Insanity on the Set, Please by NachoManLance
Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina, Ken Akamatsu does...... lucky bastard.
Note: So, we finally approach chapter two, which kicks off the plot of this oh-so random story. Hope you enjoy it!
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Chapter Two: Marker, Scene 01, Take 261,....Action!
Day 1
"Alright everyone, are we ready for our first shoot?"
It was the next morning, and Keitaro had already prepared himself in the setting of the first scene: the Hot Spring. He sat in his own special director's chair, holding a megaphone, wearing sunglasses, and a trench coat. The camera was set up in front of him, ready to go. Unfortunetly, the cast wasn't.
"Aw man, why did the costume have to come with a beard?" Lance complained to Talon, "I hate facial hair."
"I have to live with having hair in 99.4 percent of my body, do you think I'm living in a cruise here?"
"Don't make me ask what 6 percent of your body doesn't have hair."
"You just did."
"DAMN!"
Keitaro sighed, "C'mon everyone, let's get ready." He motioned over to Talon, "Talon, is there any way possible you could change back to your weretiger form?"
Talon shook his head, "Sorry dude, I can't control it. I change only every few days at a time, or if Naru is hunting for my blood in a more than menacing way." Hearing this, Keitaro got an idea.
"Hey Naru, come here for a second."
Naru came over to Keitaro and bent down as he whispered something in her ear. Soon, Naru was flamed with anger and revenge, running with fiery eyes at Talon. "YOU PERV I'M SO GOING TO HURT YOUUU!!!!!!!"
Remarkably, before Talon could think of what to do, was forced to get chased around the set with Naru after him, growling and screaming in rage. As he ran, he slipped across the wet floor and fell into the hot spring. Noticing his weakness, Naru plunged into the water after him and continuously slapped, bashed, whacked, whatever you could think of. Soon she came out with a loud "Hmpf." and left to the dressing room to change to a dryer costume. Talon, coming out in his human form, glanced and angry glare at Keitaro. "What... did.... you.... tell.... her?
"I told her that you read her last diary entry, which consisted of a list of reasons why she had to go shop for lingerie with her mother because she felt alone."
Talon gave him a blank look, "She shops with her mother for lingerie?"
"Just get dried up and be back here in five minutes Talon, I'll get everyone else situated." Talon shrugged and did as he was instructed. Keitaro, raising his megaphone to his mouth, called out, "Su, have you gotten everything ready?"
Su peered out from the top of the microphone box with her usual cheery face, "All set and ready to go!"
"Lance, Shinobu, Kitsune, you all good?"
"Ready!" they said in unison.
"Talon, Naru, you both get back? Okay, I think we're ready!"
Keitaro flipped a switch and the backdrop scrolled down, viewing the scenery of a lush grassland, full of hills and trees, and a large, elegant castle in the far back. He took the lens off the camera and started recording. Su came in focus, carrying one of those movie marker thingies.
"Scene 1, Take 1, Marker!" She snapped closed the thingie and left from view.
"Action!" Keitaro shouted.
Naru, dressed in an elegant gown, walked into view. Kitsune and Shinobu, as her hand-maidens, held the hem of her dress and followed after her. Dramatically, Naru said her line,
"Oh, tis a wonderful day to hunt down perverts!"
"CUT! Naru, that wasn't in the script!"
Naru gave him a blank look, "It wasn't? I couldn't tell..."
Rubbing his temples, Keitaro called out to Su, "Let's take it back from the top."
"Scene 1, Take 1, Marker!"
"Action!"
Naru and her two hand-maidens came back out and stepped into view.
"Oh, tis a wonderful day, isn't it hand-maiden Shinobu?"
"Oh yes, it's very nice outside Princess Naru!"
"And you, hand-maiden Kitsune?"
"It's sure pretty out, ya'll!"
"CUT!" Keitaro shouted, "Kitsune, you don't say 'ya'll' in the movie."
Kitsune looked offended, "Why, that's just ridiculous! I don't see any reason not to at all."
Keitaro heaved another heavy sigh, "All right fine, let's move on from there, action!"
Lance jumped into the scene, wearing his costume consisting of a half-mask like in Phantom of the Opera, a fake beard, a heavy robe, and a hood over his head. He un-sheathed his sword and pointed it at Naru.
"A-HA! I have you now, Princess!"
"CUT!!!!" Keitaro was very irritated, "Lance, you weren't supposed to come in yet!"
Lance look puzzled and lowered his fake sword, "I don't?"
Keitaro gripped his megaphone hard, "No you weren't! You come in when Naru says her line, 'Here comes Talon the Brave'!"
"Like I'll believe that..." Lance sheathed his fake sword and walked off-stage.
"Look people," Keitaro said calmly, "Let's just try to get this done with, no more goofing off."
At that moment, Talon came back with Kentaro closely behind him, looking around the set with a disgusted look.
"Uhm, Keitaro man," said Talon, "Kentaro just stopped by, said he wanted to see our movie."
Keitaro looked ready to blow up, "WE don't allow visitors on the set, Talon." he said through his gritted teeth.
"No no no no, this is repulsive." Kentaro said, observing the set with his disgusted look, "This certainly cannot do, my friend. I'm sure you could do better."
"Look Kentaro, we're really in the middle of an important project I have to finish here, would you mind leaving?!" Keitaro stood from his chair, looking more than pleased to shut his mouth.
Kentaro smiled, "I would suggest you let me stay Ol' chap, with my wonderful talent in art I can change this excuse for a home video to a masterpiece!"
Shinobu frowned, "I guess I'll go and make some extra buffet food for our,...guest." she walked off inside and toward the kitchen. Talon reluctantly followed her, "Don't worry Shinobu, I'll help you."
Naru scoffed and muttered in a sarcastic tone, "Oh look, there goes Talon the Brave."
"A-HA! I have you now, Princess!"
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NEXT TIME: Well, so far things are off to a bad start, but what happens when Kentaro joins the fray? And Haitani and Shirai help out as well, but how could this movie get any worse?.....
