.
Unfortunately for anyone who valued their limbs, Lockhart decided to act, interrupting Snape and charging into the situation, "Allow me!" he bellowed, casting a hex at the snake ... I didn't know what he said, but it definitely wasn't the spell to banish a snake.
That was proved moments later, as the helpless creature was sent ten feet into the air, landing on the ground with a painful-sounding thump. I winced, in sympathy for what must have hurt the innocent animal. Then, in vengeful anger, it lunged at the nearest member of the offending species (that being humans) - a Hufflepuff boy, named Finch-Fletchley. My full attention was focused on the snake, as it bared it fangs, again, and slithered towards the Hufflepuff. Moments before it would have bitten him, I heard another hissing sound - not exactly a snake's hiss, but near enough to be the same language (like an English person speaking French has the wrong accent - this sounded more human, but was still serpent-tongue). I immediately turned to see that Potter had run towards the snake, and was still making the hissing sound. I shook my head, blinked and looked again. It was him, alright. The snake hissed at its would-be victim, once more, but then laid down on the ground, turning to look straight at Potter, in the same way that a lap-dog looks at its master.
I stared at him with total loathing. The lucky git! I've spent months trying to learn how to do that (with sod-all success), and he's a born Parselmouth. The lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky bastard! I was only distracted from my jealous outrage by the now-not-going-to-be-snake-food Hufflepuff yelling at Potter, "What do you think you're playing at?"
I looked around, to see three quarters of the students conversing in angry or horrified whispers, and the other quarter muttering to each other with morbid fascination (you've got one guess which house is which, there). When I turned back, the snake had disappeared, and I just caught a glimpse of Potter being dragged out of the Great Hall ... I also noted the absence of Weasley-the-sidekick and Hermione, so I guessed that they were the draggers.
"What did he say?" a voice whispered in my ear, extremely quietly, so as not to be overheard. I turned to see Theo staring at me, intently.
I frowned, looking at the ground where the snake had been, as I tried to remember what the hissing noise Potter had made sounded like. After a few seconds, I then began trying to translate it ... another few seconds, and I looked up at Theo, "Leave him." I answered, in almost as quiet a whisper as he had asked.
"Damn - I thought he was encouraging it." Theo said, stomping his foot, petulantly, making it obvious that he wished Potter had been trying to kill off the Hufflepuff kid.
"It'd be damned difficult to prove he wasn't, since I'm the only real witness." I muttered, grinning viciously.
"And I'd bet he'll be public enemy number one, now that he's let that nasty little secret out." Theo added, now neglecting to whisper, since he was on the same subject as the rest of the Hall, anyway.
"Who'd ever have thought that Harry-the-Gryffindor-good-guy-Potter was really the Boy-Who-Talks-To-Snakes." I asked. One thing bothered me, though. I turned round, to see Snape smirking evilly at the door Potter had left through. "Professor?" I asked cautiously.
Snape started and turned to face me, "What is it, Mr Malfoy?"
"Why did you suggest that particular spell?" I asked.
"That, Mr Malfoy, is for me to know and for you ... not to." Snape said, smirking.
"Fat lot of use." I muttered, "I could trade information with you." I suggested, looking at Snape, hopefully. He shook his head and started towards Lockhart, to tell the fool that the Club was an obvious failure and would never happen again under his (Lockhart's) watch.
* * *
"That bloody lucky snake-tongued git!" I muttered, for the umpteenth time, as we walked towards the Transfiguration classroom.
"Leave it, would you, Draco." Theo growled, trying not to let the girls notice he was still talking to me.
"I will not drop this. I will make that lucky git's life a living hell." I snarled quietly.
"Oh, give it a rest." Theo snapped, "How can you be so self-centred?"
"It's a gift ... and I've had years to hone it to perfection." I said proudly.
"See - gifts take years to perfect." Theo said, finding a plausible comeback.
"Nu-uh." I responded, shaking my head, "He's a bloody natural. I want to set Lockhart on him, again ... I could tell Lockhart that Potter put me up to tormenting him." I suggested hopefully.
"And then he'd figure out you'd lied when Potter asks what the hell he's going on about." Theo noted.
"Everyone always asks Lockhart what the hell he's on about ... and Lockhart rarely lets anyone get a word in edge-ways, anyway." I replied.
"It's a bad idea." Theo said desperately, "Potter's going to get annoyed enough, without your help, anyway. A Parselmouth running around the school, and everyone suddenly finds out about it? He's toast."
"Whatever." I muttered, as we reached the door and entered my least-favourite class.
After half-an hour of note-taking ... during which I was told off for not paying attention, when I had been listening to her with an unusual degree of interest (we were working on animal transformations and I wanted to know more about this - I still had half-a-mind to try the Animagus, sometime), she decided to let us try changing birds into skunks.
Fun. I wondered if I could encourage the skunk to stink Crabbe and Goyle. For some strange reason, I find it really funny when revolting things find those two ... although they usually find the revolting things, first.
Cat and Blaise had taken to making irritating and distracting hissing noises - it didn't even sound close to Parseltongue, but they were just out to annoy me ... why couldn't they do that to Potter, instead? One of them flicked something at me - I think it was Blaise - at just the wrong moment, and I jumped, turning round when I was trying to cast the spell. Theo got hit by it. Now, if he had been a bird, he might have turned into a skunk - I don't know - but as it was, he turned into a badger.
"Shoulda done that to a Hufflepuff." Pansy said, grinning.
"It was an accident." I replied, backing away from Theo, as McGonagall loomed over us.
"What happened here?" she asked ominously.
Theo glared at me, "Sorry, Theo." I muttered, before turning to McGonagall - everyone has a teacher they just can't stand - she's the one I loathe, "I didn't mean -"
"You were supposed to be transforming the livestock provided!" she all but yelled, "What made you feel the need to turn your friend, here, into a - a badger?" she asked angrily.
"I said I didn't mean to ... or I tried to say it, anyway." I said quietly.
"Don't talk back to me, young man! You are always causing trouble in my class, and I have had enough of it. If you play one more stupid stunt like this, you will not be allowed back into my classroom!" McGonagall yelled.
"But -"
"No buts! Now you will change him back, or you will be in detention until you graduate!"
Oh, damn. I am going to hurt whoever threw that - that spitball - ewwww. I reached up to check my hair - that does it - whoever is responsible for this will pay dearly for it. I turned to the badger sitting on the table next to me - he was looking at me expectantly. Yeah, Theo, like I'm going to get this spell right - the chances of a second-year getting a Transfiguration spell that advanced right first try were astronomical, and she bloody well knew it. Still, I tried. It didn't work very well. Theo became a black-and-white cat, then a black-and-white chicken, then a black-and-white gerbil - this whole process took fifteen minutes, approximately. McGonagall looked far from happy. Finally, I managed to turn him back to human, but his hair was still black-and-white.
"That was fun." Theo said, grinning, "Why couldn't you have turned me into a snake, while you were at it?" I noticed McGonagall glaring, so didn't answer. Theo continued to tell everyone his opinion of his animal experience, "But the chicken had to be the worst - at least it wasn't an ostrich." the entire class started laughing. McGonagall still looked ready to kill, and I was still recovering from the Duelling Club, so I refrained from joining the laughter.
Just then, a yell sounded through the classroom, from outside - it sounded like Peeves, "ATTACK! ATTACK! ANOTHER ATTACK! NO MORTAL OR GHOST IS SAFE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! ATTAAAACK!"
Theo looked at me, "I'd like to see how the girls can blame you, this time - you've been too busy going through the majority of the animal kingdom with me."
McGonagall had, thankfully, abandoned her vendetta against me, in favour of finding out what was going on. We followed, but I kept back, trying to remain inconspicuous - even if Potter (who, it turned out, was right next to the crime-scene) was the prime suspect, I was still number two on the list. Potter was standing over a petrified Finch-Fletchley, but the thing that really freaked me out was that the Gryffindor Ghost, Nearly Headless Nick, was hovering above the scene, also incapacitated. If it could do that to a ghost, it's more dangerous than even I had thought.
We were ushered away, so obviously I stayed, just around the corner. Just long enough to hear Peeves singing, "Oh Potter, you rotter, oh what have you done? You're killing off students, you think it's good fun -" That's cute. I like that song.
There was nothing else to see or hear, so I returned to the dorm room, humming Peeves' song, "Someone's trying to frame Potter." I said, grinning.
"How?" Theo asked, trying to charm his hair back to normal.
"Well, they got Norris, after Potter found out Filch was a Squib." I said, quoting the rumour-mill for the first one, "They got Creevy after he pissed off Potter, at the Quidditch match. Then Finch-Fletchley, after that duelling incident. Whoever's out to get the Mudbloods is also trying to pin it on Potter."
"That sounds fun." Theo said distractedly, "I'm gonna see if Blaise has any of that Muggle hair-dye stuff she uses."
"Her hair is blonde. Yours is supposed to be brown." I noted.
"Well I'd rather go blonde, than stay like this." Theo muttered, before stalking out of the room. The whole time, Crabbe and Goyle had just sat there, staring at the wall.
* * *
End of chapter 10
Author's Notes: I needed to do some re-writing, after reading OotP. I have made some minor changes to this chapter, mostly spelling and grammar.
Chapter 10 - Others Are Born With It
After another two weeks, and the unpleasant discovery that Potter and Hermione would both be staying the holidays as well (is she actually suicidal? All the other Mudbloods were going home, like sane people), a notice appeared in the Entrance Hall. I was one of the first to see it, and decided it was a good idea. I immediately returned to the common room and made the announcement to everyone. It seemed pretty unanimous that this was something worth investigating. A duelling club. If an opportunity for something you want presents itself ... take it - duh. So the entire Slytherin house made a point of being at the right place, at the right time, to attend said duelling club. So did most of the rest of the school.
The word 'disappointment' doesn't cover it. Of all the teachers in the school who might have been able to teach a duelling club (Flitwick, Snape, Sinistra, or maybe even Kettleburn or Dumbledore), it had to be the last one any sane person would want to learn to duel from ... Lockhart.
As Lockhart prattled, I found Theo, "Hey - why have you three been avoiding me?" I whispered.
"Look at it this way - you're the only source of information we have on the Heir, and you're also one of the top two suspects in the school." Theo responded, in a barely audible (over Lockhart's yammering) whisper, "Do the math - you're going to have to prove that you're telling us the truth."
"I thought you trusted me?" I asked.
"I do." He whispered, "But the girls don't, and I'm not going to alienate them in case they tell someone about our little escapade last year."
"Good point." I muttered, and left him alone in favour of standing next to the three people everyone seems to think I trust.
I returned my attention to the soon-to-be-lunatic-when-I've-finished-with-him, just in time to hear him saying, "I don't want any of you youngsters to worry - you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"
"Kinda hope we don't have a DADA teacher, after Snape's through with him." I whispered.
Pansy glanced at me and asked, "What do you have against DADA teachers?"
"So far, it's just personal ... but I don't believe in coincidences, so there must be some connection, there." I replied, "Probably the subject attracts teachers I don't like, because I don't like the subject."
"You think too much, Draco." Pansy said.
"It's all relative - someone needs to think to make up for those two." I noted, indicating Crabbe and Goyle.
"Indeed." she muttered, turning her attention back to the stage.
I looked back in that direction, just in time to hear Snape yell, "Expelliarmus!" and send Lockhart flying across the room, making him lose his wand and nearly be embedded in the far wall, in the process.
I heard Theo yelling, "Whoow! Yeah - gettim!" and I, along with most of the Slytherins (and a few - very few - from other houses), cheered as well.
Unfortunately, Lockhart survived and picked himself up, unsteadily. He now had my full attention, since he was being beaten up by my favourite teacher. "Well, there you have it! That was a Disarming Charm - as you see, I've lost my wand -"
"Also works on knives, swords and any other hand-held weapons." I whispered to Pansy who seemed to be more interested in my commentary than Lockhart's.
"- excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was pretty obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy. However, I felt it would be instructive to let them see ..." Lockhart paused his prattle, as he finally recognised the homicidal glare Snape had been giving him for about five minutes now, and decided to take a different direction, "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me ..."
I watched apprehensively, as Lockhart moved through the crowd, splitting them into pairs, heading in my direction. I had planned on using this as another opportunity to test the limits of the man's sanity ... "Mr Malfoy!" but Snape called me, before Lockhart got too close, "Come over here. Let's see what you make of the famous Potter." Oh, even better. I walked up to my rival, while Snape ruined Milli's day by pairing her with Hermione (or was that the other way around? I'm not sure). Potter glared at me with all the hatred he could muster, so when I smirked it must have pissed him off.
Lockhart had returned to his little stage, once everyone was paired up, "Face your partners!" he called, in a voice that could make the most self-controlled among us want to kill him, "And bow!" It's strange how we both managed to make it look like we'd made an effort to bow to each other (nodding our heads really doesn't count, but no one seemed to care), while still maintaining a staring contest. "Wands at the ready!" Lockhart called, and everyone in the Hall (except Lockhart and Snape) raised their wands in a fighting stance, "When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent - ONLY to disarm them - we don't want any accidents." Don't we? Who said it'd be an accident, anyway? And besides, rule 85: 'never start on three, two is a much better substitute'. "One ... two ..."
"Evertestatis!"
"... three!"
Potter stumbled backwards, like he'd just been hit by a Bludger to the head. I thought that curse threw its victims over backwards until they fell flat on their face ... maybe I need more practice. I certainly need to learn to stay alert - I was just about to start laughing at him, when ... "Rictusempra!" ... that was a laughing curse and I didn't have time to dodge it. I doubled over, now trying my best not to laugh ... talk about irony, huh?
"I said DISARM ONLY!" Lockhart yelled over the noise that everyone in that Hall seemed to be making. Oh, go to Hell, you pompous git.
I fell to the ground, laughing like a hyena overdosing on nitrous oxide. Well, Lockhart, this curse certainly seems disarming, don't you think? No. I tried to stop the laughter, but when I did I started to see stars and felt like I might pass out. Bad idea. I stopped trying to fight it and focused on retaliation. I forced myself up from the ground, onto my knees, and raised my wand. The tricky part was breathing and speaking at the same time, while still laughing uncontrollably. I managed to gasp out the word, "Tarantallegra!" - the Dancing Hex - which at least forced Potter to look like as much of an fool as I did while under this curse.
Still, neither of us compared to Lockhart, in the looking-like-a-fool stakes. He was running around desperately yelling, "Stop! Stop!"
We were lucky there was a competent teacher there, really. Snape took control of the situation with one of the simplest spells there is, "Finite Incantatem!"
The laughing stopped and I immediately took the opportunity to breathe properly, again. Then, after a few deep breaths, I looked up to see the chaos that had been wreaked in the Hall. Almost everyone had stopped moving, most were also gasping for breath, I don't want to know what Weasley's broken wand did to that poor boy he was paired with, but Hermione and Milli were still fighting - Milli had Hermione in a headlock and was trying to use this as a method of decapitation. I stifled a snigger - I really did not feel like laughing, right now - as I watched Potter try to break up the one-sided fight, when Milli was almost twice his size.
"Dear, dear." Lockhart said, in a tone that was supposed to mean he was upset, but he still managed to sound cheery and self-satisfied, even now. He went around the Hall checking that no one was seriously injured ... though how Terry Boot got that nose-bleed, I really don't know (there's not many curses that have that effect on someone). "I think I'd better teach you how to block unfriendly spells." Lockhart said, nervously glancing at Snape, who managed to intimidate him into looking away again within a second. "Let's have a volunteer pair - Longbottom and Finch-Fletchley, how about you?"
"A bad idea, Professor Lockhart," Snape said, in a tone that makes it obvious how little he thought the term 'Professor' suited the man, "Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending what's left of Finch-Fletchley up to the Hospital Wing, in a matchbox." and he cares, why? But then he answered that question for me, "How about Malfoy and Potter?" that sounds like an excellent idea - I'm sure the fact that he hates Potter, and knows I hate him too, has nothing to do with that choice (sarcasm isn't a strong enough word to cover that, is it?).
"Excellent idea!" Lockhart cheered, waving for us to move into the middle of the Hall. Other students made way for us ... although I noticed they left a wider berth for Potter, in what seemed to me like a way of showing they respected him enough to do so where they didn't for me ... or was I really getting paranoid about him? Snape stood behind me, and Lockhart next to Potter. Lockhart then said, "Now, Harry, when Draco points his wand at you, you do this." and he waved his wand around, and dropped it on the ground. I had trouble not laughing, but as I noted earlier - I had had enough laughing for the week. "Whoops - my wand is a little over-excited." I actually had to bite my lip to stop from saying something rude in response to that - he was asking for it, really, but I wasn't going to degrade him in public - best to let him think it's all in his head, that way he'll go insane faster.
Snape took a step closer to me, leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "Even if he manages to pull it off, in spite of Lockhart, that charm won't protect him from something like - say - a snake-summoning spell." A snake-summoning spell - that was third-year magic ... how did Snape know I already knew that one? And why did he suggest that spell, specifically? Did it matter? It'd make a total idiot out of Potter, so I wasn't arguing with this suggestion.
I turned a you're-in-for-it-now smirk on Potter, who responded to this by asking Lockhart, "Professor, could you show me that blocking thing again?"
He'll not be able to do any better than that, Potter - Lockhart is useless, or haven't you guessed that, yet? But I couldn't ignore the expression on Potter's face, "Scared?" I asked quietly so only Potter could hear me, knowing that even if he was, he'd no sooner admit to being afraid of me than I would if I were ever afraid of him.
"You wish." he replied, also careful not to let Lockhart hear him.
And the idiot clearly didn't hear either of us, as he cheerfully said, "Just do what I did, Harry!"
"What? Drop my wand?" Potter replied instantly. Yes - drop your wand, Potter - it'd make this even more fun.
Lockhart blatantly ignored the Boy-Who-Was-About-To-Be-Humiliated, and proceeded to lead him right into the trap, "Three - two - one - go!" I only waited for the end of the countdown, because I knew Potter wasn't going to try to attack me - he had been told not to, and he was a goody-goody-Gryffindor, so he wouldn't cheat - I only play fair when I have no chance of losing.
I waved my wand in Potter's direction, and yelled, "Serpensortia!" I put all my effort into the spell, knowing that the size of the conjured serpent is directly related to the energy used to conjure it (much the same way as the effort put into the Cruciatus affects its strength). The large black snake reared up, fangs bared, ready to strike, but it just stayed there, staring at Potter - I think it was trying to stare him down.
"Don't move, Potter. I'll get rid of it -" Snape started, as he stepped past me, towards Potter and the snake.
Unfortunately for anyone who valued their limbs, Lockhart decided to act, interrupting Snape and charging into the situation, "Allow me!" he bellowed, casting a hex at the snake ... I didn't know what he said, but it definitely wasn't the spell to banish a snake.
That was proved moments later, as the helpless creature was sent ten feet into the air, landing on the ground with a painful-sounding thump. I winced, in sympathy for what must have hurt the innocent animal. Then, in vengeful anger, it lunged at the nearest member of the offending species (that being humans) - a Hufflepuff boy, named Finch-Fletchley. My full attention was focused on the snake, as it bared it fangs, again, and slithered towards the Hufflepuff. Moments before it would have bitten him, I heard another hissing sound - not exactly a snake's hiss, but near enough to be the same language (like an English person speaking French has the wrong accent - this sounded more human, but was still serpent-tongue). I immediately turned to see that Potter had run towards the snake, and was still making the hissing sound. I shook my head, blinked and looked again. It was him, alright. The snake hissed at its would-be victim, once more, but then laid down on the ground, turning to look straight at Potter, in the same way that a lap-dog looks at its master.
I stared at him with total loathing. The lucky git! I've spent months trying to learn how to do that (with sod-all success), and he's a born Parselmouth. The lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky bastard! I was only distracted from my jealous outrage by the now-not-going-to-be-snake-food Hufflepuff yelling at Potter, "What do you think you're playing at?"
I looked around, to see three quarters of the students conversing in angry or horrified whispers, and the other quarter muttering to each other with morbid fascination (you've got one guess which house is which, there). When I turned back, the snake had disappeared, and I just caught a glimpse of Potter being dragged out of the Great Hall ... I also noted the absence of Weasley-the-sidekick and Hermione, so I guessed that they were the draggers.
"What did he say?" a voice whispered in my ear, extremely quietly, so as not to be overheard. I turned to see Theo staring at me, intently.
I frowned, looking at the ground where the snake had been, as I tried to remember what the hissing noise Potter had made sounded like. After a few seconds, I then began trying to translate it ... another few seconds, and I looked up at Theo, "Leave him." I answered, in almost as quiet a whisper as he had asked.
"Damn - I thought he was encouraging it." Theo said, stomping his foot, petulantly, making it obvious that he wished Potter had been trying to kill off the Hufflepuff kid.
"It'd be damned difficult to prove he wasn't, since I'm the only real witness." I muttered, grinning viciously.
"And I'd bet he'll be public enemy number one, now that he's let that nasty little secret out." Theo added, now neglecting to whisper, since he was on the same subject as the rest of the Hall, anyway.
"Who'd ever have thought that Harry-the-Gryffindor-good-guy-Potter was really the Boy-Who-Talks-To-Snakes." I asked. One thing bothered me, though. I turned round, to see Snape smirking evilly at the door Potter had left through. "Professor?" I asked cautiously.
Snape started and turned to face me, "What is it, Mr Malfoy?"
"Why did you suggest that particular spell?" I asked.
"That, Mr Malfoy, is for me to know and for you ... not to." Snape said, smirking.
"Fat lot of use." I muttered, "I could trade information with you." I suggested, looking at Snape, hopefully. He shook his head and started towards Lockhart, to tell the fool that the Club was an obvious failure and would never happen again under his (Lockhart's) watch.
* * *
"That bloody lucky snake-tongued git!" I muttered, for the umpteenth time, as we walked towards the Transfiguration classroom.
"Leave it, would you, Draco." Theo growled, trying not to let the girls notice he was still talking to me.
"I will not drop this. I will make that lucky git's life a living hell." I snarled quietly.
"Oh, give it a rest." Theo snapped, "How can you be so self-centred?"
"It's a gift ... and I've had years to hone it to perfection." I said proudly.
"See - gifts take years to perfect." Theo said, finding a plausible comeback.
"Nu-uh." I responded, shaking my head, "He's a bloody natural. I want to set Lockhart on him, again ... I could tell Lockhart that Potter put me up to tormenting him." I suggested hopefully.
"And then he'd figure out you'd lied when Potter asks what the hell he's going on about." Theo noted.
"Everyone always asks Lockhart what the hell he's on about ... and Lockhart rarely lets anyone get a word in edge-ways, anyway." I replied.
"It's a bad idea." Theo said desperately, "Potter's going to get annoyed enough, without your help, anyway. A Parselmouth running around the school, and everyone suddenly finds out about it? He's toast."
"Whatever." I muttered, as we reached the door and entered my least-favourite class.
After half-an hour of note-taking ... during which I was told off for not paying attention, when I had been listening to her with an unusual degree of interest (we were working on animal transformations and I wanted to know more about this - I still had half-a-mind to try the Animagus, sometime), she decided to let us try changing birds into skunks.
Fun. I wondered if I could encourage the skunk to stink Crabbe and Goyle. For some strange reason, I find it really funny when revolting things find those two ... although they usually find the revolting things, first.
Cat and Blaise had taken to making irritating and distracting hissing noises - it didn't even sound close to Parseltongue, but they were just out to annoy me ... why couldn't they do that to Potter, instead? One of them flicked something at me - I think it was Blaise - at just the wrong moment, and I jumped, turning round when I was trying to cast the spell. Theo got hit by it. Now, if he had been a bird, he might have turned into a skunk - I don't know - but as it was, he turned into a badger.
"Shoulda done that to a Hufflepuff." Pansy said, grinning.
"It was an accident." I replied, backing away from Theo, as McGonagall loomed over us.
"What happened here?" she asked ominously.
Theo glared at me, "Sorry, Theo." I muttered, before turning to McGonagall - everyone has a teacher they just can't stand - she's the one I loathe, "I didn't mean -"
"You were supposed to be transforming the livestock provided!" she all but yelled, "What made you feel the need to turn your friend, here, into a - a badger?" she asked angrily.
"I said I didn't mean to ... or I tried to say it, anyway." I said quietly.
"Don't talk back to me, young man! You are always causing trouble in my class, and I have had enough of it. If you play one more stupid stunt like this, you will not be allowed back into my classroom!" McGonagall yelled.
"But -"
"No buts! Now you will change him back, or you will be in detention until you graduate!"
Oh, damn. I am going to hurt whoever threw that - that spitball - ewwww. I reached up to check my hair - that does it - whoever is responsible for this will pay dearly for it. I turned to the badger sitting on the table next to me - he was looking at me expectantly. Yeah, Theo, like I'm going to get this spell right - the chances of a second-year getting a Transfiguration spell that advanced right first try were astronomical, and she bloody well knew it. Still, I tried. It didn't work very well. Theo became a black-and-white cat, then a black-and-white chicken, then a black-and-white gerbil - this whole process took fifteen minutes, approximately. McGonagall looked far from happy. Finally, I managed to turn him back to human, but his hair was still black-and-white.
"That was fun." Theo said, grinning, "Why couldn't you have turned me into a snake, while you were at it?" I noticed McGonagall glaring, so didn't answer. Theo continued to tell everyone his opinion of his animal experience, "But the chicken had to be the worst - at least it wasn't an ostrich." the entire class started laughing. McGonagall still looked ready to kill, and I was still recovering from the Duelling Club, so I refrained from joining the laughter.
Just then, a yell sounded through the classroom, from outside - it sounded like Peeves, "ATTACK! ATTACK! ANOTHER ATTACK! NO MORTAL OR GHOST IS SAFE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! ATTAAAACK!"
Theo looked at me, "I'd like to see how the girls can blame you, this time - you've been too busy going through the majority of the animal kingdom with me."
McGonagall had, thankfully, abandoned her vendetta against me, in favour of finding out what was going on. We followed, but I kept back, trying to remain inconspicuous - even if Potter (who, it turned out, was right next to the crime-scene) was the prime suspect, I was still number two on the list. Potter was standing over a petrified Finch-Fletchley, but the thing that really freaked me out was that the Gryffindor Ghost, Nearly Headless Nick, was hovering above the scene, also incapacitated. If it could do that to a ghost, it's more dangerous than even I had thought.
We were ushered away, so obviously I stayed, just around the corner. Just long enough to hear Peeves singing, "Oh Potter, you rotter, oh what have you done? You're killing off students, you think it's good fun -" That's cute. I like that song.
There was nothing else to see or hear, so I returned to the dorm room, humming Peeves' song, "Someone's trying to frame Potter." I said, grinning.
"How?" Theo asked, trying to charm his hair back to normal.
"Well, they got Norris, after Potter found out Filch was a Squib." I said, quoting the rumour-mill for the first one, "They got Creevy after he pissed off Potter, at the Quidditch match. Then Finch-Fletchley, after that duelling incident. Whoever's out to get the Mudbloods is also trying to pin it on Potter."
"That sounds fun." Theo said distractedly, "I'm gonna see if Blaise has any of that Muggle hair-dye stuff she uses."
"Her hair is blonde. Yours is supposed to be brown." I noted.
"Well I'd rather go blonde, than stay like this." Theo muttered, before stalking out of the room. The whole time, Crabbe and Goyle had just sat there, staring at the wall.
* * *
End of chapter 10
